Hello all, my husband has this obsession lately with making "a ton of money". He feels then he will be truly happy. I however know many people who are truly wealthy and are miserable. <BR> <BR>My question is this, when traveling do you think you really get a better experience when money is not an object? Is staying at five-star hotels truly better than a nice two or three star hotel? And sometimes don't you just want to stay in the U.S. rather than spending more money getting to Europe? <BR> <BR>My husband is getting this, we must travel outside the U.S. every year, for three plus weeks, attitude. <BR> <BR>Not to make this a huge debate but the wealth of experience found within this site warrants my asking such questions. <BR> <BR>Thanks

I have stayed in many 3, 4, and 5 star hotels all over Europe and a few 2 star ones. Once in a while a 5 star is wonderful, like our stay at the Negresco in Nice after hiking in Provence. But overall, they are more like staying in any luxury hotel in the US. I generally prefer 3 star hotels in Europe as they are more "local" in feel. I guess if you really love being pampered and live for room service, then stick with 5 stars, but if you want to "live" Europe, then drop a star or two. However, I have often felt that some countries, Italy in particular tends to often be about a star below other countries. Most 3 star hotels in Rome for example seem a good couple of steps below the 3 star hotels I stay at in Paris. I am more likely in Rome to upgrade to a 4 or even 5 star. Realize though, that the number of stars has more to do with the specific services offered rather than the overall decor or quality of the hotel.

It is personal preference, Jennifer. <BR> <BR>Get the necessities taken care of in your life, then travel first class and stay in 5 star hotels. Have no regrets. <BR> <BR>I think sometimes people without money look upon people with money and look to find fault . . . <BR> <BR>If you don't want to go to Europe with him, wish him well on his travels, and stay home . . .

Jennifer - <BR>If you are serious in your query, here's my responses: <BR>1. Yes, as a rule the 5* hotels offer a better level of comfort and service. You DO get what you pay for. <BR>2. No, it is not a necessity of life to stay in a 5* hotel <BR>3. It IS nice to say in 5* hotels - go out and enjoy the local culture, then crawl under your feather duvet after a room service dinner and soak in the marble bath. <BR>4. If you can afford and are not depriving someone of something to pay for it, then go on and enjoy it. Guilt is not a productive emotion. <BR>5. If you and your husband find that growing his need to spend lavishly ultimately leads to a parting of the ways, I want first dibs! (Do, however follow the time honored principle of marrying however but divorcing well. If he's that loaded, I won't begrudge the alimony)

Thanks to company expense accounts (and some wealthy friends) I've stayed in luxury hotels. They are indeed worth it if it is luxury you want - hoo hoo those marble tubs with the jacuzzi swirls are mmm mmm good. Fancy schmancy toiletries, fluffy towels and robes and room service are glorious. A chauffered limo or car to drive one around to all the sights, instead of waiting for subways or taxis, saves time and wear and tear. To have that same driver pick you up and drop you off at the airport?? Priceless... If you've got the wherewithal to do it, then do it. <BR>That being said - the important question is "why travel?" If you don't enjoy other cultures or art or vistas or whatever, no point in going anywhere. Doesn't matter the accommodations - you'll hate where you are. A chauffeured car is useless if you don't care about the scenery or the sights. No amount of money will make the trip enjoyable. <BR> <BR>

Hi Jennifer, <BR>I just want to add that if you are worried about the money then splurging is no fun. You don't want to spend beyond your means, then the 5 star experience will be nothing but a rip off. You constantly think about all the other things you could do with the cash. But if money is TRULY no object, then sure its worth it. Because the money has less worth to you, do you know what I mean? All things are relative. <BR> <BR>And yes, sometimes I do want to stay in the US. After travelling internationally the last two years, and having a great time, my husband and I decided to go to Martha's Vineyard this year. It is less expensive, and less stressful. We like different vacations at different times. <BR> <BR>Hope this helps!

When I traveled to Europe on business, I stayed in *****. Now, semi-retired, we bike in Europe and stay at ** and splurge on a ***. When I traveled on business, I had no interest in cultural immersion. Now it's time to enjoy, bike 20-30 miles a day, stop and chat, have no schedule, and appreciate Europe and the people.

There is no question that you have a "better experience" when you don't have to worry too much about money. Far better to take a limo from the airport to your hotel than lug your bags through the metro then walk to your hotel. Even when you can afford to stay in five-star hotels, a lot of the clientele will have lots more money and be far more important than others and they'll receive better service and attention. If your husband is willing to spend the money, and you don't mind going, try to be the one to pick the destinations. Research and planning is great fun. And, you'll have something to do while he's busy making money. My husband leaves all the planning to me, which I don't mind a bit. If all he did was pay the bills and carry my stuff around, that would be plenty for me! Sounds like your husband is more interested in bragging rights that actually visiting. No matter, in any destination he probably has in mind, there's plenty to see and do, fabulous dining, and wonderful shopping. I enjoy Europe because everything's been there much longer and there's more history and it's all new and interesting. Meeting the people and learning about other cultures is fascinating. And, the scenery is magnificent. No matter how you do your first trip over, you'll have a wonderful time and return with immeasurable experience for planning the next trip. But, do keep an eye on your husband and your finances. I would take it as a good sign that, in spite of being obsessed with making money, he's willing to take some time off and spend some of it. Always remember to enjoy what you can while you can. You just never know what's around the corner...

If you stay only at ***** you miss a lot-it seems to put you out of touch with what you came to see, these places can be very similar all over the world. <BR>(there are exceptions of course-eg some *****s are old castles) <BR> I prefer only to use ***** at the end of tiring journeys when I need pampered. <BR> The same goes for car use - it gives you more freedom to tour, but you miss more as compared to public transport.Do both.

Jennifer -- I have a feeling that you're actually less worried about the ***** vs. *** issue than you are about the first sentence in your posting -- namely, that your husband has developed an obsession with making "a ton of money" and feels that it (or the 3 weeks/yr of travelling and staying in 5* hotels) will make him happy. I think you are right to be skeptical about this. Trust your gut. Travel is great and staying in fancy places can be a lot of fun (although there are some expensive places I wouldn't stay in again, and some cheap B&B's I'd go back to in a heartbeat -- it often has to do with the kindliness and good humor of the place more than the bathroom fixtures), but there are an awful lot of people out there chasing the almighty dollar thinking that if they just had a little more and could afford X then that's all they would need and they'd be happy. The trouble with that is that there will always be better, nicer, more expensive, and you can spend your whole life chasing after it. Money isn't just money -- it also represents the hard work and stress and long hours and everything that went into earning it. Sometimes the upgrade in lifestyle isn't worth the tradeoff. Just a thought. <BR> <BR>P.S. If I'm wrong and you really are just asking about ***** vs. *** then there's a simple solution -- compromise on ****. <BR> <BR>And yes, sometimes I do just want to stay in the U.S. rather than travelling abroad. There are a lot of great places in the U.S. I haven't seen yet! But then the world is wide too. I'm trying to take one domestic trip (usually 1 week) and one foreign trip (usually 2 weeks) each year if possible, preferably each to a place I've never been before. Planning the trips is so much fun! <BR>

hmmm...trying to read between the lines of jennifer's posting.... <BR>her husband wants to make "a ton of money" but then wants to spend a good bit of it traveling for longer than 3wks to Europe each year, and she's not saying that she can't spare the time.... <BR>I have a terrific position, making what is probably "a ton of money" pre-tax (don't get me started on how much I get to keep)and carving out a full 2 weeks every couple of years is difficult. I've had friends suddenly struck down in their 30's and 40's, a young child who is (God willing) a cancer survivor, and a husband w/high blood pressure and cholosterol. Yes, I try to travel domestically yearly, and internationally as much as I can. I go to Europe and stand in 500+ year old buildings, and imagine the problems those walls have seen, and feel the release of my day to day piddly problems, in view of the history of the world. Because, maybe, if I say, scrimp more now and go in 5 years, just maybe we won't all get there. <BR>Jenn: is your husband focusing, as mentioned by another poster, on the uncertainty of life? has he had some eye opener experiences that you don't share? is he trying to spend money now and still retire young? and getting to the places he wants to see while he can, he's obviously intent on taking you along for the fun ride? <BR>Is it that you just don't want to go? (that was an unbelievable problem in my first marriage: I booked us to Bermuda, he said okay, then cancelled it when he found out it wasn't American!!) <BR>Sure, some "truly wealthy" people are miserable, and some really poor people are happy: sounds like you need to find the common ground. Any yearly 3wks + trip to Europe at "even" *** hotels will still use up mucho disposable income; maybe you should call Dr Laura to see what's really bothering you.

First, I would like to say that if you can spare the 3 weeks plus and have the money to do it up in luxury, then by all means, you should! <BR> <BR>When you die, it will not matter how much money you had or what you spent your money on. What will matter is how much fun and joy and laughter you had along the way. <BR> <BR>I'm not rich monetarily, but I am the wealthiest person I know because I have fun in my life and I have a spouse and child to share it with. When we travel, it doesn't matter where we lay our heads at night, so long as we lay them together--that's my idea of a 5-star place! <BR> <BR>Would I like to be a millionaire? ABSOLUTELY! Would a luxurious hotel be worth it? SURE! Would I still go to Europe if I had to stay in a 2-star hote? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! <BR> <BR>And yes, that's my final answer... <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR>

I knew if I posted this message I'd get great replys filled with ideas/opinions for further contemplation. Thanks a bunch!

Just a note: five star often to refers to the services offered, not the luxury level. I love luxury, but prefer smaller, historic luxury hotels, often with 4 or 3 star ratings because they have fewer services-- and fewer conferences, business groups, crowds.

My wife and I first experienced Europe at ages 22 and 21 when I was drafted in the Army and stationed in Germany in 1970/71. We had no money, but traveled every opportunity we got. Even had to spend one night in Bavaria in our car. Now we have been to Europe many times on first class trips, first class air and first class hotels. I have to admit that I have the best and funniest memories of the early years. We cannot go back to those years and we do enjoy the way we travel now, but if I could go back....it would be the early years. First class is nice, but you do run into some jerks at those levels and you do have to keep up with the jerks that think they have to keep up with other jerks. My thought: just go and enjoy Europe. Don't worry about "having" to do anything you do not really want to do. That is really the true sign of wealth anyway.

It's the age old question: ***** vs. *** and we all know the answer- it is not the size but what you do with it that matters. Seems to apply here too!

Traveling only "DeLuxe" means money is DEFINITELY the object, especially if you never quite dare stay in anything less than 4-stars. There's a dulling sameness about top-of-the-line, much like eating butter-cream frosting 3 meals a day. I enjoy the discovery of a truly perfect and unique B&B or small hotel far more than fawning doormen and obscenely priced orange juice. <BR> <BR>I admit, scrimping and strategizing to be able to afford 1- or 2-star is not nearly so romantic now as it was when I was in my 20s, but it WAS romantic then. And in any case, a "splurge" is not a splurge if it's what you can have any time you want. And if making a ton of money is the object, then J's husband will never be happy, because there's always someone with much more. If he were told he had 6 hours to live, what would he regret most -- choosing **** instead of *****? I hope not. <BR>

I've done both and agree with one of the posters -- are you going for bragging rights or to enjoy Europe. The 2** pension I stayed in Paris when I was a stupid college student had more atmosphere than my 4**** honeymoon hotel. But being with my wife made the experience more special. My general feeling is that if you're too concerned about your hotel (ESPECIALLY if it's your first visit) than you're not enjoying yourself because you're not seeing what makes Europe great.