A tape, computer program, CD or something. I must hear it and repeat it and see it. Just want to learn the basics. I KNOW NOTHING, except merci. Is there some plan you can recommend out there for me? Merci...

Just do a search through fodors -- I found a lot of sites that people suggested that provided an auditory tutorial. I don't remember which ones but they're all here if you look.

There's a great little phrasebook, "French at a Glance" that I bought that was VERY useful and easy to use -- organized by words/phrases to know for transportation, hotel, dining, etc. have fun!

Well, the "see it" part is missing here, but Pimsleur's collection of French cd's is working well for me (I bought it at Barnes and Noble). I would recommend a separate book for word spelling/recognition.

Check your television listings or go to the library and see if they have the "French in Action" video series - a truly excellent resource for seeing, hearing, and speaking.

I'm a visual learner; so I find that the French in Action series works best for me. It's available on line now.

Have a look at the online subscription for Rosetta Stone. Their programs are multi-sensory. Buying the full beginner course is very expensive, but you can subscribe for a 1, 3 or 6 months to levels 1 and 2 combined.

Supplement it with phrasebook from Rough Guides. They have a helpful introductory section that: (a) explains the basic grammar and structure of the language in simple terms; and (b) provides phonetic guidance on pronunciation. I find that it's almost impossible to learn a language from scratch, using various sources (like Rosetta Stone), without having access to a high-level but simple explanation of the grammar.

Your learning "type" really is important. . . Once I learn the basics of pronunciation, I am very visual and benefit a lot from seeing words in print. My husband, on the other hand, should never be allowed to read languages because they etch horrible pronunciations on his brain. If you can learn by listening, Pimsleur really is great because it's based on repetitive audio learning.