Daphne

In one paragraph, what is the funniest thing that has happened to you while traveling?

Deborah

While driving through the mountains of Switzerland, we passed by a lovely cathedral--really quite large for such a little village. We slowed as we drove by, and then continued on. Two miles down the road, the road stopped! We were in a man's backyard! He was mowing, and he laughed as he walked over to us. "Left at the ca-THE-dral!" he said. Oops! We had been so fascinated by the lovely church that we forgot to watch for road signs!

Danna

Daphne, not the funniest, but funny. Leaving our friends' home in Edinburgh my husband slipped, and caught himself. We looked on the sidewalk and there was a BANANA PEEL. Strange but true, thanks for your thread.

Bob Brown

Last year we were walking along the sidewalk on Champ de Mars in Paris. <BR>Some young hotshot on a skate board banged into an elderly lady in front of us. First she unleased a withering Gallic blast at the young man. Then, she kicked his skate board down the steps. <BR>I could not understand a word she said, but I knew exactly what she meant. <BR>Luckily for the skate boarder her kicking ability was considerably short of that exhibited Mia Ham. Otherwise, the skate board would have been floating in the Seine. I hope she did not hurt her foot.

Jeanette

In 1984 in Berlin, when it was part of East Germany and divided- this happened one evening. The underground subway system had phones which took both types of German money, DDR and Federal. Only trick was that inflation differentials between the two made dropping your coins, dialing your number,and speaking to your party all at once a sort of impossiblity like spinning plates and walking a tightrope at the same time. They told me that I couldn't do it without getting disconnected for underpayment. I had my cousin throwing coins in as fast as she could, while I did the rest. After I got my very brief call into my husband and infant son, I looked up and there were about 6 or 7 young Germans who were standing in a circle and applauding.

Patti Suttle

In 1971 on my 2nd trip to Ireland I hooked up with some of the young girls in the town that I had met the year before on my first trip. With my being the "yank" or American girl they thought I was rich (which I was not). They loved everything I had-my cheap cologne, etc. It was a very small town we visited where my parents are from. <BR>So, on our way to a dance they were just so complementary about my blouse-"your blouse is lovely" they were impressed! "You like it?" I said. "Oh yes, its grand" they said. "Well, geez, I bought it down the street at your local market" I said. Were they surprised!! It was from "their own backyard"!!! <BR>Patti

Stanley

<BR>While on a tour of China a few years ago, our guide took the 40 members ofour group to a Tibetan Buddhist lamasary. While on our way in many local people greeted me, stopping to rub my arm or shake my hand. I was the only visitor to get this attention and everyone in my group thought it odd. Most were surprised by my size (6'7" 290 lbs.) and tried comment on it and to wish me well in their own way. Some even wanted pictures. Very strange. Once inside the temple our group came face to face with a statue of a Buddha that could have been cast from my likeness. Everyone; monks, locals, visitors, and tourists kept looking to the statue back to me and then to each other in disbelief. I don't think I would look like a Buddha nor do I think a Buddha should look like an Italian guy from Detroit, but there it was. Now if I could just get people to stop rubbing my belly for good luck.

nancy

Topping <BR>

anon

We were in Cannes,France for the day(by way of the train from Nice)and needed to go to the bathroom. There was a women's toilet room right on the train platform so we decided to go before the train came.( My daughter and I went in together-husband and son were down the platform.)The toilet was actually a huge room with a type of drain/toilet in the floor. I went first and then was trying to hold my daughter so she wouldn't "pee"on her legs to hit the hole WHEN all of a sudden the place went dark and a shower started spraying the whole room. We tried to get out but the door was locked,my daughter was screaming,and we were soaked.....My husband and son finally heard us and came running back to open the door from the outside. It turns out that since it was a public restroom-it automatically cleans/showers the place after one person "pees" so the timing mechanism was off for my daughter. Scary situation for us but the husband and the son thought it was the funniest thing they ever saw-the two of us looking like drowned rats when we emerged!Forget the Cannes film festival-thats all I can think of when I hear the word CAnnes!!!!!!

Lauren

I went to see--or rather to try to see--the great eclipse of August 11, 1999. We landed in the town of Pirmasens near the French border in Germany. I got out of the car and whipped out my tube of eclipse glasses. I had brought a pair in the US and had to buy 50 as though I were a wholesaler. <BR> <BR>They converged like vultures. One guy tried to negotiate with me in German. My German is a joke, heavily dependent on a phrase book and Yiddish curses from childhood. I was dealing with someone whose German was worse than mine. Then he turned to his wife and spoke perfectly good American English. I looked it him and said, "6 marks. I don't speak German either." <BR> <BR>Incidentally, I made quite a bit of cash from those eclipse glasses because there were no eclipse glasses to be had in Europe at that time. <BR> <BR>15 minutes after selling out, it rained cats and dogs. I ran out of the square to get out of the rain and away from any irate customers who just bought eclipse glasses for an eclipse they would not see. Well, the cobblestones were wet and I slipped. When I went down, my pants got wet--and not just from the wet cobblestones--if you get my gist. <BR> <BR>Not a good day, but a funny story. A 2 day trip from Northern Germany to see the eclipse ends in disaster--but a funny disaster.

Diane

We were on a bus in London & I asked the driver twice for directions & was totally ignored both times. Finally, I gave up & took my seat next to a little old lady who immediately offered to help. We received our information & she rang the bell to get off at the next stop. After slowly & carefully creeping to the front door, she turned & announded to a packed bus, "Now just remember dearie, when you get back home to Texas, that in London IT WAS THE IRISH WHO HAD TO HELP YOU." With that she added, "Ta Ta" & primly stepped down to the walk with the door slamming shut behind her.

Elina

Three years ago, when I was 18, I went to a Greek restaurant on the Latin quarters in Paris. I was a little bit tipsy from the wine, and was discreetly moving my shoulders to the music. However, one of the waiters noticed me, and tried to get me to dance on the dance floor. I was too embarrassed since no one else was dancing, so I said NO. In response, the waiter cleared the table in a second, and pulled me up onto the table. I ended up dancing on the table until the song was over, with the rest of the restaurant cheerfully applauding me.

Anne Onymous

A couple of ravenously hungry American tourists wandered the streets of a small Israeli town looking for a place to have lunch. Finally they passed a building with a painted sign on one wall that seemed to say "RESTAURANT" in Hebrew. Though rather unattractive on the outside, the place had cute homey-looking curtains. They peeked inside and saw a plump middle aged waitress serving a group of local-looking people family style. Must be a good place, they thought. Best of all, the aroma wafting from the window made their mouths water. <BR> <BR>Upon entering the Americans found themselves in a sweet little room that looked just like a regular kitchen. The waitress was apparently also the cook, and the cooking area was clearly visible from the dining space. The other patrons smiled shyly, and the waitress gave them a little respectful nod. Feeling embarrassed about their rusty Hebrew, they hesitated to ask where to sit and instead just settled into whatevere empty seats remained between the nice locals patronizing this cute little lunch spot. There were no menus. The waitress proceeded to serve them the same delicious home-style meal the others were eating. They enjoyed every bite, but requested a bit more bread to mop up the delicious juices. Finally satisfied after this memorable luch, they asked for the bill in their broken Hebrew. <BR> <BR>Bill? This was not a restaurant! It was a private home. The structure had previously been used as a restaurant, and the residential owners had never gotten around to removing the painted "restaurant" sign. No big rush -- after all, their fellow townspeople all KNEW it was just their house, not a restaurant. <BR> <BR>The above is my retelling of a true story told to me many years ago by the friends of the Americans who are the main characters in the story. <BR> cmt

Ty

While traveling 20 years ago with a friend in Rome, on our first European trip, we found ourselves staying at this very old and traditional hotel. When I stepped into the bathroom of our room I noticed the most unusual shaped urinal that I had ever seen. I did what I had to and left. Later my friend was in the the bathroom, and with the door ajar, I noticed that he was washing his feet in what I used as a urinal. We debated for hours about what the "thing" was. The next day, while walking around the Vatican, we bumped into a guy from New York selling postcards and, in conversation, asked if he knew whatthe "thing" was. In his strong NY accent he said "C'mon ya dumn Americans, that's a bidet. Jeeze" After he explained what and how it is used we were still puzzled and disturbed. We never went near the "thing" for the rest of the week. We both travel internationally for our jobs now and still laugh when we think of our first experience with that "thing".

Bob

One paragraph only? Wow! <BR> <BR>In the early 90s we were flying out of the Munich airport and I noticed a scale model for a new terminal. I noted to my wife that this would be nice when completed. All the details regarding the project were in German. A few years later we were again flying out of Munich. We were staying in the same hotel and I had the desk clerk tell me how to get to the autobahn to drive out to the airport. In the morning we took off with two hours to flight. When I arrived at the airport we had used the last time, it was closed. Seems like the "new terminal" was a brand new airport and a completely different location! We finally found the signage for the Flughafen and barely made our flight. Lesson learned: Don't assume anything in Europe. <BR> <BR>Then there was the time driving on the sidewalk...........sorry, one paragraph only.

Judy

Hello All, on our first and I think last cruise, we stopped at Pireaus the port for Athens and took the train into Athens proper. We, and another couple we were with, had been warned repeatedly about the pick pocket problem in Greece. My friend was very conscientious about her purse and belongings. We boarded the train and it was literally empty. Her husband sat across from her on the train. We sat across the aisle from them. At the next stop a few people boarded, and a rather scruffy young man, seeing a whole empty train, say down right next to my hyper vigilant friend! The look on her face was priceless! My husband and I were yukking it up... Needless to say, her husband received some withering looks from his wife. <BR>There was no theft problem after all, but what a strange and funny situation! <BR>Judy

s.fowler

Okay -- I'll *bite* on the driving on the sidewalk story... <BR> <BR>Mine is from Skopje, Macedonia. My friend, Ilija, was driving me someplace through the downtown. We ran into a street full of people -- they were protesting the loss of jobs at the bus-making factory. We needed to turn right just where they were marching so Ilija, the "ever-resourceful-balkan" [patent pending] hies us and his car up onto the sidewalk, weaves between two parking meters and lo and behold we have made our right turn! [Thank heavens for small cars!]That's when I stopped worrying about driving in Macedonia!

Topsy

Upsy.

Bob

Now about driving on the sidewalk..... <BR> <BR>My wife and I were in Rudesheim in a rented BMW looking for a place to park to vist the restaurants along the Drogglegasse (sp). I was cruising along slowly and thought I saw a place when I noticed all these Germans staring at me. Seems I was driving on the walking path that led down to where we were going. It was blocked by poles where I wanted to Exit. My wife was laughing too hard, the Germans were quite upset as they walked around me and I finally got out of there. Lesson learned: READ ALL THE SIGNS! <BR> <BR>Then there was the time at the Octoberfest and the Lowenbrau booth.................

Bobbie

In Paris we were standing on the sidewalk when an older gentleman and his small dog started to cross the street (in the crosswalk). As they went across a car came speeding down the street, almost hitting the old man. He began screaming at the driver and hitting the fender with his umbrella. As he continued to scream his insults, his little dog, almost as old as he was, began to bark at the driver. So, the careless driver was told off by both the man and his dog. While we could not understand the flow of French invectives from the old man, we sure understood the doggie talk! We still laugh about that scene of the old man and his little dog giving the driver hell!