So you want to be a Travelling Loon?

Old Oct 8th, 1999, 03:28 PM
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So you want to be a Travelling Loon?

The Traveling Loons Membership Questionnaire

1) A good hotel has
a) an elevator
b) doors

2) A mattress should be
a) a Sealy Posturepedic with pillow top and indivdually mounted springs
b) flat

3) I like train travel because
a) it's efficient and inexpensive
b) I can read and not get carsick

4) When I'm in a country where I don't speak the language, I
a) feel inadequate and vow to take a language course as soon as I get home
b) scream "if it weren't for us, you'd all be speaking GERMAN!"

5) When renting a car in Europe, you always want to
a) find reverse before you leave the parking lot
b) avoid saying to the rental agent "I don't need no stinkin' key; I can hotwire this bad boy!"

6) The most important thing to pack is
a) water purification tablets
b) the phone number of a good bailbondsman

7) Upon seeing the statue of Venus de Milo, you blurt out in awe
a) "Oh, to be able to create something that beautiful from stone!"
b) "Man, look at the hooters on THAT babe!"

8) Souvenirs should be
a) of high quality and representative of the native culture
b) able to get past the sniffer beagles

9) To capture the true spirit of a country, I take photographs of
a) children playing; elderly men playing
b) two guys peeing against a wall

10)I love trying new foods, but I avoid
a) fruits and vegetables in Third World countries, all organ meats, and unpasteurized dairy products

Old Oct 9th, 1999, 04:44 AM
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I pass! Assuming the answers are all (b) and you are not a bunch of boring farts!!

However, I fail on the language one. That's why i speak one week's worth of the language of everywhere I've been- and keep getting them mixed up!

I fail on the language one too, because if we'd waited for you, you'd be speaking German too!
Old Oct 9th, 1999, 08:28 AM
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So is this one of those politically incorrect sex-restricted clubs, Elvira? Would a single Y chromosome ruin the stew? You all sound like great fun as travel companions, particularly having been a loon (Minnesota resident) at one time in my life.
I would add to your list the following:
11) When travelling in France and Italy, showers are:
a) a refreshing way to start each carefully planned day.
b) not just optional, but best restricted to days starting with the letter 'W'...avoid being pegged as a turista at all costs, save on toiletry expenses, no need to buy bug repellent, protects your 'personal space' on the buses and subways.

12) When flying into the Fresno airport with a novice loon traveller:
a) take the lead in helping them deal with the confusion of the baggage delivery system.
b) point out that those baggage people have no shame...what a dirty trick tagging your luggage with a bag tag labelled FAT.

13) Upon entering a nice hotel restaurant in Acapulco, point out to the novice loon travelling companion that:
a) the restaurant is highly regarded by your local travel agent.
b) the sign at the cash register indicates that, "The manager has personally passed all water served in this restaurant".

14) When using the tube system in London:
a) always mind the gap
b) break up the eerie proper silence on the platforms by riding your wheeled luggage bronco style, bellowing out, "Yeee-haaawww".
Old Oct 9th, 1999, 06:17 PM
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Elvira, you are a true gem...we're not worthy! signed never-thought-i'd-wannabe-a-loon-but-after-reading-yourpost-i-DO!!!
Old Oct 11th, 1999, 03:25 PM
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BMG: you betcha, it's all girls, all the time (PC, SchmeeCee, once that cabin door closes, survival takes up all one's energy). Will try that buckaroo baggage trick; would be especially effective during rush hour.
Sheila: We've been lucky so far; our faces have not appeared on the Immigration List "don't let these people in under any circumstances!!". My father taught me VERY early that, despite what you think, Elvira, YOU are the goofiest person on the face of the earth so don't take yourself seriously a tall a tall. We kill ourselves laughing over our "Miss" Adventures (all one of us has to say is "Nathalie's on break" or "stinkboy and gamey" and we are hysterical for hours). We give each other gifts that recall our traumas (you can bet Rusty is getting cow cards, cow plates, cow windchimes...) as our memories are eternal. We've not yet attacked, I mean, VISITED, Scotland, so your darling country just might deserve a trip in the near future (warn the livestock).
Old Oct 14th, 1999, 12:20 PM
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Next time the Loons HIT london, I want to be an honorary member for a lunch time... if you are in Camden on a weekday, I'll meet you for lunch!!

I pass except the bed one.... I am still scratching the bloody flea bites I got in Paris last weekend... next time I am forking out for a room WITH a toilet and WITHOUT fleas!!!!
Old Oct 14th, 1999, 12:35 PM
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Hey Elvira! I want to know more about that job you have that is dull but pays enough money for all your traveling. What do you do?
Old May 23rd, 2000, 09:28 AM
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Old May 23rd, 2000, 12:16 PM
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And as of today, we also know Elvira has a black belt in karate. So her traveling companions are well protected loons at that.
Old Aug 10th, 2001, 01:16 PM
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To top.
Old Aug 10th, 2001, 02:16 PM
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So glad to se this one revived! I have never seen the explicit qualifications for loon-dom (not loon-iness) before.

Seriously Elvira, who are these women, and how did you find each other?
Old Aug 10th, 2001, 02:41 PM
Book Chick
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Didn't I read that Elvira is (oh, no! I think it's true!) a stockbroker. I think I'd trust her with my money---Elvira put on "Lucky Traveler" in the third race to win!!!!

Love Elvira's posts!
Old Aug 10th, 2001, 02:46 PM
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The Loons sound like fun. We have a similar friendship circle we call Wild Women Adventures. Where are the Loons based out of? Or does it matter in this global village we live in? Do the Loons have a website?
Old Aug 11th, 2001, 08:44 PM
robin -- no, not a red-breast
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And where/when are the Loons flying off to next ???
Old Aug 11th, 2001, 10:56 PM
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Old Aug 12th, 2001, 09:30 AM
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Thank you, Elvira. You made my day. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time!
Old Aug 12th, 2001, 12:42 PM
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I think I too could qualify as a Loon,
Except like Sheila, I did answer A on the language question.
My friend ellen,
(who met my children and self in Formia is DEFINITLY a LOON)
Please let us know if you ever open your club up,
Or maybe guys, we can start a
Loon Fan Club?
Old Aug 12th, 2001, 09:30 PM
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Holy loonacy, Batman, I forgot about this post!

The Loons started out as Elvira and AhGeez, her sister. Then we added Rusty and OldHand (3 of us were off to France, her plans to England got cancelled, so she came with us to France). 3 years later we added NewGirl (who has scratched her plans to buy a house, and spends her money on travel instead) and then NewGirl2. Along came Nieeeece and El Capitaine for the next trip, then lastly, Photog. We live all over the United States (only one deigns to live up north, the rest of us have migrated to warmer climes) and are friends and/or relatives. For a disparate group of girls, we all get along very well. That's not to say we don't get cranky, but nobody gets out of hand (we attribute this to the large amount of alcohol we consume - except for the DH. If we're driving cars or boats, the driver drinks no libations until it's her night off).

This year it's a short crew. Only three of us are going to London/Paris this fall (yes, several of us are in the financial services industry, and we're suffering with everyone else), but next year? We think we'll invade - er - visit Scotland for a couple of weeks. We understand they have alcohol there.
Old Aug 12th, 2001, 10:36 PM
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Elvira-- always a delight to read about the loons.
Old Aug 13th, 2001, 11:44 AM
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Okay, sio we've been speculating on what Elvira looks like. Anyone care to make a stab at Ahgeez and the rest?

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