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Oh how wonderful your travels are. I am passionate about Italy, and this report and is truly the best.
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<b> DAY 6 – DEATH OF A RENTAL CAR </b>
Looking back, the day did have an ominous beginning. I woke about 3 am to a thundering rain. That wouldn’t have been bad if I hadn’t left my shoes out on the patio to air out after finding I had stepped in some dog pooh the day before. I dumped out the water and brought the shoes in to dry. Then, at breakfast, Tracy and I saw Kim and Mary, neither one of them feeling well. Mary had been under the weather since we arrived (Thank God for that Airborne Cold Remedy I had been taking religiously for the past week), but Kim was now looking a little ill. He hadn’t gotten much sleep due an upset stomach. Fortunately, I thought, he can get some sleep in the car, because we were headed for Gubbio, and then a 2 ½ - 3 hour drive to St. Quirico d’Orcia (or so we thought), where we would spend the next four nights. We bade farewell to the Palazzo Bocci. As mentioned, it was a great hotel and Spello made a terrific Umbrian base. The phrase, “All roads lead to Spello” became our mantra because of its central locale in the region. The drive to Gubbio, which some have called the most beautiful medieval town in Umbria (although it sounds like a long, lost Marx Brother to me), took about an hour and was very scenic. It was a hilly road with many twists and turns, but luckily it didn’t affect Kim’s stomach in a negative way. We knew we needed gas, but decided to get it on the way out of town. We parked outside of town. Besides seeing what this town looked like, the main attraction we were looking for was a rickety funicular that would take us to the top of Monte Ingino. We had dubbed it the Bucket of Bolts from a report that said, "It holds two people, and gives ample time to admire the view and to study your cage's welding and bolts, which are all that lie between you and oblivion." Kim, bad stomach and all, and Tracy were very much looking forward to this death-defying contraption, not only because they enjoyed these kind of things, but also that they know I am a tad frightened by them. Having a fear of heights (and greater fear of death), at least I was comforted by the fact that Tracy and Kim were having great fun at my expense. Mary, who has a much greater fear of heights (she passed on an Eiffel Tower visit on her first Paris trip), was a doubtful starter from the onset. We strolled (we did a lot of strolling, so it seems) through town, took an elevator up to the Piazza Grande, which afforded beautiful countryside views, and then continued on another ten minutes to our appointed destination; the dreaded Bucket of Bolts. For the vertiginous amongst us, The Bucket of Bolts looked worse than the description. Two people stand in tandem in a ski-lift-type cage after making a running leap into the mechanism, which is closed at the last minute by a guy who seemed to get a kick at my look of imminent doom. To her credit, Mary sucked it up, and she and Kim were the first to go, followed in the next death car by Tom and Tracy. As it always is, once we were off and rolling I loved it and the fantastic views, although mortality was never far from my mind. Once on top, I could only think of one thing…Campari, which I had at the little snack shop. We hiked another 5 minutes up to the Rocca and the Basilica di Sant’Ubaldo . If you need some useless trivia for your next cocktail party, Ubaldo is the saint against demonic possession and migraine headaches. The Basilica holds the remains of Ubaldo. I wanted to see his body, because one hand is missing three fingers due to an overzealous manservant who chopped them off as souvenirs (and perhaps to put on Medieval E-Bay). However, there was a funeral going on (fortunately not ours), so we just took a quick glance at the church, walked back to the Bucket of Bolts and rode that bad boy to the bottom. Back in town, there was one more important task to perform. Although my three traveling companions already knew this, I wanted to become a lunatic: an official Eugubian lunatic. To do this, so the legend states, one must run around the Fontana dei Matti (Fountain of the Mad) three times, all the while splashing yourself with water. Before I started, I backed up to take a picture of the fountain, tripped over a tiny barrier and fell on my ass. It was at this time I believe the locals started boarding up their houses. I ran around the fountain three times, was deemed a lunatic (and perhaps an idiot) and we headed back to the car for the ride to St. Quirico. It was to be a leisurely 2 ½ drive to the Palazzo del Capitano, and I had us arriving at the appointed wine-drinking time of 5- 6 pm. We stopped at an unmanned ESSO station for gas. After initially pausing at the Diesel pump, I went over to the Super. We looked for the manual on how to get the gas tank open, but sadly there was no manual. After a few minutes the “brain trust” figured that part out. Our next job was to figure out how to pay. After five minutes, we got that part figured out, paid 70 euros to fill up, and it was on to St. Quirico. But you know better than that, don’t you? After about one minute, the car sounded like my bicycle as a kid when it had baseball cards in the spokes, and it was missing more often than Angel hitters vs. the White Sox. I don’t know if they could see the panic in my eyes, but my passengers were beginning to feel uneasy. The car was beginning to feel undriveable. We all agreed we should stop at the closed IP station up ahead to see what was wrong. Then came the words that have us all waking up in sweat to this very day. Kim exclaimed, “Oh my God, we put Super in a Diesel car.” Yes, ladies and gentlemen, here we were, four stranded, feeling rather stupid, Americans in the middle of virtually nowhere, all alone at a closed IP station in a car filled with the wrong gas. There haven’t been four longer faces since the Kerry family on election night 2004. The only place on the car it said diesel was above the gas cap, under the lip, where it was nearly impossible to see, but, no matter, the damage had been done. We did have a Europcar help number. The good news was Kim had brought an international cell phone for some business he had to do during the trip. The bad news, there was only a busy signal at Europcar for half an hour. We found a skinny hose and Kim, whose stomach wasn’t bad enough to begin with, tried to siphon the gas out. Although thinking I should offer him a Gas-X to lighten the mood, I decided against it. Siphoning did not work, but as despair set in, the guy who works at the station stopped by. Our first stroke of luck. He told us about a tow tuck driver in Gubbio who might help us. The downside to that plan was it would cost a few thousand euro. Instead, he called Europcar and did finally got through to someone. He said they would call back. I paced while Tracy, Kim and Mary read. An hour later, still no return call from Europcar. The guy at the station tried again and this time got through to Europcar in Perugia, where we had spent 47 of the nicest minutes of the trip the day before. At 5:30 pm (about 3 ½ hours into the ordeal) a tow truck came and lifted our car onto the back of the truck. Mary and Tracy were offered the nice front seat in the tow truck, but what about Kim and Tom? Well, we climbed onto the truck and strapped ourselves in backward for the trip down the hill. It was Bucket of Bolts II, the Tourists Held Hostage. Had we known what was going on up front during our journey, Kim and I probably would not have been so happy waving at Italian woman who were about to pass us on the winding road. According to Tracy, when the driver hit the first turn he looked back nervously to see if the car was still on the truck. She also said he drove much of the way with one hand (cell phone) and no hands and one knee when adjusting the visor to keep the glaring sun from coming in. But drive he did, and the girls said he was very nice, and they knew much of his life story by the time he reached our final destination, which was, thankfully, Perugia. There was tons of traffic, and Kim and I were oblivious to where we were headed. We saw a Europcar office and thought, “Man, if only we could stop here,” but it looked closed. Suddenly we saw the driver and Tracy head toward us, and Mary made a mad dash to the office. As it turned out, the driver was on the cell phone to the guy at Europcar, who stayed ½ hour late to wait for those gas-impaired Americans. The Europcar guy was nice and even a bit funny. After telling us we were not the first Americans to ever do this, he said in his best English, “I probably don’t have to tell you this, but this car is diesel.” We thanked him and tipped both he and the driver (we also tipped the guy at the IP station). As I walked away he added, “Oh, by the way, to put the car in reverse you pull up on the ring.” I wondered if he had seen a video from Spello. We all felt very lucky that our day had turned out like this, because just two hours before, things looked bleak, although Kim had said at the time, “In 24 hours, this won’t be a big deal.” We had called the Palazzo del Capitano and told them we would be late. We pulled in at 8:30 pm, saw our beautiful rooms and went in search of food. After sipping gasoline for lunch, a dinner of real food sounded good to Kim. We stopped at Il Tinaio on St. Quirico's main walking street, where we had a terrific dinner. The highlight dish was a ribollito (bread soup) that Mary and Tracy ordered. Kim and Mary headed off to a well-deserved sleep, while Tracy and I stayed to have a nightcap, go over our incredible day and toast our very good fortune. Outside of “don’t put the wrong gas in your rental car,” I think the moral of the day was that if you treat people nicely and with respect, they usually will treat you nicely, no matter where you are. Had it not been for three very caring people (the guy at the IP, the tow-truck driver who stayed on the phone for a good part of an hour with Europcar and the Europcar guy himself), the outcome could have been much different. “Wow, that was one wild day,” I said, sipping my Campari nightcap. Without missing a beat, Tracy replied, “Well, at least you have a good story for the board now.” <b> NEXT – PECORINO IS MY LIFE </b> |
One more thing regarding the rental car death. We had originally stopped it at the IP station near one of the pumps. We put the car into neutral to push it out of the way (even though the station was closed), and yours truly was in such a state of shock about the gas incident that I started pressing the clutch instead of the brake to stop its ever-increasing forward momentum.
I rolled out of the lot onto a grassy area where I had to make a sharp turn to avert hitting a tree (damn, it sounds even worse than it was, and it was pretty bad at the time). I felt like one of those old Audi drivers on 60 Minutes who hit the accelator instead of the brake and drive through a restaurant window. Anyway, we decided to try and make us look less stupid (like that was possible) by pushing the car back onto the parking area of the service station. Never has one rental car been pushed backward so often. Quite a day, indeed! ((H)) |
Tom, I look forward to the "Pecorino is my life" story. I returned 2 weeks ago from 18 days in Italy, including 3 nights in Pienza, and absolutely loved the Pecorino. Made my suitcase heavy on the way home!
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Oh Tom hurry up with the your next installment. I can't wait to hear about your experience in Tuscany.
We stayed at Palazzo del Capitano too and loved it. After Bob the Nav and you mentioned you would be staying there, I reserved a room there for our April 2005 trip. We stayed in the Capricorn room which was huge! The garden was not available because the weather was too cool. The staff was very accomodating. They "loaned" us 90E the first night when we went to pay for dinner and no credit cards were accepted. I was the appointed "banker" to find the cash to pay so I ran back to the hotel and pleaded for money otherwise we would be offering our first born or washing dishes. Luckily they the came through and the "loan" charge was on our bill when we left. Hurry up with your trip report. Gail |
ROTFL, maitaitom, I didn't have free time to get back to your thread until tonight. I am laughing myself silly!!! I have said before a few times and I will say again..travel magazine writers are so boring compared to some of our Fodorites! I absolutely love your trip report and especially your attitude and sense of humor during the difficult parts of the trip.
Being a bit uncomfortable with heights myself I can only imagine how you felt in the "Bucket of Bolts"! You are truly a good sport and a great traveller. And Kim sounds like he is also. Well all of you actually. I am so looking forward to the next segment of your trip. Thank you again for all the good chuckles. Take care. |
OMG …
Tom, I did the SAME thing about three years ago in SW France, except I put leaded gas into an unleaded engine (not diesel). Lesson learned: Real women should not pump gas – Ger must always use a full service station! I have an entire trip report that centres around those few awful hours when I was alone, carless and helpless in SW France! Like you, I was amazed at how decent, helpful and kind people were and that within 24 hours I had procession of a new car. I look forward to more. Yours in empathy Ger |
Whew, quite a read - quite the adventure - and an excellent telling of it. Thank you maitaitom
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Continued utter brilliance.
The bad news is that my stomach hurts from laughing. The good news? I won't have to do my tummy crunches come morning. Ah, the joy. Many thanks! |
>>we managed to trash one rental car (a precautionary tale of stupidity from the first part of our trip)<<
Tom - will there be a hefty charge appearing on your next credit card statement? |
This is priceless! And if it makes you feel any better, we've actually done this TWICE! - once in St-Cirq, where we had to be towed down the hillside in a huge flatbed truck with every "Deliverance" understudy gaping at us by the side of the road, and once outside Anzio the night before we had to catch a plane home from Rome. Hard to believe we could be that stupid, but there you have it!
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Superb!
I'll never forget the time our rental car wouldn't start. Something happened to our "clicker" - we could open the door but the engine wouldn't turn over. No extra keys, no cell phone, nothing opened in town, except the bar at a tiny hotel with a guy who spoke no English. Ahhh, the memories. Superb writing! I'm enjoying every second of your trip. Thanks! |
Hi there. Great report - thoroughly enjoying every minute of it.
Last year when we were in Montalcino my husband and I had quite the experience with our rental car too. As you know it is a very hilly town and full of one way streets. On the first day we were trying to find the street behind our hotel to park and had such trouble remembering where it was. After driving around the town for what seemed like hours we finally found what we thought was the street and started down it only to realize it was an alleyway leading to a dead end. Sort of a back entry to people's garages! Long story short we ended up trying to turn around and were unable to do so due to the narrow width and steep drop off to the valley below on the other side. Finally, a little old man came out of his house looking at us like we were aliens and started to open his garage door which was at the very end of the alley. He gestured to us to turn around and back into his garage so we could drive out. After much gesturing we figured it out and made several attempts before we were successful. Of course, we were driving a standard and my poor husband who is normally a great driver and drives shift all the time took many tries before he was able to stop the car from stalling and backed into the garage and finally pointed in the right direction. The look on this little old man's face was priceless. He obviously thought we were the dumbest people alive and I guess we were at that moment. Driving in these little hill towns obviously is something to get used to but it does provide you with some pretty funny stories. Keep writing "maitaitom". |
Tom,I think you are now qualified to be on "The Amazing Race"!
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Love your self-deprecating humor, Tom.
I too am a proud member of the "reverse conundrum" club having driven from Nice to Manosque for 2 hours, 6 years ago, before finding out how to reverse from the bewildered doorman who greeted me at my Manosque residence. "Madame came all the way from Nice?..." Also, just got back from Italy having driven a diesel car. Got a stern warning from the Hertz guy at the counter, and as I was whimpering something about never having driven a diesel car before, he reassured me that there is no difference other than superior fuel efficiency, etc.... Look forward to more of your inspired writing :-) -e |
"We stayed at Palazzo del Capitano too and loved it."
I'll get to Palazzo del Capitano part later today. I will say it was our best hotel experience in Europe...ever! What a great place. GER and St. Cirq: I feel your gasoline pain. It is a pretty bad feeling when you do that, but it made any other minor inconvenience just that...minor. Oh well, thanks for the comments, back to work and more later. ((H)) |
I learned to look carefully at the fuel pumps a few years ago in Texas.
We were headed to AZ for my daughter's wedding and pulled in for gas. There were two hoses at the same pumping station labeled "Premium". I grabbed one and filled the tank with diesel. Fortunately, the car died in the parking lot and we were able to call a very good dealership that got us back on the road within about 5 hrs. On our visit to France, in a diesel, my Lady Wife got out at every stop to make sure that I wasn't putting gasoline into the car. ((I)) |
maitaitom, I think I am in love with you! (yes, yes, I know you have the lovely wife, but humor is the best aphrodisiac and reading this is soooo much better than actually working.)
re: Foligno...It wasn't you! We stayed in the Umbrian hills in late May and on three unfortunate occasions got completely lost in the twilight zone that is Foligno...I feel better now; maybe we weren't the idiots we thought we were. We didn't trash the car, but are down two cameras (one in London, one in Venice) and a cell phone that took a swim in an Umbrian swimming pool. St Clare vs Fox network -- love it! Keep it coming, it's only Tuesday and I have midterms to grade...save me. |
LOL annabelle, does it help or hurt to tell you that I've met Tom in person, and he's just as handsome and charming in person as you probably imagine? ;)
Tom, keep it coming, I'm hanging on to your every word. Kudos to Tracy for being such a good sport. :) Send her my regards. |
"I've met Tom in person, and he's just as handsome and charming in person..."
Jocelyn, you know that wacky Amarone can play tricks on your memory, but thanks for the kind words. Tracy says "hello." I was hoping annabelle2's words might make Tracy jealous, but Tracy said she would be happy to auction me off because she needs the extra money to pay off the Europcar bill. I told her the $2.35 I would fetch wouldn't quite pay the bill. Ira, I understand. I believe Tracy will ask me every time we're at a gas station if I'm putting in the right mixture (well, unless she can auction me off). Pecorino Land is coming up shortly. Stay tuned and thanks for the comments. ((H)) |
Really enjoying your report and your humor and good nature. Looking forward to the rest.
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Looking forward to the next installment Tom. Your report makes work go by just a little bit faster :-))
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Jocelyn:
Wow, funny, smart, attractive AND a great traveler... Maitaitom, are you clonable? And Tracy sounds like a hoot; can I tag along on the next trip? I can't drive a stick but I can combine alcohol with ambien to no ill effects. More installments soon, please. |
AH! When you first mentioned you would be fueling up the car before continuing on, I guessed what you did....(fortunately that's one mistake we didn't make).
All we ever saw of Perugia was the EuroCar office -- as that's where the lady showed us how to put our car into reverse. That office should get a special award for customer service. |
Thank you, maitai! for a great read every day!
Another wonderful segment from a Beautiful American! ((Y)) |
<b> DAY SEVEN – PECORINO IS MY LIFE </b>
Tracy and I awoke undaunted from yesterday’s traumatic adventure and looked forward to new travels, which we hoped would not include anything to do with a gas tank. Kim and Mary had also recovered nicely, and the four of us had a good breakfast at the Palazzo del Capitano. We all really liked our rooms. We were in the Leone (I’m a Leo), while Kim and Mary were in the Gemelli, since Mary was a twin and Kim and Mary were parents of twins. The breakfast room was nice, and we met couples from Oakland and Germany. After breakfast, we went into the back garden of the hotel, a huge space with lounge chairs, tables and an abundance of beautiful flowers. What a great area! I don’t know if it was that beauty of the garden or the knowledge that I was going to get behind the wheel again, but Kim and Mary said they were going to spend the morning reading and relaxing in the garden, and we told them we’d pick them up in the early afternoon for sightseeing. Tracy and I got in the car and drove to our first stop, Bagno Vignoni (less than 10 minutes from St. Quirico), the place where people like St. Catherine of Siena and Lorenzo the Magnificent came to sooth their aching bodies in the thermal baths, which had been renowned for their healing powers. Lorenzo had a great quote: “Whoever wants to be happy, let him be so; about tomorrow there's no knowing." Obviously, he realized the perils of filling up a rental car with the wrong gas. Having already showered, Tracy and I did not need a bath, not that we could have gone in the huge pool in the town’s piazza, anyway. The town was charming, and we spotted a restaurant, Osteria dei Leone, that looked very good, and thought it might be fun to come back for dinner here. From Bagno, you can see a fortress high on the hill called Rocca d’Orcia. We drove up to the town, and took in the beautiful views and dreamed we owned one of the properties that overlooked the gorgeous Val d’Orcia. With great views to behold at every vista and a beautiful woman by my side, there was only one thing on my mind. You got it…Pecorino. It was on to Pecorino Central, the lovely town of Pienza. In 2001, Tracy, Mary, Kim and I (yes, they went with us on this trip knowing the dangers at hand from a previous journey) had visited Pienza and spent some time in a cheese store eating Pecorino, as the lovely proprietor plied us with wine. About a ½ hour and bottle of wine later, we left the store and had a Pecorino picnic in Montepulciano. From that day on, the four of us have been Pecorino devotees (tonight after I post this report, Tracy and I…OK, mostly Tracy… are making ravioli, stuffed with Pecorino, Pears and Mascarpone). It was a gorgeous day, and as we walked around Pienza and smelled the Pecorino from the various shops selling the cheese from heaven, we decided we could either stay here for lunch or go to a little place I had read about in the town of Monticchiello. We both decided we should head to Monticchiello. For a tiny town, Monticchiello has an interesting history including one event from World War II. On April 6, 1944, the Prefect of Siena, during the Fascist Republic, dispatched 450 available men to Monticchiello, to confront a small group of partisans camped around the town. The Fascists were forced to retreat, but revenge was on their mind. The next morning at dawn, a German division reached Monticchiello with orders to find and shoot all the inhabitants. Soldiers broke into the houses, rounded up the people and lined them all up against the wall outside the town gate for execution. Thanks to the intervention from the German wife of one of Monticchiello's landowners, and the help of a priest, Don Marino Torriti, the execution was averted. A monument now commemorates the event, which is on the wall intended for their executions. Tracy and I, however, came in peace. Of course, not before terrorizing citizens with some more erratic driving. Reaching the gate and realizing I could go no further, I proceeded to back down the hill from whence I came (using the reverse ring to accurate perfection). We walked up the hill to the Osteria La Porta near the gate into town. We got a table on the patio with incredible views and even more incredible food. Now here is a shock, I ordered Ravioli alla Pecorino. The tomatoes on the Pomodoro Bruschetta tasted like candy. The ravioli was incredible. We could have dined here for every meal, but a German film crew was setting up to shoot a movie for the next few days, and the restaurant would be closed. An interesting dichotomy don’t you think? Sixty years ago Germans came to Monticchiello to shoot its citizens, now they were coming to shoot a movie. Quite an improvement, I must say. Afterward, it was back to St. Quirico d’Orcia to pick up Kim and Mary. They looked relaxed and ready to get back on the road. Kim reminded me it had been 24 hours since our ordeal, and sure enough it was a distant memory (at least until the bill comes). We took them by the Bagno restaurant, took some photos and it was on to the town that you can see from all vantage points in the area, Radicofani. It, not surprisingly, has a rocca fortress, and we decided that all these medieval people had way too much time on their hands, which is why they kept invading and killing each other. This was also the place where Ghino do Tacco kept the Abbot of Cluny hostage for a while. It’s an interesting story you should look up online. A hint: Ghino had a nice side to him after all, which is why I now call him the Soft Tacco. We drove back to St. Quirico, via Pienza, so Kim and Mary could get a whiff of the Pienza Pecorino at it’s finest. That night we dined at Osteria dei Leone in Bagno Vignoni, and although the meal was good, it didn’t quite live up to our expectations, except for an excellent risotto. The Nobile di Montalcino was good enough that we ordered a second. Since he did not drink too much wine, unlike some other guy we know, Kim drove us back to the hotel. We got to bed pretty early because tomorrow we were going to five different hill towns and we needed rest. <b> NEXT - THE FIVE BEST HILL TOWNS MOST PEOPLE HAVE NEVER HEARD OF OR VISITED </b> ((H)) |
Ah, sweet memories! Tasting three different Pecorinos in Pienza, each a bit more aged. Lunch on the piazza in Bagno Vinoni. We were there in summer so we paid a day fee and swam in the pool at the hotel. I remember sitting there looking at the fortress on the hill, like something out of a movie.
We visited Montecchiello, too, but we had dinner there, at the Taverna di Moranda inside town. It was fabulous food, and our first bottle of Nobile which we loved. Looking forward to more. The ravioli sound amazing. I don't suppose you could get Tracy to email the recipe? |
Maitaitom, have you read War in Val D'Orcia: An Italian War Diary, 1943-1944 by Iris Origo? It sure makes touring the area interesting and you can visit her gardens which are so beautiful. |
Thanks SeaUrchin for the heads up. I just went on Amazon and bought it. It sounds very interesting.
Marilyn, as soon as we get it perfected, we will e-mail you the ravioli recipe. ((H)) |
Glad to see Iris Origo's war diary mentioned here. It was fascinating and harrowing at times, as much for what is left to the imagination as for what is explicitly chronicled. And, she apparently made the decision to have her war diary published as it was, not with an edit from the present day (when published) point of view.
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Could you post the ravioli recipe at the end of the thread perhaps? It sounds divine and I'm sure many of us would love to try it. Thanks for yet another awesome installment.
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I don't want to hijack the thread, but here is the book on La Foce, Iris Origo's villa and gardens. The estate also rents the farm homes now to the public:
LA Foce: A Garden and Landscape in Tuscany (Penn Studies in Landscape Architecture) (Hardcover-Amazon) |
Thanks, Tom! When are you going to make it up here for a GTG?
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VERY Entertaining, thank you.
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Your trip report is so much fun - can't wait to read the rest!!
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Tom - what day did you have lunch at La Porta in Montichiello? I think we might have been there also enjoying a lunch to die for - the zucchini omelette was heavenly - while observing all the commotion of the film crew setting up. We stayed in an apartment in this lovely village and thought it to be a wonderful base for exploring Southern Tuscany.
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"Tom - what day did you have lunch at La Porta in Montichiello?"
It was on Wednesday, September 21 at about 1 pm. We couldn't go on Thursday, and they were going to start filming on Friday. ((H)) |
:Soft Tacco" LOL
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Wow - what a coincidence. That is the day we were there, and at that time. We sat in a little table for two right next to the steps from the patio to the restaurant. What a small world!
I'm loving your trip report, by the way - I'd post my own if I could even come close to conveying it all as wonderfully as you do. |
Bravissimo! What a fun read!! Can't wait for the next installment. I hurried past the reponse posts just to read about your trip. ((Y))
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