Monica

We are all in the same boat with the same feelings, same sadness, same "I can't belive what happened," same depression and so on. I have not turned on the radio today at work because I just can't bear to hear another news article. When I'm busy working at my job, I do forget about last weeks events. But then my mind starts to wander or I see postings here or someone down the hallway says something, and I go back to seeing those buildings on fire and coming down. This weekend was absolutely beautiful in Maryland, yet besides working 4 hours overtime at work, I did nothing! Tony asked me about going out Saturday evening and I didn't feel like going out. We sat at home and watched t.v. <BR> <BR>I will continue to make my plans for my November Italy trip and if seems safe to travel at that time I will go! <BR> <BR>Thanks everyone for being a friend. We will eventually place these events in the back of our minds and hopefully live our normal lives, but we will never forget! <BR> <BR>Take care everyone!

xxx

I just wanted to write that all of your reactions are normal. The human mind, by its nature, tries to make sense of things. We want to know why. The hard reality is that there often are no answers to those questions. Accepting that fact, as well as working through the anger, sadness and grief are part of the healing process. We will never "get back to normal" as we are forever changed. BUT, and here is the silver lining, we will in time, find our "new normal." This forum can provide a healthy outlet to work toward developing our new normal. I do not say these things lightly. Although I am not a mental health professional, I have been trained in peer support and the basics of PTSD. In addition, I had my own brush with violence that required me to find my own new normal. I continue to find the "new normal" process invaluable both personally and professionally. I hope this offers some comfort.

cindy

Please let me add my voice to those who have been saying that it will take some time before we all feel better. I think we're all suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, and it hurts, and it's likely to keep hurting for a little while yet. I can tell you what was a bit helpful for me - I'm a registered nurse with a lot of experience in psychiatry. I live in Toronto. Today I learned that the Ontario Ministry of Health is compiling a list of medically-trained volunteers, although there has been no request from the US for help from Canada as yet. I phoned up and got my name on the list. Perhaps later down the road we will be needed. In any event, it made me feel a tiny bit less helpless. Do take care, everybody.

Diane

Here in Maryland, I made myself go out at lunch today on a mundane errand. Was listening to Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon talk about when they might feel like enjoying sports...how nothing really seems quite the same and will it ever? I looked up and saw an airplane taking off from BWI and realised it was the first one I've seen since Tuesday. It looked beautiful, and I was reassured about my trip to Chicago on Friday. I noticed a dog in the back of the car in front of me at a light. His tail was wagging wildly and you could feel how happy he was, in that dog-like happy way, and I appreciated seeing that and it made me smile. Then I looked in the rearview mirror and noticed a young couple in the car behind me...he reached over and touched her cheek and they smiled at each other and lightly kissed. I thought how good it was to see them. I am really taking notice of my all-American suburban surroundings and appreciate how lucky I am to be me, right now. I woke up from a nightmare last night, and remembered where I was, and heard my son downstairs and my husband coming to bed, and gave thanks that we are together and safe. My daughter went back to work in Manhattan today. She has the same blue sky and sunshine, but also those smoldering piles of debris where I once thrilled to take friends and family members up to see the city from the top of the world. I haven't heard from her yet today (we've spoken daily since Tuesday at noon) and I'm wondering how she is doing. She works in the financial trade and I suspect she's hearing about people she's met, or the friends and family of someone she works with. Generally she shares this tendency toward natural optimism, but being so close I think it will take her longer to reach this stage of growing confidence and resolve.

Robin

Does "Escritora" mean writer? I hope so, because it's certainly true-- that was very eloquent. <BR> <BR>I get very emotional when I see some of the beautiful gestures of support and/or patriotism (singing 'America the Beautiful' in church yesterday caused me to melt). What saves me from depression, especially at work, is the sense that I have a job to do to support my clients and my company. I'm not a firefighter or police officer-- in fact my work is incredibly insignificant in light of what has gone on. But I have the ability-- therefore the responsibility-- to provide perspective, to reassure people and to, in a tiny way, move things forward. <BR> <BR>There was a wonderful commentary on NPR the other day about how the terrorist relies on our complicity to complete his work. In responding to terror, the degree to which we change our lives, let business fail, decrease freedom, increase hatred-- all of these fulfill the ultimate goal of the terrorist. <BR> <BR>To avoid depression, it helps to have a sense of purpose. We all have in common the purpose of preventing the final success of the terrorist act.

Stay Strong

The best suggestion I can make for everyone, including myself, is to do the things you normally would do, act the way you normally would, even if you have to force yourself at first. You will feel better. Turn the TV and computer off for awhile. Go for a walk or a run. Go shopping. Read a light-hearted book. I played outside with my daughter all afternoon today. I was depressed but I made myself do it anyway and I feel better because of it. <BR> <BR>You won't help anybody by letting this cripple you emotionally. I know this is easier said than done for those of you who are truly depressed. You just have to make yourself do it. <BR>

nancy

DT and everyone else, <BR>Of course we are depressed! <BR>Everything as we knew it has changed and changed forever. <BR>This was an intentional act against the human race. <BR>One committed with the intentional purpose of killing many and leaving the rest of us in varying degrees of mental terror. <BR>One can never be sure of being "safe" again . <BR>At least not in the way we, as Americans, have always thought we were. <BR> <BR>I heard a mental health worker talking on NPR, and he mentioned that there will be hundreds of thousands of cases of PTSD occuring because of this horror. <BR>(post-traumatic stress disorder) <BR>and it can affect even those of us who did not lose anyone "personally", or who were miles from the crashes. <BR> <BR>Depression is a very difficult thing, and anyone who has ever been clinically depressed can attest to that !! <BR>It clouds the mind, it sucks the color out of one's vision. <BR>It is real, but it should pass. <BR> <BR>The best thing to do, is to recognize that things are really upsetting now, so try and be kind to one's self, <BR>Lessen expectations you put on yourself try to eat balanced diet, drink water, exercise , rest more if you can. <BR> <BR>And if you find that this does not pass, or lighten in a couple weeks, seriously consider talking to a healthcare professional. <BR>You may need some therapuetic or pharmacological assistance to break the cycle. <BR> <BR>This is a real trauma guys. <BR>Most of us have just been lucky enough to have never experienced something so monumental in our lives. <BR>But, we can and will recover. <BR>

Escritora

It does, Robin. Thanks. I've essentially been writing my way through this, and it helps me to think that perhaps some of my scribblings have been of some help to anyone else here. Thanks again.

Lauren

Of course we are all depressed. In an hour our whole world changed last week. We will take a long time to feel better, but we will never "get over" this. Just as those of us who lived through the Kennedy assassination almost 38 years ago carry the pain from with us still, the pain from September 11th will always be there. <BR> <BR>Personally, I will not plan any overseas trips until I can see better what the future holds. That does not mean I won't fly. I just won't go anywhere for the time being where I wouldn't be able to rent a car and drive back if the planes were grounded. <BR> <BR>Talking about what happened and connecting with others is the best thing to do. <BR> <BR>To those of you who are planning to travel in the near future: Do you think you can really get away from this by changing locations? The grieving is world wide. I would rather wait to travel until I felt I could enjoy myself. But, folks, that is my personal opinion.

Chris

When my grandmother (with whom I was very close) died, I remember looking at peoples' faces in the cars next to me as I drove to my mother's house. It seemed so amazing to me that these people were smiling, laughing, singing along with a song on the stereo. It was a revelation of sorts because I then realized that others had experienced the same sorrow I was experiencing and their lives did indeed go on. My world had bottomed out, but I realized that I would get through it, life (even though with a void) would continue and that I could be happy again. It would just take time. <BR> <BR>It also helped me to be around others who were not crying, who were not depressed, who were carrying on with their lives. <BR> <BR>The rest of the world is grieving too, but not with the same infinite depth as Americans. <BR> <BR>Those who can travel now may realize these things. For those who cannot, it will take more time. Each person is different and each person follows what they feel is best for them.