Perfect Trip to Paris
Jul 17th, 2003, 08:52 AM
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Perfect Trip to Paris
I just got back from a wonderful 10 day trip to Paris. The flight over on Air France was nice as they automatically upgraded all American citizens to Business Class. When we landed the immigration guys just waved all the fat folks wearing fanny packs and white tennis shoes right through. Boy, was I impressed with the grand reception we got in the arrival hall. A whole mess of hot French babes were kissing all the Americans they could find and slipping their phone numbers in our pockets. I was darn glad to be wearing my NYPD ball cap and an "America: Love It or Leave It" shirt. Then the friendly cops grabbed our steamer trunks and oversized red, white and blue suitcases and escorted us to the head of a block-long taxi line. The cab driver, who was wearing a blue beret, black scarf and striped polo shirt and spoke perfect English, kissed us all on both cheeks before carefully pouring us a glass of real expensive wine and fluffing up the pillows in the back seat. To top it off, he just smiled when I tried to pay him with some good old American money and said it was his pleasure to serve us since his whole family had lived on American c-rations after the war! That was sure nice after he had arranged a police escort and taken us on a city orientation tour on the way to the hotel. When we finally got to the hotel, our room wasn not ready, but we just talked real loud and waved our blue passports, and the staff soon realized who they were dealing with and kicked out a couple of Germans from a huge, air conditioned, no-smoking suite that overlooked the Seine. We were pretty hungry by then so we went looking for a Burger King or Wendys. Disappointed in not finding one, we reluctantly approached one of those sidewalk café places. I felt real good when all the previously glum-faced waiters smiled broadly and snapped to attention when they saw my ball cap and my grossly overweight wife's new Disneyland shirt with the fake gold braid around the collar. Seeing that we were bothered by the smoke, they jerked the cigarettes out of all the French people's mouths and brought out a special table so we could sit in front. Not being able to read French I casually yelled across the place for the manager to hand scribe me one in English. Then a blushing waiter introduced himself as Pierre and patiently explained all the many specials and went into great detail about how everything was cooked. What nice bunch of folks. They even let us make substitutions for the icky things we didn't like and gave us double-sized portions with lots of extra ketchup for the American Fries. And the coffee refills were free. When we got ready to go, I snapped my fingers and yelled "Garcon" and they came running like panicked servants. When I left the waiter a couple of quarters as a tip, tears of happiness streamed from his eyes and he kissed my wife's stubby little fingers with great tenderness. Hey, it's not Six Flags over Georgia, but I'll go to France again if the dollar keeps going up and the Frogs all know we come from the greatest darn country in this here world!
Jul 17th, 2003, 09:34 AM
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LOL--that is absolutely perfect Degas.
I usually just lurk here reading the sometimes fascinating, sometimes inane, but always entertaining posts. Yours, however, deserves a special note of thanks. =D>
I usually just lurk here reading the sometimes fascinating, sometimes inane, but always entertaining posts. Yours, however, deserves a special note of thanks. =D>
Jul 17th, 2003, 11:41 AM
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Oh but where I live the Museum has a room full of your paintings and the sweet little ballerina sculpture~
BTW-we went to Philadelphia Pa and visited the Museum of Fine Art which had a wonderful collection of your paintings
BTW-we went to Philadelphia Pa and visited the Museum of Fine Art which had a wonderful collection of your paintings
Jul 20th, 2003, 07:49 AM
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Well done Degas, well done! What a funny, witty entertaining post.
By the way I used to think you were quite the busy sculptor because I saw your little ballerinas everywhere. Then I found out that you just cast them over and over out of the same mold. Do you think this cheapens your art?
By the way I used to think you were quite the busy sculptor because I saw your little ballerinas everywhere. Then I found out that you just cast them over and over out of the same mold. Do you think this cheapens your art?
Jul 20th, 2003, 08:51 AM
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Yes, when I ordered "Le Cocoa Coola" I always used vigorous sign language that clearly indicated I expected super-sized drinks with crushed ice and free re-fills. Hey, for 4E, you know darn well I'm expecting to get close to half a gallon.
My wife also got special treatment. When the waiters saw her massive rear-end (both of us have slow metabolisms and are big boned) hanging over those tiny little outdoor cafe chairs, they provided a second chair without us even having to ask. If only the airlines where that considerate.
My wife also got special treatment. When the waiters saw her massive rear-end (both of us have slow metabolisms and are big boned) hanging over those tiny little outdoor cafe chairs, they provided a second chair without us even having to ask. If only the airlines where that considerate.
Jul 20th, 2003, 08:58 AM
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What an insightful traveler and artful writer you are, Degas! It was fun to take this "trip" with you and refresh my perspective on the Ugly American syndrome. I'm off to France in three weeks and eager to enjoy every aspect of the culture, history, and joie de vivre that is so positively and famously French!
Jul 20th, 2003, 09:20 AM
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RE: liketogo2
Be careful on the subway or Le MEETRO as they call it. Its summer and a crowded car can expose you to more than your travel agent let on to be the case. Some of those frisky little French gals got vigorous garden plots growing under thier skinny beanpole arms.
Be careful on the subway or Le MEETRO as they call it. Its summer and a crowded car can expose you to more than your travel agent let on to be the case. Some of those frisky little French gals got vigorous garden plots growing under thier skinny beanpole arms.
