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Jamikins & Bikerscott Pickle Themselves in France (again)

Jamikins & Bikerscott Pickle Themselves in France (again)

Old May 23rd, 2011, 12:38 PM
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Jamikins & Bikerscott Pickle Themselves in France (again)

Our rambling two and a half week adventure drinking wine, champagne, pastis, eating various bits of various animals, an occasional vegetable, being guided by Gavin our Australian sat nav in Nancy, our French hire car.
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Old May 23rd, 2011, 12:39 PM
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Day One – Epernay – May 20, 2011

There are few things in life that are as good as starting a vacation on a Friday, when everyone else has to schlep off to work as usual. Even getting up at 6am didn’t grate as much as it usually does when all I have to look forward to is a 3 hour round trip commute with 8 hours of work in between, especially when we’re heading to France for a two week adventure.

We made it to the Eurostar station at St Pancras in record time, having discovered the joys of the overland network connection from London Bridge (as opposed to our normal DLR trip to Bank and then fighting to get on the Northern Line to head north). After a quick stop in Boots to collect essential supplies (Zantac, for the excess of rich food and wine, and Imodium, for the same root cause), we went through security and got onto the Eurostar.

Unfortunately a group of older English partiers were sitting directly in front of us, evidently on their way to Brussels for a weekend of debauchery. They cracked their first bottle of wine to pair with their Tesco sausage rolls and scotch eggs at 8:30 am, and didn’t show any signs of stopping by the time we hit Lille an hour and half later – they were a bit the worse for wear by this point. While they may have had trouble standing, they were having no issues being heard. My clever plan of getting a good half hour nap was down the drain.

We found the Europcar agency in the train station and signed the requisite paperwork for our car, and then spent far longer than we should have looking for it. The door to the parking garage is cleverly disguised and located behind a large lift, and the lifts down to the lower levels themselves are completely absent (or not working). With the help of a disgruntled parking garage attendant we finally found our car – a Renault Clio only marginally bigger then one of my shoes. Despite appearances, we managed to cram both our cases in and set the sat nav for Epernay.

As usual, the auto routes in France, while a bit pricey, are excellent to drive on. We made a quick stop at one of the Aires along the way for lunch (which was surprisingly good) and managed to get to Epernay by 2:30, which was pretty good time really. The new sat nav worked well, although the new voices aren’t a shadow of the friendly helpfulness of Tracy, the old sat nav.

The B&B we’ve booked in was right on the Avenue de Champagne in Epernay, which means it’s basically at the epicentre of all things bubbly in the world of wine. To walk from our place into town, we pass Pol Rogers, Moët and Chandon, Perrier Jouët, among others. The room itself is relatively nice, although there isn’t a separate bathroom – the toilet, sink, and bathtub are right in the room itself with just a flimsy and oh-so-see-through curtain to separate them from the rest of the room. I’ve always been a bit shy in this department, so it’ll be interesting to see how I deal with it for three days.

After setting in, we walked into town to find a convivial bar for a glass or two of champagne. The first place we found seemed to be infested with several swarms of various types of small fly-type insects, so after a very tasty glass we left for sunnier and more bug-free venues. This is where the trouble started.

I think we must’ve headed the wrong direction, because we couldn’t find a wine bar for love nor money. The one place we did eventually find after almost a full circuit of the town both managed to not offer wines by the glass (let alone champagne) at the same time as being incredibly rude. We walked back to the big roundabout right at the end of Avenue de Champagne, the one we’d dismissed earlier as being on the edge of town and assuming more would be available, and sat down for a drink.

As it turned out, it was a fantastic spot to engage in one of our favourite pastimes…well, two of our favourite pastimes – people watching and drinking very tasty beverages. Two glasses of very nice champagne each later we had made the following observations (not necessarily in this order):
• Despite all the trips to France over the years, we still love it here
• Champagne tastes good, whatever the occasion
• There are no 30-somethings in Epernay (as far as we could determine, based on clientele at the café we were at – not exactly scientific, but it was the best we could do)
• French teenagers spend far too much time kissing each other on the cheeks, time which would be better spent doing something about the incredibly stupid looking hair they seem to favour (at least among the boys)

We went back to the B&B to freshen up before dinner and then walked the short distance to Le Coquille, the restaurant recommended by the sweet old guy at the B&B. Le Coquille is exactly what we love about France – not pretentious, friendly, not overly expensive, very tasty food made by people who seem to care about what they’re doing. Dinner was excellent and we definitely enjoyed our evening there.

Clearly we needed to finish the evening with a final glass of champagne, so we walked back into town to find a champagne bar. We were headed in the general direction of Le Banque, the posh looking place just on the edge of the big square. On the way we walked past a nice looking, somewhat casual champagne bar. After poking our heads into Le Banque, we decided to go back to the other place, as it seemed more our style.

Part of the way through a half bottle of very good champagne, the somewhat drunk people at the table next to us introduced themselves. They are staying at the same B&B as us and had seen us earlier in the day as we’d left. Lauren and Jay were from Toronto, and were doing the grand tour of France, having spent a few days in Paris, another few in Eparney, and are taking the train to Provence tomorrow.

They had managed to drink a flight of six glasses of champagne each, followed by another half bottle, on top of whatever they’d had at dinner. They were impressively drunk, but as it was on champagne were also very cheerful about it. We chatted for a bit before they decided that they’d had enough for the night and headed back to the B&B. We had a final glass of champers before coming to the same conclusion ourselves.

At the end of the night, a quick inventory shows we’ve had 6 individual glasses of champagne each, a champagne-based aperitif each before dinner, a bottle of wine shared between us at dinner, and another half bottle of champagne after dinner. Not bad for our first day in France…
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Old May 23rd, 2011, 12:53 PM
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Hello Fodorites! I will add restaurant info and B&B opinions at the end of each regional report. And of course the photos:

For day 1:
https://picasaweb.google.com/jamie.a...eat=directlink

Enjoy...and back to our wine...
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Old May 23rd, 2011, 12:56 PM
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Perfect timing! Just last night I watched James May and Oz Clark in Champagne... I'm laughing as much along with you. ;^)
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Old May 23rd, 2011, 01:03 PM
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Great start, but it does seem true to me that Epernay attracts mostly old people. Reims is the champagne town for the younger crowds, and OH MY GOD!, the majesty of the current illumination show for the 800th anniversary of the cathedral of Reims is beyond belief!
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Old May 23rd, 2011, 04:37 PM
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Hilarious. I'm thrilled to stumble upon another BikerScott/Jamikins adventure.

<i>There are few things in life that are as good as starting a vacation on a Friday</i>

But one of those things would be starting vacation on a Monday -- which I get to do in a couple of weeks.

<i>French teenagers spend far too much time kissing each other on the cheeks, time which would be better spent doing something about the incredibly stupid looking hair they seem to favour</i>

Do you have any photos or description of this stupid hair, because I want to make sure my teen son fits right in. (Although I'll admit that the haircut his dad let the barber give him last week would be hard to beat in the dork department.)

<i>There are no 30-somethings in Epernay.</i>

Wherever I go these days, I notice how old everyone else seems to be. It's always a bit of a shock when I look in the mirror and realize that I'm a good decade past 30-something myself. Good Lord when did that happen? I must have lost track of time in between those bottles of champagne.

<i>At the end of the night, a quick inventory shows. . .</i>

I find it rather impressive that you were able to conduct an inventory at that point.

Eagerly awaiting more from the dynamic duo.
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Old May 23rd, 2011, 05:04 PM
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I feel the same Sap - I'm loving the report and feel lucky to have stumbled here myself! Great storytelling and I am now building an itinerary for my next trip.

Firstly, I need to enjoy my much anticipated trip to Portugal in july (via London then at the end Madrid - don't you love those airmiles and where they force you to land and fly out of?!)
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Old May 23rd, 2011, 05:27 PM
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This is going to be awesome.
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Old May 23rd, 2011, 06:23 PM
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ohboyohboyohboy -- I can't wait to keep reading this! Hi, James, hi Biker, from me and SO!
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Old May 23rd, 2011, 07:10 PM
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Always look forward to your fun trips and great photos!
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Old May 23rd, 2011, 10:50 PM
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Hi GTG!!! And thanks for reading everyone!

We are currently in Loches, Loire Valley - maybe the coolest village ever! So we are a few days behind due to a lack of wifi in Epernay, but we will be back, so keep posted...off to visit come chateaux this morning...
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Old May 24th, 2011, 08:45 AM
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You two always take my kind of trip!

I get vicarious pleasure in following your adventures.

Have a great time and keep the reports and photos coming.
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Old May 24th, 2011, 09:33 AM
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Glad everyone is enjoying the report so far - many more adventures to come (some involving wine, which may come as a surprise to many)
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Old May 24th, 2011, 09:39 AM
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Day Two – Getting Settled – May 21, 2011

Breakfast at Parva Domus is scheduled for the unsociable hours of 7am through 9am. This, in my opinion, is far too early and narrow of a window for a properly relaxing holiday. On the other hand, it did force us up and out of bed at a reasonable hour and gave us an earlier start to the day than we probably would have otherwise had.

Breakfast itself was typical for a French B&B – bread, croissants, coffee, orange juice, a selection of cheeses, ham, yoghurt and other “continental breakfast” favourites. Jay and Lauren, who we’d met the previous night, were just finishing up when we went down and looking much the worse for wear. While champagne-based hangovers I find are very difficult to achieve, when one does manage to bring one on, it’s impressive. Lauren did not look healthy.

We didn’t have a particularly ambitious itinerary for the day – the plan was to visit the market, visit Moet & Chandon, then relax with our books and a bottle or two of champagne on the balcony at the B&B. We managed to achieve all of these goals, with more thrown in for good measure.

It took us ages to find the market. Our assumption was that Epernay is a fairly small town, and it wouldn’t be difficult to find. This turned out to not be the case, but mostly because we weren’t really thinking clearly. We’d found the big market hall the previous day on our wanders around the town, but when we put two and two together we only came up with three and didn’t immediately connect that that’s where the Saturday morning market would be.

Despite this, we enjoyed our saunter around the centre of town looking for the market, and made it that much more of an accomplishment when we finally found it (feeling rather sheepish, especially as I’d made Jamie go into two separate stores to ask where the market was).

It was a typical French village market – loads of beautiful and fresh fruit and veg, flowers, all of the cheese you could possibly want, all of the usual meat and some very unusual meat products (two horse meat butchers, and at least one that seemed to focus purely on the bits that wouldn’t normally be eaten by sensible people – tripes, brains, tongue, head, ears, feet, tail, etc…). We spent about an hour wandering back and forth looking at all the selection before deciding to stock up on some beautiful strawberries and a bag of fresh cherries for our afternoon snack.

Having checked off the first of our list for the day, we deeply felt the need for coffee (at least I did). We stopped in at our little bar on the main roundabout (Le Progres – I think there is one in every town by law), where I had a grand café crème and Jamie went for a lemonade, which I think turned out to be sprite or similar. It’s amazing how much time we can spend sitting and drinking various beverages whilst on holiday, be if coffee, wine, or champagne.

A quick stop in at the B&B to put on some proper shoes and then we were off to the grand house of Moet & Chandon for our tour and tasting. Avenue de Champagne is filled with all the major champagne houses, however most of them are by appointment only, with Moet one of the only ones that does guided tours for the plebs. The waiting room was well stocked with tourists, and our 11:30 tour group was of about 15 people.

The tour wasn’t a typical winery tour, of which we’ve taken far too many. There was little discussion of the grapes, the pressing or the fermentation. It focussed more on the importance of the cellars (there are 28 kilometres of cellars under Moet for example, on 3 levels – freaking HUGE) and the care that it taken with the aging and de-sedimenting of the wine.

At the tasting after the tour, a group of women were taking photos of each other in the tasting room. Jamie offered to take a group photo of them, and we all got to talking. First, we discovered that we’re all from Vancouver. Then we all found that we’d worked for the same large company at the same time. Finally, it turned out that they’d all worked either with or for my dad, who also worked at the same company. Talk about a small world. We had the tour guide (with the very non-french name Barbara) take a group photo of us all so that they could email it to my dad. Very bizarre.

All the walking in cellars and drinking of wine had worked up an appetite in us, so we decided to find some lunch, then walk out of town and take some photos of one of the vineyards. We made it as far as Le Chapon Fin on the far side of town and had what we’d felt would be a healthy and light lunch – salad for both of us. Of course, this being France, Jamie’s salad consisted of a few leaves, baked goats cheese on croutons, lardons, fried potatoes, poached eggs, and a few slices of tomato. Mine, on the other hand, was very health-conscious – the same few salad leaves, half an avocado, a quarter of a fresh pineapple, 6 grilled prawn, and some marie-rose sauce for good measure. I love France.

After lunch we decided that the walk into the vineyards was a bit ambitious, especially as we planned a day of driving and exploring the vineyards for tomorrow. We’d made it as far as the train station (which was more or less across the road) before deciding this, and turned back into the centre of town. We’d just had lunch, and it was too early to start drinking, so we went for a bit of a walk about town.

Somewhat surprisingly for a Saturday afternoon, there weren’t that many people about. It seems that Epernay is a very quiet little town most of the time, for all that it’s the centre of champagne in the world. We stopped in at two places and made reservations for dinner for both tonight and tomorrow, then walked back to the B&B for our afternoon of strawberries and champagne.

It turned out to be a beautiful afternoon indeed – we sat for a few hours and read, chatted, sipped chilled champers and nibbled on fresh strawberries. The only way it could have been any better was if we’d then had a nap, and as we are on vacation, we did just that. We woke up more relaxed than I thought was humanly possible, and considering the lack of activity for the day, a bit peckish.

We walked back into town and sat down for dinner. While we were a bit rushed by the waitress, dinner itself was reasonably good and quite well priced. I don’t know that I’d go back, or recommend that anyone go out of their way for it, it was decent and I definitely can’t complain.

After dinner we felt that a final nightcap was in order before we headed back to the B&B for bed. Le Progres was the obvious choice given the warm and cloud-free evening, as we could sit outside and enjoy the beautiful weather.

It probably would have been better, in retrospect, if we’d been a bit more careful in reading the menu. We thought we were ordering a half bottle of champagne, given the price, and the bottle was in a separate section on the drinks menu. Had we looked closer, we would have realized that it was just a different producer of wine. The half bottle of red we got turned out to be quite tasty and a nice break from all the champagne if I’m honest. Plus, it came in a bag of ice water so was nice and cool and refreshing.

We sat and chatted and watched people having dinner and drinks for good hour or so before deciding to call it a night. A bit sunburned despite the sunscreen, but relaxed and happy – I’d call that a very good day indeed.
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Old May 24th, 2011, 09:42 AM
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And the photos for Day 2:
https://picasaweb.google.com/jamie.a...eat=directlink

Just off for another lovely meal in Loches! Bon Soiree!
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Old May 25th, 2011, 04:02 AM
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As always, a great story! Thanks for sharing. Will look at your photos later.
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Old May 25th, 2011, 04:02 AM
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As always, a great story! Thanks for sharing. Will look at your photos later.
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Old May 25th, 2011, 08:39 AM
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Day Three – Driving into Calf Heads – May 22, 2011

We got up again at 8am for our continental breakfast, which seemed much earlier than yesterday. Apparently a two hour nap in the middle of the afternoon does not make for a good night’s sleep, and I think both of us had trouble drifting off last night.

After our tasty repast, we packed up Nancy (our hired Renault Clio – our sat nav with the Australian accent is named Gavin, or Gav-O/Gazza for short) and drove out of town. On the itinerary for the day was a tour of the vineyards and villages of the champagne region, with stops for lunch and photographs along the way.

We chose, after getting out of Epernay itself, to relegate Gav-o to the backseat, only to be called up on in emergency situations. Jamie had a map with extremely limited detail as provided by the tourist office, and if it’s free, it must be quality, or so they say, evidently.

We drove for about six hours in total. I’m not completely sure where we went, as I didn’t have the map and Gav-o was giving us the silent treatment, but I did see the towns of Pierry, Moussy, St Martin-d’Ablois, then Boursault, Oeuilly and Festingy. At this point, we took a wrong turn and ended up some time later in Orbais l’Abbaye. For those keeping track, this is sort of the equivalent of aiming for Seattle and hitting Dallas instead (only not on such a grand scale). A very long detour back up north and we found the vines again.

At this point, we felt that lunch was in order and started looking out for a place to stop and eat. We realized that while the villages and towns of Champagne are very scenic, unless you know where to look there doesn’t seem to be many places to eat (and clearly we didn’t know where to look). We eventually found a restaurant on the river in Damery, however as we didn’t have a reservation, there was no room for us. Bugger. Much driving and a scenic viewpoint later in the aptly named town Belleville (not on the map, but a nice view nonetheless), we found a roadside restaurant between St-Imoges and Champillon.

Now, if you’ve never had lunch at a French country restaurant, you might not be prepared for the serving sizes. We have had lunches such as this, but apparently have forgotten, because we each ordered the faux fillet. What we received was a huge slab of beef, with at least 3 ounces of unmelted garlic and parsley butter sitting in all it’s artery hardening glory on top. This with a side order of fries each as well. We made a valiant effort, each of us, but in the end had to admit defeat. It did make us feel slightly better than the French couple at the table next to us made similarly surprised noises about the serving sizes and seemed to have much trouble finishing as well.

Sufficiently suffuncified, we were back into the car and off to the last bit of the champagne tour, focussing on the town of Bouzy so we could take our photo in front of the sign (yes, we are a bit childish, but we have fun so aren’t so concerned about it). From here we made our eventual way back to Epernay for a much deserved break at the B&B for some reading and charging of various batteries.

Dinner was planned for 8pm at Le Cave de Champagne, but by 4:00 we were ready to leave the flat and head out into town. The only reasonable course of action was to start at Le Progres for a fortifying glass or two of champagne while we considered our options. The obvious choice, as it turned out after the two glasses of champagne was to try the flight of champagne at the champagne bar up the road – 6 glasses of local non-super-house champagnes for £39, in a very charming little bar.

Our pre-dinner entertainment, besides the champagne of course, was surreptitiously watching in horror as the middle-aged and extremely drunk couple at the table next to us came as close to having carnal knowledge of each other as is possible in a public place without being arrested. The lowlight of the display was when I was given a shocking “Basic Instinct” moment by the woman. Unpleasant.

Eventually they left and the evening picked up. We finished our flight and walked the short 20 metres down the road to the restaurant for dinner. We’d heard mixed reviews of the restaurant and had a very mixed experience ourselves.

The other two dinners we’d had, we’d enjoyed a very relaxed and casual atmosphere along with good food (especially at Le Coquille). At Le Cave de Champagne, after seating us and taking our orders, they seemed aggressively indifferent to the course of our evening. Not once were our glasses topped up (we’d ordered a bottle of champagne, which I poured all night), nor were we asked how we were enjoying our meals or if we needed anything. I can live with food that isn’t Michelin three star quality, however I can’t stand poor service.

As for the food, I’m not sure what I can say. I have a philosophy that I don’t know if I like something until I try it, paired with a desire to try new things, especially if it’s a delicacy in a region I’m travelling in. This has lead to some disastrous yet memorable meals – pied de cochon (fried pigs foot) in Paris, tripe in tomato sauce in Rome, Andouilette (sausage made from the lower intestine of a pig – tastes good but there’s apparently no way to get rid of the smell) in Rennes, and now Tete de Veau in Epernay.

To be clear, Tete de Veau translates to “head of calf.” I’d read about it in Michael Sadler’s “An Englishman in Paris,” which I’d greatly enjoyed. I’ve also had tete de couchon in Paris which was incredibly tasty. I thought I’d give it a go, how bad could it possibly be?

In a word, it was bad. Not so much the taste, as it didn’t have much, it was more the texture (or lack thereof). After discussion later with the waiter at Le Progres where we stopped for a final nightcap, I’d probably been served the lower lip and/or chin of the calf, which is pretty gelatinous. This with a generous portion of brain and I think some tongue, was more than I could handle. I made a valiant effort and ate all the actual meaty bits, as well as a good portion of the brain and all of the tongue. The lip/chin bit was my downfall.

I’ve been trying to come up with a way to describe the texture of the skin and fatty meaty bit underneath, and the best I can come up with is slightly beefy flavoured warm Turkish delight, without the sweetness or stickiness. That doesn’t quite do it justice, as one could almost convince oneself that warm beefy Turkish delight without the sweetness or stickiness could be enjoyable. Beef lip and/or chin is not enjoyable, even with the warm vinegary sauce it was served with.

I ate a bit of it, but then I thought about what I was eating, and concentrated very briefly on the texture in my mouth, and was nearly forced to spit it out. Thanks to a large swallow of water I managed to get it down, then had a second bite to make sure the gag reflex wasn’t a mistake, hoping that it was and I’d be able to finish my meal. It wasn’t a mistake. I came closer the second time to losing it, but another gulp of water saw me through, at which point I admitted defeat.

The woman who took my plate was horrified at the amount of quivering goo left on my plate, and made a rapidfire comment in French about it. She then took it away, and I heard much commotion in the kitchen. Evidently leaving the best bit of the face just isn’t done and they were very concerned.

We finished our meal with very tasty deserts, although mine was possibly slightly overshadowed by the horror with what had just befallen me. Bottle complete and plates clean, we paid up and went back to Le Progres for a final glass of champagne, and also so Jamie could laugh at me for a while for ordering and attempting to eat tete de veau.

So ends our stay in Champagne – a very successful, if slightly expensive few days (bottles of champagne, while cheaper here than in London, are still quite pricey). Tomorrow is going to be another day of driving as we make our way to the Loire to explore the garden of France and to see if they have as many chateaux as it seems they do there.
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Old May 25th, 2011, 08:42 AM
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And here are the pics: https://picasaweb.google.com/GoArsen...eat=directlink

Just off for a bit of wine and a crepe for dinner!
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Old May 25th, 2011, 08:59 AM
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I am still laughing at the description of head of the calf meal. I enjoyed your pictures. My favorite was the church with the field of purple and white flowers in front.
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