Do you love your wife? Has she put up with your standout uuugly outfits all these 22 years? Show some class and dress for Paris the way SHE wants you to. Long Khakis or dockers really won't kill you, nor will shirts that button. The travel companies make really nice lightweight wicking creaseproof ones (i just bought two pair one at packinglight.net and one at rei) packing light has super nice button down shirts that you won't want to take off after you feel them -- unfortunately they didn't have my size...-- let her pick them. They also sell many kinds of theft proof bags that will not have her asking you to walk three steps behind. (Remember that French men carry bags) And bring a jacket so that you can invite her to a chic restaurant somewhere with candlelight and have her fall in love with you all over again. The woman deserves a break for heaven's sake!!

Not joking...

TF

The French like golf? Could you elaborate?

There are several "golf courses" near my house in the Dordogne, but they are marred by major turds from wild boars and just hostile terrain. Perhaps there are more civilized golf courses in France, but I'm not aware of them.

Jean Van de Velde. Carnoustie 1999. Great French golfer.

I am thinking about TF's comments. Dockers over dorkers. Makes sense.

Oh, OK...got ya. Yes, dockers. Warmer than white shorts.

Adrienne:
"You'll stick out a mile and be a target for every pickpocket in Paris. They'll all be thinking: "look at that rube - he doesn't have a clue - let's get 'em!!"

The fashionistas will be thinking: "look at that rube - he doesn't have a clue - let's get 'em!!"

Cold:
"My own idea is to hike in Nepal in August with the kids. I think Paris would be better for our 50th anniversary. Of course it's 50/50 we'll still be married then."

"They're probably four sizes too small for me now. But I just wear them low. My wife says they look nice on me."

Finally, the proof that Cold doesn't understand how women think. Your wife is pushing for Paris and just buttering you up with the "looks nice" thing so you will wear it there. She is hoping someone will "get you" now so she won't have to take the 50/50 chance of a fiftieth. She wants it finished now! She just wants to see Paris first.

Be especially wary if she wants you to wear the shorts the first day.

That whirring sound you hear, are Incas spinning in their graves.

Cold, I'm sure that whatever you wear, you'll look stunning.

Cold needs attention.
He will get more than his share in Paris.

I fear that there is no way to choose appropriate socks to live up to the rest of your sartorial splendor.

Yikes... I was happily enjoying this thread until it got to the Tilley Hats! I <i>like</i> my Tilley Hats!

(OK, due disclosure, I am indeed a dork. But seriously, I really wish I had had this hat:
http://www.tilley.com/Tilley-TWF2-Town-Fedora.aspx
in time for my Vienna-during-ball-season trip a couple years back. Being Canadian, I ended up wearing a toque, and a toque just so doesn't go with an overcoat and tailcoat...)

The real issue that everyone is ignoring is that you are about to flash your knees at Paris. Is that a nice thing to do people who brought you french fries.

"I fear that there is no way to choose appropriate socks to live up to the rest of your sartorial splendor."

Au contraire, a pair of purple striped knee socks with garters would give the look just the edge to make sure cold's wife walks 5 blocks ahead of him.

Plus, it's just nifty if he throws around the phrase "au contraire" quite bit before going. That way Mrs. Cold will know that he understands the French culture better than she does. She must be a rube if she doesn't approve of his outfit.

The real issue that everyone is ignoring is that you are about to flash your knees at Paris.

If it is a bright day, the sun could reflect off his ashen knees and blind people.

If there are a few bright days, Cold's legs could redden, creating a colour discord with his bumbag.

Perhaps a sarong might save the day. But in what colour?

Hey my wife says my knees are the most attractive part of my body.

since when do you listen to her?

She's just trying to make you feel better. Does she often say, "try to find something good about the situation?"

That is because your wife is needy.

My wife says my knees remind her of me when we first met. I will ask her why.

Try walking around Paris with an aspirin between them.