Is it safe for 3 American teenagers to travel Italy together?
Sep 16th, 2012, 10:26 AM
#1
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Is it safe for 3 American teenagers to travel Italy together?
After my high school graduation this coming summer, 2 friends of mine and I are planning a 2 week trip to Italy. We would like to visit Rome, Florence, Venice, Milan, and possibly the Cinque Terre, although with our financial (and thereby time) constraint, probably not. We had our entire plan worked out - our schedule, our train passes, a chosen flight, etc.... And then the fourth member of our group dropped out for financial reasons. Now, we have the problem of one less person than our parents required us to have for permission to go on this trip. The requirement was set for safety concerns - so, now I want to know, how unsafe would we be with only 3 people? I will be the youngest - the guy and girl planning to go will both be sophomores in college by that time... I have been to Italy once, but Europe twice... My guy friend has travelled abroad many, many times, so we have some experience behind us. We would probably be staying in B&Bs and hostels with our budget. Are hostels really as safe as they advertise themselves to be?
Any advice and feedback would be MUCH appreciated. Thank you!
Any advice and feedback would be MUCH appreciated. Thank you!
Sep 16th, 2012, 10:41 AM
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I'm not sure why the parents thought 4 was safe and 3 was not. Can you elaborate? Are the "guy and girl" you describe a dating-couple? Is the worry that they will want to be alone and you will be left on your own too much and sleeping in a single room?
Sep 16th, 2012, 10:55 AM
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Natalia..if you were my kid or granddaughter, I would sign off in a heartbeat. What a wonderful trip you are planning.
One of my grandaughters did a good chunk of Europe solo as a Freshman in college, only meeting up with one of her oldest frends perodically. She stayed in a wide variety of hostels.
She had gone to Mendoza, Argentina for one of her high school junior semsters. Dari is married now and has tons of great memories of her travel adventures. Tell your parents that a Fodor's Travel Forum member said "go"..that should pull a lot of weight!
stu tower
One of my grandaughters did a good chunk of Europe solo as a Freshman in college, only meeting up with one of her oldest frends perodically. She stayed in a wide variety of hostels.
She had gone to Mendoza, Argentina for one of her high school junior semsters. Dari is married now and has tons of great memories of her travel adventures. Tell your parents that a Fodor's Travel Forum member said "go"..that should pull a lot of weight!
stu tower
Sep 16th, 2012, 11:00 AM
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If your parents are big enough fools to make decisions about your well-being based on being told that "a Fodor's Travel Forum member said "go" -- then I'm now worried for your all-around safety, even if you stay home!
What would matter to me is whether any of you speak Italian and whether your 2 remaining travel mates are airheads or sophomoric binge drinkers. I'd need to know they can handle emergencies and are mature enough to understand that by traveling as a group, every one of you has a responsibility for the others.
If "mature" doesn't really describe who is left in the party, then your parents do have a responsibility here.
But I agree more details are needed to give you any good advice other than grampa said "sure! my grandaughter did it!"
What would matter to me is whether any of you speak Italian and whether your 2 remaining travel mates are airheads or sophomoric binge drinkers. I'd need to know they can handle emergencies and are mature enough to understand that by traveling as a group, every one of you has a responsibility for the others.
If "mature" doesn't really describe who is left in the party, then your parents do have a responsibility here.
But I agree more details are needed to give you any good advice other than grampa said "sure! my grandaughter did it!"
Sep 16th, 2012, 11:03 AM
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Actually, the "guy friend" is MY boyfriend, but the parents know and trust us well enough that that wasn't the concern... And, it would seem that my parents ARE now convinced that 3 is okay, but my girl fried's are not. Any advice for that?? We're so close!! Ha ha.
Sep 16th, 2012, 11:08 AM
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All 3 of us will be 18 at that time. We are all very responsible and highly respected by our teachers and parents... There would be no concern of us making irresponsible decisions. I think the concern is stemming from the "stranger" factor, not us.
Sep 16th, 2012, 01:41 PM
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Well in lots of places you are an adult at 18 so I don't really understand why it is an issue of "being allowed" to go.
When I was 18 (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth) I travelled all over Europe with a friend the same age for over 4 months, and we didn't have cell phones and the internet etc then.
You will be fine, hostels will be fine, B and B's will be fine, as long as you take the normal precautions you would use at home if travelling and use common sense.
There are probably more weird strangers in your own country than in Italy just percentage of population-wise.
My son travelled around Australia with a buddy after his high school graduation last year for 5 months, they were 18 and stayed mostly in hostels with no problems. In fact they enjoyed most of the hostels and made friends with other young people from all over the world.
I hope you do take this trip, you will have such a great time and have memories to last a lifetime as well as probably be bitten by the travel bug for future trips!
When I was 18 (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth) I travelled all over Europe with a friend the same age for over 4 months, and we didn't have cell phones and the internet etc then.
You will be fine, hostels will be fine, B and B's will be fine, as long as you take the normal precautions you would use at home if travelling and use common sense.
There are probably more weird strangers in your own country than in Italy just percentage of population-wise.
My son travelled around Australia with a buddy after his high school graduation last year for 5 months, they were 18 and stayed mostly in hostels with no problems. In fact they enjoyed most of the hostels and made friends with other young people from all over the world.
I hope you do take this trip, you will have such a great time and have memories to last a lifetime as well as probably be bitten by the travel bug for future trips!
Sep 16th, 2012, 01:57 PM
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HI N,
From what you have told us, if you were my grand-daughter or one of my students, I would have no reservations about your going with your friends.
A word of advice; In Italian "no" is "No". "Yes" is "Si".
Enjoy your visit.
From what you have told us, if you were my grand-daughter or one of my students, I would have no reservations about your going with your friends.
A word of advice; In Italian "no" is "No". "Yes" is "Si".
Enjoy your visit.
Sep 16th, 2012, 02:02 PM
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Maybe the parents who are still objecting are worried that since you and your guy are a couple that their daughter will be left alone, or that it is not safe for her to be sleeping solo in a strange hotel -- or is it possible they suspect she'll not want to look like 3rd wheel and therefore will end up looking for a partner and will fall prey to a "Continental" cad?
I'm really just guessing here, but maybe if you reassure the worried parents that the 3 of you will be sticking together like glue and that the trip is about friends all together having a great time learning about Italy, they'll relax and give the green light.
I suppose it is pointless to add that I went to Europe when I was 18 without it ever occurring to me I should ask my mother if I could....
I'm really just guessing here, but maybe if you reassure the worried parents that the 3 of you will be sticking together like glue and that the trip is about friends all together having a great time learning about Italy, they'll relax and give the green light.
I suppose it is pointless to add that I went to Europe when I was 18 without it ever occurring to me I should ask my mother if I could....
Sep 16th, 2012, 03:03 PM
#12
I agree with raincitygirl's comments, especially if you're over 18 years of age, but if your parents are contributing any money toward your trip (that you need in order to go) they can set the parameters of their gift. If that's the case, you need either to save the additional money needed or abide by their rules.
I myself traveled around Europe mostly alone starting at the age of 16, but I'll be the first to say that the world is a very different place than it was in the late 1960s, 1970s and even 1980s. Several of my nieces and nephews have made post-graduation trips like yours without any problems, but one niece made a seemingly benign choice/decision that affected her life (for both good and bad) for a few years. She too was "very responsible and highly respected by teachers and parents."
I myself traveled around Europe mostly alone starting at the age of 16, but I'll be the first to say that the world is a very different place than it was in the late 1960s, 1970s and even 1980s. Several of my nieces and nephews have made post-graduation trips like yours without any problems, but one niece made a seemingly benign choice/decision that affected her life (for both good and bad) for a few years. She too was "very responsible and highly respected by teachers and parents."
Sep 16th, 2012, 04:15 PM
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Jean, your being cryptic opened the window to all sorts of unsavory possibilities in my mind -- probably more than a description of the benign choice and its consequences would have. It also raised a question in my mind as to whether it had anything to do with age or travel. People make life-alteraing choices at all ages, and often within 25 miles (or less) of their home. You seemed to be trying to issue some kind of warning to a young person -- and dismissing the notion that parents and teachers having a good opinion of the travelers' maturity was meaningful. just what was the warning?
Sep 16th, 2012, 04:19 PM
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thursdaysd,
They will be safer in Italy in some respects and less safe in others -- especially if none speaks Italian and needs emergency health assistance. However, there are many ways to compensate for the lack of Italian and put safeguards in place with regards to health protection so the parents have more peace of mind. I do agree that if the worry is that the young girl is more likely to get attacked in a group of 3 than a group of 4, that is a needless fear.
They will be safer in Italy in some respects and less safe in others -- especially if none speaks Italian and needs emergency health assistance. However, there are many ways to compensate for the lack of Italian and put safeguards in place with regards to health protection so the parents have more peace of mind. I do agree that if the worry is that the young girl is more likely to get attacked in a group of 3 than a group of 4, that is a needless fear.
Sep 16th, 2012, 04:32 PM
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IMHO anyone old enough to go to college is old enough to go to europe. But I'm concerned that the parents are so involved in this trip. For young adults - who should be planning and organizing and paying for this trip themselves - why do they need parental permission?
3 young adults should be perfectly safe in europe as long as they don;t do anything obviously stupid or careless. I went with my BF when I was 19 and our DDs spent evenings in student cafes/pubs when in their teens when they traveled with us.
As long as you follow the basic rules: 1) don;t drink too much or leave drinks unguarded, 2) don;t go off with people you don;t know; 3) hold onto your valuables at all times (literally in your hands) and 4) always make sure you know who is in your vicinity and what is going on around you (esp at train stations and on any public transit) you should be safe.
And if your friend decides not to go - why can;t you and your boyfriend just go by yourselves?
3 young adults should be perfectly safe in europe as long as they don;t do anything obviously stupid or careless. I went with my BF when I was 19 and our DDs spent evenings in student cafes/pubs when in their teens when they traveled with us.
As long as you follow the basic rules: 1) don;t drink too much or leave drinks unguarded, 2) don;t go off with people you don;t know; 3) hold onto your valuables at all times (literally in your hands) and 4) always make sure you know who is in your vicinity and what is going on around you (esp at train stations and on any public transit) you should be safe.
And if your friend decides not to go - why can;t you and your boyfriend just go by yourselves?
Sep 16th, 2012, 04:41 PM
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Natalia,
One suggestion:
In your original post, you asked whether "hostels are really as safe as they are advertised to be."
If that is the concern, you should ask that question on the Lonely Planet travel message boards and also on the Bootsnall forum boards if they are still active. Very few people here, I suspect, every stay in hostels (although if they weren't safe, plenty people here are parents and grandparents of young travelers, and I think they would have heard about it).
Just in general, the places in Italy you are going are very safe, the hostels are filled with young travelers just like you and if there were a lot of problems in these places, you will hear about it. No secrets.
If you go to those boards I mentioned, be specific about which hostels you plan to stay in. Some are probably run better than others. I think you can find answers that will reassure people who very understandably care about your safety and your friend's safety.
One suggestion:
In your original post, you asked whether "hostels are really as safe as they are advertised to be."
If that is the concern, you should ask that question on the Lonely Planet travel message boards and also on the Bootsnall forum boards if they are still active. Very few people here, I suspect, every stay in hostels (although if they weren't safe, plenty people here are parents and grandparents of young travelers, and I think they would have heard about it).
Just in general, the places in Italy you are going are very safe, the hostels are filled with young travelers just like you and if there were a lot of problems in these places, you will hear about it. No secrets.
If you go to those boards I mentioned, be specific about which hostels you plan to stay in. Some are probably run better than others. I think you can find answers that will reassure people who very understandably care about your safety and your friend's safety.
Sep 16th, 2012, 04:57 PM
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Without meaning for it to happen, it is very likely that you and your BF will pair off and the other young lady will become a third wheel or feel like one much of the time. That is reality. Nothing to do with safety, etc. only how things will play out on the trip for the people involved. Somebody is going to feel (or actually be) left out, or at the very least, feel uncomfortable. Find another guy to share a room with your guy or another girl to hang out with the other girl sometimes, or don't go as a threesome.
It might actually be that the other young woman doesn't want to go as a third person with you and your BF, but doesn't want to tell you, so is letting her parents play the "bad guys." Good for them if that is the case. Don't push it.
It might actually be that the other young woman doesn't want to go as a third person with you and your BF, but doesn't want to tell you, so is letting her parents play the "bad guys." Good for them if that is the case. Don't push it.
