Standing-Room-Only "seats" on Airlines

Old Apr 28th, 2006, 11:01 AM
  #101  
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,098
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Saw this one today as well...funny!

http://www.borowitzreport.com/
Ahh what the who...I'll just copy the article here.

AIRLINES TO STOW PASSENGERS IN OVERHEAD BINS

Bold New Strategy to Boost Sagging Revenues

Struggling with rising fuel costs and sagging profits, several leading airlines announced today that they would attempt to boost their revenues by stowing passengers in their aircrafts’ overhead bins.

After Airbus announced earlier this week that it was toying with the idea of introducing standing room areas for passengers in the rear of their planes, the airlines decided that the time was right to pitch the idea of stowing passengers in a part of the plane that has customarily been reserved for carry-on luggage.

“Stowing passengers in the overhead bins should allow us to squeeze a few extra dollars out of every flight, and right now, every extra dollar counts,” said Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for the airlines group. “Plus, since they’ll be stuffed up there for the duration of the flight, we won’t have to give them peanuts.”

While the proposal to stow passengers in the dark, cramped compartments was hailed by the airline industry as a bold innovation, consumer watchdog groups complained that the option of riding in the overhead bins would not be available to tall or obese passengers.

Ms. Foyler acknowledged that the overhead bins would mainly be used to stow “smaller, more compact passengers,” but said larger passengers could check themselves as luggage and be stored in the cargo hold.

“The only caveat is that if you check yourself as luggage you are dramatically increasing your chances of being lost forever,” she said.

JAGIRL is offline  
Old Apr 28th, 2006, 11:29 AM
  #102  
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 898
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
I was about to protest being stowed in the overhead bins, but I guess that's better than the cargo-hold. But, then, do they get peanuts? hmmm
Maire is offline  
Old Apr 28th, 2006, 11:38 AM
  #103  
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 10,380
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Where's Robespierre when you need him, maybe he can figure out a way to correct this super-wide frame that's now appearing.

Maire

I'm assuming Jon Stewart is a late-night comedian a la David Letterman? (Sorry, couldn't get your link to work, so thanks for posting the quote.)

I'm also hoping Jon Stewart has a great mind....
Sue_xx_yy is offline  
Old Apr 28th, 2006, 11:44 AM
  #104  
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 898
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Sue --
Yes, he's a comedian and very bright....so you're safe! Great minds think alike. I did think that was interesting that he came up with the same image.
Maire is offline  
Old Apr 28th, 2006, 12:06 PM
  #105  
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,113
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
JAGIRL,
thanks for the article, I am LMAOROFLMAO etc...
Ziana is offline  
Old Apr 28th, 2006, 12:18 PM
  #106  
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,098
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
And someone sent me this one this morning...even has a picture of Hannibal all strapped in!

http://www.knoxviews.com/node/824

Suggestions in the article:

1) Maybe they should open up the cargo bay, too. They could have people-sized crates like you ship dogs in, with little food and water dishes.

2) Suspended animation tubes!





JAGIRL is offline  
Old Apr 28th, 2006, 02:02 PM
  #107  
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 19,000
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Maire, I can't fix the frame on this thread (unless I can convince
Fodor's to adopt my modification to their server script), but fyi, I used

http://www.tinyurl.com

to convert your super-wide URL to this: http://tinyurl.com/phkpr
Robespierre is offline  
Old Apr 28th, 2006, 03:52 PM
  #108  
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,204
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Marie,
Thanks for writing out the material. I know other people that have trouble getting the link (I have a PC, so maybe the MACs have trouble?) and these days, the only way I can handle the news is a la Jon Stewart!
artlover is offline  
Old Apr 28th, 2006, 03:59 PM
  #109  
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 153
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
anyone remember Babylon 5? The Membari slept standing up. Similar to the proposed standing seats. Star Trek helped shape the future, now they're turning to Babylon 5. Ok too much the geek, sorry.
BettyBoop is offline  
Old Apr 28th, 2006, 04:20 PM
  #110  
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 4,129
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Hm...if I check myself as checked luggage, should I label myself fragile or can I fight back if they decide to throw me? Can I go down the luggage chute? What should I wear when I do this?

I wonder how many places I'd see as lost luggage?
mcnyc is offline  
Old Apr 28th, 2006, 04:41 PM
  #111  
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 898
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Robespierre--thank you! I was wondering how to do that. . . so you just enter it there, and that's it? Sorry, everyone for making this frame big.

Artlover--you're welcome, glad to do it.
Maire is offline  
Old Apr 29th, 2006, 07:52 PM
  #112  
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 19,000
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Well, you enter it at tinyurl and then cut-and-paste the resulting tiny url over here.
Robespierre is offline  
Old May 1st, 2006, 04:13 AM
  #113  
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,113
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
TO: Federal Aviation Administration
> >
> > Our airline industry is in real trouble, and it's time
> > to start fixing this before it's too late. To that end,
> > here are some modest suggestions:
> >
> > Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them
> > in the first place.
> >
> > Replace all the female flight attendants with good-
> > looking strippers! What the hell -- the attendants
> > have gotten old and haggard-looking. They don't even
> > serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
> >
> > The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales
> > and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin. And,
> > of course, every heterosexual businessman in this country
> > would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
> >
> > Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't
> > need a salary, thus saving even more money. Hell, I
> > suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the
> > women for working and have them kick back 20% of the
> > tips, including lap dances and "special services."
> >
> > Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear
> > of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a
> > screeching halt and the airline industry would see
> > record revenues.
> >
> > This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle
> > it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability
> > into an asset. Why the hell didn't Bush think of this?
> > Why do I still have to do everything myself?
> >
> > Sincerely,
> >
> > Bill Clinton
Ziana is offline  
Old May 1st, 2006, 02:15 PM
  #114  
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,942
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Personally, I really like Clinton and think he was one of our more attractive presidents...

And the fact that he went for a plump intern gives him a thumbs up!

But he gets a thumbs down for cheating.
ilovetotravel29 is offline  
Old May 1st, 2006, 02:37 PM
  #115  
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 13,192
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts

Stand up FLying . . WOW! . . I had no idea that AeroFlot was so far ahead of it's time! !

Rich
Rich is offline  
Old May 2nd, 2006, 03:50 AM
  #116  
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,113
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Me too pro-Clinton!

What are you talking about, Rich?
Ziana is offline  
Old May 2nd, 2006, 04:56 AM
  #117  
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 13,192
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts

AeroFlot has allowed standing passengers for the last 20 years . . on their domestic flights . .
Rich is offline  
Old May 2nd, 2006, 06:36 AM
  #118  
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,113
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
No they are not.
Ziana is offline  
Old May 2nd, 2006, 06:42 AM
  #119  
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 19,000
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
I am unfamiliar with the scoring system.

If Clinton gets a thumbs-up because he "went for" a plump intern, what does JFK get for bedding an East German spy, a Mafia moll, and Marilyn Monroe?
Robespierre is offline  
Old May 2nd, 2006, 07:11 AM
  #120  
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,850
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
This is totally off topic, but I love Clinton and JFK, well, he bagged way more than that. Capote wrote a bit on the subject, and I thought it was really interesting, though unflattering for the family.

Going back to the airline thing, was anyone really surprised to hear about this? Businesses really no longer feel the need to be personal or even humane unless there is some serious monetary reason, and those who fly coach cannot give it. More and more people are being objectified because that is the trend. Everyone is out to find the cheapest way while businesses want to make the biggest profit. So, they come up with ideas like this one, where if someone is willing to deal with the discomfort, they can. The real trouble will start when there is no longer an affordable and comfortable option.

I remember the time my orchestra took a ski trip to Colorado. We could either get sleeper buses or regular buses, and the group actually voted for regular buses, which ended up being about $40 cheaper per person. So, in the name of $40, we sat in insanely uncomfortable seats for about 2 days to get to the slopes and play in our little competition, then head back home. I think that was when I started to think that people might just be crazy in general. Which, as we all know, is dangerous, for she who thinks the world is mad must, herself, be just that.
laclaire is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Manage Preferences - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information -