sarahsmiles

Hi Fodorites! This is my first post, though I have been ghosting for awhile! Everyone always has such wonderful and kind advice. I'm a 19 year old sophmore in college and have the opportunity to study for a semester in London. I plan to take many weekend trips throughout the semester around the UK and then this summer I want to backpack around Europe by myself. I'm sure I will be back with many questions later! But for right now I'm having some trouble. All of my friends and most of my family think I'm crazy!(my father, who has always taught me to be independant, is excluded from this list) Why do you want to go alone? they say. You'll get raped, killed or both. Even beyond safety concerns some people feel sorry for me! You'll be lonely, they say. One friend is fixated on the fact I won't be in any of my photos!One person went so far as to say that there was no point in going if I was going alone!

I would never let any of this talk prevent me from following my dreams to Europe. Life is too short for me to wait around for someone to want/have the means to go with me. I've worked hard to do this and I'm ready for my adventure!

My question(finally!lol) is how do all you solo travellers out there deal with the barrage of negative reactions and questions? I also wonder if this is because I'm a woman? Or do solo male travellers get this same reaction?

Thank you all!

Sarah

sarahsmiles

WOW! Please excuse all of my typos! Lack of sleep from midterms!

Sarah

laartista

Ignore them. If I had ever listened there's alot of places I would have never seen. My first trip overseas was at 19 as well. I went solo, spent part of the time visiting a friend at semester abroad in Nottingham. Had a blast. Go and have fun!

gipsyali

Hey Girl, There is HOPE And good karma. When I was 19 (alooong time ago!) I was an exchange student in England and did a 3 week eurail trip through Europe, with no previous travel exp. and no language skills. It was a blast. There are definately things to watch out for that I can fill you in on. I studied at University of Bath, about an hour outside London. In 3 weeks abroad I did Paris, French Riveria, Switzerland (all over) and Italy (Venice and Florence). I met great gals at the youth hostels who showed me the ropes and we'd stick together at night to stay safe. Good luck with your journey, and if it is your passion nothing will stop you, That was my first bite of travel and once I started I could not stop...let to many years of travel adventures all over the world, with non-profits and working on cruise ships and just fun vacations.
Let me know your questions, happy to help, and this forum is the best place to start!
gipsyali :0

concernedparent

Hi Sarah,
If you search under concernedparent you will be able to see all the wonderful comments/advice/insight our son and I have rec'd about this same topic. The post is 'europe college son wants to backpack wander'
I encourage you to read ALL of the replies I rec'd from my post - they have been instrumental in altering my initial parental shock at our son's desire to one of parental acceptance and exitement for him. We have raised him to be a responsible, independant, and curious individual....he needs to find his way and I wish you the best of luck on your adventure.
Regards, concernedparent

JoeTro

I've travelled almost exclusively alone a lot in Europe, but I'm a guy, so maybe there's not the same stigma. I think there are many advantages to it.

janisj

I'd guess women will get this more than men - but yes, many people just can't imagine traveling alone.

You will love, LOVE being in London on your own and don't sound to me like someone who would be lonely. You are bound to make friends at school. But even w/o there is sooooooo much to see and do.

I travel solo probably 60+% of my trips - some as long as 6 weeks. Sure, there are times you'd like to share something w/ a traveling companion - but if you are comfortable in your own skin you will be comfortable in Europe. it is easy to start conversations most anywhere.

And generally - you are safer there than in big cities in the States. Pickpockets can be a worry - but you can walk around day or night and not fear being mugged or attacked. I would never walk alone at night in the downtown of my mid-sized US city. But Paris, London, Munich wherever - I have no problems at all.

MaureenB

Studying abroad sounds like a fabulous opportunity for you. Don't let it pass by.

I've encouraged both our college-age kids to do the same. It's an unbelievable experience. You may go alone, but you'll meet other students you may want to travel with. Go for it!
>-

janisj

wow - we all jumped on this one at the same time!

sarahsmiles: As you can see it is pretty unanimous

scatcat

I spent five days last week alone in Nice. I shopped until I could shop no more. I ate dozens of eclairs, crepes, and gallons of ice cream. You can do just what you want.

I did leave my handbag in the room when I was out after dark-just to be safe.

brando

It seems to me that most of the people who advise you otherwise would be to scared/insecure to do so. You will have the time of your life and feel very safe I am sure.

travelgirl2

I'm a 44 year old woman who travels alone, with my husband and with my husband and kids. They are all fun and rewarding in different ways, but the most completely relaxing way to travel is alone. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I try to get away about once a year for at least a few days.

My friends think I'm crazy. They also think I'm crazy when I go out to dinner or to the movies by myself in my hometown.

I think some people are just not comfortable being alone. It is beyond their comfort zone.

It is less safe travelling alone. Take extra precautions - sometimes it's better to spring for a taxi ride than to walk by yourself late at night. Trust your instincts at the hostels. Try not to be in a situation alone with someone you don't know well. If I get a creepy feeling, I trust it. I'll stop and look in a window to let someone walking behind me pass. Maybe let the elevator with one man in it go and take the next one with a group of people. Speed up to walk just behind a group of people late at night. Be aware, be cautious and trust your instincts.

I hope you go and have a great time!

travelgirl2

P.S. Also better not to drink too much when by yourself.

calico1

I'm travelling solo this November to Europe, my first ever!
I invited my sister to join me but she could not go because she didn't have VL. My girl friend told me that they'll wait till their children are old enough to travel Europe.
I thought life is too short to wait for those things. What if those lovely places in Europe are no longer there when we're ready? Or what if we became sick/weak that we can't go there or explore those places anymore? So my advice to you is - JUST DO IT!
Just keep your radar up and running well while you are out there. Have a wonderful and safe trip.

sarge56

travelgirl2 said exactly what I was thinking. The biggest problem is not having someone who can "look for you" if you go missing.

So, although you may want to "wing it", you should have some kind of planned schedule and email off to school pal or mom/dad. Make sure you check in every other day or so. Because if you do go missing (a 1 in a gazillion chance, IMHO), they need to know where to start to trace your steps.

This is why you should be cautious when out at night and drinking. You need to have your wits about you because you're the only one that can get you "home".

That being said, GO!!! Your father apparently knows you best, and he obviously trusts you to do this. I think most of us parents trust our kids and hope we raised you smart. If anything encumbers you, it would simply be your age. Sometimes youth makes people feel "indestructable".

I have a feeling you're pretty smart! So, have fun and just be aware of your surroundings. Don't volunteer too much information to strangers and you will have a rockin' good time! (I might even tell people, if asked, that I'm traveling with a group and today is an "on your own" day. That way, if they do have less-than-honorable intentions, they'll then think someone is waiting for you and would miss you.)

I agree with posters that traveling alone can be SO relaxing and rewarding. You get to see exactly what YOU want to see. I've been traveling alone for years and I love it!

I'm really excited for you! Good luck!

Paula

tomassocroccante

I'm thinking half of them are worried or jealous that while you may go alone, you won't be alone ...!

It's not unlikely that by the time summer rolls around you'll have friends from London and elsewhere either joining your for legs of your backpacking, meeting up with you here or there, or even setting you up to meet friends living around Europe.

Sounds great, and for those who are still worried about you, the great thing is if you do end up lonely you can always get on a plane and go home. It's great to be free.

fmpden

Our son spent a semester in Madrid and did pretty much what you plan or what to do. First, the school will have a number weekend activities and trips planned so you will not be alone. Second, most of the students will want to do the same thing you want to do and you will find a group of new friends to travel with. At the end of the spring semester, a group of six of them took off -- either 3 and 3 or 4 guys and 2 gals. They traveled together for about four weeks and slowly one by one they dropped off to return home until just Jon and one girl were left after two months. But it worked out very well. Unless you are really committed to traveling alone, you will find plenty of friends wanting to travel with you.

nia

I am so excited for you and I only wish I were in your shoes. Yes, because you are a woman you will get those kinds of replies.
You don't have to reply or respond to other people's negative reactions towards you. But if you prefer to respond you can always tell the truth that you are seeking a great adventure, one that will perhaps make you a better person. Or you can always have fun with people, make a great story why you are going (ie meet your husband, etc and get creative with it!)Finally, accept the fact that people are going to think in a negative way, no matter what you say. Just choose to remain positive and look foward to your trip. Happy travels!

Seamus

Though - uh, let's just say several - years older and of different gender, I relish solo travel, and have all my life. I have also enjoyed trips with my spouse and with some selected friends, but that is a different sort of travel. When I was much younger most folks simply assumed (incorrectly) that it was a case of enjoying a "dirty weekend" or so away from home. Even at my age I still get a number of stares and am frequently asked if I am really serious about traveling solo, especially if it is international travel. Almost invariably the people who respond with the most horror are the ones who would do well to buttress up their personal boundaries. Others express surprise and perhaps a bit of interest, as it is something they had not previously contemplated but find somewhat intriguing. To all of them I say - thanks for any sincere concern, I'll send you a postcard (or these days, a link to my trip photos.)

Joliefleur

Please don't let your friends talk you out of going to Europe solo. People are friendly and you'll find lots of folks to talk to. Do be cautious of your funds -- use a money belt.

And follow the advice of others above and check-in daily with your folks via email or Skype at the internet cafes.

You'll have a blast!