That's a bit harsh, jsmith.

Perhaps the beauty and value is not in finding "the right answer" in the shortest time possible, but providing support, input and/or information as the process unfolds.

As elsewhere in life "the right answer" may (and has) changed on an hourly basis. The support of Fodorites remains constant.

Dear wj1, thank you for the latest update. I think you know that you will have a lot of people here thinking of your dear mother and you while you go through this most difficult time. Prayers and best wishes to both of you.

wj1- I've been following this thread all day and just wanted to wish you luck with your Mom. Please keep us posted as you can.

Jsmith-I'm with Marilyn and and Stars on this. I think your criticism was harsh and unnecessary. Wj1 asked for advice on a hotel near the hospital and got the information she needed quickly. As things changed throughout the day, she got more advice which was hers to take or leave as she chooses.

Rex-you are doll. Count me as a fan!

wj1, my very best wishes for your mom's swift recovery.

Everyone else, you are awesome! Especially Rex. What a great place this is.

wj1.....I pray for you and your mother, and look forward to hearing how it all turns out.
We could start another thread on being ill, having accidents etc. overseas and probably have some very interesting (and informational) responses.
We lived overseas for 5 yrs. back in the mid 70's.....It is indeed sometimes hard being sick overseas,(and in a foreign language) but ofen the treatment is just as good or better than in the States. Guess it depends on where you are.

Please tell me again how you helped. It is all very good to have provided the right address and name of the suburb and the hospital but hardly inspirational to attempt a diagnosis, a course of treatment, where it should take place, list potential complications and, further, to denigrate the mother's HMO.

I quote from postings by wj1.
-----------------------
At 6:46 PM from wj1
My mother will be flying home for her surgery. The doctors think it will be fine. So while I appreciate everyone's suggestions and comments about having the surgery performed in France, since the decision has been made, at this point I would appreciate it to have no further debate about where the surgery will be. I hope you all undertand but additional stress about whether we made the right decision will not be helpful.

At 9:29 PM
We changed our mind. We were too concerned about the risks Rex mentioned as we were starting to run up the window of opportunity.
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wj1. I do sympathise with you and trust your decision is the right one made after consultation with your mother's doctors.

BTW, does this mean I won't be nominated to be anyone's travel partner?

>BTW, does this mean I won't be nominated to be anyone's travel partner?<

I'd say that's a safe bet.

Best wishes to you and your mother over the next few days. I know that is a very difficult and scary situation to be dealing with.

I have been sick or had an injury on a couple of trips in Europe, once in Rome and once in Paris. Both times I had excellent medical care. I am glad that you will be able to go to Paris to be with your mother.

Rex, that was very thoughtful of you to find out information about the hospital, town, and hotel for wj1. I know it is very confusing to cope with a long distance medical emergency for a family member. It is good to have help and support from other people at times like this.

I was out of town today and only now on line to find such a heart warming post from Rex.
Good luck wj1, I wish her a speedy recovery and Rex, you're not just a pretty face. Good wishes for you.

Kudos to Rex. Had it been my emergency, I would have been SO grateful for all that you did. I realize you also are a medical doctor, and I think it was entirely appropriate that you brought up some of the medical aspects to be considered in making a decision where to receive the needed medical treatment.

wj1, I can't help but feel you made the right decision.

For the record, I used to have a dim view of HMO's, but when I worked in San Francisco (for the U.S. Gov.), everybody I worked with seemed to have Kaiser, and they all LOVED it. I was getting badly jerked around by Blue Cross, Blue Shield, so I switched to Kaiser. I loved it, just loved it! Seems like they just couldn't do enough for us. Leaving Kaiser was one of the things I hated about leaving San Francisco. I wish I had them where I live now.

And jsmith, your remarks are overly harsh and unwarranted. Anybody who has been reading message boards such as this one for any length of time knows that on any topic you are going to get some good advice, some bad advice, some sincere prayers if warranted, and some things to think about that you hadn't thought of yourself. The members of this message board rose to the occasion of this emergency in an admirable fashion.

Still here.

I'm not sure what all the ruckus is about because frankly I've only skimmed all the postings. I just want to make it clear that the medical information offered by Rex and the others did not peruade us to have the surgery there in and of itself. Instead, it made us wonder whether we had acted too quickly without getting all the information. As a result, we called the local doctor and after speaking with him, we decided to do the surgery there.

Bottom line is that I know that people are just trying to help so no offense taken, rather loads of appreciation.

wj1-

Prayers from my family to yours.

Just thought you'd like to know that during The Prayers for the People at our church today I asked for prayers for wj1's mother and her family.

jsmith, that IS nice to know.

This Friday's Rave of the week....Rex

This Friday's Rant of the week....jsmith

I'm sorry if anyone thought that I was offering medical advice. My point was to try to make wj1 feel comfortable with <u>either</u> decision - - as exmplified by my saying that I would easily imagine almost &quot;identically opposite&quot; decisions if this involved <u>my<u> father versus my wife's mother.

And as was already suggested above, a call to their respective primary physisians would have been at the top of the list in the decision-maikng process.
</u></u>

Rex,
you went above and beyond by making the phone calls and getting the information.

Dear Rex, you have nothing to defend or apologize for. We should all be so fortunate if we are overseas and have a medical emergency and have you to help straighten out the confusion. And jssmith posted a nice post today. All will be well if dear wj1's mother makes it through this operation and arrives home in good shape.

Wishing everyone safe and healthy trips.

I find it a shame that a general good deed and simple words of reflection during a crisis only meant ( the way i saw it) to help decrease the original poster's possible anxiety over having a loved one, in a hospital , with a possible/probable operation in a foreign speaking country BY HERSELF!!!! can cause such misunderstandings about the intentions.

It goes to prove how potentially dangerous the written word is. Misinterpretations sadly can cause quite a ruckus.

I hope the hospital stay is short, and all is going well.

Just a suggestion that we all consider carefully having travel insurance; you never know where or when an accident will occur, and many insurance plans (particularly HMOs, in my experience) have very limited coverage for travellers. We have Kaiser, and have been very satisfied with the treatment, but in my particular plan they limit coverage for anything outside of their coverage area to $1200 yearly, so I am considering switching plans. Of course, trip insurance is relatively inexpensive and the medical evacuation component is invaluable.