LoveItaly

bob_brown, the old umbrella in the ribs! I love it. When I was in my 20's and in SF I had more then one occassion when I did exactly that! It really works. There is nothing more lethal than an umbrella. Thanks for bring back a funny memory.

celticdreams

I was also thinking that the phrase "I'm engaged" could give the impression that if you weren't you might be interested... all that does is create a challenge!

ira

Hi abby,

In Italian, "Va via" (Go away)

In German, "Gay Veg" phonetic spelling for "Go away".

In both countries, best said loudly and with a look of contempt.

abbynicole27

Ok, thanks for the advice guys.
Bob_Brown - it does happen. I remember once when I was in Paris and walking from the metro up to Sacre Coeur in Montmartre, this guy just fell in beside me and started asking where I was from, if I was going up to Sacre Coeur. He wasn't being rude or creepy, but it was clear he was interested, and though I speak French pretty much fluently, I had no idea how to deal with it. I usually just completely ignore the creeps on the metro, etc. but according to my ingrained Canadian sense of politeness, he wasn't saying anything offensive, so I had trouble just saying "go away". I wouldn't look at him, barely ever answered him, and he followed me all the way to Sacre-Coeur, where I finally lost him in a crowd.
Now, I learned from that experience, and now I don't answer questions from strange men, even if they're non-creepy looking.
My body language was not inviting conversation, I was not looking at anyone, but he still tried talking to me anyways - so it does happen.
Anyways, I guess if saying "I'm engaged" will not help (as you all seem to be saying), then I will just go back to ignoring them.
Thank you,
-Abbynicole

ira

Hi abby,

>..I will just go back to ignoring them.

Good idea.

suze

I really think that's the best and most straight forward tactic (ignore).

As for the ring, if you wear it ALL the time and truly never take is off (even for sleeping, washing hands, etc.) it might be alright on your trip. As I'm guessing no one will steal it off your hand. But I'd be more worried about it getting misplaced or an accident of some kind (down the drain, falls behind a dresser and can't be found) like seems to happen more when we're "on the road" then it would at home.

Scarlett

LOL, this has been such a hoot to read
abbynicole, I have been wearing a wedding ring for many years now, and here in the US as well as in Europe-it does not make a bit of difference if a man wants to flirt. Ignoring them is the best advice, being rude back if they don't take the hint is good too.
I like the idea of the umbrella in the ribs..or an elbow if you have to.
I think men everywhere are the same in this respect, they are going to try- you just have to let them know they have No Chance

Intrepid1

I suggest you ENJOY all that "attention" you may be getting. Take it from me, it will NOT last forever and suddenly you'll wonder where it went (and perhaps how to get it back).

logos999

>In German, "Gay Veg" phonetic spelling for "Go away".

"Geh weg" sounds strange. He might not understand.

"Hau ab" (How up) means "go away"
"Verpiss dich" (furpiss dish) means pi.. off.

Mucky

Just tell them your a lesbian with HIV,Herpes syphylis and a gangrene leg.
If that doesn't work (there are some strange blokes out there) kick him in the balls.

Good Luck

Muck

P_M

Dear Abby,

I have done some traveling alone both on business and pleasure and I always wear my wedding ring. I am happy to have polite conversation with people I meet, both men and women. If a man seems to be getting other ideas, I let him know that I am married. A decent man will be deterred by that, but a very persistent man will be even more motivated by it. The way a bad guy sees it, if you are traveling without a man, then you are fair game. If you meet such a guy, you should just tell him no, and you don't have to say it nicely.

Fleetwood

Some men whatever nationality feel almost honour bound to make the effort to chat you up but don't let it spoil your holiday. I wouldn't be rude to anyone myself, just say you're engaged or whatever but sound like you mean it and avoid eye contact. Pretty sensible I think getting this kind of phrase in your head just in case, anyway I hope you and your friend have a wonderful time.

P_M

Please allow me to clarify what I said about not saying it nicely. I am referring to situations where he just isn't taking no for an answer, or doesn't care if you are already attached. I was in Santa Fe on business a few years ago and a guy approached me at a restaurant. I let on right away that I am married, but that only seemed to encourage him since DH wasn't there. At first I politely declined his offer but he didn't go away. He even commented that my husband should not allow me to travel alone. At that point I got a little nasty and told him that he's wasting his time and to please go away. That did it.

krix

I agree with previous posts about not engaging at all in conversation with would-be pursuers. I used to live and work in Italy and it didn't matter that I am married with a band on my finger or not. If you strike up a conversation which turns to him being interested (and they all more or less end up like this) I have found I simply must cut off the conversation entirely and go about my business.

I adore Italy, along with all my Italian friends, and have been told more than once by them that I am encouraging a male I'm speaking with, even when I think it's completely innocent. I don't have supermodel looks and still I receive more than my share of pick-up lines.

To generalize, and I don't like to do that, flirting men are not going to care if you're engaged, married, have a boyfriend back home, whatever. It's all about the pursuit. Just ignore anyone that you don't want to encourage.

Be firm. Be strong. You can get through this.

kismetchimera

I usually ignore the Casanova and keep walking with my head up and a very boring snobbish expression on my face..
If that does not works then I go to plan B..stop, talk but explain that you are late for an appointment, however, you would love to meet him somewhere later..
The Casanova is happy to meet you later, his ego is not bruised , and will leave you alone..of course,you will not go to the rendez vous unless he is Fabio or a gorgeous (FUSTO)Hunk.
It used to works for me all the time when I was a teenager growing up in Rome.

suze

I truly think not speaking at all, not a word (maybe wave your hand in a "no" gesture too) is the best way if someone has approached you, even if they seem like a nice guy or not creepy whatever.

As far as the example abbynicole gave about being followed across town, I suggest in this situation you get off the street by entering someplace (a cafe, shop, grocery store, hotel lobby). Doubtful the man would follow you, or wait for you to come out, like he felt free to do as you continued walking on the street.

rhapsody

ttt a humorous and useful thread!

logos999

Puts you out of the scope of people who want a serious answer to their questions. Too bad for you

Pvoyageuse

Thank the man for his attention and tell him with a big smile that you are not in the mood for company.

Most of the time they are so stunned by the answer that they leave and even apologize!

DAX

I think it's a pursuit game that everyone plays happily in Italy. I remember meeting some Italian girls who carried a collection of name cards that guys gave them with custom printed messages praising their beauty on the backside. The more beautiful the girl the more cards she got naturally.