Corshi- like suze said your experience probably won't be what you thought. If it's any consolation, I had very little cash, but still came home with some- I didn't stop for as many meals or buy many trinkets. When I was there I didn't feel nervous. I never think I will meet people, and somehow always do. Often a family adopts me and keeps an eye out for me which is sweet.
10 days after my return, I get little flashes of the plaza where I was staying as if I could walk outside and across it at any time. How wonderful that something has gotten under your skin and becomes a little part of you. Good luck, you'll be great on your own.

Haha, I just finished reading a book about solo traveling, and there's a section called "Health and Security." If that doesn't get you to second-guess going on your own, nothing can. But I still want to go.

Unlike alot of people, I'm not going with the sole intentions of seeing particular sites and going to specific places. I want to feel like an explorer, to walk through a thick forest and over the sunny hill discover a castle near the river. That's the kind of thing that gets me excited.

And I want to prove something to myself. I'm still living at home; I want to show myself I can be dependent. I know I can be, I just need proof to show myself. And I want to take lots of pictures and make my friends super jealous!

Buena suerte (good luck) you have an awful lot of expectations pegged on taking a trip. Sincerely I do wish you all the best anyways.

p.s. But don't you mean INdependent???

I don't think I'm being unreasonable with my expectations anymore. I'm no longer looking for a life changing experience. But I can't cast away all my expectations; what would I have to be excited about then?

I know plans change, and everything could change once I get there. But I'm going to HAVE to be a bit more INdependent than I am now, that is an obvious given.

<<...what would I have to be excited about then?>>

THE TRIP (I wish I could make that in big huge letters)... the whole schebang, start to finish, every minute of every day... that's what you can be excited about.

It's not about "your expectations" (ok now i definitely sound like a broken record) it's about opening your mind to what you will find along the way.

That's part of why people get so darn excited traveling, you never know what will happen from one day to the next.



sincerely (we're cheering you on!), s.

Thanks for looking out for me guys. I'm glad for these forums.

It's the unexpected that is scaring me the most! But it might be refreshing to take some time away from my predictible life and face the unknown... Can I at least have the expectation that I cannot have

any expectations? (Maybe I'm not ready to take this trip.)

Enjoy the expectation of discovering the unexpected and leave it at that.

I think what most of us are saying is to not expect specifics. You can expect to have a good time, enjoy the sights, etc., but once you start EXPECTING to "see a beaver" or "dance the forbidden dance" or "meet 20 people" or "get invited to someone's home", etc., you're bound to get disappointed. By being sooo specific in your desires for the trip, you will end up sabotaging it because you become obsessed with those desires and miss everything else.

I find it's usually the same when something goes wrong on a trip:

Say your flight gets cancelled. You get all worked up because you have to wait another day to leave for your trip - it's going to ruin the whole trip now.

You get on the plane finally and continue to be upset because it's full and you've got a lousy seat (but the one you had for your original flight was the PERFECT seat).

You get to your destination, and because you didn't show up on time, they gave away your rental car and now you have a car you don't want (too big, too small).

You get to your hotel and they gave away your room. You spend 15 minutes at the counter getting it resolved. This vacation isn't going so well.

You start running around trying to fit everything you wanted to do in a shorter time frame and you come home upset, frantic, and ill at ease. Lousy trip.

Had you not decided at the beginning that your trip would be ruined, you would have spent the flight talking to that wonderful man sitting next to you and found out some great places to check out on your trip; you would have realized that you saved $200 on gas because you ended up with a smaller car; you would have realized that the hotel room you ended up in had a beautiful view; you would have decided to let go of your perfect itinerary and just enjoy yourself at a slower pace; and your vacation would have been the best.

Toedtoes:

Invaluable. I totally understand what you mean now. I'm starting to lose my expectations of my trip, but those expectations are being replaced with fears.

Here's some of my big fears (I know some may be unfounded):

1) If I need help, I'll have no one to turn to.

2) Without friends (ie security bubble), I won't feel adventerous or outgoing (with my friends I am much more so).

3) I'll feel extremely lonely most of the time.

4) The trip will be arduous (the exact opposite of a relaxing vacation).

Since I've been thinking about my fears so much, I've spent alot of time trying to dispell them. But they're still there. You don't know how much I want to keep an open mind on the trip, but I fear being so confused and overstimulated that my mind will go into panic and I'll just want to go hide somewhere (half joking, but half serious).

Sorry for being a bother, I just worry alot. And I guess anticipated fears are actually "expectations", huh?

<<<<1) If I need help, I'll have no one to turn to.>>>

You will surprise yourself. I've always utilized the information offices. Cops are also very helpful,as well is super cute in every country.

<<<<2) Without friends (ie security bubble), I won't feel adventerous or outgoing (with my friends I am much more so).>>>>>

Been there done that. It sometimes occurs during the down time of my trip,mostly in the beginning. I've been to one place I felt completely like I didn't belong even though I met someone and we hung out and talked several times during my stay.
But you make the best of it and find something you think will bring you out of that funk. I also would maintain contact with family and friends with my homepage and just e-mails as to how my trip is going. It does help.

<<<<3) I'll feel extremely lonely most of the time.>>>>>

Again,the internet is a beautiful thing. Enjoy your own company.

<<<<<4) The trip will be arduous (the exact opposite of a relaxing vacation).>>>>

It can be both at times. *exhale lady,exhale.

<<*exhale lady,exhale.>>

Hahahaha, I guess I sound like a lady. Don't usually talk about my fears and worries to this depth, but I feel like you guys can help me out. Don't worry, no offense taken. Great advice tzarinna I'll keep it all in mind.

I understand fears - that's part of growing up and becoming INdependent. It's natural to worry about these things.

But, another part of growing up is learning how to HANDLE yourself. So, let's get right down to it:

1) If I need help, I'll have no one to turn to.

OK. How can you reduce the possibility of something going wrong? How can you prepare for something going wrong? What are the most likely things that could happen requiring you to need help? What can you do/bring to resolve those things with as little stress as possible?

2) Without friends (ie security bubble), I won't feel adventerous or outgoing (with my friends I am much more so)

This involves learning to be comfortable with yourself. Try spending an hour a day, alone, no tv, no music, no cell phone, etc. and talk to yourself. It sounds weird, but it really works. Tell yourself about your day, ask yourself things like "how could I have handled today differently?", etc. After a while, you will realize that you are really pretty smart and intelligent and capable. Another thing to try, when you have to make a decision, don't ask other people and then decide. Make a decision and then ask ONLY those people that you know to be very good decision makers their opinion. This way, you learn how to come to a decision, and you learn how to analyze your decision making skills.

3) I'll feel extremely lonely most of the time.

Loneliness will be OK. It's the stress of not knowing what to do when you get lonely that will break you. So, make your plan now on how to combat loneliness. That way, you won't be stressed during the trip and you can focus your energy on dealing with the loneliness. Also, the exercises to #2 will reduce the chance of loneliness because you'll learn how to enjoy your own company.

4) The trip will be arduous (the exact opposite of a relaxing vacation).

Put your plan down on paper and then review it. Work out plans for some of the days to just sit around. Don't make them specific days, just allow yourself a few "spare the stress" days to recoup when you get worn out.

If you're not sure of your progress, report here and we'll tell you. Seriously, we'll be here to help with this, but you won't feel comfortable on your own until you start finding the solutions to your problems (you know what I mean??).

P.S. We've all been where you are now - whether it was going off to college or moving out or taking a new job. By doing this over your summer, you will be an old hand when it's time for the rest.

Corshi- You aren't a bother, you are an interesting person/poster. I just feel sorry you have so many anxieties.

Remember, you don't have to take this trip at all. If you are really not ready for it yet, no one says you have to go. You could wait a few years and gain some confidence and maturity as an adult on your own (maybe move out of the house first?).

That said, I hope you DO decide to go ahead with a trip, because you'll see most of your worries, concerns, expectations, etc. have very little to do with what will actually happen to you each day.

For example if you need help you ask-
1) at the hotel front desk
2) police on the street
3) tourist office
4) at the train station
5) clerks in shops
6) waiters in restaurants
7) email your friends and family
8) figure it our yourself!

<<Remember, you don't have to take this trip at all.>>

I think this will make me feel most at ease on the trip. The fact that I can call the airline to tell them I want to go home on the next flight may help remove feelings of being trapped in a strange country.

Part of my problem is I think this is something I SHOULD do because I have the opportunity open to me, not because I truly want to do it. So you can see why I am confused. I just keep hoping maybe I'll actually enjoy it once I get there and things won't be a big deal. I know I know, another expectation. Some days I'm excited, others I'm thinking "what the hell am I getting into?"

I never do anything I don't want to do (when I have the ability to choose).

If you think you will cut the trip short, you'll want to take that into account with the kind of ticket you buy. There will most likely be a cost (that you'll need to plan for) if you change the date to come home earlier than your return ticket. (Not trying to give you more worries, just more information to work with!). kindly, s.

I agree with Suze - I don't do anything I don't want to if given the choice.

I think the first thing you have to work out - here and now - is do you REALLY want to go on this trip? Do you want to see the sights, eat the food, experience the adventure of a foreign country, sleep in hostels, ride your bike for days, etc.?

If you say yes to those questions, then you're just having cold feet and normal fears. That's OK, we all have them and you'll get through them.

If you say no to those questions, then you're probably not ready for this particular trip. Perhaps you should rethink the details - maybe instead of biking your way through, you should pick one city and spend a week on your own (instead of 3 weeks biking to multiple destinations). Or maybe provide enough leeway in your schedule to "dump the bike" and take a train to your next destination if you get overwhelmed.

Here's my homework for you (hopefully, this will help you) :

Give us one solution to each of the four concerns you listed (don't just repeat what we've written, but actually figure out the specific steps that you will take).

We can keep giving you advice, but until it works its way into your soul, you won't get over the fear, so this homework is to help get your subconscious to feel at ease.

<<Do you want to see the sights, eat the food, experience the adventure of a foreign country, sleep in hostels, ride your bike for days, etc.? >>

Very, very good question. Part of my thinking for the trip was to fly by the seat of my pants, to do whatever I fancied in the moment. BUT, I should probably do some strong research into the country (food, customs, etc). Do you agree with this? Because right now I know little of the Czech Republic, so little that it probably doesn't really matter to me what country I decide to travel in.

1) If I need help, I'll have no one to turn to.

I don't have alot of confidence in my problem-solving skills (well justified). Also, if I make a wrong move, I'm pretty hard on myself and exaggerate the problems. So, learning to trust my instincts (whether that be taking action, or trusting the advice of well-meaning locals). And learning from mistakes, not just magnifying the immediate consequences.

2) Without friends (ie security bubble), I won't feel adventerous or outgoing (with my friends I am much more so).

Don't go into the country thinking there is no way I will meet other people in my same situation! One of my BAD expectations is that there is no way I will be able to open up enough to others that I will find any sort of companionship. So don't go in expecting to find a friend, but also don't think that there is no hope of finding a friendly person. In other words, keeping myself open to other people.

3) I'll feel extremely lonely most of the time.

What a great time to slow down and take the time to enjoy my own company? Or if I can't stand my own company at that moment, get out and find a sight to see or take a walk, something to occupy my mind.

4) The trip will be arduous (the exact opposite of a relaxing vacation).

Alot of it probably will be. I'm going into a situation that makes me feel very exposed and insecure. But trials and tribulations can be the things that make this a great trip, depending on how I look at them. Don't let the bad stuff make you blind to all the good around you.

I'll keep thinking about these things. Writing this post has lifted my spirits a bit. Thanks!

Right from your very first question on the forum, I've been encouraging a more simple trip, for a 1st-timer.

Just get a ticket and go to London or Paris for 10-days. Try that for a start. It's easy to plan. Not as expensive or intimidating as your elaborate ideas that are scaring you off from even taking a trip at all!!!

Wouldn't a more simple trip be a better decision than staying at home because you are vaguely afraid?

Well, my ideas are less elaborate now.

1) Biking

I've pretty much given up the idea of biking. The logistics are impractical (buying a bike, selling it, keeping it running). Not practical at all.

2) The entire distance from Prague to Vienna

This is way too much distance to cover. In the back of my mind I want a slow trip at a slow pace, but then I force myself to the Prague/Vienna Greenways. It makes little sense. So perhaps limit the scope of my travels to the towns surrounding Prague (my departure city). This may also mean an increase to the number of English speaking people.

3) Time

I have 3 months if I want to use it all, but I doubt I will. So my travel company told me I have the option of calling the airline and rescheduling departure to an earlier date. BUT, I'm keeping the 3 months open to me (cause who knows, I might like it sooo much I want to stay the whole time? Not saying it will happen, but who knows???)

But I don't have an interest in London/England or Paris/France. They just don't interest me. But I'll think about other locations, or maybe only spending a short time in the Czech Republic... Traveling to and from other countries may only add complications though.

So as you can see, I've lost my elaborate plans. I want to simplify; not to be tied down to travel times and locations. Ie, not to force anything upon myself.