I agree that since it's your holiday you can please yourself and not be made to feel guilty about doing this or that or not doing or seeing the other.
Personally I tend to find a newsagents, buy 2 or 3 dailies (possibly one English if I can) and then I can sit in a cafe all day. Seriously it can be a difficulty prising me out from behind my table.
I just find that soooo relaxing and that is what makes my holiday for me. Sometimes this means that the good Lady DoGood will be off on her own, or sometimes I'll simply leave her at the villa by the pool all day reading.
And that way we're all recgarged and ready to go the following day to go see something/where else.

"Chacun a son gout" seems to be les mots justes! (as stated severally already).
Dr D.

degas, good point, but I still lack the nerve.

Don't keep me in suspense about my screen-name. Tell me if you think you know.

I saw a sad program about how Starbucks is pushing the small independent cafe owners out in Europe prats! "THEY just dont get it do they"

Most Americans, including myself, have never perfected the fine art of doing nothing. Why pretend to be something we are not?

smueller, that's an interesting point about what we've developed or not. But I'm unsure whether sitting in a cafe is the nothing you reference.

Friends from Italy have related stories of their days in cafes. One, my friend Lino, in Liguria, operated a small cafe for years, and even now, retired, he runs down to that cafe for a coffee or drink. His friends gather there at set hours, just to converse, mostly about whatever had happened in the intervening hour. It was completely charming to hear him so emotional about his time in the cafe.

It seems we have much to learn from others and their cultures. Hearing Lino, as sat on an American beach soaking up the rays, transported me to northern Italy. Of course we had to cease when his wife Lillian approached. She supports his cafe visits but not the frequent libations.

The first trip abroad I was too busy rushing around and did none of this. Now, it's become a supremely important event in my travels. It serves as a rest, a time to write postcards, to absorb the atmosphere. Once in Hyde Park, after days of rushing about and seeing everything, I sat at a table by the Serpentine on the Lido, had some tea and a scone and listened to the sounds of traffic competing with the serenity of this park. For all I did, every museum, every show, this hour is the one I think of most often. How I would like to recreate this hour on a regular basis. I believe it becomes the highlight of your day AFTER you have traveled about a bit and are on familiar ground. As I said, this was true on my third trip to London, not my first.

Thanks everyone for the wide variety of inputs. I learned a few things.

Ira, I will use your technique to strike up a conversation, but not the one degas recommended.

And degas, it looks like you do know what my screen name means. I didn't know you traveled to that part of the world. Thats a long way from rural Georgia!

I wonder when you're sitting in a cafe how you can really be sure of who the "locals" are and once you've "seen" and "studied" them what happens next?

I like to stop and sit at sidewalk cafes when I visit someplace new. One can learn a great deal! For example: one year all the Paris 'ladies of the evening' wore red, high heeled shoes so the police would recognize them for what they were and wouldn't 'hassle' them. American tourist ladies would see them strolling along the Champs Elysees and would immediately flock to the shoe stores so they could dress like those fashionable French ladies they saw. It's little wonder that they would later find themselves being patted on the behind by some admiring 'local.'

I like to sit for about an hour, sizing up the locals, how they dress, whether they wear wristwatches, their shoes or sandals, all the way to their hairdo's. Of course I have a drink (it may be tea or coffee) as I watch. The next day, I am a Roman (or a Madrilenho or a Parisian).

They say: "If you sit at Fouquet's on the Champs Elysees long enough you will see your best friend pass by."

Okay, hansikday, you answered on the other thread, and now I see the gist of what you're getting at so I will mention something else here.

I guess I'm the type of person who makes a lot of eye contact with people. That usually causes people to open up & talk to me. I'm also one of those goofy smiling Americans. Makes one less intimidating, I suppose. Plus, when people talk to me, I respond very readily. My sister says of me that I make friends everywhere I go!!

If you travel alone, too, then it is easier for other people to strike up a conversation with you as well.

So, its more about making eye contact and smiling a lot?

You say you are goofy, but are you also attractive and that, and not being funny, is what encourages men to talk to you?

Its hard for me to know when being friendly starts being considered easy or looking to hook up with somebody.

I don't know if I put that very well, but I hope you know what I mean.

No, I'm just so-so, not too terribly attractive.

And maybe that's why he tried to kiss me, he might've thought I was an easy American woman. But he found out wrong!!!

I admit it..I am a time waster...point me to a cute cafe or a fun pub when I am traveling and I happy. I can see all the sights on the internet..lol
I also feel like I have to be doing something productive..it is hard to feel like it is ok just to hang out.
I meet people easily..wherever I go-many I stay in contact with. My last trip to Europe in August I was on my own and had a great time and met great people..I think this is "to each his own"
Some tips for meeting others-other than a pickup scene? Ask questions "where would you suggest" "What is the best way to get to" etc..you find out quickly if local or not..either way you have something to talk about..and smile..
When I get back from a trip most of my pictures are of all the people I meant..oh and a few of the sights I saw-I get postcards for those..they are much more professional then I could take!

Beatchisk,

If an unknown Maitre D. kissed me on my lips, I Expect at least a Free Dinner!!

sorry, I mispelled your name Mademoiselle or madame Beatchick

Kismetchimera, it's a shame it WASN'T a free lunch, considering how much I spent!! Maybe he was just grateful!?! ;D

Hi Hasikday. Like you, my stops in cafes are often limited to thirty minutes or so but there are also times when I can sit for hours and watch people. For example, our first night in Rome a year and a half ago was on a beautiful April evening. We grabbed a table with a prime location in Piazza della Rotonda, and sat for four hours drinking wine and watching the endlessly-fascinating flow of humanity, with the Pantheon as a spectacular backdrop.

We like to stop in cafes frequently - partly for practical reasons (needing caffeine, needing a rest, joint pains and, er, other bodily needs) but also for enjoyment.

Sometimes we stop for half an hour, sometimes much more and one might read from a guide book (sometimes out loud but not too loud) and the other might scribble some postcards or perhaps be jotting a few memories into a small note book/ journal.

We enjoy watching the world go by and the view too, if it's a nice one... and we usually choose places where it is.

Sometimes I (as the gregarious one) end up chatting to people - staff, locals, other tourists. I don't know how. It's something I've always been able to do.

You see something funny happen and catch someone else smiling at it too and say something bland but friendly such as "Isn't it just the same the world over" or similar and away one goes. Or perhaps staff or a local shows friendliness in a smile and I ask "Excuse me, I wondered if you might be able to tell me what that poster means on the building opposite? Is it political or about a festival...?" etc.

Shrug... it just happens. Sometimes it leads to great tips on what to visit/ where to eat etc.

As to whether you're missing something by not doing it - depends 100% on whether you <i>feel</i> you are or not. If it interests you and you enjoy it, do more of it. If it doesn't, don't.

Happy travels,
Kavey

Mariarosa, re: '<i>My husband is very &quot;do-oriented&quot;. He has to be &quot;doing&quot; something all the time. . . . I am very &quot;being-oriented&quot;.'

While I <i>tend</i> to be somewhat like your husband, I also like something I once heard Deepak Chopra say, that we are not called &quot;human doings&quot; but, rather, human beings. (As I recall, this comment of his came in the context of talking about people who see those who aren't &quot;doing&quot; something as &quot;lazy.&quot
</i>

capo, nice quote. I do think that you're a bit like my husband. How do I know? In that silly thread about &quot;what country are you&quot; you turned out to be Switzerland and he did too.