rex

<<Well, she did. She even found Web site forums for her.>>

You're right. She did plenty. I just said tht <b>I</b> would be chagrined if it were a situation for a friend of mine, and I <b>missed</b> an opportunity to have helped prepare better. And I'm sure that I have, more than once before. For one thing, there are hours that I sit in front of this computer; could I make better use of that time, sharing experiences with other people in my real life? Sure.

Maybe I was just editorializing about focusing on minimizing the crummy experiences by helping BEFOREhand - - rather than taking pleasure, dissing this secondhand account, AFTER the fact.

suze

Travel is not for everyone (yes Fodorites I said it)! I don't think it has to do with preparation or research, although I know this is important for a successful trip to some people. I *love* to travel, always have fantastic trips, and never do a shred of research (beyond good flights and hotels).

Most of us on the BB have in common that we get a 'rush' being in new, foreign, or unexpected circumstances. It is a great adventure for us.

Others (like the posters coworker) should give themselves a break and stay home or pick vacations that do not ask such a stretch to their natural personalities and daily expectations.

cigalechanta

Suze, I don't remember if I asked you before but are you named after my favorite French apero, 'Suze?&quot;

suze

cigalechanta: Nothing so charming as that. When Fodors put registration into effect all other forms of Susan were taken! But I like your idea better.

louise1928: They have fantastic pancakes and bacon in Mexico but I doubt your co-worker would have been any happier on that trip (my point being I really don't think her discomfort had only to do with foods available in Paris).

Patrick

I'm reminded of an acquaintance who once told me the tour they took of Mexico was wonderful, especially great because the guide they had took them only to places that had all American style food, which delighted her.

rfb

The first time I visited Paris I hated it and firmly resolved never to return. I felt the same way about Rome. After some reflexion, I realized that what I hated was neither Paris nor Rome but my own inadequacies as a foreigner in a different culture. With this realization in mind and having learned to stumble along in both French and Italian I boldly returned to both cities and fell in love.

I can now say that I have visited both so many times, I've lost count; and I fully intend to retire in Rome. The point of all this is, don't give up on your friend; some people just need time to recognize their limitations and learn to overcome them. On the other hand, there's my sister, whose idea of a nice vacation is to stay home.

platzer

&quot;Author: NYCFoodSnob
Date: 04/04/2004, 08:44 am
Message: &quot;She said she has no plans to return&quot;

Paris rejoices!&quot;

Your moniker is good but you could imporove it bny chaning it to &quot;NYArrogantIgnorantFoodSnob.&quot; Truth in advertising and all that.

Joelleinitaly04

Regarding the person who enjoyed American food in Mexico...I don't think that makes that person a bad person. Everyone travels for different reason, and wanting to see sights of another culture does not automatically mean you have to like the food of that culture.
I'm not real crazy about a lot of seafood and probably won't eat any in Venice, where it's supposed to be really good there. I still expect to enjoy the city and learn a lot.

Not being crazy about the food where you are traveling is, however, another good argument for planning well before you go.

But not everyone travels for the same reason I don't agree that if you aren't willing to immerser yourself totally in a culture you need to stay home.
I imagine you don't get the whole picture if you just judge people by the kind of food they are willing to eat.

Joelle

Patrick

I guess my comment about the Mexican food refers to the fact that they ONLY went to American food places and never once sampled Mexican food. How did she know she didn't like Mexican food? Because she once ate at a Taco Bell? And don't forget, they didn't go to those places just because of one person's wishes. The entire tour ONLY went to American style restaurants.

And I don't think anyone here is &quot;JUST judging people by the kind of food they are willing to eat.&quot;

I think never setting foot in a local restaurant or never once trying the local food in a country is just as sad as going to a country and never once setting foot in a local museum or historic building. But I realize that many people don't do that either. I have the same right to that opinion as a person does to believe they won't like a certain food without ever trying it.

kismetchimera

People like your friend should not travel abroad..
These kind of people are too set in their ways to be happy in a different ambiance..

Scarlett

kismet, that is what I was thinking too!
But then there is my Dad. He never travelled to that many places, just wherever you could play golf. (We lived in Hawaii but that is another story)
So when he told me he was going to Scotland, I thought, Oh Boy, he will hate it! He is Southern, born and bred. He likes warm weather and is a picky eater.
So when he got back, I was expecting to hear all his horror stories about no ice, whatever..He still goes on and on about the fun he had, the great golf course, the niceness of the people, the food he tried.
So while some people are set in their ways, some never have Open minds.

kismetchimera

An openmind is very important if we want to enjoy Life to the fullest Scarlett.. I am happy that your Dad had a great time in Scotland..
Never been there, but i hope to visit it someday..

clevelandbrown

Planning is, IMHO, essential to a good trip. My greatest fear in travelling is that we will put all our time and a lot of money into a trip, only to find out later that some masterpiece was a few yards down the road, and we didn't get to see it because we didn't know it was there.

As to American food chains, we often walked by a MacDonalds in Caen, which was doing a great deal of business, yet none of the customers appeared to be tourists! Once we were lost in Hong Kong when we spotted a Starbucks and went inside thinking it would be a bastion of Americaness, and of course it wasn't.

WillTravel

On the other side, there are people who wing a trip without doing research and enjoy it. I am simply not that spontaneous, but I do recognize such people exist. These are generally people who have a &quot;go-with-the-flow&quot; personality, are very friendly and can start up good conversations everywhere, and can shrug off any imperfections.

And there are people who research to death and still don't enjoy their trips too. (Which I hope never happens to me!)

francophile03

People can have differences and still be friends.
The friend reminds me of some of my coworkers. They travel the US alot but never abroad. Asked them if they'd like to visit Europe and the answer is always not sure. None have made it there yet and they can all afford it so it's not a money issue. I suspect it's being afraid of going somewhere they're not used to.
My boss too sounds like a typical story. He says he'll never visit Paris because he doesn't know to speak French. Yet he says he'd rather visit Spain since he took some Spanish in h.s. I told him that he need not know French fluently just a few words. Oh well, his loss.

cigalechanta

I think the poster meant putting her friend's trip on the web which you know would get a few mean-spirited remarks.

P_M

&lt;&lt;You should be thankful that you did not go with her on this trip.&gt;&gt;

Rex, this is my statement with which you said you quite disagree. I completely respect your right to disagree with me, but I'm a little surprised at the suggesion that I was responsible for making sure my friend enjoyed the trip. Please allow me to clarify my last note, as my point must not have come across.

There were actually 4 of us on this trip. I had been to Monterrey several times before so I was acting as tour guide, which I was happy to do. I did tell this person what to expect in Mexico, as best I could, and he seemed as excited about the trip as anyone else. However, once we got there he went into a complete state of culture shock. I know this is hard for Fodorites to relate to, but some people get nervous when they are out of their comfort zone, and compeletely freak out when they are in a drastically different culture. If you have never travelled with such a person, consider yourself lucky. It's hard to enjoy your trip when everyone is spending all of thier time and energy trying to pacify someone who complains constantly and can't understand why they don't do things like we do. We did all we could to help, but we simply could not force him to open his mind and enjoy the trip. This is why I said Louise s/b glad she wasn't travelling with this person.

Rex, I hope this clears things up, and I look forward to meeting you again on the boards.

rex

I was not disagreeing with you the person, nor even your perspectives on what it MIGHT be like to travel with this person - - I was disagreeing with the sentiment in the abstract.

I have not traveled with people who could not find a comfort zone. I think that I have traveled with a few who would?/might? have had trouble with the wrong trip, or the wrong (lack of) planning or the &quot;wrong person(s)&quot; accompanying them. I like to think (perhaps I flatter myself) that I made the trip turn our quite good (if not excellent), when it otherwise might have been quite bad.

Maybe you're right, I really SHOULD be glad (as Louise should be? we don't really know) to have not been on a trip with someone who could NEVER get happy on a trip.

In any event, there is no reason to feel adversarial, and if I came across as too &quot;attacking&quot; or hostile to you (or that isolated sentence of yours that I lifted), then I spologize.

suze

I think this is a great discussion with lots of different pieces of good advice. Be careful who you choose to travel internationally with (I have several lovely and well-traveled friends who I wouldn't leave the country with!). Accept that people have different 'comfort zones' for new experiences. Know that McDonalds is often a favorite with locals, politics aside.

Joelleinitaly04

&quot;I have the same right to that opinion&quot;

I've never understood why people who are disagreed with assert their right to have one - is there something about having an opinion challenged that is some sort of threat to your rights?

My opinion is that it is very odd to be sad when someone comes home happy from a trip and one of the things they were happy about was the fact they got to eat food they were comfortable with.

To me, sad is reserved for things like people dying, not people who travel differently than me. But that's just me.

No threat to anyone's rights was intended with this post.

Joelle