more for stupid people

not the sharpest knife in the drawer
thick as two short planks
a brick short of the wall
doesn't have two brain cells to rub together

Sod Off - and the best use of it was when my then 18 month old daughter rolled it out to some locals we met at a pub in Oxford. They were beside themselves with laughter.

<b>Hey you! Come back here with my pint!</b>

I just love it when they say that. Especially if they're all red in the face.

Just found this thread and reading them all brought back fond memories. The words &quot;bugger&quot; and &quot;bloody&quot; are really not meant to be rude - they are part of our lanugage. It's all in how you say it and to whom.

How about - &quot;Shirt Lifter&quot; for a homosexual and &quot;dogs bollocks&quot; for something/someone good.

annhig = &quot;dreckly&quot; in Cornwall means when a person has been asked to do a requested chore, he/she will do it soon - meaning &quot;directly&quot;

http://www.effingpot.com/index.shtml

;-)

My British mum who is now a sprightly 80 year old, says this little ditty upon seeing a very unattractive couple together: &quot;Well, they don't spoil another pair!&quot;
I love it!
Another favorite that absolute floored both her and I last week, read on a website for skiers in Andorra, referring to the meals there: &quot;Warm beer and dodgy butty's&quot;. That's the best!!! And for those of you most unfortunate to have not grown up with a British mum who served you bacon butty's every morning, a butty is a sandwich, one slice of bread, folded over. Go figure!

Some of these are a hoot. I was going to post &quot;sod&quot; but someone beat me to it. I LOVE that. What's funny though, is I have said some of these things my whole life because my grandmother, mom, and dad said them. I don't know where that came from since they are supposed to be primarily British terminology. My ancesters on my dad's side came over on the Mayflower or some such thing and settled in New England and my grandmother and dad were both born and raised in Maine, so I don't know. Maybe some of these sayings came over on the &quot;boats&quot; and stuck here. A fun thread.

And how about (aboot ?):

&quot;Lovaducks !&quot; (to express sudden joy)

&quot;You look like death warmed up&quot; (...looks awful).

Didn't have 2 cents to rub together (meaning very poor)

&quot;Has a face like the back end o' a bus&quot;

'Blimey' or 'crickey'

and favourite cockney slang :

A 'Titfer' = hat (as in tit for tat)

Nice pair of Bristols (as in Bristol city - figure it out)

Raspberries = farts (as in raspberry tarts)

Two that have already been cited:

(1) &quot;Brilliant&quot; - I always feel so much smarter in the UK than I do in the States!

(2) Wanker - my new favorite insult.

And &quot;a bit of,&quot; as in &quot;a bit of a spanking&quot; (from my all-time favorite episode of _Coupling_).

I sure have enjoyed this thread too! My father was raised in Australia so a lot of the sayings are familar to me and bring back great memories! Thanks londonengland.

see that use of the word &quot;sod&quot;. It's the same as &quot;buggar&quot;.

Also in common parlance and not nearly so rude.

But still rude. I wouldn't use it in front of my mum.

Just thought of a couple more, both courtesy of my friend who grew up in Derbyshire. Where an American would say &quot;odds and ends&quot;, she says &quot;bits and bobs&quot;.

Asked if she cared for a drink she said. &quot;Oh, I could absolutely murder a G and T.&quot;

I once called her on a Sunday afternoon and asked what she was doing. She replied that she had just finished reading the paper &quot;except for the hatches, matches, and dispatches.&quot; She had to explain that meant birth notices, weddings, and obituaries!

oily rag / coffin nail/ cancer stick - cigarette

e.g. pass us the coffin nail/ lets 'ave an oily rag then

squid - &pound;pounds (as in the usual slang term 'quid') e.g. 'that'll be 12 squids please'

pieboy - overweight man

pillowbiter/ bats for the other side - gay man

swinging it between Jack and Jill - bisexual

a fuse box short of a christmas tree / not the brightest bulb on the tree - stupid person

slapper - easily bedded woman
kappa slapper - as above but with the preponderence to wear cheap sportswear e.g. from Kappa

pramface - single mom

'he's mad. Madder than Mad Jack McMad, this years winner of Mr Madman competition' (oft quoted courtesy of a certain Mr Blackadder)

and interestingly some brands too:

Woollies - Woolworths
Marks and sparks - Marks and Spencer
Gay and proud - the GAP
Starf*cks - Starbucks
Maccy D's - McDonalds
Bugger King - Burger King

We say 'odds and ends' too, also 'odds and sods' (not rude at all, feel free to say it in front of your mother).

Phrase for an ugly couple from my mother-in-law 'for every bit of moudly bread there's a bit of rancid cheese'

rumpy-pumpy (sp?) and I am NOT explaining what it means. I burst into laughter the first time I heard it in context.

&quot;Hoovering&quot;...sweeping and I adore &quot;lovey &quot; too. Yanks...I love when they say the Yanks.

I think we're getting into &quot;family sayings&quot;. The father of a friend of mine always used to say &quot;Let's pierce with a pin..&quot;

You need the remember jam jars with very tightly-sealed lids and the instruction &quot;Pierce with a pin and push off&quot;.

Some I've heard in Glasgow

'Pick your window, you're leaving' (during an argument to be told to leave - quickly or else!)

'His erse (arse) was knitting buttons' (the man was frightened)

'Take a Settler!' (usually said to calm someone's anger (Settlers are tablets usually used to sooth indigestion)).

'He's got eyes like dugs baws' (dogs balls) - usually used to describe a guy after a hard night on the whisky.

J.

Sorry to argue, but &quot;Dreckly&quot; does not necessarily mean that the speaker is going to do it soon - or indeed ever. I have heard of builders [sorry to single them out but they are the most obvious example] who were coming &quot;dreckly&quot; and 7 years later were still awaited.
I have a Cornish-born friend who did not realise until relatively recently that it derived from &quot;directly&quot; at all.
2 of my warwickshire-born grandfather's sayings:
&quot;It's a bit black over bill's mother's.&quot; [a weather report in an area where every 2nd or third boy was called William]
&quot;Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs&quot; [to expresss surprise at something].
I am sure that those of you who live &quot;across the pond&quot; have some sayings that we would consider quaint, too.

This forum is so useful. I took my grandson to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest today; and near the beginning, with sailing ships and Red Coats galore, one of the pirates said things had gone pear shaped. Parachutes, anyone?

Also want to thank you for the definition of winkle pickers. I'm reading <i>Black Swan Green</i>, and a young man wears them. I didn't have a clue what they were.

Very educational, this thread.