Traveling with Friends - How do you figure out how to do about it and stay friends.
Jul 19th, 2007, 07:05 AM
#21
I think it would be wise to have a few "planning meetings" of the entire group before the trip. Iron out the details about how you will handle paying for meals, as example. Finances more than any other single issue is where this can go bad imo.
As for what to see & do, maybe each person could be in charge of 1 day? But if anyone doesn't want to do what is planned they should be free to go off on their own (again just my opinion).
As for what to see & do, maybe each person could be in charge of 1 day? But if anyone doesn't want to do what is planned they should be free to go off on their own (again just my opinion).
Jul 19th, 2007, 07:16 AM
#23
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Maybe it's easier to travel with friends than family, kybourbon 
Friends you usually are willing to cut some slack while family you expect to get it right from the start
We traveled for almost two weeks in France with another couple who we have known for years. We used one credit card dedicated to all of our shared expenses, created a kitty for the small change common expenses and we rotated through each person the responsibility of choosing each days activites so we all got to experience our highlights. We also had some separate activities and then met for dinner to share our stories.
It worked so well for us we will be traveling with the same couple next spring to Italy. Deborah
Friends you usually are willing to cut some slack while family you expect to get it right from the startWe traveled for almost two weeks in France with another couple who we have known for years. We used one credit card dedicated to all of our shared expenses, created a kitty for the small change common expenses and we rotated through each person the responsibility of choosing each days activites so we all got to experience our highlights. We also had some separate activities and then met for dinner to share our stories.
It worked so well for us we will be traveling with the same couple next spring to Italy. Deborah
Jul 19th, 2007, 07:52 AM
#25
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Communication, communication!!
We are going to Italy for 3 weeks (my parents and in-laws in their late 50's, hubby and I in our 30's and my little bro in his late 20's).
My bro has to be on a budget, so when I was planning accomodations I had input...although they all left it up to me. I run every decision by everyone and had everyone put a deposit in a year and a half ago that they had to give-up if they backed out.
I also asked everyone to prepay as much as possible (if not to the company supplying services, then to me) so that the rest of us werent left scrambling if someone (my bro) backed out. We prepaid our cars, villa rentals, airline tickets (everyone booked their own), train tickets, and some tours and our last nights hotel in Rome.
I also prepared a detailed budget prior and kept a running total so there were no surprises. We will be spending most time together, but plan to break up for some dinner etc. Basically all thats left is spending money...so everyone can spend what they can afford, all the big stuff is paid for.
I'll report back to let you know how it worked...we are going in Sept!
Best of luck!
Jamie
We are going to Italy for 3 weeks (my parents and in-laws in their late 50's, hubby and I in our 30's and my little bro in his late 20's).
My bro has to be on a budget, so when I was planning accomodations I had input...although they all left it up to me. I run every decision by everyone and had everyone put a deposit in a year and a half ago that they had to give-up if they backed out.
I also asked everyone to prepay as much as possible (if not to the company supplying services, then to me) so that the rest of us werent left scrambling if someone (my bro) backed out. We prepaid our cars, villa rentals, airline tickets (everyone booked their own), train tickets, and some tours and our last nights hotel in Rome.
I also prepared a detailed budget prior and kept a running total so there were no surprises. We will be spending most time together, but plan to break up for some dinner etc. Basically all thats left is spending money...so everyone can spend what they can afford, all the big stuff is paid for.
I'll report back to let you know how it worked...we are going in Sept!
Best of luck!
Jamie
Jul 19th, 2007, 08:33 AM
#27
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I just returned from Paris with ONE friend - that's a lot different than travelling with FIVE friends but maybe what worked for us will help you. We started out KNOWING that we'd spent our days as solo travellers. We rented cell phones for less than $100 CDN each from Blue Marble. We agreed that we'd talk to each other by 6 or 7pm to decide where we'd meet at around 8pm. We spent from 8pm to 3am with each other each night - mostly we sat in cafes and restaurants (we're around 40 yrs old so clubbing wasn't something we wanted to do) but we did a LOT of walking together and went to at least three different places each night and a different neighbourhood each night, too. We really liked the cell phone idea as it would have been way too difficult to know each morning where we wanted to meet by the end of the day.
Jul 19th, 2007, 08:53 AM
#28
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I've never done the "kitty" approach to dining, nor do I trouble waiters with splitting tabs while traveling abroad. It's just understood that everybody has cash and will pay their own portion of the tab. Like travel_addict, I don't ever have a large tab (never drink alcohol) and don't think it's right for me to have to subsidize other people who make three times what I make. Luckily, my friends are cool and would never try to pass on their high tabs to those of us who have smaller budgets and appetites.
Jul 19th, 2007, 09:08 AM
#29
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Obviously everyone has different things that work for them.
On a recent trip to Prague with my mother and aunt I kept track of most expenses, including the hotel, some meals, tickets etc and we sorted everything out when we got home. My mother often spends a month with her sisters, partners and assorted cousins in France and they have developed a common kitty that works very well for them. They pay for all meals, grocery shopping and petrol and after many years have fairly clear idea of per day costs, which helps when someone is joining them for a couple of days. I think this approach works well for a long holiday and where the people are very close.
While we travel with family we haven't really travelled with friends, generally we're pretty laid back and our attitude is to relax, after all we can see things next time. Generally this doesn't gell well with people we travel less and was to see as much as possible, worrying they may not make it back to Rome, or Paris or wherever else.
On a recent trip to Prague with my mother and aunt I kept track of most expenses, including the hotel, some meals, tickets etc and we sorted everything out when we got home. My mother often spends a month with her sisters, partners and assorted cousins in France and they have developed a common kitty that works very well for them. They pay for all meals, grocery shopping and petrol and after many years have fairly clear idea of per day costs, which helps when someone is joining them for a couple of days. I think this approach works well for a long holiday and where the people are very close.
While we travel with family we haven't really travelled with friends, generally we're pretty laid back and our attitude is to relax, after all we can see things next time. Generally this doesn't gell well with people we travel less and was to see as much as possible, worrying they may not make it back to Rome, or Paris or wherever else.
Jul 19th, 2007, 10:08 AM
#30
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In our travels with friends, we find it's advantageous to have a few side trips ( my wife and I alone ) and days apart, interspersed with the together time. Sometimes separate cars or at least a day or two here and there alone really helps with the potential for trouble. Most of us have some imbedded habits that our spouses have learned to live with, and to ask that same tolerance of even your closest of friends is asking for too much I think. This has worked well for us every time and my better half is not terribly adaptable.
Jul 19th, 2007, 10:24 AM
#31
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In response to Kenav, the Kitty does not have to be an actual purse full of money. For our group of 14, we elected a single credit card and each of us topped it up with the designated amount for that person (see remarks on pre-arrangment of stipend for non-drinker, person who was only joining us for one week etc).
Then we used that one card for all joint expenses (restaurants, grocery shopping for villa, rental cars etc.). If there was money over, it would be split in the formula we developed at our original meeting.(And equally if there was a debit, there would be money received in the way the individual had committed to.) We have used this plan a number of times and are still friends.
However, for admittance to museums, casual cups of coffee, folks are on their own: that much togetherness, nobody needs!
Then we used that one card for all joint expenses (restaurants, grocery shopping for villa, rental cars etc.). If there was money over, it would be split in the formula we developed at our original meeting.(And equally if there was a debit, there would be money received in the way the individual had committed to.) We have used this plan a number of times and are still friends.
However, for admittance to museums, casual cups of coffee, folks are on their own: that much togetherness, nobody needs!
Jul 19th, 2007, 11:14 AM
#32
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kybourbon, I use individual credit cards for deposits and email them everyone the cancellation policies. Since I will often prepay a hotel to get a discount, we have already paid for our rooms for 10 nights of the twelve night trip.
I also use individual credit cards to book tours, museum reservations, car service, etc.
Since waiting in line is not popular with any of us, I pre-booked the more popular musuems in advance - through the hotel - and we have confirmed entry times. I am not a fan of last minute decisions for the biggies (Accademia, for instance, where waits can be hours) and these are simple to book ahead for a small fee.
I use the kitty system when I am travelling with a group of seniors. It is easier for them for me to handle the money and I feel safer if they do not have a lof of cash on them.
My group talked about each picking up a dinner but then there is the issue of which place is more expensive, etc. We came to a consensus to split the checks for shared meals.
We all like good food and good wine so do not have an issue with one person/couple spending more than another.
I also use individual credit cards to book tours, museum reservations, car service, etc.
Since waiting in line is not popular with any of us, I pre-booked the more popular musuems in advance - through the hotel - and we have confirmed entry times. I am not a fan of last minute decisions for the biggies (Accademia, for instance, where waits can be hours) and these are simple to book ahead for a small fee.
I use the kitty system when I am travelling with a group of seniors. It is easier for them for me to handle the money and I feel safer if they do not have a lof of cash on them.
My group talked about each picking up a dinner but then there is the issue of which place is more expensive, etc. We came to a consensus to split the checks for shared meals.
We all like good food and good wine so do not have an issue with one person/couple spending more than another.
Jul 19th, 2007, 11:36 AM
#33
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SO many good tips here, but I'll dare to add one or two:
If staying in hotels, definitely let everyone handle their own payments. This is completely do-able: get approval on a couple of choices, ensure that space is available and give a firm deadline to book. Being able to do so online makes it all so easy. And don't worry about all being in the same hotel: Paris has hundreds, in every price range.
I did a week+ in Paris with a shifting group: we arrived and left on different days, with 5-6 overlapping. One couple went totally upscale with hotel, which was fine: they were happy, and we were happy. (And since they had an unannounced plan to make a baby on the trip, they definitely made a good choice.)
Some of us travelled together, but we were like 8 friends all living abroad: few group plans were made more than 24 hours in advance, and the last day there were at least 5 separate plans in action. As long as no one is left unwillingly ALONE, who cares what the others are doing with their afternoon? Some want to shop every day, some want to go to the races ... vive la difference! The great thing with a group is that if one is exhausted (or hung over) and just wants to stay in one morning, they can send their partner off with the friends. It can be great.
I second the idea that a person who doesn't spend half the amount at dinner should be considered (but don't go crazy about pennies) . A non-drinker should ask for a discussion before hand: wine and cocktails can add up to more than half the bill in no time. And if you have a "oenophile" at the table, beyond that. It's easy enough to separate the booze from the beans when totting up the check. I not only would hate to leave a tea-totaler at home, but I wouldn't ask her to pay for my wine and spirits, any more than she would ask me to pay for her facial at the salon.
If staying in hotels, definitely let everyone handle their own payments. This is completely do-able: get approval on a couple of choices, ensure that space is available and give a firm deadline to book. Being able to do so online makes it all so easy. And don't worry about all being in the same hotel: Paris has hundreds, in every price range.
I did a week+ in Paris with a shifting group: we arrived and left on different days, with 5-6 overlapping. One couple went totally upscale with hotel, which was fine: they were happy, and we were happy. (And since they had an unannounced plan to make a baby on the trip, they definitely made a good choice.)
Some of us travelled together, but we were like 8 friends all living abroad: few group plans were made more than 24 hours in advance, and the last day there were at least 5 separate plans in action. As long as no one is left unwillingly ALONE, who cares what the others are doing with their afternoon? Some want to shop every day, some want to go to the races ... vive la difference! The great thing with a group is that if one is exhausted (or hung over) and just wants to stay in one morning, they can send their partner off with the friends. It can be great.
I second the idea that a person who doesn't spend half the amount at dinner should be considered (but don't go crazy about pennies) . A non-drinker should ask for a discussion before hand: wine and cocktails can add up to more than half the bill in no time. And if you have a "oenophile" at the table, beyond that. It's easy enough to separate the booze from the beans when totting up the check. I not only would hate to leave a tea-totaler at home, but I wouldn't ask her to pay for my wine and spirits, any more than she would ask me to pay for her facial at the salon.
Jul 19th, 2007, 01:49 PM
#34
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"The great thing with a group is that if one is exhausted (or hung over) and just wants to stay in one morning, they can send their partner off with the friends. It can be great."
Super idea. I just wish I had thought of that on our last trip!
Super idea. I just wish I had thought of that on our last trip!
Jul 19th, 2007, 06:10 PM
#35
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I'm travelling with my parents and in-laws. This is the second time and the first went well in Paris.
This time we are driving through Austria and Germany.
To minimize leadership issues I made it clear to one couple that the city locations were already set and they were welcome to join us.
But its good to give leader types some ownership to things in the trip so they have a feeling of control/contribution. e.g., delegate somebody to book the vehicle,
a hotel in a certain city, a couple of sightseeing points...
Don't be too rigid in your schedule but have some clear points of interest and keep it flexible.
I'm still trying to figute out how to manage the dinner bill...
This time we are driving through Austria and Germany.
To minimize leadership issues I made it clear to one couple that the city locations were already set and they were welcome to join us.
But its good to give leader types some ownership to things in the trip so they have a feeling of control/contribution. e.g., delegate somebody to book the vehicle,
a hotel in a certain city, a couple of sightseeing points...
Don't be too rigid in your schedule but have some clear points of interest and keep it flexible.
I'm still trying to figute out how to manage the dinner bill...
Jul 19th, 2007, 07:20 PM
#36
This doesn't apply to a group or the original post (sorry off topic), but with two people, two cities, we divided it exactly. One of us planned, paid for everything in Paris (he'd been there before). I planned, payed for everything Venice (i'd been before).
Jul 19th, 2007, 09:25 PM
#37
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Traveling with 5 others? You need to read this one 
"This is Why I Will Always Travel Solo From Now: Trip Report -Rome and Sorrento"
http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=34698212
"This is Why I Will Always Travel Solo From Now: Trip Report -Rome and Sorrento"
http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=34698212
Jul 20th, 2007, 01:43 AM
#38
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We have been going on holiday with our 2 friends for the past 6 years. The longest holiday was last year when we toured New Zealand in a hire car. No problems at all! We all share the same interests. Just lucky I guess!
Jul 20th, 2007, 07:16 AM
#39
I think paying for meals is the easy part. Just make sure some or most have cash. Everyone put in the amount they have spent (or give cash to one person using their credit card). It's not that hard to figure out a ballpark figure. This accomodates drinkers, nondrinkers, big eaters, light eaters, etc. Pay for what you have!
Jul 20th, 2007, 07:48 AM
#40
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I've got a group of friends (we are three families in Sydney, Australia) who travel with us. Our children are the same age as we met in Prenatal classes 17 yrs ago. Altogether there are 4 kids - as there are twins. As I love organising the trips, I do all the research, send them a few choices, and then I do all the liaising for the accommodation. Last October we shared a villa in Tuscany for a week. Each made their own way to Europe (two families came a week earlier, we stayed a couple of weeks later and visited family in Dublin as well as visiting Rome (with one family - I organised an apartment)) and we met at the villa. We rented our cars. The owner of Villa Aquilea (which is absolutely fabulous - sleeps 12) suggested each family pay him by PayPal.
We went with a kitty situation for the groceries and alcohol. For the meals out, we just divvied the bill by 3 for for the three families.
I must say we are all very relaxed about the money. I try to find the best value without skimping. No one has any particular diet or drink issues so we don't have any issues there. We all like to eat and have long dinners with lots of wine, and now of course limoncello.
One person can get a bit testy, but we've known that for 17 years and just try to go with the flow. Sometimes it helps to have a difficult person because everyone can vent over his/her latest flareup. It's a bit cathartic. I must say I totally lost it when my husband had his wallet pickpocketed in Rome later on. It meant all my cards were cancelled and I had a month's travel thoughout Europe and the US for work starting the following week. I had warned him, but he didn't listen and had his wallet in his side pocket on the metro. But that's another story.
One family gets up at the crack of dawn, we tend to sleep in. The two girls are almost vampires while the two boys are out exploring the countryside very early. Again, we do our own thing. I had booked tickets for the Ufizzi and Acccademia for all of us but 3 decided to spend the time by the pool at the villa. So be it.
In fact, our only regret was that one week is too short - you can't get to relax if you do all the sightseeing you want to.
We have a great time, don't hesitate to sit out if we don't want to do anything.
One thing that helps is that my husband is a chef and loves to cook for large groups. The kids help out and one of my friends is Italian and she is a wonderful cook. She and DH rally enjoy going to the markets and cooking up a great meal.
I'm in the midst of organising a two week holiday to Bali in April. The kids will be in their final years of school. We are doing the villa route again - one week in Seminyak and one week in the rice fields. This time we are flying together as we can get a group booking which means we don't have to confirm and pay until a few weeks before we leave. A few other people are also spending a week with us. This time we will have our breakfasts cooked and daily maid service.
I find travelling this way gives so much more flexibility and value for money. My husband is now very senior with a global hotel company. While we get great rates, the last place he wants to be is in a hotel when he is holidaying as he would spend around a week per month travelling with work.
We loved Tuscany so much, we are considering setting up some food tours in Tuscany with my Italian friend and her husband as a semi retirement option. I would be very interested to hear if anyone has done this? We are looking at Italian lessons.
We went with a kitty situation for the groceries and alcohol. For the meals out, we just divvied the bill by 3 for for the three families.
I must say we are all very relaxed about the money. I try to find the best value without skimping. No one has any particular diet or drink issues so we don't have any issues there. We all like to eat and have long dinners with lots of wine, and now of course limoncello.
One person can get a bit testy, but we've known that for 17 years and just try to go with the flow. Sometimes it helps to have a difficult person because everyone can vent over his/her latest flareup. It's a bit cathartic. I must say I totally lost it when my husband had his wallet pickpocketed in Rome later on. It meant all my cards were cancelled and I had a month's travel thoughout Europe and the US for work starting the following week. I had warned him, but he didn't listen and had his wallet in his side pocket on the metro. But that's another story.
One family gets up at the crack of dawn, we tend to sleep in. The two girls are almost vampires while the two boys are out exploring the countryside very early. Again, we do our own thing. I had booked tickets for the Ufizzi and Acccademia for all of us but 3 decided to spend the time by the pool at the villa. So be it.
In fact, our only regret was that one week is too short - you can't get to relax if you do all the sightseeing you want to.
We have a great time, don't hesitate to sit out if we don't want to do anything.
One thing that helps is that my husband is a chef and loves to cook for large groups. The kids help out and one of my friends is Italian and she is a wonderful cook. She and DH rally enjoy going to the markets and cooking up a great meal.
I'm in the midst of organising a two week holiday to Bali in April. The kids will be in their final years of school. We are doing the villa route again - one week in Seminyak and one week in the rice fields. This time we are flying together as we can get a group booking which means we don't have to confirm and pay until a few weeks before we leave. A few other people are also spending a week with us. This time we will have our breakfasts cooked and daily maid service.
I find travelling this way gives so much more flexibility and value for money. My husband is now very senior with a global hotel company. While we get great rates, the last place he wants to be is in a hotel when he is holidaying as he would spend around a week per month travelling with work.
We loved Tuscany so much, we are considering setting up some food tours in Tuscany with my Italian friend and her husband as a semi retirement option. I would be very interested to hear if anyone has done this? We are looking at Italian lessons.
