Snoopy

Try this: Calculate the probability of someting dramatic happening, give it the attention it is due, then carry on.<BR><BR>There's an EXTREMELY low probability of anything dramatic happening on your flight. It is natural for you to feel a heightened sense of awareness unless you fly every day. I never take anything which &quot;takes the edge off&quot; and I rarely have more than a single glass of wine or a beer with dinner on overseas flights.<BR><BR>I would NEVER take ANYTHING including alcohol if I had my kids along with me. Even though the odds of intense drama are very, very low I would want to have my complete and clear faculties if anything should happen.<BR><BR>Those of you who mention taking tylenol in any form along with alcohol should be aware of the potential liver damage that can ensue.

Bree

Today's New York Times has an obituary for Lee Kreindler, a lawyer who is described in the obit as &quot;the founder of air disaster law, and whose law firm, Kreindler &amp; Kreindler, represented plaintiffs in almost every major aircraft disaster in the last half-century&quot; -- in other words, a man who spent his entire working life dealing with the consequences of plane crashes, and who probably knew more about what can go wrong with an airplane than all but a handful of people.<BR><BR>The obituary closes with these words:<BR><BR>&quot;Mr. Kreindler flew a great deal, and it bothered him not at all.<BR><BR>&quot;I'm a very relaxed passenger,&quot; he said. &quot;It's extremely safe. An accident only happens when there is an extraordinary coincidence of a number of things going wrong.&quot;&quot;<BR>

nocinonut

When I fly, I used to think &quot;it is up to the fates now&quot; as we took off, so I would relax. <BR>Then after 9/11 I thought &quot;it is up to the fates, but I will intervene if I have to&quot;, and didn't relax as much.<BR><BR>Still it is up to fate whatever happens on a plane, so just relax. I think if something is going to happen, it will. I don't know if that makes me a fatalist, maybe.

Jakester

As a counselor, I have frequently been called upon to hypnotize people. From my experiences with others this has been very successful. Although not being anxious about flying, I do plan on taking Ambion to help me sleep. Reports are it has you waking up feeling fresh as a daisy.

Jaimekay

I agree with the Xanex recommendations. In the past, I've tried alcohol and I've tried Valium, but neither seemed to work as well as Xanex. Frankly, the Valium didn't seem to affect me at all - I think I'm immune! If you decide to go with mediation, I strongly suggest trying it out ahead of time, just to make sure it works okay for you - no surprises enroute.<BR><BR>I always bring a puzzle book &amp; try to lose myself in a puzzle as I wait to takeoff - I've found that this distracts me enough so my nervousness doesn't escalate too bad during the wait. The anticipation is always the worst for me...<BR><BR>Then, when we begin to taxi, I close my eyes and try to relax my body and breath slowly (no clutching the armrest - I've read that that can increase the nervous reaction). I pray a bit till we're fully up, then I return to my puzzle till I calm down completely. At that point, I'm usually fine for the rest of the trip - unless we hit serious turbulance. And if that happens, I generally pop another Xanex - but then again, I don't travel with children, so alertness isn't a high priority for me in the event of a bumpy flight.

emjoy

You've been told all the statistics (like, in order for the car crash victims to equal plan crash victims for a single year, a fully loaded 747 would have to crash every 4 hours), but you can't keep yourself from irrationally feeling the agony of escalating fear. If there's one word that comes across in the majority of these posts it's Xanax.<BR>Xanax removes the physical response to the fear; the escalating heart rate, the pounding in your head, the shallow breathing. I've never actually been calm enough to sleep on a transatlantic flight, but on my last trip a month ago, I found that .5mg of Xanax helped the physical reaction, and listening to the channel with the air traffic controllers and pilots communicating (which is the only way to hear something other than the roar of the engine during take off and landing) is a great way to relax your mental fears about every little bump. Instead of watching the flight attendants faces to see if they look worried, I can hear the pilots telling the tower there is bumpy air at 26K and know that the tower told them to go to 28K before I feel the plane climb...very reassuring to hear how boring and normal it all is for them. Depending on your childrens ages, they might like to listen along too for a while.<BR>I also started watching the global positioning maps while listening-and I this from a woman who won't ever take a window seat because I'm too terified to admit I'm on a plane.

flygirl

hit the ground drinking! ok maybe don't hit the ground, literally.<BR><BR>I love flying so I can't be of much help. I usually start reading something right away or fall asleep before we even take off. Unless I am on Virgin in which case once the games are up I start playing. My favorite was Super Tetris until they got rid of it for some bizarre reason.

Cassandra

I'm astonished by all the recommendations for Xanax. I've used it myself along the way, but if you have kids, you may not want to be quite that &quot;mellow.&quot; Also, you may want to try the Xanax a week or so before the flight to get a good idea of how it affects you, how long it takes to &quot;kick in,&quot; what happens when it wears off (it gives me a pretty good headache when it wears off and is constipating, which is why I only use it very sparingly).<BR><BR>Here are some things that have helped me, a jittery flyer even before 9/11. <BR><BR>1. Knowing that I will probably have &quot;waves&quot; of panic, and one will come a few days before the flight, one will come the morning of the flight, and it's possible one will come right after take-off. Just let those &quot;waves&quot; wash over you, or use whatever &quot;crutches&quot; you want to get past them -- prayer, Xanax, self-hypnosis, square-breathing*, or whatever.<BR><BR>2. Remember that kids are really intuitive and you don't want to model nervousness for them. I got over a major flying phobia because I wanted to take my son to see his grandmother and did not want him to see and &quot;catch&quot; my fears. Helps to have to be positive for someone else.<BR><BR>3. Take comedy tapes. And/or your favorite music -- either sooooothing New Age-y stuff or R&amp;R classics that take you back to high school or whatever. Blocking out the noise of the plane (a little, unless you're lucky enough to have Bose headset) and letting yourself &quot;go somewhere else&quot; in your head helps a LOT.<BR><BR>I think you'll find that once they start serving drinks/meal on the flight, you'll be over your jitters.<BR><BR>Good luck. I have 2 long-distance trips coming up, and let's see if I can stick to my own recommendations!

Cassandra

*Forgot to add definition of square breathing: relax. Count to 4 as you slowly inhale deeply; count to 4 while you hold the breath; count to 4 as you exhale slowly; count to 4 before you start again. (Thanks Dr. Joy)

ladyfirefly

I like to hear the engines roar, that way I know they are still working, lol. But I do listen to music CD's, can you still bring a CD player on board?<BR><BR>I also pray, think how grateful I am that so many intelligent people are envolved in the engineering and flying of planes, thank the Wright Bros for keeping the faith, anything to keep my mind busy. <BR><BR>If it gets really bumpy or, like Cassendra, I get a wave of panic I try to remember passages from the Bible that pertain to flight (one's with good endings).<BR><BR>

Kristy

How old are your kids? Are you on an overnight flight? Chances are the kids will be sleeping, so you don't need to be totally alert.<BR><BR> I just spoke with my doctor (all these posts got me motivated to call for a prescription of something- besides just drinking which works great short term...but after, ugh!) for our trip to Paris next week. He prescibed .25 (mg?) of Xanax, and said take one about 1/2 hour before takeoff, and another if needed (turbulence for me!) <BR>Ambien was another med I was interested in, but that is really a pure sleep aid. Xanax just relaxs you so much you are able to sleep.<BR><BR>Hope that helps!

flygirl

this may help - in 2002, on US carriers (I am not sure about European ones, or elsewhere) there was not one single fatality. Pretty good record for one year!

angelnot1

I so feel for you-I hate air travel! last year we flew around the world from Sydney with three kids - imagine all the landings and takeoffs as well as very long flight from Australia.<BR><BR>I do all the relaation techniques and I also take 1 tablet of Ativan about 20 minutes before take off. It doesnt have the side effects of valium. My doctor tells me it is used for for patients about to undertake chemotherapy.<BR><BR>I also would like to say &quot;go natural&quot; but I do not thing an occasional tablet is going to hurt.

Lola

Cassandra,<BR>Thanks for the square breathing tips I am doing it now and I feel better already!<BR>and I do like ladyfirefly's prayer Thanking the Wright Brothers

andy

I personally pop a 10 mg Valium about 1/2 hr before take-off and sleep thru the take-off-- Awake while the plane is flying and very calm---<BR><BR>Works for me--been doing it for years=<BR>Xanax is known for giving memory loss--then again, with kids along, that may not be a bad thing! LOL

Merseyheart

I agree with the earlier posters who suggested music. That always calms me down. Unfortunately, you can't play CD/tape players now during takeoff and landing, but you can play them the rest of the time. I always take a collection of my favorite tapes (things I've taped from CD, so every cut sounds good to me), close my eyes and rest that way. I have a hard time sleeping on a plane, and I can't seem to concentrate enough to read. Music accompanies me whenever I travel.

granny

I say a prayer going up and coming down.Bring a couple books and have a drink. All you people taking medication and sleeping sounds great, but I'm afraid to do so. Maybe I should pray for sleep.

cruelbee

This is all very interesting, but it makes me wonder why I never spot all of you nervous fliers. When I get an attack of nerves on the plane I look around for solace and you are all asleep or reading very calmly. Now I read you are all nervous as well, you must all be drugged, lol.<BR>Anyway, I am glad I am not the only nervous nellie.

hanl

I agree with Hiroshi - the fearofflyinghelp.com site is the absolute *best* site for nervous flyers. The information is informative and easy to digest, and if you follow the course (free) carefully, the whole flying phobia really gets put into perspective. I used to freak out on planes (hyperventilation, oxygen masks ...!!!) and after I read all the info on the site and tried the relaxation exercises, I'm fine when I fly (just returned from a 10 hour long haul, no problems at all!!). <BR>Also, all these recommendations for Xanax are a little worrying (I have taken it before myself and hated the effect). What if something did go wrong on a flight? Would you really want to be completely zombied out? <BR>I believe it's far better to attack the root of the fear by overcoming the psychological causes than relying on artificial (and highly addictive) drugs to treat the symptoms.

jane00

Hey, thanks for all the excellent advice. I plan to check out the fear of flying website immediately and get ahold of my doctor for a little something (in case I need it). Its good to know others feel the same, but I agree, when looking around, it seems everyone else is comfortable, cool and collected! Go figure. Jane00