We were supposed to leave today.

After five months of feverish research, happy dreaming, slavish studying of this board day and night, and, of course, booking and paying deposits for 12 days in Paris and Provence with my husband and two teen girls, we have had to cancel our trip.

My sweet little Mom, 88 years old, had a heart attack on Wednesday. She is in the hospital, alert and comfortable, but somewhat unstable--more so because of her kidneys than her heart .While at first I received enormous pressure from her and my dad to go go go on our trip, (this was supposed to be a high school graduation gift to our daughter, and my poor Mom felt so guilty) I knew in my heart I could not leave her. My family of course is disappointed, but supportive.

Paris will still be there, right? And Provence, which we've never seen?

Many thanks to all who answered my questions so graciously, especially Stu Dudley, Underhill, Morgan B and PB Provence, and to the many, many Fodorites whose trip reports and advice I studied.

We were able to cancel only two of our four our hotels without penalty. (And I'm still having trouble with Venere--their website will only allow me to cancel one of the two rooms we booked). United takes $100 per ticket to put my miles back. And I lost more than 300 euro for our non-refundable PREMs which I had already printed.

About $1500, gone.

I am more than happy with my decision.
But as much as I enjoyed planning for this trip (with your help), anyone who says getting there is half the fun ... is wrong.

Thanks again.

I'm sorry , hax !
Hope your Mom gets better soon, that's the most important

You are a good daughter to put your mother's health before your family vacation. Blessings to you and prayers to your mother. May her health be fully restored.

And you're right. Paris still be there.

My heart goes out to you. You have to live with yourself and you made the right decision. Family always comes first. Paris and Provence will always be there for another day.

hax, please see my reply to you on the other thread. Wishing you the best!!

hax,

Remember, you will never regret doing the right thing. Best decision.

I hope your Mom is on the road to recovery.

You did the right thing. You will be blessed with even a better vacation.

I'm so sorry you had to cancel. And because we canceled a trip last Oct, I really think I know what a mixture of emotions you are feeling.

But, you're right. It will be there when it is time for you to go - and of course you are doing the right thing, but it still is a hurt.

Bless you,

Carol

Hax - A few years ago I was in the same situation as you are in now. I had planned a trip to Italy and Paris. My mother took a turn for the worse and everything that I planned, I canceled with no regrets. I could never recapture those moments with her yet Paris & Italy, as you said, would always be there.

You did the right thing. When you finally take that trip it will be even more special to you. The very best to you and your family.

Please give your mother my best wishes for her recovery and tell her that she has a terrific daughter...but she probably already knows that.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. You've made the right decision IMHO.
Take care and may God bless,
sal

Hax, I live with an elderly mom. My best thoughts and wishes go out to you and yours.

Hax,
So sorry you had to cancel your trip, but you will never regret having done so to be with your mother. Hope she will be well soon.

Your mom is a lucky woman to be so loved.

You'll get to Paris. It isn't going anywhere!

I can relate so well as we had to cancel our trip last summer to Switzerland and Northern Italy with only 4 days to go....my mother fell gravely ill.

It was hard at the moment, but it wasn't even close- I knew I was doing the right thing and never regretted it. Every moment spent with Mom was a blessing.

And, everyone is right...Europe will still be there. I am happy to report that our family leaves in 4 days for our rescheduled trip!

So, you will enjoy the trip even more when you do get to go (and you will). In the meantime, spend lots of time with your family and hang around here, too! Hope your Mom's health continues to improve.

Hax, best wishes to your mom for a speedy recovery.
Canceling a trip is hard, even when it's for the best of reasons, but I'm sure it will be more joyful when you do go and the time is right.

Hax - I'm so sorry. Of course you made the right decision. How could you enjoy your trip worrying about your mom. All the best to you and your family. Please keep us informed.
Micheline

I want to add my wishes for your mom's return to health, and to tell you, as all the others have, that you have done a good thing.

I have elderly parents (86 and 83) and prepare myself while planning every trip that I may have to cancel... and it really did happen to you. I'm so sorry.

I will be glad to read of your plans when you make them again. God bless.

Hello Hax - what a sad and scary thing to happen to your mother, and I hope she enjoys better health very soon.

She obviously did a fine job raising you, just as you are showing your daughters what is truly important.

I had to cancel once, and it wasn't even for such a good reason as you have (you will not regret your decision).

One year we were going on an escorted tour of Italy. I did extensive research to take advantage of our 'free' time, paid the tour, etc. As the departure grew closer and closer, some unexplainable dread overcame me. I tried to reason it away but it was no use. I sat on a bench by the river and said to myself "what's the worst thing that will happen if I cancel?" Immediately a huge weight lifted from me and I knew that is what I would do. I went home and told my husband, who said, "I am so glad you decided that because I didn't want to say I've been worrying about going this time."

I have no idea what the actual source of our dread was - it was much stronger than just pre-trip jitters.

I still use those x!&*@$!% $800 totebags to this day.