Two girls in Italy
Feb 5th, 2008, 10:18 AM
#1
Original Poster
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 335
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Two girls in Italy
Okay so I'm a worry wart mom but here's my dilema. My daughter and her best friend, both twenty, want to travel to Italy for one week. They have not done much planning and are waiting for the last minute. The friend doesn't even have her passport yet! She has sent for expedited service but has no guarantee that it will be here in time. They've not booked their air or hotel/hostel reservations because of the lack of the passport. I don't think they'll be getting any deals on this last minute travel. They really don't have any idea as to the total cost of this trip either.
Their spring break begins 3/7 and ends 3/15. They have tentatively decided to fly into Milan and zigzag from Milan to Venice, Florence, Rome and Naples. They are not renting a car but will be traveling by train (although they've not researched this either). I think that this is a bit much to do in 7 days. They'll be spending a great deal of their time traveling and not enjoying what little they get to see. But, I've been told that they can do this and plan this on their own without my help, thank you very much! They are paying their own way so I have no financial leverage on this. Does anyone else think as I do or am I truly an overprotective and pushy mom? Any input would be appreciated.
Their spring break begins 3/7 and ends 3/15. They have tentatively decided to fly into Milan and zigzag from Milan to Venice, Florence, Rome and Naples. They are not renting a car but will be traveling by train (although they've not researched this either). I think that this is a bit much to do in 7 days. They'll be spending a great deal of their time traveling and not enjoying what little they get to see. But, I've been told that they can do this and plan this on their own without my help, thank you very much! They are paying their own way so I have no financial leverage on this. Does anyone else think as I do or am I truly an overprotective and pushy mom? Any input would be appreciated.
Feb 5th, 2008, 10:37 AM
#2
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 45,322
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
LOL normal, I think your daughter and her friend will change their minds about going from Milan to Venice to Florence to Rome to Naples etc. once they arrive in Italy.
If you want to give them guidance here is the english version of the Trenitalia Train website. This will show them how long it takes to travel from place to place not including getting to the station etc.
http://www.trenitalia.com/en/index.html
And here is the website for the Malpensa Shuttle bus that will get them from Malpensa (Milan International Airport) to the train station in Milan where they can catch the train to Venice or whereever.
http://www.malpensashuttle.it/e-default.htm
I understand your frustration normal but as a mother and grandmother what I would do under the circumstances is give them these two websites and let them figure it out. Some young people are interested in learning from others and some are stubborn and want to do it "their way". If they do take this trip they will learn a lot about travelling and this will be a lesson for future trips.
They want to plan the trip on their own and they are paying for the trip so I would just sit back and watch with interest. It is hard to do I know but in my experiences it is sometimes the only way to handle matters like this. Best regards.
If you want to give them guidance here is the english version of the Trenitalia Train website. This will show them how long it takes to travel from place to place not including getting to the station etc.
http://www.trenitalia.com/en/index.html
And here is the website for the Malpensa Shuttle bus that will get them from Malpensa (Milan International Airport) to the train station in Milan where they can catch the train to Venice or whereever.
http://www.malpensashuttle.it/e-default.htm
I understand your frustration normal but as a mother and grandmother what I would do under the circumstances is give them these two websites and let them figure it out. Some young people are interested in learning from others and some are stubborn and want to do it "their way". If they do take this trip they will learn a lot about travelling and this will be a lesson for future trips.
They want to plan the trip on their own and they are paying for the trip so I would just sit back and watch with interest. It is hard to do I know but in my experiences it is sometimes the only way to handle matters like this. Best regards.
Feb 5th, 2008, 11:06 AM
#3
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 10,253
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Express your concerns--briefly--about the number of destinations in so short a time. Give them the trenitalia web site. Then shut your mouth and let them waste their own money.
They will return exhausted and unfulfilled OR having eliminated a destination or two halfway through the trip. You will experience the magic moment when she says, "We shouldn't have tried to visit so many places. Mom, you were right."
They will return exhausted and unfulfilled OR having eliminated a destination or two halfway through the trip. You will experience the magic moment when she says, "We shouldn't have tried to visit so many places. Mom, you were right."
Feb 5th, 2008, 11:12 AM
#4
I think they'll be OK. But you may not need to worry...
I'm not convinced they will be able to pull off getting passports & finding affordable plane tickets with such short notice.
And yes trying to go to Milan, Venice, Florence, Rome, and Naples in 7 days is a ridiculous idea!! But they'll find that out for themselves and have to readjust their expectations after they arrive and begin the trip.
Do they even know what city they are planning to fly into and out of?
I'm not convinced they will be able to pull off getting passports & finding affordable plane tickets with such short notice.
And yes trying to go to Milan, Venice, Florence, Rome, and Naples in 7 days is a ridiculous idea!! But they'll find that out for themselves and have to readjust their expectations after they arrive and begin the trip.
Do they even know what city they are planning to fly into and out of?
Feb 5th, 2008, 11:13 AM
#5
Original Poster
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 335
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Oh Ellenem....sigh...what a joy to hear those words "Mom, you were right" at least once in a lifetime. I think that keeping my nose out of this one will be one of the toughest things I do this year.
Feb 5th, 2008, 11:18 AM
#6
Original Poster
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 335
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Well my daughter has mentioned flying into Milan. However, she has not researched any flights at all! She did mention flying into Milan and flying back home via Rome. I don't know if this is doable or cost effective since I've been prohibited from researching this for her. If she knew I was doing this much she would not be too happy.
They both work at an Italian restaurant while going to the university so they are really excited about going but they're so busy between work and school they've not had the time to look into this trip thoroughly.
At this point in time there is the question as to whether this trip is doable considering the lack of time involved in preparations. But my lips are sealed! Now..where did I put that duct tape?!
They both work at an Italian restaurant while going to the university so they are really excited about going but they're so busy between work and school they've not had the time to look into this trip thoroughly.
At this point in time there is the question as to whether this trip is doable considering the lack of time involved in preparations. But my lips are sealed! Now..where did I put that duct tape?!
Feb 5th, 2008, 11:32 AM
#8
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 541
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My daughter is also 20. She & friends went to Europe post high school. I do the planning in our family for trips so I made a few general suggestions (i.e. get your 1st night & last night accomodations booked) and other than that I only spoke up when they asked about something specific. I did help them get airfares when they were ready to book, but we were paying for the flights.
They REALLY had a great time doing the planning themselves and yes, they learned the hard way that the great hostels got booked up during summer and they should have started earlier, etc. etc. But their trip was great for them and even the challenges they faced made for great stories.
Especially since this is their own money you need to let them figure it out. And please, if things DON'T work out, just offer sympathy, not an "I told you so". They'll have a great time!
They REALLY had a great time doing the planning themselves and yes, they learned the hard way that the great hostels got booked up during summer and they should have started earlier, etc. etc. But their trip was great for them and even the challenges they faced made for great stories.
Especially since this is their own money you need to let them figure it out. And please, if things DON'T work out, just offer sympathy, not an "I told you so". They'll have a great time!
Feb 5th, 2008, 11:40 AM
#9
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 541
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
One nice way to "help" though would be to give you daughter a gift of a guidebook and some maps. A guidebook like Rick Steves Italy will state pretty clearly that you shouldn't blitz through a country and it even has easy to use planning maps for trains. This way you are not giving advice or butting in - you are just giving a nice present.
Feb 5th, 2008, 11:41 AM
#10
Original Poster
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 335
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Since I always do all the planning for our family trips it is so hard to stay out of it. So far I think I've done alright but as I said in the first post it is my nature to be a worry wart.
But that is a good suggestion, though, to have your first and last nights stay booked ahead of time. If need be then I guess they can figure out the rest when they get there. Not my way of doing things but I am a type "A" take charge type of person.
This definitely will be good experience for them. I know that when I was their age I would have loved to be able to do this. At least they won't be at some wild and crazy beach place during spring break!
But that is a good suggestion, though, to have your first and last nights stay booked ahead of time. If need be then I guess they can figure out the rest when they get there. Not my way of doing things but I am a type "A" take charge type of person.
This definitely will be good experience for them. I know that when I was their age I would have loved to be able to do this. At least they won't be at some wild and crazy beach place during spring break!
Feb 5th, 2008, 11:48 AM
#11
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,759
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
This thread makes me smile: I, too, am the mother of a daughter, now 25 who went to Italy and France with a girlfriend 5 years ago. I have heard the words, "Mum, you were right" with regard to this specific set of events.But they had a great time finding out for themselves.
However, I also remember a time nearly 40 years ago now when I showed my parents a 4-week itinerary for my sister and I (we were 16 and 21) that included England, Scotland, France, Holland, Sweden, Denmark and Germany. My Dad tried to set us straight. My Mum (bless her heart)just smiled and said "Have a wonderful trip".
However, I also remember a time nearly 40 years ago now when I showed my parents a 4-week itinerary for my sister and I (we were 16 and 21) that included England, Scotland, France, Holland, Sweden, Denmark and Germany. My Dad tried to set us straight. My Mum (bless her heart)just smiled and said "Have a wonderful trip".
Feb 5th, 2008, 11:53 AM
#12
Original Poster
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 335
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Oh LJ...wouldn't I love to have your mum's attitude. For some reason if my son said he was going to do this I wouldn't worry as much. But I guess its the double standard rearing it's head. I worry tons more about her and it absolutely drives her crazy!
Feb 5th, 2008, 11:55 AM
#13
Oftentimes "open jaw" plane tickets (which go into one city but out of another) are not any more expensive. And it saves backtracking on the ground.
I don't think they need any hostel or hotel reservations if they don't want them. Even the first and last nights. Hopefully they will at least travel with a guidebook or a list of suggested places to stay.
Tramping around Rome with their backpacks or suitcases looking for a place to sleep may not be OUR idea of a good time, but it's not OUR trip remember
;-)
I don't think they need any hostel or hotel reservations if they don't want them. Even the first and last nights. Hopefully they will at least travel with a guidebook or a list of suggested places to stay.
Tramping around Rome with their backpacks or suitcases looking for a place to sleep may not be OUR idea of a good time, but it's not OUR trip remember
;-)
Feb 5th, 2008, 11:56 AM
#14
normal1983~ Try not to worry so much about your daughter. Things can happen anywhere - good and bad. Just as easily something could go wrong for her at home as traveling around Europe. Backwards consolation, I realize.
Feb 5th, 2008, 12:26 PM
#15
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 8,247
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Chances are that they will start to stick to their initial plan for a day or two, but then like it better in Milan or Florence than they expected, and will stay longer.
In that case, it would be a blessing in disguise that they did not pay in advance for reservations or hostel stays.
If you just want to travel by train between the big cities, no real "research" is needed. Go to the station, get on the next train. You probably will just have time for an espresso until the next train leaves. Only disadvantage would be that they could not get discount rates since those are usually connected with advance booking. But that's the trade-off for being flexible.
Hostels and similar accomodations already have their billboards in the train stations, and are usually just a stone's throw away (with the possible exception of Venice).
They'll meet lots of people there from their age group whose advice re. budget travel is more up to date and more in sync with young people's lifestyle than any one year old tour book on Italy printed in the US.
If all this mess with passports and flights should work out eventually, you could consider to give them a first night in a hotel in Milan as a gift (Only if you want, of course!). Finding a place to stay for the first night, with a jetlag in my bones, would be the most unpleasant start for a rather short trip, IMO.
In that case, it would be a blessing in disguise that they did not pay in advance for reservations or hostel stays.
If you just want to travel by train between the big cities, no real "research" is needed. Go to the station, get on the next train. You probably will just have time for an espresso until the next train leaves. Only disadvantage would be that they could not get discount rates since those are usually connected with advance booking. But that's the trade-off for being flexible.
Hostels and similar accomodations already have their billboards in the train stations, and are usually just a stone's throw away (with the possible exception of Venice).
They'll meet lots of people there from their age group whose advice re. budget travel is more up to date and more in sync with young people's lifestyle than any one year old tour book on Italy printed in the US.
If all this mess with passports and flights should work out eventually, you could consider to give them a first night in a hotel in Milan as a gift (Only if you want, of course!). Finding a place to stay for the first night, with a jetlag in my bones, would be the most unpleasant start for a rather short trip, IMO.
Feb 5th, 2008, 12:38 PM
#17
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 45,322
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Hi again normal, just a thought in case they happen to ask for your thoughts. After landing at Malpensa they could take the shuttle bus into Milan and take the next train to Venice. They will be jetlagged anyway and at least they would wake up the next morning in Venice instead of losing a good part of the day getting back to the Milan train station, the 3 hour train trip etc. But only if they ask your thoughts of course, lol. Take care..and know you have a lot of company when it comes to feeling like pulling your hair out with frustration when it involve young adult children. I use to tell my daughter I credit her with every gray hair I have (well under the colored hair of course) and she now tells her sons the same thing.
