T. Rowe

I leave in three weeks for Europe and it is my first trip. What should I try to see while I am there? Where is the best place to stay that is not too pricy and located close to everything? Any good advice on where to eat? How about getting around, what is best. bus or train? Will it be cold there? Should I take winter clothes? How about a hat? Will I be able to see the castles? Or will they be closed? How to I spend the time in the airplane on the flight over? Any good ideas?

xxx

you should take a hat

yyy

Dear T. Roll, <BR> <BR>Improve your typing skills. There seems to be a typo in your last name. <BR> <BR>

zzz

xxx: <BR>I beg to differ. T Rowe will find that nice brightly colored headscarfe is much more versatile than a hat

you

Everything is closed in Europe for the next six weeks <BR>Try to hold on while on the flight over, the wings get a bit windy over the ocean

Your Mother

Relax, honey. This really isn't so hard. There are a few tips we can all provide that should get you through. <BR> <BR>First, make sure you get a visa for every continent you'll visit. Some people think this means they should bring a credit card (Sheez!), but it really means you should present yourself at the local branch of the State department the day before your trip. When your number is called, march right up there and tell them you're here for your visa. No further details will be needed. <BR> <BR>Second, and I can't emphasize this enough, you'll want to yuk it up with airline security at the airport. They get so bored that they just love it when someone lays a few good quips on them. A few winks and a loud declaration about the plastic explosives in your luggage gets 'em every time. Make it good and you might get an upgrade. <BR> <BR>I'll keep the home fires burning for your return.

Dave

Mexico City is by far the best city in Europe. Be sure to learn a few words of Guacamole before you go, or at least purchase a pocket-sized Guacamole-English dictionary. I would also recommend exchanging your own currency for Doubloons BEFORE you go. <BR> <BR>Another great place to visit while in Europe is Buckingham Palace. As you will see by searching on this forum, visitors rave about the tour; many people consider the Buckingham Palace tour almost on par with Madame Toussaud's! One option most tourists don't realize is that it is possible to book accomodations at Buckingham. You can find all necessary details at www.flyingcircus.co.uk. Just be sure to tip the bellmen - they're the ones wearing those furry black hats and red uniforms. <BR> <BR>When visiting Germany, it is not necessary to wear clothes, winter or otherwise - just ask anyone who has visited a European beach crowded with German tourists. However, as xxx mentioned above, a hat is considered good form. Although I can't make any specific accomodation suggestions for German cities, they're very easy to find. Most advertise vacancies by displaying a red light in the window. <BR> <BR>I hope you enjoy your visit "Down Under" and find my tips as helpful as they were intended to be.

Moral Majority

Dave, how dare you steer our good friend T. Rowe to brothels in London! T. Rowe, listen to me. That Madame Toussad is a well-known lady of the night famous for her special hot wax pleasuring technique. You want no part of that, let me tell you. <BR> <BR>Not that I have any personal experience, of course.

snicker

ROTFL! If some of you people aren't writing comedy for a living, you've missed your calling.

Marilyn

I have tears in my eyes, rolling on the floor with laughter.

Louise

You guys are SOOOOO bad! Thanks for a good chuckle - I needed that.

Annie

<BR> <BR>Oh brother: <BR>Take a Hat???? I am aching from laughing? Thanks Gang!

Up

Are we done yet?

elvira

T: <BR>The best mode of transportation is the bus, especially on the Rhine River, or crossing the English Channel. It is the only way to get between the Greek islands. <BR>I would demand to be let into the American Embassy; threaten violence if you are refused entry. It is, after all, YOURS...you're paying for it with your hard-earned tax dollars. <BR>There isn't much to see in Europe, so after two weeks, come home. <BR>Spain has many inexpensive hotels; stay in one, then do day trips to the rest of Europe. <BR>Eat in restaurants; I cannot emphasize this enough. <BR>Take winter clothes no matter when you go; all of Europe is above the Arctic Circle. <BR>All the castles are open; if you want to visit Buckingham Palace, just go up and knock on the door and ask to be let in 'for just a quick look-see'. <BR>While on the plane, you can entertain yourself and other passengers by screaming "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE" then demand to see the pilot. Pretend you have a gun. <BR>

John

T, <BR>First, bulk up before your trip. It's cold in all of Europe like Elvira says, and all the hotels and "barn and breakfasts" (B&Bs) that people all seem to rave about, have space heaters that only work with 10-Rupee coins which you plug into the wall next to the "Magic Fingers" slot. (Ten Rupees is the equivalent of about 300 "Euros" which is the new name for "Zlotys" which is the local currency in Tibet, the little country next to Salvador.) So a little extra "padding" helps you stay warm, and as a bonus will help you blend in at all the hot springs, like Lourdes, which the Europeans so enjoy frolicking in, wearing almost nothing but their love handles, (or "poignees d'amour.") <BR> <BR>Once you've put on a little weight, you're ready to fly! In the plane, explore all the seat positions and amenities those nice people have provided coach passengers. Raise the arm up and down. Recline your seat (quicker is better) all the way and stretch out. Lights on, lights off. Light which goes "bong." Cool! Visit with your neighbors, try to help them stay awake for the whole flight so they won't be so jet-lagged. Have a drink, no, be a devil, have a few. Europe is very tolerant of drinkers, why, they even let their kids drink wine mixed with their formula! How weird is that? <BR> <BR>Before you know it, you'll be there, surrounded by the most interesting, well-dressed, friendly, cosmopolitan people you've ever met, and this is just the customs hall! Stop at the airport bank branch where you need to convert all your dollars into Bolivars, the universal currency of Europe, (named for the patron saint of tax collectors). Get your bags - don't forget the one that cute guy gave you outside the airport in America - and walk through the "nothing to declare" line real quickly. (Try to make eye contact with the cute dogs there - they love it!) Or if you have duty free perfume (wasn't that a great deal?) stop at the "goods to declare" counter and show the man your baggage contents, laughing when the "accessories" fall all over the floor. Slip him a few Pesos (the cool money from Germany with all the colored pictures of "bandidos" on the bills) and he'll speed up the inspection. Maybe you'll get to meet his friends, too. <BR> <BR>Next stop - taxi stand! <BR> <BR>To be continued… <BR>

lynlor

I think that the time has come for this to re-surface.

ucsun

make sure you ask, &quot;why they speak with such funny english accents?&quot;. or better yet &quot;who speaks american?&quot;.

chrisp

LOL, Sorry I can't improve on the advice you just received. Except to say try to sleep on the plane on the way over. Bring a camera.