Momof4boys

Distraction, distraction, distraction.

Keep yourself busy with books, an IPod, Crossword puzzles, word searches and LOTS of snacks. Part of the reason they (used to) feed passengers is to keep them calm and busy.

judyjay

The same thing happened to me. I flew for years without any problem and then suddenly I needed Xanax to combat the stomach turning fear. I mentioned this to other people and the women said the same thing happened to them when they had kids. I guess some women develop an unconscious fear of leaving their children orphans. I thought this was silly until my daughters turned 18 and I no longer was experiencing the white-knuckle, heart pounding that I endured for years. I'd be interested in finding out if anyone else had the same experience.

Surfergirl

Judy I was just speaking with a colleague about fear of flying today and he told me after his last child got married, the fear suddenly went away.

bdjtbenson

Surfergirl,

Of course the fear of flying was replaced with clinical depression when he got the bill for the wedding.

FainaAgain

Surfegirl, for me it was the opposite - the fear started with the empty nest.

suze

Well, mine has nothing to do with kids one way or the other, since I don't have any. My flying anxiety (coupled with a bit of claustrophobia) seemed to develop with age.

BeBeRose

Look into the course called:

White Knockles To Cockpit Cool.

By Dave & Eve Carmichael

annw

People who fly infrequently can certainly take advantage of the pharmacological cure.

Others may want to have a more long term fix, which for many people talk therapy could help accomplish.

For what it's worth, I've suffered with flying phobia and I'm also a clinical psychologist who has treated panic disorder and anxiety and such phobias.

Telling me that the drive to the airport was more dangerous than the flight cut no ice with me. I felt more in control in the car, so wasn't anxious. I didn't particularly like driving over bridges either, but it wasn't as bad as flying.

Distraction, focus, and certainly diaphragmatic breathing and relaxation can help, but ultimately one needs to tolerate feelings of anxiety and accept not being in total control in order to get over them.

Exposure with response prevention is the research-supported treatment for many anxiety conditions. It's worth researching if you are interested and don't want to take meds. Also there are some good virtual reality labs to help people--several in my area at least.

I tested the hypothesis myself. Though we used to live in Hawaii (and are now back home on the California coast) I was particularly afraid to fly over water.

So two years ago I accepted an opportunity to present a paper in New Zealand. Twelve hours over water in a nonstop flight, and back.

Within NZ, I had to take a number of flights on what appeared to be tiny planes held together with rubber bands and flown by blond twelve-year-olds with braces and pony tails.

Having survived, and disconfirmed my irrational fears, I am now able to fly to Hawaii (which I must do several times a year) without distress, though I will never really like it and declined to fly in an inter-island plane after they took a test take-off on the runway to make sure it could!

Consider the talking cure if you 1. don't want meds or 2. fly frequently.

SamH

I am wondering about the fact that this fear developed after you have flown many times previous.

You might want to look back and see if anything has changed.... medication you take...work or home related stress...something that might not be obvious until you look at it from this fear of flying perspective.

I also would be one to avoid medication if at all possible. But for you, it may be just what the doctor ordered. (pun intended).

Of course, don't rely on the doctors on this board, go see your own professional for advice in this area.

Good luck in finding your soulution.