Art

With Fathers day coming soon I though that we might collect some thoughts about our fathers. <BR>I lost my father a couple of months after I was 12 years old to an accident. I remember when I was about 9 or 10 I tried to steal a comic book and was caught by the proprietor. He said that if he caught me again he would tell my father. Although my father had never struck me, I could just see the disappointment in his eyes and boy did that straighten me out. I had this image of him being perfect and it was reinforced by his reputation in the town of about 12,000. Of course as I grew up I realized that he wasn’t perfect but He was known, respected and liked by everyone. He had the highest reputation for integrity. He was the first farmer in Maine to use contour planting and was also the first to build an irrigation system for dry summers. On warm summer evenings people from the town would drive by our farm to see the irrigation system in action. I was very fortunate a couple of years ago when back in Maine for my Mothers service. I visited my uncle (dad’s brother) who had cleaned out my Grandmothers attic when she passed and had been organizing letters etc. He gave me a stack of letters that my father had written while on a 3 ½ year tour of the US from the age of 18 to 22 years old. I got to meet my father as a young man and to live his travels with him. I also learned where my sweet tooth came from as he mentioned receiving a package of fudge several times. I learned that he had a curiosity about different places and things. When he tried to write about his visit to the Grand Canyon, you could tell that he was so impressed and overwhelmed by the experience that he was having trouble describing it. He approached his travels with awe and curiosity. Although my father died when I was very young, what I knew of him has influenced me my entire life. <BR>To all fathers everywhere, happy Fathers Day. <BR>With respect <BR>Art <BR>

Annie

Art, what a lovely idea to pay tribute to the fathers who have inspired us and our travels. My father was, and is at 72, a farmer in Iowa. I am his youngest child, born when he was in his '40s. His life is simple by many standards, but his one indulgence (if you can call it that) is travel. Each summer, my parents would pack all five children into a ridiculously small pickup camper and take a trip. It meant sandwiching 10-14 days in between fieldwork, and finding a helpful neighbor to cover the livestock chores, but before the age of ten I'd had the incredible good fortune to swim in both oceans, sample fresh maple syrup in Vermont, explore our nation's capital, climb Canadian glaciers, ferry across Lake Michigan, and walk down the streets of New York City. I can't imagine that many children, let alone those of working class roots and limited means, had those opportunities. Our vacations became briefer and less far-reaching with the farm crisis of the '80s, but he and my mother always found the resources to travel somewhere, and we always stopped to read EVERY historical marker. These days, he and Mom vacation with my sister and her family in a motorhome that's triple the size of the shoebox in which we cris-crossed America. Last summer they all went to Alaska, fulfilling a dream he's had for years. <BR> <BR>He's never been outside North America, except for his tour of duty in the Korean War, but he loves to hear of my travels and hopes to see the Holy Land someday. I surely inherited my travel bug from him, and for encouraging and fostering that curiosity, I'm so very grateful. It sounds trite, but he taught me the value of hard work and education, and the equal value of enjoying life. Many of my friends had workaholic parents who gave them 'things'. My father gave me the gifts of travel and ideas and dreams. He is an inspiration to me always.

Oaktown Traveler

Art and Annie: <BR> <BR>I have enjoyed your sharing of your very personal and touching tales of your dads. I am glad that you got this thread started. <BR>My dad is a great person. He was not a traveler but he surely enjoyed taking us kids wherever his Buick could go. This would include The County Fair, baseball games, The Boat Shows in SF, our grandparents homes and to his favorite buger joints! <BR>Today he is quite the traveler and takes vacations to places where I have never been. <BR>When the travel bug bit us as young kids, teens and eventually adults he was very supportive with making sure that we had everything that we thought we needed to take the trip. <BR>One sage piece of advice, naw, directive, to be headed from him was: "Never get into a car with a stranger." Not only was he right but I can say that he too knew best! <BR> <BR>Happy Memories <BR>Oaktown

Rhonda

When is Father's Day over there? In Australia it's not until September (2nd Sunday). We've only just had Mother's Day. Nice idea anyway.

PB

Art <BR>What a nice way to pay tribute, and how lucky you were that you got to know your father through his letters. <BR> <BR>My father is going to be eighty-two in two weeks, and his philosophy of life has always influenced me. He came to the United States from Sicily as a very small child and was proud to serve in the USAF during the second world war.... and two years ago was awarded a medal by the French government (along with many others) for his participation in the Normandy invasion. This was something of a surprise to all of his children, as he never spoke of the war. Instead he concentrated, and still does, on living <BR>fully - enjoying good food, wine and travel. <BR> <BR>As a young child I remember reading about Venice, and then seeing something (at the movies or on our black and white television ?) about Disneyland. My father promised to take me to both one day.... we never made it to Disneyland, but were lucky enough to visit Venice on several occassion during summer vacations while living in Switzerland and Belgium when I was a teenager. I forgave him for NOT taking me to Disneyland immediately upon arriving in Venice. <BR> <BR>My brother, sister and I all have the travel bug, and even though I am lucky enough to live in Provence, I still travel whenever the occassion presents itself. <BR> <BR>I don't know when Fathers Day is in the US, but I wish a Happy one to all the fathers out there who inspire their children. <BR> <BR>Patricia <BR>

Judy

Hi Art, what a nice thread! I was trying to come up with some witty, sage remarks, but I just can not seem to find them. My father is a Great man to his family and friends. He is Loyal, brave, caring, if I could be just a fraction like him, I would be very satisfied. <BR> He is a part of the greatest generation that is rapidly disappearing. I hope he gets to see the WWII monument in DC... <BR> His experinces in the Europe theater in Ireland, GB, and France, helped tweek my interest in visiting those countries. <BR> Thanks, Dad, I love you. Judy

My father's daughter

I have tears in my eyes just trying to compose an asnwer to this thread. While my mother was not a particularly maternal, warm, interested-in-her-chldren type of mother, my father was always there for his children and spent many hours talking to us and listening to us. He was the one who took care of us when we were sick, he told us the facts of life, he knew the names of our friends, he drove me to school, he took us on outings, drives and to buy ice creams. He would give me money to go shopping for clothes. He would see that we had whatever we needed.He was always there to comfort me when my mother's disinterest grew too much to handle.He had great insight into people and his opinions of my boyfriends were always insightful and correct. <BR> <BR>While he took us on vacations when we were young, he never traveled outside the country he was born in and never saw America or where we live now. When I left at the tender age of 22, it was exactly like the scene from Fiddler on the Roof where the daughter is leaving with the husband and the father is saying , "Why do you have to go?" <BR> <BR>Shortly thereafter, my brilliant wonderful, compasssionate doctor father developed Alzheimers and then some years later died from complications after being hit by a car when he eluded his caregivers and wandered into the road. That was 10 years ago. I still miss him and am saddened that he never really got to know my children or see the world. <BR> <BR>Thank you, Art for giving me this opportunity to share how wonderful he was and how much I miss him.

Cindy

My dad is just great. I have so many wonderful memories of him. <BR> <BR>Back before girls played sports, he took me out and taught me to throw, hit and field a softball. He came to all of my games. <BR> <BR>We debated politics for hours when I was a teenager. <BR> <BR>He always told me I was pretty, even during those awkward years when it simply wasn't true. <BR> <BR>When I left for grad school, he sent me letters for months afterward, and each one contained a single dollar bill. <BR> <BR>I had some savings while away in grad school, and I would ask him to make withdrawals as I needed money. I didn't know that he didn't touch my savings and instead took out loans for what I needed. <BR> <BR>Dad is only 65, and he is in excellent health. We still talk politics and current affairs. He's the best.

marie

difficult to type with tears running down my face. Like one of the above posters i grew up with an adoring father and a disinterested mother. My father has been gone for 24 years now, and i still miss him terribly. He did quite a bit of necessary travel as a soldier in WW2, and when he returned, vowed never to travel again -- and he didn't. I inherited my love for travel from the milkman, I guess. Thanks for the love, Dad. Marie

Kathy

Hi Folks, <BR>In the U.S., Father's Day is June 17th. I think my dad never understood my desire to travel & when I went away to school in Italy, he was surely the person I missed the most. He took with a good sense of humor a few collect calls I made to him while in Europe. <BR> <BR>I am lucky to still have my dad, who was over 40 when I was born. He is a lively character, who played the spoons, taught himself French in Quebec in order to sell advertising, and supported his mom after his own father died. When I was small, I followed him around so diligently that he began to refer to me as his shadow! We used to joke about dad's "handyman" skills--after he repaired our front door, we discovered in order to lock it, we had to turn the lock in a different direction than we'd been doing prior to "the repair". (Guess dad was the original Tim Allen!) Prior to my birth, dad had decided to give my mom a break on weekends, by letting her sleep in & he would make breakfast. He lived to regret that when as a toddler, I would enter my parents' bedroom on weekend mornings, open my dad's eyelids, & ask "are you awake in there?" prior to demanding breakfast. <BR> <BR>I had to take dad to the emergency room twice this past January, & he had surgery in February, the day after his 84th birthday. I know my time with him grows more limited with each passing day, but am all that much more grateful he's still with us, making us laugh and smile. The only difference now is that I take care of him instead of the other way around. (Thank God for medical supply web sites that deliver equipment & supplies directly to the house.) <BR> <BR>Dad's lasting words of advice were: "get all the education you can, you will never regret any educational experience you have" and "never scrimp on professional legal, medical or dental services". He was right! <BR> <BR>Thanks for this thread, Art. <BR>Kathy

elizabeth

Great thread! <BR> <BR>Here's my plug for step fathers. My father left at 2 never to be heard from again and my mother remarried when I was 11. What a wonderful man Victor is! As the months passed after they married I slowly migrated from calling him "Mr B" to Dad - he never said a word the whole time - no expectations to convert instantly, no pressure to become an instant daughter, etc. <BR> <BR>Visually, we make quite a funny pair. I'm 6 feet tall and Dad is 5'5" - sometimes strangers will do a double take when they hear me call him "Dad". He's been known to look them straight in the eye with a twinkle in his and say "I really had my heart in it"! <BR> <BR>I'm 44 now and he's 90 - we should all be as healthy and vital when we're his age. <BR> <BR>No doubt as a result of having this wonderful father I bear no ill will towards my biological father. He had a host of psychological problems - and 40 years old we just weren't properly diagnosing and treating them. <BR> <BR>One other bonus - I have a wonderful step sister who is as close to my mother as I am to her father (yikes, is that clear?!) <BR> <BR>This father's day I'm planning to go to Vancouver (I live in Toronto) - that usually means dad and I will stay up 'til 2:00am one night drinking single malt (his favourite) and shooting the breeze. <BR> <BR>I think I'm going to call him right now! <BR> <BR>

elizabeth

Ooops - typing too fact - that should have said "40 years AGO we weren't diagnosing and treating....." <BR> <BR>Forgot one thing abuot travel - Dad is Icelandic (born in Canada) but has never been. My husband is really keen to take Dad to Iceland so later this year I'm going to fly to Vancouver to stay with my mom (her health doesn't permit travel) and Richard and Dad are going to do a whirlwind trip to Iceland. They're busy planning the trip now!

elvira

My dad's overseas travel was to India during WWII, thanks to the U.S. Army; those black and white photos of the Himalayas, the Delhi marketplace and farmers in the fields were so mysterious...he always wanted to return, but never had the opportunity. <BR> <BR>He had a wicked sense of humor, and believed that the entire world was here for his entertainment (his admission ticket was that HE had to entertain as well, hence the wicked sense of humor); everything that fell within his sights was fair game - a dog walking with his owner, a kid eating ice cream, a couple of guys playing frisbee - he'd make up stories about who they were, what they were saying, what they did for a living... <BR> <BR>Mom was the disciplinarian; all Dad had to do was look disappointed, and I was crushed. <BR> <BR>He was a big baseball fan (never gave up on the Red Flops) so his language was sprinkled with references to the game: when my sister and I would be acting goofy, he'd call us "a coupla real foul balls" - always with a grin in his voice; if we'd be acting up "keep it up, three strikes and you're out"; "no comments from the peanut gallery". <BR> <BR>He taught me to throw a split-finger fast ball (I wasn't real popular when we played softball in gym class); he taught me about football, taking time during critical games to describe what was happening (our only philosophical difference was over Joe Namath - Dad thought Joe was a jerk, I thought Joe was a god, eventually Dad came around). <BR>So throughout my trips, I see things through my Dad's eyes "hmmm I wonder why that Parisian couple hasn't said a word to each other all night? Oh, sure, SHE wanted to go out to dinner, and HE wanted to stay home and watch the Trois Stooges marathon"... <BR> <BR>My father was always nice to waitstaff, cab drivers, sky caps; he'd chat with them, always smile, make jokes. Never once did he berate a service person or try to lord over them (that's so far from his personality that it's laughable); he treated everyone with respect and dignity, and was treated the same. How easy my life has been because of his example... <BR> <BR>In a short vignette, I will explain all: my sister and I slept upstairs, the TV was at the foot of the stairs in the living room. The sound carried right up the stairs....so one night, I holler down "Dad, can you turn down the TV? I can't sleep" Without missing a beat, he hollers back "WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU....THE TV'S TOO LOUD WHAT'RE YOU DOING UP? SHOULDN'T YOU BE ASLEEP?"

Oaktown Traveler

I have MAJOR tears coming down my face. <BR>I don't know, but the recollections of fathers are so deep and heartfelt... <BR> <BR>The Mother's thread was just plain ole' comedy. I cried from laughing SO hard. <BR> <BR>These tears are so different...There I go again and my dad is just right up the road. <BR> <BR>Keep sharing <BR>Oaktown

Me

Well I have been watching this thread, and it IS very different from the mother's thread! <BR> <BR>My father told my mother before they got married that he did not want to have children. He changed his mind (or should I say SHE changed his mind for him) after they had been married 3 years. I was born 9 months later and have a sibling 3 years younger. <BR> <BR>He was not raised in a loving healthy family, so he did not know how to be a loving warm Dad. He had extremely high expectations for me and we had a hard time getting along when I was younger. <BR> <BR>Strangely, when I went to college, everything changed between us and he became the most loving, generous, supportive, wonderful Dad ever. We are close as close can be, even though we are many states apart. <BR> <BR>I just love him. And luckily for me, we are very open in our communication and we both well know how much we mean to eachother. There won't be any regrets about that when the time comes...

Sheila

I had a wonderful father that I lost almost 3 years ago. He was a hardworking farmer and very honest. He did not like to spend money so we never took vacations but he would take us fishing, camping, and to the county fair. We went on alot of family picnics. <BR>He and mom were married 50 years. He always made sure we were in church on Sunday morning. <BR> One of his favorite sayings was "Don't hurry through life". I miss him very much. Even though he did not teach me the love of travel, he did teach me many other things for which I will always be thankful. <BR>

pam

Father did know best--get out of town every summer for two or three weeks. Amen, Dad. Wish I could do it as regularly as we did when I was growing up. Like Elvira, my dad first went overseas in 1944 with the US Army (Air Corps) to India. I have his photo captioned "Over the Hump." In the 50s he got another opportunity, this time to see Japan and Korea. We used to watch his slides over and over again. He "chaperoned" his parents and other couples to Acapulco in the 50s. When he and Mom married in '61, he planned a driving trip through Mexico, and I saw many of those slides, too. We always took a two- or three-week (as his years of tenure at work accumulated and he got more vacation time) driving trips around the US, every year, just as soon as school let out ("to miss the crowds"). How many times did he answer "Are we there yet?" or "How much further?" or "I have to go to the bathroom" or "Is there going to be a swimming pool at the motel?" Hey, Dad, I miss you. (I need a good argument, and there's no one here to accommodate me.) I hope there's a good Internet cafe in Heaven and that you've figured out the computer.

elizabeth

At the risk of expanding this post beyond its original intent (but keeping in the travel vein) what about grandfathers? <BR> <BR>Every summer my maternal grandfather packed all the available grandchildren (minimum 4) into his (current year) Pontiac and we drove from Vancouver to Swift Current Saskatchewan (at that time a 3 day drive) to visit his sister (Aunt Mabel - I can't be making this up!) <BR> <BR>This was the best trip you could ever imagine. We always stayed in motels with pools, you could eat ANYTHING you wanted from the menu, and after dinner we would head to some kind of fast food joint (usually A&W) for ice cream. <BR> <BR>It was years later (these trips occured in the early 60s) that I realized that most men didn't tend to head out alone for 2 weeks with at least 4 kids (age range 6-12). <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR>

Annette

Art, Thank-you for the great thread as an opportunity to honor our fathers. I love reading everyone's. The personal and generational sacrifices they made for us really come to light. <BR> <BR> Did you read the Anne Tyler book, "The Accidental Tourist?" My dad was an accidental tourist - an airline captain, who didn't really like to travel all that much. As he always said, even though his airplane ride was free, once you got there, he had to pay inflated prices for hotel rooms and rental car! But really, he had other priorities. Most of our childhood trips were camping trips. Dad liked to golf, hunt and fish - he wasn't cut out for sightseeing. <BR> <BR>Europe really wasn't his cup of tea. He was stationed in North Africa during WWII and was a bomber pilot, doing his missions over Italy and into Germany a few times. He was lucky to get out alive and bring his crew back alive, for which he received recognition. He never wanted to go back, although he did surprise me by his interest in my two trips. <BR> <BR>God love him, he WAS the funniest and smartest man who ever lived - in fact, my husband used to call him "God", since I always claimed his infalliblity. He was very disciplined, but more fun than anyone. He was a man of few words, although he made up many silly songs and had terrible nicknames for all friends and foes and, also, current newsmakers. His few words of advice were "try to keep your head above water" and "screw 'em"!

xxxxxx

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