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We'll Always Have Holiday in Paris....A Continuing Journal

We'll Always Have Holiday in Paris....A Continuing Journal

Old Dec 24th, 2004, 09:26 AM
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Marvelous report!

Sir, if you were to come to my place, you would not have to stand outside with your nose pressed to the glass. A man of such intrepid spirit would be warmly welcomed inside.

Of course, considering the chaos that is Christmas morning around here, you may choose to RUN back outside!

But I would hasten after you with soothing words and a cup of something hot. We could find someplace quiet and warm, perhaps sit crosslegged atop the running clothes dryer in the laundry room, and you could tell me more tales of curious travel.
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Old Dec 24th, 2004, 11:08 AM
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Dear Croque,
An excellent holiday invite. I will take you up when it comes to Arbor Day. I have nothing to do during Arbor Day and nobody invites me. Christmas, I can handle but Arbor Day saddens me,

Happy Holiday
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Old Dec 24th, 2004, 07:22 PM
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Joyeux noël Mon Pere! Hopefully Croque Madame is treating you right!
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Old Dec 24th, 2004, 08:36 PM
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Yeadonite... How come you did not get an invitation to Paris?

Happy Holidays to Father and Daughter!
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Old Dec 25th, 2004, 03:53 AM
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Joyeux Noel, oncle Art.
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Old Dec 25th, 2004, 07:30 AM
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I have just returned from a joyeaux dinner which was marred by the fact my nose was frozen to the restuarants window. Joyeaux Noel to all you wonderful fodorites,
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Old Dec 25th, 2004, 09:58 PM
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Hiya Gang:

Some minor and short (Do I her sighs of relief?) vignettes.

I was detraining at the station Place des Fetes (There are no festes at that Place) and as I am walking down the platfrom I see a gaggle of drunks, one with a bandaged leg, two or three hovering over him either singing or yelling, With drunks it is hard to tell the difference,

One of them sees me, glares at me and approaches me. He is shorter than me but bulky built like a squareback, and shouting for money. He pushes his hand, fingers like canape hot dogs, right under my face.The rght side of his face was dark purple, I couldnt tell if it was a birthmark or someone beat the hell out of him,if so, it wasnt me.

I was frightened, and in my fear,. I turned to him,and as haughty as I can get, I yell in his face "I dont speak English!!! I realize how stupid that was, but he just stared at me as I walked away feeling pretty brave .

On the metro there is a continuous sign with all the stops then every once in a while a sign comes on in French about pickpockets. Whenever I see those watch your money signs, I always pat my pocket, the one where the money is not!

So, far I only went twice to a fast food place. The first was in Bellville, It was morning and I wanted un cup of cafe, but each place I looked I saw mostly men, and they looked foreign and dangerous to me. It was that and the place was filled with smoke, either tobacco or pot.

I saw a Mcdonalds at the corner of a busy intersection, I went up the stairs and inside. There was no smoke and no dangerous looking men. I got my coffee sat down and a dangerous looking woman came up to me and said something which I took for give me some money or your life,
I gave her fifty cents and counted my blessings. I wonder though if it would have hapened at Wendies.

My second experience was difference. I needed a quick snack and went into a McDonalds look alike. (Notice I always have an excuse for going to fast food places. You'll never hear me say oh I needed some balllottine de volaille and I popped into a five star restaurant)

I got my sandwich and opened my journal and found I forgotten my pencil, so I went over to woman who served and asked I could borrow one. She spoke excellent English and gave it to me and as she did, she broke out into a wide smile, laughed, and went around the counter. She greeted a young girl, hugged her twice, and gave her a cheek French kiss. An elderly man came running out to the kitchen and did the same, followed by a young cook, looking angry and order the young lady out of the restaurant. I was bothered until he embraced her and, obviously, was joking.

I did not think from the beginning she was a relative since she was either African or Indian, the others were Oriental except for the young chef who had a Grecian nose and looked Greek,
I thought, hey, this would never happen at McDonalds. This place was on the main avenue and not a mom and pop store but part of a franchise,

I went to Parc Des Buttes Chaumont, a huge park built by Napolean modeled after London"s
Hyde Park which he saw while in exile. Well, I know now that he hadnt seen Central Park while in exile.

The first day I went to see it, it was closed on account of "the storm" What storm! I was standing outside in a light rain, hell, I didnt use my umbrella and they close down the place!
Central Park never closes!!!

Another day, checking the weather, it was as good as it gets, so I went there. Viola, it was open. I walked through it, up and down hills, and as I walked, I kept comparing it to Central Park.

"Oh there are joggers, Gee, they look just like the joggers in Central Park. There, see, they look so serious, so determned. Wearing ear phones. Feeling so healthy. Hmmmm"

" Oh look people with dogs and they have those retractalbe leashes just like in,,,,"

" Ohmygawd, they are cleaning up after their dogs,probably get fined if they don't, but I dont see any police!"

" There, see, an old guy sitting on a benchm, not doing anything, Hmm just like in Central Park."

" Pigeons. The old guy feeding them. One jumps on his knee, he grabs it, twists its neck and puts in a shopping bag"

" What the hell am I doing here. It's just like central park"

As i began to leave, of course, I lost my way (just like Central Park) I saw a man cleaning up the leaves. He had no uniform, was crippled, and had trouble handling the broom. I stopped and in my best way, indicated I was lost, needed to find the metro, he said Bolivar station, i said no, he then said Botaris, Yes, yes, I said and he pointed the way out of the park.

Well, not exactly like Central Park.

I lost one of my 99 cent eyeglass, and I went into an optician to get an eyeglass laces. The young got me one after my trying to describe it to him. He asked "Englais" No I said "Americaine"
"Oh" he said with a smirk, "Bush et Keereee!" I thanked him and walked out. I wasnt about to get into politics with a guy selling me eyeglass laces.

TRAVELLING TIPS

DO NOT GOT INTO A CHURCH ON CHRISTMAS EVE AND ASK A PRIEST DRESSED IN A BROCADED ROBE WHERE IS THE MERIDIAN LINE YOU READ ABOUT IN A POPULAR MYSTERY NOVEL WHICH TEN MILLION OTHER AMERICANS HAVE READ. HE'S GETTING READY FOR THE BIG CHRISTMAS MASS, AND QUICKLY PUTS A CURSE ON YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN, AND YOUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN.
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Old Dec 25th, 2004, 10:23 PM
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>I yell in his face "I dont speak English!!! <

It worked for me, too, when I was accosted by a drunk in London.

"Gimme some money".

"No Ingles".

He stared at me, then shouted, "Yes you do speak English".

"No, I don't".

He was so drunk that he just mumbled something about foreigners and walked away.

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Old Dec 26th, 2004, 08:38 AM
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Ira, we have a good thing going. We'll publish a book the linguistics onhow to avoid being mugged.
Did you say it deliberatly or, like me, quite accidentally?
I didnt realize what I had said until after some time and I doubt I would do it again....or would I?
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Old Dec 26th, 2004, 09:32 AM
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Uncle Art: this is just too much fun. I am just now finding the time to read your reports and am really loving it. I hope you didn't pull any skin off your nose pulling it away from the frozen window. Tell us more.
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Old Dec 26th, 2004, 10:28 AM
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Famousuncleart: The incident at the station must have been frightening and Ira your story didn't help because I am sitting here laughing my head off.

This is a wonderful thread to read.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

Sandy
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Old Dec 26th, 2004, 11:32 AM
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>Did you say it deliberatly or, like me, quite accidentally?<

The first line was deliberate.
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Old Dec 26th, 2004, 11:42 AM
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Napoleon saw Hyde Park while in exile? Wow, you do indeed learn something new everyday!
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Old Dec 26th, 2004, 12:59 PM
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hiya Ira

As you know by now clarity is not my forte. I meant that I blurted out "I DO NOT SPEAK ENGLISH" when i really meant to say I do not speak French. I was so hassled and annoyed to say nothing of being mugged in Paris when I have never even come close to it in NYC for over decades.
I got the sense that you meant to say what you did say, etc.
Sorry about the confusion!

Veddette, I got the information from the hand out about the park. I didnt realize that Napolean spent time in London. It's probably where he posed with his hand inside his jacket. Its so British, gesturing is not a Brit thing but a Corisican..you can get killed by the flying fingernails.
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Old Dec 26th, 2004, 03:31 PM
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Okay Oncle Art, I was sort of pulling your leg. Napoleon Bonaparte never went to London while in exile. What the heck kind of exile would that be? The only way he was going to get to England was to conquer it. It was Napoleon III who built the park in the mid 1800s. He probably did go to London.
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Old Dec 26th, 2004, 03:54 PM
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Treesa,
Only my Dad can say why I was not invitied, he keeps saying because their was only one bedroom but he has slept on the couch before ! Instead of Paris (one of my favorite cities) I am in Delaware then off to DC!

vedette,
Please feel free to pull what ever you want!

crefloors,
I know I am biased because he is my Dad but read some of his other journals or his pictorials:
http://community.webshots.com/user/actorz



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Old Dec 26th, 2004, 04:02 PM
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oops thanks, I owe you a dette, i got my Napoleans mixed up, even in restaurants, they keep saying its Napolitain, not Napolean!

And you can keep pulling my leg at anytime, Vedette!
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Old Dec 26th, 2004, 04:18 PM
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Old Dec 27th, 2004, 07:26 AM
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Eyeglass "laces" is a new one to me mon oncle! 8-)
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Old Dec 27th, 2004, 07:38 AM
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"I always have an excuse for going to fast food places"

fyi, French fast food is crepes! Try it, you'll like it. I found this listing on fast food places for you

http://www.atkielski.com/inlink.php?/main/ParisFAQ.html
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