Chris

Robin -- Not too cynical for me! <BR> <BR>What I don't think a lot of people realize, is that it TRULY is scripted in some of the companies in the service industries! There ARE handbooks that say you HAVE to ask certain questions and respond certain ways when you greet people, when they are irate, etc. And you're also told what NOT to say/ask/etc. <BR> <BR>The job I had scripted everything. I, being cynical, refused -- it sounded SOOOO contrived -- and my boss was amazed that my "ad-libbing" worked better than the script (but I still got in trouble for not using the script.) And my job wasn't to call you at mealtime ;-) It was insurance claims -- and after an accident, I genuinely did want to know how someone was doing -- it changed the way I approached the person and how I gave them information (all at once, bit by bit, trying to find out at what point it becomes too overwhelming, etc.) Which is why I didn't use a script -- with that you're just waiting to ask the next question, not LISTENING for the answer). And I never believed them if they said "fine" -- everyone's fine until they understand that their car is a twisted hunk of metal!! <BR> <BR>But in the grocery store? You bet I really don't care how the check out clerk is doing. Just as they don't really care when they ask me, I don't care when I ask them. It's just an exchange. But I don't ask if they're eyes are puffy from crying and they're honking into a hanky. =:0 <BR> <BR>But I do agree -- the better you know someone, the more likely the "how are you doing" is sincere. <BR> <BR>Nancy -- I've responded "not so great" and still gotten the same fake smile and the "have a nice day". Sometimes it's fun just to play, "how many times do I have to say "not so great" before someone actually notices? <BR> <BR>Ursula -- I think it takes different forms. I've not been asked in Europe how I'm doing (except by people who know me), but "have a nice day" is to be counted on!

Joanne

Ursula and Others: <BR> <BR>"How are you?" This would make an interesting thread on its own. I guess being American I never thought much about the question, How are you? Sometimes I say fine or good, and you. Once in a while I say, "So far so good." That usually gets a smile or laugh from the questioner. But now that I think about it, unless you give the stock response, "fine", it seems to blow the mind of the other person. Apparently it is a "scripted" response as noted above, because if you vary from the "script" the reactions are sometimes priceless. <BR> <BR>There are other common phrases that come to mind. When leaving work a co-worker would say, "See you tomorrow." I once responded, "Yeah, God and the freeway willing." Again, when you don't answer as expected it seems to disturb the continuity expected. <BR> <BR>In any case Ursula, respond as you wish. It might be fun! <BR> <BR>Joanne

Ursula

Joanne: Thanks so much! <BR> <BR>.. but I do not want to be fun ;-) and above all, I do not want to behave like a (stupid) tourist.. <BR>Just kidding. <BR> <BR>Oh yes, and I was most amazed that staff packs your buys in grocery stores. Here, no help, but better bags to carry all the goodies home.

Book Chick

Ursula, <BR>Feel free to have fun & be a tourist! (Not mutually exclusive! ;0) <BR> <BR>I had an experience here when I was trying to bag some of my own groceries. Apparently the staff of the store I was shopping in was unionized (and I do live in a union-intense part of the United States) and I was politely asked to stop, as my assistance, though unsolicited by the store or any of its employees, was a violation of their union contract! <BR> <BR>(And I agree--quality of bags is better in Europe & you can recycle them forever!) <BR>BC

clairoobscur

Actually, this "how do you do" thing exists also in France. But it's not as universal. You have to know the person a little bit (your butcher, neighbor, a work collegue, etc...). The expected answer is "fine, and you?" here also. However, it's not absolutely scripted, and some deviation is allowed. <BR> <BR>I never "got" it. I always more or less answered as if the question was sincere. Only very late I understood that some people could consider a sincere answer as embarrassing and out of place, when I had an argument with a friend of mine who said it was *impolite* to answer the truth (even a mere "not that great"). <BR> <BR>Still, since I find this "scripted" question silly, I refused to comply. <BR> <BR>And only 5 minutes ago,suddenly, while reading this thread, I understood *why* I have never been able to get it. I've been brought up in a really tiny village in southern france, where everybody knew everybody, and where this question wasn't an automatism, but a conversation starter. The relation never struck me before. <BR> <BR>I guess that if I've been brought up in Paris, it would be natural for me to answer "fine, and you?" The habbit you take during childhood are deply rooted and influence your behavior even when you don't realize it....

YS

I'm sorry I've brought up the "how are you" thing <BR>English is not my first language, and at school we've been always taught of a "proper" way to reply to "How are you". Something like this would be in order: <BR> - Hi, how are you? <BR> - Fine, thanks. And you? <BR> - Fine thank you. <BR> <BR>My personal experience was anything but this. Often people greet each other passing buy, so there's no time for the second dialog. I was in the situation a few times ansering "good, how are you?" where another person have passed me by already and I felt I had to turn around and listen what s/he has to say. I've also witnessed the following: <BR> - How are you? <BR> - Not so good. <BR> - Great! <BR>This is just odd... Now I just always say "fine" or just ignore the question. I also have point out a few other questions like thins: <BR> - How are you doing? <BR> - What's up? (or, rather whazzup!) <BR> - How do you do? (this is the oddest!) <BR> - How are things? <BR> <BR>To be fare, it would also be in order to mention some other languages. In French, it's "comment allez vous" literarlt translates to "how are you going". Well, I wouldn't expect people explainging in details the nuances of their leg movements <BR>In Russian, "Kak dela" ("how are things") DOES start a conversaion. You ARE expected to answer, and if you answer something like "could be better", you will be asked "what's wrong" and at least 5 minute conversation will follow. The question would NOT be asked by a total stranger or if you are just greeting someone in the hallway.

Marc David Miller

Much of what I learned on foreign trips I already read, but did not fully understand or appreciate until I walked on the ground or saw the actual sights described in my readings. Some examples: <BR> <BR>1. The influence that Germans had in eastern Europe for centuries--even though I knew that Estonia was Russian, but controlled by German merchants, I could not understand how until I was in Tallinn and visited museums of history. Also in Prague--remember that Mozart spent much of his life there, as did Kafka, and both worked in German. <BR> <BR>2. The diversity of nationalities within Russia--at first glance Russia seems to be extraordinarily white and blond, but after traveling a bit in the countryside I discovered that there are Mongolians, dark hair Russians, and others. <BR> <BR>3. Many, many facts from art history studies only became true to me when I was looking at specific works of art and discussing an obscure point. <BR> <BR>I am always a challenge for tour guides (I generally hire private ones, or go on very small tours) because I know the basic facts about a particular location, but rely on the guide to point out exact details, or clarify issues that confuse me.

Art

Try this after someone asks you "How are you", respond "I was better but I got over it" This always raises an eyebrau.

rudy

I was startled to find that Muslims, Jews, and Christians coexist in relative harmony in Jerusalem shops, restaurants, and on the streets, particularly in the Old City. I had expected to feel fear for my safety, and to experience bitter tension. People were killing each other on the West Bank, but in Jerusalem, it was life as usual. <BR> <BR>Re the "How are you?" discussion: the worst example I've ever had that people don't really want to know how you are occurred in the hospital at my dying parent's bedside. Doctor: "How are you?" Parent: "Terrible." Doctor: "Good, good."

American

Here are some things I understood only after a year of travelling and living in Europe. <BR> <BR>1. There is prostitution outside of Los Angeles. <BR> <BR>2. Europeans rely very heavily on their perception of Americans from television, especially 90210. I was quite disheartened by this. <BR> <BR>3. Europeans expect Americans speak English only. For example, my travelling companion and I are blonde and blue-eyed, however we converse naturally in Spanish. This shocked most people in England and France, although Spaniards assume we would prefer their language to English. <BR> <BR>3. Africans in Italy, Latin Americans in Spain and Asians in France would prefer to live the US. I heard this again and again and again from immigrants I chatted with. <BR> <BR>4. There is no breakfast in Spain, France, or Italy. Coffee and bread is not breakfast. <BR> <BR>5. There are many many big fancy new expensive German cars in rural Sicily. It was a few days before I understood why. <BR> <BR>6. Although universities are ostensibly free in some European countries, there are barriers to attending. I still can't figure out why. <BR> <BR>7. Cars are really really small in European cities, but it makes sense because streets are tiny too. <BR> <BR>8. Stonehenge is really weird. <BR> <BR>9. I will never 'get' soccer. <BR> <BR>10. Finally, and most controversially, Europeans seem to prefer to blame the US for the decisions their own leaders make, without demanding their leaders represent them without bowing to American interests. (like Kyoto, or the Gulf War.)

Randy

I was also impressed in the size of the Eiffel Tower along with the Arc de Triomphe, Notre Dame and Versailles. <BR> <BR>The pleasant sound of the word "merci". <BR> <BR>The hospitality in the homes of my French friends. <BR> <BR>The Beautiful gardens: Versailles, Luxemborg, Tuileries, etc. <BR> <BR>The great bread, wine and cheese. <BR> <BR>They eat every part of the cow or pig. <BR> <BR>Exceptional seafood. <BR> <BR>And, we don't have anything old in the US, and when it starts to get old, we knock it over and build new. <BR> <BR>How really great the French were to me when I had a problem. <BR> <BR>There are pickpockets in Paris. <BR> <BR>The best French Fries in the world are in France. McDonalds and Burger King, please take note. <BR> <BR>

Blaine

Things i didn't "get"... <BR> <BR>1)Paris skyline so low and beautiful <BR> <BR>2)Eiffel Tower not only very large but delicate-looking - like lace <BR> <BR>3)Louvre HUGE and Mona Lisa SMALL <BR> <BR>4)It doesn't always rain in England, and it can get hot - and not all hotels have air-conditioning <BR> <BR>5)How wonderful really good train systems are and how disgusted I am that the U.S. does not have them (I know, I lnow, there are some in a few places) <BR> <BR>6)How tall the males are in Netherlands <BR> <BR>7)How absolutely clean, neat & tidy most of Europe is

Leilani

Clairoobscur, <BR>You were right when you said that childhood habits influence our adult responses. When I was a child, I was taught to answer the question "How are you?" with "Fine, thanks." Period. I never knew that in other parts of the U.S. there's more to the greeting ritual... until I had a conversation with my husband's uncle. "How are you?" he asked. "Fine, thanks," I replied. There was a long pause, and then he said, "Don't you care how I am?" <BR> <BR>Things I didn't realize (duhhhhh) until I got there: <BR> <BR>In the U.K., you have to look right, then left, when crossing the street, or you get squashed. <BR> <BR>Deserts are cold at night. <BR> <BR>Americans, Canadians, Britons, Aussies, Kiwis, and South Africans all speak English, but it's not necessarily the same language. <BR> <BR>London is a diverse city. For some reason, I had expected to see streets full of white Englishmen with briefcases, brollies, and bowler hats, so I was completely blown away by how many different cultures and ethnic groups were represented. <BR> <BR>Ireland is green because it rains a lot. <BR> <BR>

Janine

That there was actually countryside in Japan and in England. <BR>Although I knew there were mountains in Japan, given the size of the population compared to the area of land, I never really thought of there actually being trees!! It turns out there are some beautiful forested areas, snow-capped mountains and even farms with animals (although many city-dwelling children have never seen them). <BR>As for England, I wrongly assumed the North was an industrial wasteland. I had heard of the Lake District, but thought it would be just pretty by local standards. Wrong again! I thought the wild, wind-swept moors of Yorkshire died out with the Brontes, but found them alive and well.

Anna

On the How Are You? subject someone above says "unless you give the stock response, "fine", it seems to blow the mind of the other person." I've watched waitresses or clerk's expressions for 17 years when my husband or mother-in-law go one and on and on and on (etc) about *exactly* how they are in great detail (usually lots of negative detail)which covers the whole time the clerk is ringing up the sale or groceries and often far beyond that. The expression is; first surprise or amusement....then they look at MIL or husband as if they dropped to earth from a far off planet and then they switch to a zombie like glazed look that continues until the very long, bleak monolog finally ends. And no, MIL nor husband never seem to notice the expression on the clerk's face. If I can BTW as soon as the unsuspecting clerk asks "how are you" I clear out of there and start looking at magazines or whatever so I don't have to witness the whole saga.

Micki

My only experience outside the US was Scotland in May. Here's some things that were surprising to me. <BR> <BR>1. How truly helpful and kind the Scottish people are. <BR>2. The magnificence of the view of "Old Town" Edinburgh from Princess Street. I couldn't get enough of the view of Edinburgh Castle. <BR>3. The fewer amount of fat people there versus the US. <BR>4. How much more walking you do there. Probably part of the reason for #3. <BR>5. How different the food was. I craved a hamburger. We passed a T.G.I.F. and I thought this place should have a good hamburger, right? So we went in and I ordered a hamburger. I asked for the mustard. No mustard. Even without the mustard it didn't taste like any hamburger I'd ever had. At the Witchery in Edinburgh I ordered a Caesar Salad. It was so gross, I think they put mayonnaise on it -ugh. On the flip side, the pastries were yummy, fish excellent, beer soooo good, coffee strong, great wines. <BR>6. How small and cozy the pubs are. I loved the pubs. <BR>7. Not being able to understand everything that people said because of their accents. The Scots have one of the prettiest accents and it's especially pretty coming from the little children. <BR>8. The greenest green fields I've ever seen. <BR>9. The amount of sheep everywhere. It was so sweet to watch the little lambs hop about. <BR>10. The rugged beauty of the Highlands, the Lochs, and the Quiraing mountains on Skye. <BR>11. How I would feel when standing among the ruins of an abbey or castle or a battleground. There is so much history and atmosphere there. It's haunting, eerie, mystical, meloncoholy, and very moving. <BR>12. How early the sun comes up, how late it sets and the long beautiful twilights. <BR>13. How different everything is and yet how at home I felt. <BR>14. How sad I would be to leave and how much I miss it now.

Laura

Being able to TOUCH history in Europe - especially in Rome(in the US, it would be behind glass or poles with ropes) <BR>Walking on history in Westminster Abbey <BR>The lava flows and looking in the coldera in Hawaii <BR>Gelato

mimi taylor

My visiting friends can't understand the waiters he introducing themselves by name. It reminds me of one of the funniest episodes on BBC of Are You Being Served? Young Mr. Grace decides the staff should introduce themselves like the Americans.

YS

In Tahiti tipping is not part of the culture and not expected.

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