We all followed your planning for Italy and knew the planned outcome of the trip and our hearts went out to you. You mentioned that you would be talking to the children that night and then i haven't seen anything since and was wondering how everyone was doing? this must be a very difficult time and just wanted you to know that we haven't forgotten you. Hope all is well.

Sorry bobbie, <BR>I think I posted on that thread afterwards, but it has sunk (justly so)] <BR>I am starting to post the trip, on different threads titled <BR>Long Anticipated Trip...We are all as fine as can be expected. <BR>the children were understandably upset, but had 3 questions for us <BR>1- do we hate each other? <BR>2- will we fight over them? <BR>3- will they see their daddy? <BR>We answered, <BR>No, No and Yes, and that seemed to help. <BR>Of course, this stinks and will for a long time. <BR>I actually think I am doing better than my spouse, but I really did not have any doubts about that! <BR>I am getting my support from everywhere [including this site!! ] and I know that I will be fine in the end. <BR>I just wish my children did not have to have this heartache. <BR> <BR>so, thanks for asking. <BR>Feel free to E-me anytime, this is my real address. <BR>and read my threads as I post them. <BR>There are bits and pieces that may help or amuse. <BR>

Hi Nancy, <BR>Know things still need to be sorted out but glad you're checking in with us. I know this is a painful time for your kids, but I assure you from my own experience, that it would be MUCH worse if you "stayed together for the sake of the kids". My parents' 60th wedding anniversary was yesterday. They live in the same house, are still married to each other & essentially can barely stand the sight of one another. My heart aches at the thought that they both could have & would have potentially been happier remarried to someone else, but they stayed together for "the sake of the children" and then due to my dad's religious beliefs & my mom's fear of being financially deserted & destitute. These factors, are, IMHO, not enough to hold a marriage together. Not only are they miserable, they make those who spend any amount of time around them ("the children", for whom they allegedly stuck together in the first place) equally miserable. <BR> <BR>You go, girl!!!! You're going to be just fine & so will those kids. <BR>BC

I want to second what Book Chick said about not staying together for the sake of the kids. My parents were married for 35 years and most of those years were miserable. We "kids" all wished they would split up and be happy. Finally they did, and are. <BR> <BR>I am so sorry that you and your kids are having to go through this, but I'm glad you're doing OK and hanging in there. Just remember that there are a bunch of total strangers out there someplace, thinking about you and sending you their every best wish!

I'll third what Book Chick said. My parents "celebrated" their 50th wedding anniversary last fall, but it was only to mark the passage of time. They're very different people who could've probably been both happier with others but chose to stay together "for the sake of the kids" and were miserable (always bickering, etc.) for as long as I can remember.

Nancy, Just picked up this thread. Everyone will be fine. During lonely moments remember that travel can present lonely moments even when times are great. Do not be too quick to attribute sad moments solely to your situation. I have traveled for extended periods alone with my children. It provides a wonderful time to connect and share true feelings. I would try to be as honest as possible while being careful about what I say. I hope I'm not too forward. I wish you strength and calm. <BR> <BR>linda

thanks everyone! <BR>Ooh, I am so sorry to hear about all the unhappy, long-term, parental marriages! <BR>Mine will be celebrating 53 yrs soon, and it has been a happy one. <BR>Linda, of course you are not being too forward! <BR>thanks for the words, your advice is part of my philosophy. <BR>