JY

Did the composer Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried <BR>-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz <BR>-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumble-meyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich <BR>-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nurnburger-bratwurstle-gerspurten-mit <BR>-zweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shonen-danker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von <BR>Hautkopf of Ulm ever stay there ? <BR>

Capo

No one expects the Hotel Monty Python!

brian

Alms for an ex-leper!

Zack

I heard he found the holy grail.

Rosenatti

I hear it's an awfully nice hotel. You can wrap it up in ribbons; you can put it in your sock. But don't talk of it in public, or they'll put you in the dock. And <BR>you <BR>won't <BR>come <BR>back. <BR> <BR>Thank you very much.

Capo

"Good morning, may I help you?" <BR> <BR>"Yes, I have a reservation for five nights. The name is Capo." <BR> <BR>"WHAT??!! Your name's not Bruce?! That's going to cause a bit of confusion 'round here."

boozer

My father (a Rhinelander) had one of those small vineyard plots whose grapes they combined with others to make wine-When I went back I researched wines--- Germany is known for its Rieslings mostly so I concentrated on them --I looked on line at the places (like wine.com) and reviewed the ratings--I made lists and printed them to take with me--- however it was difficult to find any of these wines--I didnt have a lot of time to try to find them--You must know what you like as far as Kabinett,Auslese,or Spatlese and as the others have said the dryness level--Best idea is just taste before you buy--It is entirely up to individual taste. I found that a few vineyard kept coming up as top producers and then when I was in the Alcace I spotted a familiar name and stopped--I bought a recommended gimurztiminer and it was great!! Ask a waiter they sometimes know what is cheap and good

mitch

Sorry, it's closed. It is an ex-hotel. It has ceased to be.

ohoh

Wasn't THAT the place with the red awning?

My

What's the point of going abroad if you're just another tourist carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Coventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their Sunday Mirrors, complaining about the tea - "Oh they don't make it properly here, do they, not like at home" - and stopping at Majorcan bodegas selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in their cotton frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh 'cos they "overdid it on the first day." And being herded into endless Hotel Miramars and Bellvueses and Continentales with their modern international luxury roomettes and draught Red Barrel and swimming pools full of fat German businessmen pretending they're acrobats forming pyramids and frightening the children and barging into queues and if you're not at your table spot on seven you miss the bowl of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, the first item on the menu of International Cuisine, and every Thursday night the hotel has a bloody cabaret in the bar, featuring a tiny emaciated dago with nine-inch hips and some bloated fat tart with her hair brylcreemed down and a big arse presenting Flamenco for Foreigners. And adenoidal typists from Birmingham with flabby white legs and diarrhoea trying to pick up hairy bandy-legged wop waiters called Manuel and once a week there's an excursion to the local Roman Remains to buy cherryade and melted ice cream and bleeding <BR>Watney's Red Barrel and one evening you visit the so called typical restaurant with local colour and atmosphere and you sit next to a party from Rhyl who keep singing "Torremolinos, torremolinos" and complaining about the food - "It's so greasy isn't it?" … <BR>

Cardinal Fang

Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.........and nice, shiny red uniforms. Oh damn!

How Much

Good evening, and welcome to The Money Programme. Tonight on The Money <BR> Programme, we're going to look at money. Lots of it. On film, and in <BR> the studio. Some of it in nice piles, others in lovely clanky bits of <BR> loose change. Some of it neatly counted into fat little hundreds, <BR> delicate fivers stuffed into bulging wallets, nice crisp clean checks, <BR> pert pieces of copper coinage thrust deep into trouser pockets, romantic <BR> foreign money rolling against the thigh with rough familiarity, beautiful <BR> wayward curlicued banknotes, filigreed copper plating cheek by jowl with <BR> tumbly rubbing gently against the terse leather of beautifully <BR> balanced bank books!! <BR> <BR>But I love money. <BR> All money. I've always wanted money. <BR> To handle! To touch! The smell of the rain-washed florin! <BR> The lure of the lira! <BR> The glitter and the glory of the guinea! <BR> The romance of the ruble! <BR> The feel of the franc! <BR> The heel of the deutschmark! <BR> The cold antiseptic sting of the Swiss franc! <BR> And the sunburnt splendor of the Australian dollar! <BR>I've got ninety thousand pounds in my bank account. <BR>I've got forty thousand French francs in my fridge. <BR>I've got lots and lots of lira,Now the deutschmark's getting dearer, <BR>And my dollar bill could buy the Brooklyn Bridge.There is......nothing quite as wonderful as money! <BR>There is nothing quite as beautiful as cash! <BR>Some people say it's folly, but I'd rather have the lolly, <BR>With money you can make a splash! <BR>There is nothing quite as wonderful as money! <BR>There is nothing quite as beautiful as cash! <BR>Everyone must hanker for the butchness of a banker. <BR>It's the currency that makes the world go round! <BR>You can keep your Marxist ways, for it's only just a phase... <BR>Money, money, money makes the world go round! <BR>Money! Money! Money! Money! Money! Money! Money! Money! Money!

bringout

Just think, some day all of this will be yours. <BR> <BR>What, the curtains? <BR> <BR> <BR>

Idler

<BR> &gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt; IT'S ........!&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;

froggy

And this one, Crunchy Frogs. Do you take the bones out? <BR> <BR>If we took the bones out it wouldn't be crunchy!

Tee hee hee

I stayed there once but experienced an unfortunate incident when an overzealous security guard whacked off my left arm with a sword - actually, it was just a flesh wound...

disgruntleddiner

I was disappointed by the hotel's swanky French restaurant. I ordered one entree (cheese and spam) from the menu, but the waiter brought me the lot -- all swished together in a bucket. I thought I would literally explode. Still, I was fine until they produced one final after-dinner mint, wafer-thin... then... oh, it's too horrible...

K

Well I personally think Jean-Paul Sartre's masterwork 'Roads to Freedom'is an allegory of man's search for commitment. <BR>

scott

Inspector: Mrs Potter - you knew Harold Potter quite well I believe? <BR> <BR>Wife: Oh yes quite well. <BR> <BR>Inspector: Yes. <BR> <BR>Wife: He was my husband. <BR> <BR>Inspector: Yes. And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened? <BR> <BR>Wife: (shocked) No, no, not at all. He was not that sort of person... <BR> <BR>Inspector: He didn't wear a kilt or play the bagpipes? <BR> <BR>Wife: No, no. <BR> <BR>Inspector: He never got drunk at night or bought home black puddings? <BR> <BR>Wife: No, no. Not at all. <BR> <BR>Inspector: He didn't have an inadequate brain capacity? <BR> <BR>Wife: No, no, not at all. <BR> <BR>Inspector: I see. So by your account Harold Potter was a perfectly ordinary Englishman without any tendency towards being a Scotsman whatsoever? <BR> <BR>Wife: Absolutely, yes. <BR>

Arthur

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! <BR>