Bonjour, <BR> <BR>I understand that proper etiquette for restaurants in Paris is different than here in the States. <BR> <BR>What are your tips and pointers? <BR> <BR>Merci, <BR> <BR>Adria <BR>

Sending up -- I too wonder about how to catch the waiter's attention in a restaurant?

When you finish a course, make sure you place your knife and fork neatly together at the 4 o'clock position on your plate. This will signal the waiter that you are finished. If the service is even halfway decent, he will magically appear at your elbow. Otherwise, try to make eye contact, as you would in the States.

Okay, don't snap your fingers or holler "GARCON"....only in really bad movies is that done. <BR>Other things to know: Parisian waiters are professionals, not aspiring actors who are busy discussing their last audition with the other waiters. If you need their attention, just swivel your head until you catch their eye. Believe me, they are on the alert. If you want the bill (you must ask for it; it's not left for you after you order dessert), just - once again - swivel your head around til you catch their eye, then make a scribbling motion in the palm of your hand (first finger and thumb pressed together, then scribble in the palm of your other hand) and ask for the "l'addition, s'il vous plait" (roughly: lah DEE see ohne, see voo play). <BR>Tips are included in the total bill, but it's nice to leave a few coins in the tray. <BR>The French (and pretty much all Europeans) don't switch hands when they are done cutting the meat; they just raise the fork to their mouths. Don't worry about doing that; no one notices. It's sort of fun to try it, though, especially that piling of stuff on the back of the fork. They don't cut salad with a knife; a big lettuce leaf is sort of folded over and over, using the knife to control the flip (try it; see how dextrous you really are). <BR>Coffee is served AFTER dessert; not with, not before. If you want to throw the waiter into a tizzy, ask for coffee INSTEAD of dessert... <BR>Hard liquor is not a common "cocktail"; tourist restaurants will have it, but mostly the French just order a bottle of wine and drink that as their "cocktail". <BR>Bread at lunch and dinner is not served with butter; ask if you want it, but you may have to pay for it. <BR>Non-smoking areas are rare; get used to it and don't do that hideous "ew ew ew" hand-waving thing that Americans do. The French will just look at you with disdain. <BR>If you want to get a coffee or drink at a bar or cafe, it is cheaper to stand at the bar. Don't go sit down at a table with what you bought at the bar or you will be scolded. If you want to sit down, find a table, plop yourself and the waiter appears magically. <BR>Maitres d' are an odd lot; the restaurant opens at 7:00, you walk in at 7:00, there's not a soul in the place, he'll ask if you have a reservations, you'll say no, he'll look around the room with great concern, then with a big sigh, will announce he PROBABLY can find you a seat. Great theater... <BR>The waiter will not announce his name nor will he announce the early bird specials; the special of the day is in the menu (same menu is posted outside each restaurant so you can decide before you go in that it has what you want, and at a price you like). You can ask him for a recommendation and/or an explanation of the dish, and he'll be very happy to oblige. Please don't do that horrible American thing "ok is it made with butter? Can you ask the chef to leave out the butter and use Butterbuds? Can I substitute brown rice for the au gratin potatoes?" First of all, they WON'T and secondly, they'll assume you are an idiot. If you've got a problem with cholesterol, fat, salt, preservatives, refined sugar, yada yada yada...find another country to visit. France ain't for you.... <BR>Tables are REALLY close together; the French speak very quietly, so try to do the same (ok I have a big, booming voice that can cut through lead walls so I really make a conscious effort to tone it down. I'm not doing so well with my roaring laugh). Keep your possessions very close to you; as I said, there's not a lot of room between the tables, so your coat, daypack, shopping bags, etc. are easily in the way. Sometimes there's a coat closet inside the entrance; leave your stuff there, or ask the maitre d' if there is someplace to leave it. <BR>Don't get your knickers in a twist over the whole thing; there are no weird rituals or secret handshakes. If you're nervous, stick to the touristy restaurants that cater to Americans. If you feel brave, wander around a neighborhood that's off the beaten path and find a local restaurant. Nothing like being the only American in a roomful of French (they slide glances at you, hoping you won't notice, then they lean their heads together and start whispering...hee hee) <BR> <BR>

Elvira, I _really_ enjoyed reading your response, well said, that woman!! <BR> <BR>Kavey

eLVIRA, PERFECT - I love it!

First of all, for some reason, restaurants in Paris really appreciate reservations, even if you call on your way over. And, this was never a problem for us - even in English. Whenever you approach a place with tables set up outdoors, if you plan to have a meal, you are welcome at a table set with a placemat and flatware/glassware. If you plan to have only a beverage or snack, choose a bare table. The "professional" service one receives would make one assume they are being ignored, when, in fact, they are not being "bothered". You will never, ever, receive your check until you request it. It is enormously useful to learn at least a few words of French and familiarize yourself with French menus, foods and preparations. The waitstaff understands more English than they are confident with speaking. So, if you attempt even the most rudimentary of discussion, you will be rewarded, whereas if you assume that they "ought to speak English", you will be received in kind.

<BR>Elvira - you go Girl!

Elvira - Your post on this subject was *THE* best I've ever read!!!!!

Elvira's post is brilliant, although I would like to correct her on one point : it is possible to ask for a different side-order without seeming too fussy. It 's called "changement de garniture" : i. e. vegetables instead of mashed potatoes, fries on the side, etc. What might upset an American customer is that in French restaurants you are not always asked your opinion. As a European, I somewhat find it tiresome in an American restaurant to have to answer all those "or" questions : what kind of dressing ? cheddar or Swiss ? wheat or sesame ? plain or toasted ? Gastronomic democracy hasn't reached French restaurants yet, and I must confess it's better like that : just let the professionals do the job ! Another thing for reservations : they are more or less compulsory on week-ends, otherwise, it's pretty laid back, especially if you eat on the early side.

It's amazing, you can read book after book on eating in France and still not ever read some of the basics. So, here are a few I thought I'd throw in to the mix- <BR> <BR>Most Parasians eat dinner later than Americans. You find more tourists in restaurants from 7 to 8pm, while Parisians usually prefer after 8:30. <BR> <BR>For a better table or seating, always eat in the smoking section- this is the prefered eating section in Paris. <BR> <BR>French meal courses are different than American. an "aperitif" is a before dinner drink, usually a kir and definitly NOT an American type cocktail, and coffee is a no-no. Then the "entree", which is the appetizer or starter (not the main course like some restaurants in the states have you believe), then the "plat", which is the main course; Dessert, and then coffee. <BR>A French meal consists of at least two or three of these courses. either the plat with dessert, or the plat with an entree and/or dessert. <BR> <BR>If you would like water with your meal, you MUST ask for it. <BR> <BR>In the states, first you order the appetizer, then the waiter comes back and you order the main course, then after your meal you order the dessert. Not so in Paris- you order everything up front except for the dessert. At first this was a little confusing the first couple of times we ate at a restaurant in Paris. Old habits are hard to break I guess. <BR> <BR>The French like their meat cooked alot less than Americans, so if you eat meat <BR>keep this in mind and order your meat either "bien cuit" (bee-yah quee)- well done, or "tre bien cuit" - very well done, if you like meat cooked with pink or slightly pink. <BR> <BR>This was in a previous post- I never understood the American way of switching the fork and knife from hand to hand. The fork is set on the left and the knife on the right- that is also the respective hands they should remain in- no switching. My wife is from Europe, so she set me straight along time ago. It works better. <BR> <BR>Always keep your hands above the table while dining. <BR> <BR>To get the waiters attention just say "Pardon Mademoiselle/ Monsieur" (par-doh mad-mua-zel/ muh-syuh)as they pass by the table, or you can do the eye thing. <BR> <BR>When you would like to leave after the meal, you MUST ask for the bill- "Pardon Mademoiselle/ Monsieur, l' addition s'il vous plait (la-dee-see-yoh see-voo-play). <BR> <BR>NEVER share a meal item (like a dessert) between two people. <BR> <BR>NEVER ask for a "doggie bag". <BR> <BR>I hope I didn't duplicate too much of what has already been posted - see ya. <BR> <BR>David

Thanks to Elvira, Donna and Vicent.! <BR>Very good . Great summaries and it is not easy. <BR>Can I as an European educated person tell you what I do not like in many American Restaurants: <BR>I hate to be asked one, two....even more times : Is everything OK? <BR>I hate to have a loud explanation of the dishes by the waiter, like if I was a fool and couldn t read the menu!!! <BR>And above all I hate to be ask what do I want to drink, before I have ordered the food I want to eat.!!! <BR> <BR>--By the way I am not 100% sure if I am right.... in France <BR>you can simply ask for a carafe d'eau and no problems. Right? No one trys to sell you mineral water. Is this right? <BR>Again thank you all for the great summaries and good sense of humor.... <BR>

Just returned from a trip to Paris and received our charge bill today and it brought back some memories of some fine dining at a wonderfully, leisurely pace. Our command of French is very limited but we do know the basic greetings. The French are very polite and if you greet the proprietor with a bon jour, etc. it will go a long way. Reservations are highly recommeded. Check out the menu before you enter so that you will have an idea of the selections. The "fixe " or plat menus are the best and usually include three or four courses and in some places include wine. Most of the returant help in France speak some English and if you get a waiter who does not speak english there is probably someone in the establishment staff that does. We found the resturant staff to be very polite and helpful. The resturants are extremely small for the most part and you will be sitting cheek to jowl with the people next to you. A lot of the resturants are mom and pop operations with dad in the kitchen and mom out front. OSHA would shut down 90% of the places if they were in the states because of the close quarters. We spent most of our time on the Left Bank and ate at a variety of small, intimate places. Again, be polite. Know some basic French if possible and enjoy yourself. One recommendation - if you get to the Musee d'Orsay have lunch in the womderful resturant on the second floor. We found the French customers to be very nice and helpful to us. In one resturant we had some problem with the wine - it was turned (sour) and I was not quite sure how to pronounce "sour" in French. The woman sitting next to us helped us out with the waiter and negotiated a different wine for us. When she and her husband left they told us that they had ordered coffe for us. Have a great trip!

Elvira covered the basics, and she also conveyed the right attitude-- "don't get your knickers in a twist" as she so colorfully puts it. France gets 67 MILLION foreign visitors a year, so they're pretty used to other people's manners. A couple of minor points; <BR>--As David says, entree means starter (entry to the meal) not the main course. Another confusing word is menu. What we call a menu, they call a "carte." When they say menu, they mean a fixed-price meal. <BR>-- Even though there is usually somebody around who speaks English, if you can struggle through with French instead of calling an English-speaking staff member off his station, your waiter will usually knock himself out to show you (and his boss) how well he can deal with foreign tourists. <BR>--If you can read the menu (carte) but your pronounciation is wobbly, hold the menu so your waiter can see it, and point to each item as you order it. <BR>-- If you must complain about something, don't show anger. Try to convey the message, "I know you are a skilled professional, and this is just an unintentional oversight which you will want to know about and correct." This, in fact, is almost always the case. On one occasion, when I had to point out a dish was really inedible, the waitress gasped, RAN to the kitchen with the offending dish, RAN back with a correctly cooked replacement, and THEN apologised! No sulking, no pouting, no five-minute explanation of why it happened and how it wasn't really her fault. Apology accepted, we went on with the meal with good feelings all round. (Gee, maybe this would work in the States, too!)

This string of posts is just so full of wonderfully useful info that I had to bring it back to the top (and the comments on silly American restaurant service traditions are right on)!

I don't know, I still think the Europeans look kind of crude eating with the bent over fork in their left hand- especially when they are eating something like peas, rice or something they can't stab.

Vincent: I didn't mean to imply that substitutions/additions can't be made in a Paris restaurant. What I was trying to prevent was an American with FOF (fear of food) attempting to rearrange the chef's recipe, and setting back Franco-American (no pun intended) relations by a half century. <BR>Ginny: I have tried to master that fork thing for years, and I've almost got the hang of it. It does look crude, but I think it's because it's so different from our way of eating (similarly, the Asian way of 'shoveling' rice into one's mouth with chopsticks looks 'crude', but they were eating with utensils long before Indo-Europeans). I think it's sort of hard for an adult to learn that fork thing, simply because, if you are right handed, you're using your 'weak' hand. Kids learn more easily because they haven't had their 'other' side atrophy...I'm ambidextrous, so it's not been as hard, but I've watched (right-handed) friends struggle. <BR> <BR>And, as those wacky French say...Vive la difference!

I just want to add that we broke a lot of customs in restaurants - not once did our waiter look askance. We always ordered coffee (with cream) first thing. (We were stunned when we did this at our very first meal, after not having had coffee for more than SIX hours and were not greeted with disdain.) In fact, the owner took great pride in telling us he understands "how Americans like things" and our steaks were perfectly cooked medium-rare. If we ordered scotch on the rocks as an apertif, it was cheerfully served. Butter was always served with our bread (although not to folks nearby speaking French). Water was always offered (bottle or tap? Gas or no?). Not only does "making eye contact" work very well, no matter whose attention you attract, they will send your waiter over. Overall, the only customs I read that really held true were the ones about reservations and obtaining your bill. So, don't worry too much about protocol in restaurants.

Elvira - you are right about the fork issue, it's just different from what we are used to in the states - we probably look goofy to Europeans and Asian people when we eat. Matter of fact, when we were in Italy last time someone commented in the restaurant, "You must be American by the way you eat!"

Aren't you (American)? Every culture is different, and as long as you make a reasonable effort to not be offensive, I would think you would be acceptable anywhere in the world. I am surrounded by people of many cultures where I work, and I would not criticize them for their cultural differences, such as how they hold and use their knives and forks. Would you?