What's your pet answer to "Why are you traveling solo?"
Dec 7th, 2006, 03:03 PM
#41
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Twenty-five years ago I remember traveling alone in Wales on business and being asked by a bunch of rugby players where my husband was. When I said that he was "in America," I was told that "he must be a very weak man" to let me travel alone. No, I said, just the opposite: He had supreme confidence in himself AND me! Oddly enough, Southeast Asia has been the easiest place to travel alone: No problems at all--and the only men who harrassed me just wanted to practice their English!
Dec 8th, 2006, 12:20 PM
#42
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I have been traveling solo for almost 40 years, and have had very few problems. Just like some others here, the only people who have ever questioned me about it are people I work with or family members. Many years ago they thought me too young, and now I'm too old. I travel alone because I LOVE it. Even when I was married, I always had to do a solo trip. I enjoy meeting new people, doing new things, and eating new foods. I think I'll never stop doing this.
The thing that worries people most is no my going to strange foreign countries, but driving long distances by myself. For some reason I really don't understand, it's something a woman in her 60's should not be doing.
The thing that worries people most is no my going to strange foreign countries, but driving long distances by myself. For some reason I really don't understand, it's something a woman in her 60's should not be doing.
Dec 31st, 2006, 06:23 PM
#43
Sometimes people find it even stranger when you do have a husband at home and he isn't with you. Usually I just say, "He couldn't get away" (which is absolutely true, though I am comfortable traveling solo and do so at least twuce a year). I did travel with a friend once and that is probably the last time.)
I just went to New Zealand alone, to attend a two day conference but also of course to see as much of the country as I could in 8 days. Had a great time; went on an all-woman hike, and then out to dinner with a couple of women from the hike, from Australia and Denmark. People back home thought I was very brave to go all that way alone, but it's the same distance from SFO to Aukland as to most European hubs.
I've never had trouble getting a table for myself only anywhere in Europe, US, or NZ.
I just went to New Zealand alone, to attend a two day conference but also of course to see as much of the country as I could in 8 days. Had a great time; went on an all-woman hike, and then out to dinner with a couple of women from the hike, from Australia and Denmark. People back home thought I was very brave to go all that way alone, but it's the same distance from SFO to Aukland as to most European hubs.
I've never had trouble getting a table for myself only anywhere in Europe, US, or NZ.
Jan 3rd, 2007, 08:41 PM
#45
This thread is fascinating, and I hope it's ok to participate even though I don't travel alone very often. My mother traveled alone, all over the world, at a time when women didn't do "such things" (!), and so I've never considered solo travelling to be unusual.
In any case, as a rather private person, if I'm not with my husband (who is also a private person), I infinitely prefer to travel alone rather than with someone (or a group of someones) just for the sake of "company." I assume that has to do with personality type, as my sister & her husband almost always travel with other couples, and one of my unmarried friends always travels with a group of women.
In any case, I think JBHapgood has the perfect answer: Why not?
In any case, as a rather private person, if I'm not with my husband (who is also a private person), I infinitely prefer to travel alone rather than with someone (or a group of someones) just for the sake of "company." I assume that has to do with personality type, as my sister & her husband almost always travel with other couples, and one of my unmarried friends always travels with a group of women.
In any case, I think JBHapgood has the perfect answer: Why not?
Jan 4th, 2007, 09:12 AM
#46
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I loved reading everyone's contributions. I am single and frequently have to fact the choice of either traveling alone or not travel at all. I love traveling so it comes up frequently. In March 2006 I wanted to do a two week trip through holiday through France and Italy. One woman at work shook her head in sympathy when I said that I was going to travel alone. She actually said that it was "sad". I told her it was what I wanted to do and I thought liberating and not sad. Then I thought about a friend of mine said years ago that it was a good idea to mail local people in cities where you might want to live in order to find out more about the place. So I went onto a dating site and mailed someone in every city I was going to visit to find out more about the respective cities. Only one person responded. An American living in Lyon - and we actually traveled together in the end! Even though I took the precaution of making sure that until I could suss him out that we would never be alone together. I turned out very well and I don't think I need to tell you what I told the woman at work. That the possiblity of traveling alone and who you can travel with is much better than sitting at home wishing you had. I hope to travel, alone or not, for years to come. No matter what, but society's pressure of pushing me in a box will not make me conform. I want to travel to Vic falls again - and I am sitting with the same problem. I am a bit more scared though. It is Africa. I am from South Africa and right now I am actually considering making England my new home because I would love to travel more and traveling alone in Africa is not always a safe option.
T
T
Jan 4th, 2007, 09:20 AM
#47
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Lucie - all are welcome here! 
Taniajvr - your comment about better to travel alone than regret never going anywhere is exactly how I feel.
I think most people would prefer to travel with another person who is compatible than to travel alone, but to forego traveling at all because you will be alone is a shame.
I remember talking to a friend who was amazed I travelled alone and I asked her "have you ever cuddled up on the couch with a good book when the family was out somewhere?" She hadn't. I told her that was why she couldn't understand traveling alone, because she had never been alone. It's not the same thing as being lonely, it's enjoying your own company.
Taniajvr - your comment about better to travel alone than regret never going anywhere is exactly how I feel.
I think most people would prefer to travel with another person who is compatible than to travel alone, but to forego traveling at all because you will be alone is a shame.
I remember talking to a friend who was amazed I travelled alone and I asked her "have you ever cuddled up on the couch with a good book when the family was out somewhere?" She hadn't. I told her that was why she couldn't understand traveling alone, because she had never been alone. It's not the same thing as being lonely, it's enjoying your own company.
Jan 4th, 2007, 11:52 AM
#48
Perfectly said, toed. I do think some people find their own company uninteresting -- and/or uncomfortable! And in my experience, it has little to do with being introverted, extroverted, etc. ...
Jan 4th, 2007, 12:16 PM
#49
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I started traveling alone 5 years ago and when people ask me why I go alone, I tell them it is my character building timeout, mommy sabatical and that it enhances my coping skills for when I get home and have to deal with all the other obstacles you're dealt with in everyday life..when traveling, if you're lost, you're lost..don't panic, regain your composure and think out your situation..most women are too afraid, not confident and totally rely on men to fulfill their life and it irritates me when women admire me for my solo travels and want to go and then their husbands leer at me for traveling alone and then look at my husband like he is something from boggy creek for letting me go..it's like their wives are their possessions and can't think for themselves..
enough said..I'm embarking on a rigorous schedule in May and have no earthly idea how to go about doing everything in the timeframe I'm doing it in re: eng/ireland/scotland, but know that I will do the research and give it MY best shot! Here's to all the women solo travelers who love their life! Here's to all the places I've been and plan to go!
enough said..I'm embarking on a rigorous schedule in May and have no earthly idea how to go about doing everything in the timeframe I'm doing it in re: eng/ireland/scotland, but know that I will do the research and give it MY best shot! Here's to all the women solo travelers who love their life! Here's to all the places I've been and plan to go!
Jan 4th, 2007, 12:27 PM
#51
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I usually find that the most extroverted people I know, are the least self-contented people. Being introverted doesn't mean being anti-social.
Aggie - You're right. I think too many women (of all ages) look to others to make them happy. In doing so, they never learn how to be happy with themselves. I think most solo travelers have learned that trick.
With all humility, I would say that solo travelers have a deeper understanding of our existence than other folks have. I think perhaps our experiences are felt at a much deeper level. I can certainly say that for me, I feel things much deeper when experiencing them alone than I do when I have other people with me. Maybe it's because I can just let everything flow around me without worrying about how the other person is doing...
Aggie - that trip sounds wonderful. How long will you be there? I know I'm planning a 1 month trip to England, Scotland and Wales and I can't imagine how I'm going to see everything.
Aggie - You're right. I think too many women (of all ages) look to others to make them happy. In doing so, they never learn how to be happy with themselves. I think most solo travelers have learned that trick.
With all humility
, I would say that solo travelers have a deeper understanding of our existence than other folks have. I think perhaps our experiences are felt at a much deeper level. I can certainly say that for me, I feel things much deeper when experiencing them alone than I do when I have other people with me. Maybe it's because I can just let everything flow around me without worrying about how the other person is doing...Aggie - that trip sounds wonderful. How long will you be there? I know I'm planning a 1 month trip to England, Scotland and Wales and I can't imagine how I'm going to see everything.
Jan 4th, 2007, 12:45 PM
#52
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I once read a great response to prying questions- which is to smile and say "Why do you ask?". This after finding myself answering questions I knew I didn't want to answer, or shouldn't be asked. I have taken on this answer and felt much better about it.
While all the reasons we travel alone are valid- no one has ever asked me "Why do you travel with your husband/daughter, etc?"
Happy travels- no need to explain or justify.
While all the reasons we travel alone are valid- no one has ever asked me "Why do you travel with your husband/daughter, etc?"
Happy travels- no need to explain or justify.
Jan 4th, 2007, 07:14 PM
#53
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<i>I usually find that the most extroverted people I know, are the least self-contented people. Being introverted doesn't mean being anti-social.</i>
I've seen a definition that extroverts gain energy from being around people, while introverts expend energy when around people. I don't necessarily agree with that, but I think it has merit.
<i>With all humility , I would say that solo travelers have a deeper understanding of our existence than other folks have. I think perhaps our experiences are felt at a much deeper level. I can certainly say that for me, I feel things much deeper when experiencing them alone than I do when I have other people with me.</i>
I'm sorry, but for me that paragraph might as well have been written in Outer Mongolian. I can't fathom any connection between solo travel and either "deep feelings" or "understanding." Maybe that's something peculiar to women, as I've seen similar statements in writings about solo travel "by women for women." Or maybe it's because I see solo travel something strictly practical: I don't enjoy solo travel very much, but <b>I will not let the lack of a travel companion force me to stay home</b>. I guess that's ultimately what matters, and if you derive something deeper than that from solo travel, so much the better.
I've seen a definition that extroverts gain energy from being around people, while introverts expend energy when around people. I don't necessarily agree with that, but I think it has merit.
<i>With all humility , I would say that solo travelers have a deeper understanding of our existence than other folks have. I think perhaps our experiences are felt at a much deeper level. I can certainly say that for me, I feel things much deeper when experiencing them alone than I do when I have other people with me.</i>
I'm sorry, but for me that paragraph might as well have been written in Outer Mongolian. I can't fathom any connection between solo travel and either "deep feelings" or "understanding." Maybe that's something peculiar to women, as I've seen similar statements in writings about solo travel "by women for women." Or maybe it's because I see solo travel something strictly practical: I don't enjoy solo travel very much, but <b>I will not let the lack of a travel companion force me to stay home</b>. I guess that's ultimately what matters, and if you derive something deeper than that from solo travel, so much the better.
Jan 4th, 2007, 07:23 PM
#54
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<i>While all the reasons we travel alone are valid- no one has ever asked me "Why do you travel with your husband/daughter, etc?"</i>
It's probably the same reason why nobody asks 90+% of the population "Why do you choose your heterosexual lifestyle?"
If you're a member of any minory group-- particularly a poorly-understood one-- you'll have to learn to live with stares, questions, and sometimes derision. Solo leisure travelers are a small and poorly-understood minority, particularly in the United States where the leisure travel industry is based entirely on (and markets almost exclusively to) couples and families. So the sight of a solo traveler is apt to provoke a range of emotions from pity to curiosity to fear (in the case of solo men). The most common reaction within the travel industry is to ignore solo travelers entirely, as they're a troublesome anomaly too insignficant to bother with anyway.
It's probably the same reason why nobody asks 90+% of the population "Why do you choose your heterosexual lifestyle?"
If you're a member of any minory group-- particularly a poorly-understood one-- you'll have to learn to live with stares, questions, and sometimes derision. Solo leisure travelers are a small and poorly-understood minority, particularly in the United States where the leisure travel industry is based entirely on (and markets almost exclusively to) couples and families. So the sight of a solo traveler is apt to provoke a range of emotions from pity to curiosity to fear (in the case of solo men). The most common reaction within the travel industry is to ignore solo travelers entirely, as they're a troublesome anomaly too insignficant to bother with anyway.
Jan 4th, 2007, 07:52 PM
#55
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JB - perhaps the "deeper feeling" thing is for people who really enjoy traveling alone rather than for just anyone traveling alone? I know for me, I enjoy traveling alone very much because I can spend 3 hours watching a sailboat fade out of sight on the horizon without worrying about my companion being bored. That tends to get me thinking about deeper things. When I'm with others, I would never spend all that time just watching, so my thoughts don't start roaming. If I didn't enjoy being alone like that, I'd probably spend that time thinking how much better it would be if I had someone to share it with, etc.
I would definitely agree with that definition of extrovert and introvert. While I'm very social and folks would laugh at the thought, with that description, I'm definitely an introvert. After spending several hours in a crowd, I need to spend time alone to recoup. In the days of going to clubs, I could never go out 2 weekends in a row - if I did, I was emotionally worn out and testy.
I would definitely agree with that definition of extrovert and introvert. While I'm very social and folks would laugh at the thought, with that description, I'm definitely an introvert. After spending several hours in a crowd, I need to spend time alone to recoup. In the days of going to clubs, I could never go out 2 weekends in a row - if I did, I was emotionally worn out and testy.
Jan 5th, 2007, 06:35 AM
#57
Often before I leave on a trip I promise myself I will "review my life" and do some real serious thinking on the state of things during the course of a trip... so far *never once* has that actually happened. I get on the plane, get the trip rolling, and start have too much fun to remember to contemplate my navel -lol!
Jan 5th, 2007, 07:58 AM
#59
toed, you're not alone, not by a long shot, dear one. I contemplate my navel when I'm alone <i>and</i> even when I'm with my dh: we contemplate our navels together. We both have lovely navels.
