I came across this in a British tabloid and thought some of you might find it funny...

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,5-2004522043,00.html

...or maybe you won't.

>"Is Dorking something English people do?" <

"Do you like Kipling?"
"I don't know. I've never kippled."

Ira -

Tour bus driver: "And just over there, ladies and gentlemen, is the site where King John signed the Magna Carta."
Tourist: "When was that?"
Driver: "1215, sir."
Tourist: "Damn. Missed it by 45 minutes."

This isn't a stupid tourist question, but I was present when someone complained about the Paris Metro map. "It's not even in English." GAAAAAA!! I was so ashamed that this person was part of my travel group.

Too funny!

Wonderful! Thank you, Taggie!

Once in Moscow I was looking at a Paganini LP on a shelf(yes, it was long ago) and asked the sales girl who's playing. She just shrugged her shoulders: dunno, probably himself.

PBProvence and I were flying down the autoroute one day, going by Castelnaudary. PB turned to the other two passengers in the car and said "we're going by Castelnaudary now, the birthplace of cassoulet."

Response: "Who was he?"

Well? Who the heck was he?

I thought Fodorites might have some good ones of their own and you aren't disappointing me!

Once, our tour bus was unloading us for a shopping stop in Wales... when told we'd be picked up on the other side of the street in an hour, a woman asked the guide "Where's the other side of the street?"

I also must say that, living in Canada, we get our share of US visitors expressing surprise that we don't all live in igloos (no one on here, though!).

Overheard on a visit to the Magic Kingdom at Disneyworld, during the 25th anniversary celebration...

Woman gazing up at the Swiss Family Robinson treehouse (I think it is now called Tarzan's Treehouse, or something like that), says to her companion, "My goodness, how old do you think that tree is?"

Hmmm, 25 years, I'm thinking....

I've always liked the response to a request for driving directions, where the local says, in broken English, "I dunno. You can't get there from here."

I work at a visitors bureau and we get some stupid questions now and then. This is a popular resort town, and a woman called once and asked me, 'do you have banks there'? I didn't say anything as I was sure it was a friend playing a joke. I finally said, 'You're serious, aren't you'? And she said, 'I've never been there, maam'! LOL

I'm two hours from Mackinac Island and there is a bridge that spans the straits of Mackinaw that is five miles long. People near there have been asked at what time the bridge swings over to the island.

My favorite though happened while I was working at a hotel downtown. A couple checked into a room that had a view of West Grand Traverse Bay, which is off Lake Michigan. They later went to dinner in the hotel and were complaining so much that the waitress asked them if everything was ok. She told them that it was not, that they had been told on check in that from their room, they'd be able to see whales spouting in the bay! LOL That of course was not only untrue, but absurd, and the couple being from MI shoulda had a clue!

Due to the ambiguity inherent in the English language, the thread title can mean either "Stupid questions posed by tourists" or "Questions posed by stupid tourists." There should be no doubt which this is:

http://www.fodors.com/forums/pgMessa...p;tid=34540760

Taggie: I'm horribly embarrassed when Americans comment on how well Canadians speak English. OK, I don't hear that a lot, but enough to make me cringe. And I don't think they mean people from Quebec.

And TW says my name is unoriginal. Hers for me is unoriginal AND immature. Who cares about unoriginal; I just need a name to remember. Plus, she types very badly. Anyway, TW, I hate to admit this, but we agree - my point was that Canadians speak English - some, not all, Americans do not realize this and I find it embarrassing. Now calm down.

Overheard in Burburry, London store, quite a number of years ago:

American woman: How much is this?

Proper, polite salesman: That is 150 pounds, Madam.

American woman: How much is that in real money?

of course, maybe that woman could type better than I

the above should be 'Burberry'

I am shocked that when a Quebecer goes to another province that people dont speak to him or her in French. Also I have heard about the rudest Bostonians working in stores, restaurants and cafes pretending not to know how to speak French when a group of Parisians came to town!

Overheard in a bar right outside Osan AB, Korea many years ago:

Second Lt: Hell, I'll buy a round for the whole damn place! This funny money is dirt cheap at 40,000 Korean Won to the Dollar. Keep those drinks coming!

It was actually 400 won to the dollar, but who was I to spoil his fun. Second Lts, you got to love them. I know the 50 amused and soon to be very drunk guys in the bar did.