Apres_Londee

>>>Yes, we should have ignored our family conversation and paid more attention to the waifs<<<

But that's the point exactly. You DIDN'T ignore them. You engaged them. Stopping what you're doing, looking at them, and saying "no" is engaging them and when they know they have caught at least some of your attention, they will continue to pester you because you have already revealed a small crack of weakness.

If you HAD actually ignored them, continued your conversation, made no eye contact, etc., I am 99.9% certain they would have left you alone.

Doing the "turning the tables" thing takes even MORE of your time and effort. That's why it's so mortifying.

If you pretend the vendors aren't there and just continue on with whatever you're doing, you aren't wasting YOUR time and you aren't wasting THEIR time.

And yes, what you did to the vendors was demeaning. Demeaning to them and to yourself. I don't quite get how anyone can fail to see that.

bozama

Wow, some of you people are real saints, NEVER been curt, rude or abrupt to a saleperson, begger, telemarketer , EVER,, wow.. I am impressed.

Anyways, reread my post, not all people who beg are poor . This I know for a fact.
Drug addicts and mentally ill do not enter this conversation, as they are NOT VENDORS.
Vendors are not stupid , and may not be as poor as you think, you know, they don't actually make the crap they sell. No, they buy it from wholesalers who import crap from third world countries. Stuff made in sweatshops for pennys, sold for dollars and marked higher and higher as they progress to the public.

Dave may have been "cringe worthy" in actions, but , I do not think he was a monster, and I do think the vendor got a taste of his own medicine, trust me, THEY do not care if they embarrass or bother you ,, now do they?

Repeat, we are not talking about the mentally ill, beggers, or addicts, so please stop with the melodrama.. next you'll have Dave kicking mentally ill, drug addicted, begging babies,,

Clifton

PalQ - &quot;<i>Funny how those poor Rome street vendors, nearly all south asian it seems or Blacks when i was there a few weeks ago how they all seem to speak some English

this segment of society - presumably uneducated, etc. can converse enough in English to sell things</i>&quot;

Not sure I find that all that surprising. Six yr olds in Cambodia speak english really well, almost always with adorable French accents, as they chase you through tourist areas. Villages here have no doors or windows and palm leaves as roofs. Many of the kids have never been inside a school, the schools themselves don't teach English (or French) and most of their parents don't speak anything but Khmer either. We asked our driver how that was possible. &quot;They learn it because they must to live&quot;. Kind of made sense to me.

---

I'm curious though - are street vendors really that bad in Rome? I mean, maybe compared to less well off countries? Reading this, I have sort of flashbacks to Morocco going in my head. Is that accurate?

Ronda

In the end, it is how do you feel about yourself and the exchange that has just occurred? I find saying a firm 'no thank you' leaves me feeling just fine about myself and doesn't raise my blood pressure.

francophiletasmania

Perhaps you should pretend to be Australian? When we (politely) refused a photo opportunity with a &quot;centurion&quot; at the Colosseum in Rome, he wandered off muttering - though loudly - &quot;Stingy skippies&quot; so I'm assuming we have a reputation.
I treasure this memory BTW.

I find if you treat others as you would wish to be treated (does that ring a bell anyone?) you'll be able to look at yourself in the mirror WITHOUT having to say: &quot;Here is the cause of all my problems&quot;.

bozama

Is a &quot;skippy&quot; an Australian, I have never heard that expression before.

cathies

skippy is a nickname for Kangaroos. It evolved from a TV show in the 1960's or 70's that featured a Kangaroo called Skippy.

Padraig

Are kangaroos Australian?

bellastarr

Clifton, regarding the heavy influx of Chinese, S. Asians, and Africans into Italy (many of whom end up selling stuff on the street illegally), it has become a real issue in recent years and is quite a problem for Italians.

I go to Italy often and have seen the changes in places like Florence and Rome. I have also heard the there are areas like the Prato in Tuscany where Chinese immigrant have fairly overrun the region. It's a tragic situation in many ways.

So I've been approached by, let's say more than one of those street vendors. But my opinion of responding to them by following them around and loudly mocking them remains as I stated above. I think there are many better ways to fend them off, yet keep one's self respect.

suze

bottom line some people here think mocking the vendors was funny and OK, some people think it was inappropriate, rude, not necessary.

SeaUrchin

One is annoying and one is demeaning. The vendors annoy me at times but they don't demean me. I am the person lucky enough to have the money to travel and not have to be selling trinkets.

MissPrism

My daughter has just returned from Rome and I asked her about the vendors.
She said that there were just the usual Africans selling handbags and they only approached if people were actually looking.
Of course, it was off-season and my daughter and her friend dress normally and have made a few visits to Rome.

It occurred to me that Rome must have many tourists from Europe and also from other parts of Italy.
I wonder if the aggressive vendors go for all nationalities,

PalenQ

I was in rome in Feb and found the street vendors everywhere - yeh mainly Blacks laying down their blankets and trinkets in places like Pza Nuovona, Colosseum area, etc

But at the Trevi Fountain where folks are perhaps more accessible and numerous i did find the southasion 'vendors' of the sticks that glow, flying birds, etc. often were slow to take no for an answer and yes kind of shove wares in your face

Yet they were not over aggressive (and i sat and mainly watched their actions for some time) but there were so many of them that it seemed over aggressive - one leaves and another comes with roses or whatever.

Definitely a bother in a place like the Trevi that is normally rather romantic

clevelandbrown

I think street vendors make the same type of judgment our children make: if they think you are serious when you say no, they will stop the behavior; if, on the other hand, they have reason to doubt that you will stand by your guns, they will disregard your noes, and keep up the offending behavior.

The street vendor has only so much time to sell his wares, and I think they would not be able to continue in business if they wasted their time on someone who absolutely will not buy. So while I hate to judge someone I don't know, I think there must be something in the OP's demeanor that leads the street vendors to continue their sales pitch after his nominal noes. I don't know what exactly the secret is, but there are people who, without yelling or being rude, can make clear that they are not a mark.

Clifton

Thanks bellastar, just curiousity on my part and for future reference. Apologies for the delay in acknowledging your response. Weekend trip.


On dealing with aggressive vendors pretty much anywhere, it seemes like the surest way is just like clevelandbrown says. A fast &quot;no&quot; and move on, or even no response at all. I find it's hard sometime, coming from the midwest, to be that abrupt (but I don't mean rude or nasty). But a walk through souks somewhere, or any tourist spot in Asia and you get the hang of it. Someone spies you and starts making a beeline. You don't look, not even glance, at the wares. Just &quot;no thanks&quot; and without pausing or making eye contact you just keep walking. It works.

We were in Casablanca, or first full day in Morocco, at the train station and my wife was up ahead of me. I was lugging an extra bag and bringing up the rear. Two guys lingering around the top of the stairs that takes you down to the cut across to the other platform. They spot us a mile off and stop talking. &quot;So, where are you going today??&quot;. My wife whips right by them and never even pauses or looks over at the infamous guide service about to be offered. &quot;La shukran&quot; (no thank you in Arabic) she says quick and firm and down the stairs she goes. The guy looks at me and starts laughing. &quot;Already she knows the 'La Shukran'!!&quot; with a big dramatic wave. Maybe you had to be there, but at the time, it was perfect.

agilepagile

I can't believe how long this Suze person has been commenting on this post. We're talking 72 hours on this one post! C'mon Suze, get a life! Don't you have a real job or a family or a boyfriend. Maybe buy a TV and spend less useless time chastising poor Dave for giving his opinion. Try reading a book or doing something meaningful instead of continually criticizing Dave for saying something so petty.

suze

nice

caroline_edinburgh

&quot;She said that there were just the usual Africans selling handbags and they only approached if people were actually looking.&quot;

That has been my experience too in 5 visits to Rome, so I am rather baffled about the original scenario described here. The only place I've ever encountered agressive vendors/would-be guides was Marrakech and I gather that is better nowadays.

PalenQ

I must say the itinerant street vendors i watched recently at the Trevi Fountain were rather aggressive - if you didn't like one of their products they'd pull out another

or not take your first no for an answer - these were all southeast asians and not the black trinkett sellers who seem always to sit on the pavement with their wares spread out and sit rather passively unless you look interested

Faux_Paw

I'm left with the feeling that I must have misread the OP. Did Dave actually push an 80 y/o woman to the ground simply because she asked him for directions to the hospital? No, but the reaction of several posters makes it seem like he committed an act as heinous as that.

Whether he was rude, or not, many of the admonishments have been quite rude back to him --all while sitting on the high horse of perfect civility and decorum.

Bleh.

He's apologized, been pretty respectful, tried to explain more fully, tried to understand the points made to him, and even admitted it may have been better to have simply said no, and still it's like he'd pushed an elderly woman down in the street instead of having simply reacted differently, and perhaps, some some say, inappropriately.

I don't understand (nor do I care to, this isn't an invitation to explain why to me) the hostility towards him, the need to beret him post after post despite his civil replies to everyone, the ignorant generalizations about &quot;rude _____&quot; fill in the blank, nor the blindness certain posters have to their own rude behavior.

Whatever his behavior, he has my sympathy regarding many of the reactions in this thread.