Clam Diggers! (not pushers) YES! You will be in the height of fashion. Lucky guy

You will also need a vest with many pockets....

I just thought that clam pushers were street guys who sold mollusks to people with a terrible addiction. But if they are clam diggers you seek than maybe you can also find a disco that specializes in The Twist and The Boogaloo.

The men of southern france, and italy,, wear what I call "MAN'PRIS" like capris,, but really just long shorts that come within a few inches of being what my kids would call flood pants.. so a bit longer then capris,not as narrow a cut, but not as long as pants. I think they look great.

I hate to bring this up but if PalenQ's friend was wearing a fanny pack he would still have his IPhone. And fanny packs go very well with McDonald's decor. Live and learn.

I think that the Tilley TWA1 is the hat for you (although it seems that Tilley left one letter out of the code).

http://www.tilley.com/Tilley-TWA1-Aviator-Hat.aspx

Cold - we are going to be at the Open for the Qualifying rounds so hope to see Raonic.

My husband wears shorts in Paris - Weekender brand which has an inside waistband zip pocket. Don't think you can buy them in Canada unfortunately.

Maxim:
"Whatever you'd wear in Ottawa: wear the opposite in Paris."

The Tilley hat's inventors should be shot.

We call those hats "Tilley Unendurables". Off the chart, on the Dorkmeter.

I was having a quiet sort of day in Tropical Dismal Swamp. Heaven knows what evil demon lead me to this thread! You guys are tres droll!! I can say that louder, if it helps?

Cold: I spent hours on this till I found Pacsafe. Still dorky enough to make you happy, yet cool enough for your ever faithful wife. They are designed as RFID proof and snatch proof and slash proof... REI has a few, but very very few, but at least you can get a feel for them. Also the local travel stores sell them. And of course online. There's also another brand called something like Traveloc but I wasn't as impressed with them.

Almost all of their stuff comes in three sizes too -- 100 200 and 300 (one even also has a 250!)I was able to buy a messenger looking bag that has all the other comforts of a backpack in terms of pockets etc. Not totally dork free (but then since when has an American over 120 pounds ever looked dork-free in Paris or Rome or...) but let your wife and kids help you pick one... and in black not purple lol.

I actually thought about you the other day when deciding whether or not to pack my (designer) polo shirt. Thanks to you and your wife, I voted no lol. But if you're going to be in Cannes I'll say hi -- cuz I'll know you from a million miles away lol.

(BTW it really seriously will affect the level of service that you get in places and whether or not you are admitted certain places. Not just churches either... To the French, dressing like that and coming into their restaurant is like coming in and spitting -- showing no respect. When in France...)

Someone posted this forever ago and I've never forgotten it, which says something right there because I don't even know what a cthulhu is. Looks like it might deter pickpockets, though.

http://www.amazon.com/Cthulhu-Waist-Pouch/dp/B000HQ5UF2

I'm surprised no-one has suggested the one item of clothing that would ensure that all cold's valuables remain well hidden, and his person secure against any sort of unwanted attention (and might even guarantee him a police escort): a burka.

You people truly are the best. So many great ideas. If any of you are ever in Ottawa, except for Tedgale who is here more than he wants to be, I'll pick you up and we can go clothes shopping at Canadian Tire.

Now I feel terrible saying this after so much help but I think I have my wife convinced that we should go to Nepal and not Paris. So I assume the tennis shorts and fanny pack will be just fine, except perhaps in the odd uptight temple? I may start a thread in the Asia Forum.

Off the topic of fun for a moment.

Tilley hats aren't as dorky as the sporting the bandage from getting a spot removed from your face. Be a dork, wear a hat.

Cold, I am so excited for you and your upcoming trip(whichever destination) as you will have the opportunity to re-aquaint yourself with a turkish toilet. I read your Peru trip report and noted your 'aim' deficienties. Maybe if you find a more modern facility that has the newest technology it will help. On the U.S. spaceshuttle they have a camera located in a strategic location to help you get 'correctly aligned' to improve your aim so your shoes can stay clean on this trip.

As for wearing a USA pin I was wondering something. Last year when I entered Ontario at the Fort Frances border it was made QUITE clear by the nice border patrol man that I was not Canadien nor was I in the USA anymore. In fact I had to write out a rather large extortion/bribe/petition fee to the Queen in order to pretend to be Canadien for a short while. Is this a Canadien attitude or just a border patrol bad hair day attitude?

I mean jeez, I'm from Minnesota, our accents are almost the same......

Ziggy - I am very surprised as most Minnesotans are just as backwards as most Canadians. You're one of us as far as we are concerned.

Could it have been the four handguns on the front passenger seat?

Oh I miss CW on threads like this - he would have such fun teasing you about fannypacks and merkins.

I am still confused about what a hat has to do with a bandage on one's face.

There are a million variations on roast dork.

Nothing would make me wear a Tilley hat, L Sky, notwithstanding my spouse's dire experience with melanoma.

There are sunblocks that are almost total in their protection and there are hats with brims that are not dorky.

A Tilley hat looks like an inverted flowerpot or, worse, a canvas spitoon. No thanks.

If you're going to Nepal you will still want to be polite, and it's not polite to show your knees lol. So you didn't get out of it yet lol.

Just remember you are going to encounter extreme poverty.