with all due respect to the surgery ordeal islandmom has been through, I'm having trouble understanding why nude beaches per se would make her worry about her husband's enjoying the scenery

there is plenty of scenery to 'enjoy' at home, whether or not the breasts, with varying beauty I wuold think, are naked in the sun or not
if your husband is worth his salt, in my opinion, he'll be understanding of your insecurity but maybe a bit indignant because of your not giving him more credit

and in my experience, 4-year-olds tend to say embarrassing things under lots of conditions anyway

i hope you have an enjoyable trip

islandmom,

Your perception is probably the only issue. Your 4 year old is a non-issue. What would s/he know? And is your husband going to chase a pair of mammaries and leave his family behind? Have confidence in your own personna and enjoy yourself. Nobody is watching anyway. I've dropped my shorts on several nude beaches in Europe. In 30 seconds it's all natural. Maybe that is why they call it "naturism" in Europe.

I notice that in the original thread, now closed, thread, after a one-sentence lead-in that she probably now wishes she'd never posted, Islandmom simply asked a factual question: <<Are people only topless right on the sand or will we be at our hotel or cafes along the beach with people walking by topless?>> Isn't it a bit intrusive for total strangers to persist in analyzing her perceptions and her relationship with her husband and her body image? Doesn't anyone get a bit embarrassed to offer psychological "guidance" to strangers this way on the public internet, especially when they didn't explicitly ask for it?

I'm sorry, I don't think it's intrusive when the poster herself here speculated in public about her husband's tendencies and/or her own marital worries.

cmt,

I might guess that you are talking about my post on this thread, if I am not being too presumptious. Islandmom discussed her "thoughts" on this thread and I addressed them. In my opinion, her 4 year old is too young to have any notions and will be too busy kicking his/her ball, digging holes in the sand, collecting sea shells, and splashing in the waves anyway. Her husband should rightfully enjoy whatever "too much" scenery is offered, but on a nude beach it is rarely worth remembering. I haven't seen Playboy quality on any of the nude beaches I've been on -- well, maybe a couple of times. It's usually geezers like me, geezers with their wives, solo middle age women, and some younger guys trolling. I've probably said too much for the forum managers already so that's it for now.

so If a husband gets a boner at a nude beach that his wife took him to and she feels less sexy then the other women there, DON'T GO!! very simple.

cmt

The Internet might be public, but for better or worse, it's also anonymous. This affords everyone a degree of privacy.

It indeed would be presumptuous for anyone to offer unsolicited advice to someone about travel, let alone body image; however, as nike as already pointed out, the case can be made that the advice was solicited. Even in the first thread, the use of the word 'embarrass' lent an emotional tone.

The topic might be stretching the bounds of what Fodors wants to see on the boards, but ultimately that's for them to decide. Meanwhile, clumsy though my perspective might have been, it's the best I could come up with at the time. Should I have simply ignored the whole thing? Eh, no doubt there's a lot of things (and people) I should ignore. But, on the other hand, nothing ventured, nothing learned.

I go now to sin no more...until next time, that is.

You are right- sometimes late at night we type things we wish we had not.And just to not disrespect any cancer survivors- mine turned out to not be cancer although my grandmother did die of it.

I did get a note from the hotel on Cannes beach that we could not all stay in one room so maybe that was a sign that the beach scene isn't for us. ; )

Now I'm confused, your mention of "chest cancer surgery" really implied that you had survived cancer, islandmom, which is a very different thing than a biopsy, which might include lumpectomy, although a biopsy is worrisome indeed, and that statement elicited some emotional responses and opened up some memories. If you didn't have cancer, I'm not sure why that statement was included, or at least worded in a way that didn't lead us to think the worst. It certainly worked on me.

I also agree with nike that perhaps your husband might be given some trust and advance credit for good behavior.

Islandmom -- thanks for your civility and good humor amongst the "booboisie."

Winner for &quot;best line&quot; award: NYFS for <i>I'll take bare breasts any day to two faces.</i>

When the ladies are so hapilly showing their breasts to the world, I feel to be disrepectful to pass by pretending we have seen nothing. A smile or a look of appreciation is the behaviour expected from a gentleman.

mentioning having had chest cancer surgery in the context of perfect 10s and nude bodies definitely (was designed to?) led to assumptions about some disfigurement as a result of the surgery.
To then say that there was no cancer is relieving to hear and i'm glad the anxiety is now behind you, but if you are carrying only a small scar due to a lumpectomy or biopsy, i am truly baffled as to why you started this posting AGAIN.
In one way or another, this posting is all about way too much information

Oh my gosh, what do you all care what kind of surgery Islandmom had??? If she had cancer, it's okay to offer advice; if she didn't, she's a jerk?

Islandmom, I wouldn't worry too much about the topless thing, or even complete nudity. My experience in Europe says you become pretty immune to the whole thing very quickly. Partly because there just aren't that many glam bodies out there. The beautiful people get as many stares in a bikini as out, and the rest are just imperfect human bodies. Honestly, with the glare, you can barely tell the men from the women. Old guys in speedos with saggy moobies vs. buff rather flat-chested women... They all look the same!

don't tell my mother but I did the &quot;topless&quot; thing when I was in Greece. Nice not to have lines. What I'll always remember though, when I lived as an exchange student in Toulon, France, my group always went to the beach which were all nude beaches. I'll never forget this 50 something man &quot;nekkid&quot; doing backflips on the beach - boy was that a sight - I just got the giggles thinking about it!

i for one DON'T care what kind of surgery she had, but she's the one who started off by saying that the nudity on the beaches &quot;is a bit of an issue because &lt;she&gt; had chest cancer surgery&quot;
and her thoughts were about her &quot;husband enjoying the scenery too much&quot;

Lots of implications there, and assumptions that lots of reasonable people could make. Why provide that sensitive information, when she might have only asked how common nudity on the beaches is, and what the atmosphere is like and if they'd bring a 4-year-old.

Then, the (potentially devastating) chest cancer surgery, wasn't.

islandmom, I am glad that you did not have the BIG C.. however, I dont understand why you make US believe that you were indeed a cancer survivor.

Also, because of your operation you were concerned about the possibility that your husband may enjoy watching the topless ladies.

I was trying to explain it differently and something kept voiding out my posts. I thought maybe there was a filter so I shorten the explaination. I didn't mislead regarding the effect that was left.

AHH, the good old days. I miss these people!

Remembrances of good times, forever Gone.

Sob, I was hoping the date was wrong.