Another thread touched on this issue, and rather than hijack it, I thought I'd throw this out for your suggestions. (nytraveler, your response on the other thread has already been added to my file!)

We are four couples. Guys friends since the old days. Women are later additions...second wives for all, in fact. Big birthday coming up. So, some of us will be in Paris for a few nights before heading to Burgundy for a week long barge cruise (bareboat). Then, a few of us will visit a friend with a home in Burgundy.

I know we will avoid a lot of the slow-in-the-morning issues by being on a boat. But I am wondering if you sage advisers have any further thoughts for us. I instigated this trip and feel somewhat responsible to get as much right as possible beforehand. Once the trip begins, my job will be to just let go when whatever hits the fan!

My suggestion is to take an organized tour once the boat phase of the tour is over.
That way, the tour company is the organizer and no one of the 8 of you is responsible for where to go and where to stay. It might be more expensive that way, but you might keep down the ill feelings.

Another suggestion is simply find a common hotel in a major city such as Paris, and agree to meet every morning for breakfast where each person states his or her objectives for the day. Those who want to form into spontaneous groups may do so.

Those who want to go off on their own have that option.

Plan, plan, plan and then plan some more. I organized a trip of 10 women who traveled to Italy in 2005. We met many times prior to the trip to anticipate as much as we could. We discussed money issues the most: How to handle paying the tab when we all went out to eat together, how to buy groceries (we established a "kitty&quot, etc. We formed loosely organized committees to deal with details such as transportation, site visits, etc.

It helped that we all knew each other very well. We traveled around as a group mostly, but formed smaller groups and went our ways individually at times, always gathering for dinner together. Assume there will be differences of opinion, try to figure out where they lie, and deal with as much as you can beforehand. When is your trip?

Having done this for many years we have a solution. We almost always have dinner together and if that is not possible then late night drinks during which time we discuss what suggestions we have for the next day.

Those of us who want to do something like a tour, shopping, etc meet at breakfast. If people sleep in or choose not to join in then that is fine. We have one couple who are notoriously late. After the third year we decided not to wait for them any more and that was fine with them.

Too much forced togetherness can be stressful, especially of one couple wants to sit in a lounge and drink and another wants to go to a museum. Respect each other's differences. We have found that we spend almost all of our time with one couple who has similar interests to us.

Hope this helps

Have everybody list five top things they want to do in Paris. Then plan your days around them.

You need to be upfront with each other whether you will spend each day joined at the hip or everyone is free to go their own way.

That includes breakfast, lunch, and dinner as well. Some people want to get up and out early and explore and others arrive later for a leisurely breakfast.

That can lead to a lot of tension 1st thing in the morning.

I personally dislike it when everyone gets together at 7pm and says J, where are we going for dinner? Definitely take turns being responsible for planning details like that.

You may want to have several cars avail for end part of the trip, so every couple has some freedom to explore on their own. Travelling with a loved one can be very romantic. Waiting for other couples or constantly being around them for several days or longer can spoil the moment in a hurry.

For the barge cruise part be sure to have at least 4 bicycles on board. Set up a schedule so that each day 1-2 couples stay on the boat to operate locks etc and the others can take off to see the countryside with an arranged meeting point for the next overnight stop. Have each couple contribute some amount to a "boat kitty" that is used to pay all boat expenses such as fuel, water, groceries, marina fees etc. Replenish it as needed. On shore everyone is on their own. If you don't have shore hookup to water be sure you have an understanding about how it is used. Anyone with "special" dietary needs should be on their own to deal with them, i.e., buying and cooking foods different from what the others would otherwise be eating.

A few years ago I planned a trip to London and the Cotswolds for thirteen friends (some couples, some singles). I was in a sort of different situation since I travel to the UK a lot and they all asked me to make the arrangements (whereas w/ a group of 4 couples you would probably share some of the planning)

But a few of the things to consider to help make it work:

Don't EVEN try to do everything together.

A big issue when there are a lot of fixed plans is that everyone will be on different "body clocks". Some are early risers, some can't face the world w/o full make up and 2 cups of coffee. Some eat fast some dawdle. So just don't try to regiment too much/over plan.

Money - decide ahead of time how you want to treat group meals. Separate checks isn't always an option. So decide if meals will just be divided equally, or calculated per couple.

If you rent cars for part of the trip:

Driving - decide ahead of time who the drivers/navigators will be. Or at least who is willing to do it. And -- not everyone knows how to read a map!

It is easier to rent 2 or 3 smaller cars than one massive one. Not only will it be cheaper, the spare vehicles allow folks to break up in to 2's, 3's, 4's when some want to do one thing and others want to to do something else, or just veg out.

We did it for 12, using two boats. It worked well because we all had different plans before and after the barge cruise, so we did not feel as though we were taking a trip that forced us to be together all the time.

Hi Amy,

Have the 8 of you ever been together for a week?

If not, I suggest that you do so before getting on a boat.

Boating is all about being in each other's pockets 24/7.

Go your own way by day and arrange to meet up for dinner by night.

Traveling can be a sure way to break friends. Crikey 2 people can have problems, 8 is a disaster waiting to happen. By the time you have reached a conclusion on what to do 7 people are pi$$ed off.

Good luck

Muck

It depends on the couples and how flexible/good at compromise/sociable you all are. I've travelled with large groups of friends a few times and it has all worked out well.

I can just see a few arguments about who gets to drive the barge though! Make sure everyone who wants to gets a fair turn and it isn't taken over by a self-appointed 'captain' as I reckon that's the most likely trigger for conflict you'll have.

All of the suggestions to split up each morning sound like the answer to "How can four couples travel together happily" must be "by not traveling together."

It's much easier to do with one city and it can be a lot of fun if everyone is flexible. My husband and I have done this with a smaller group and it worked out well. On the days when I wanted to do something he wasn't that interested in, I found another friend to go with me.
We've also done it on a 3 city vacation and it was fun. Since it was my idea, I got everyone together for planning before the trip. Then I made a rough itinerary and sent it to everyone long before the trip in case there were changes. Once I made the final it was done and everyone was happy.
The one thing I didn't foresee was that one friend invited a friend who lived in one of the cities to join us in the next city. She has a more the merrier attitude. This worked out okay but there was a little grumbling since the hotel rooms were booked as doubles.

If something like this would be a problem for anyone; it needs to be discussed.
Meet for a meal every couple of days or see each other in or near the hotel at breakfast.
Communication is the key.

The ladies have to be sure they are all compatible. We have to bond in order to have a good time traveling with other women. If they ain't bonded there will be Trouble brewing.

I, too, suggest a trial run of a week locked up in a small place and see what happens.

You all are great! We will be barging the first week of October. We have all spent time together in close quarters, though not all at once. All of the men and two of the women chartered in the USVI twenty years ago. Two of the women are new, me being one of them. We all really like each other a lot.

Three couples will be staying in Paris at the same hotel for 2-4 nights. Those staying for four nights live well together and often at one another's houses. I think we'll be okay in Paris because it will all be fresh and exciting.

The most recent worry I've had is over food while barging. We have different eating styles, budgets and dietary constraints. It seems impractical for each couple to buy their own food as I assume the marine fridge will be small. Not everyone likes to shop and/or cook. So, maybe a kitty for basics and then a la carte for whatever is not covered by the basics (whatever the heck we decide those are!)

Two of us love to cook. But there is some talk of trading out the cooking duties amongst us. Idea is, we divide into "teams" and one team is responsible for provisioning and preparing a meal once or twice. But, I worry that for those who do not enjoy these tasks, it will be torture.

I am very interested in eating well when I plunk down my euros ata restaurant. I do the research and love the anticipation. Not willing to leave it to chance and just wander in any open door as others might be. Not sure how the barging day will play out in terms of mealtimes. (Like, can we puh-leeze tie up for lunch at Lameloise?) J62, I'd be very happy to pick all the restaurants! But then I'd worry that I was not meeting everyone's needs... (sigh)

After the barging, we will be taken under wing by friends who own a house, either lodging with them or close by. We will let them be the "organized tour." We'll have to behave!

We have chosen a captain since it is required by the rental company, as well as common sense. We are long-time boaters and well know the necessity of having one person in charge.

The idea of having half the crew off and about for a day on four bikes is very interesting. I will certainly rent a bike for myself, regardless if anyone else is interested in biking. Some of us are not too agile anymore, but maybe we should discuss getting a few bikes so that the option is there.

Michael, I would love to hear more about your barging experience. Any trip reports?

Thanks everyone!

When I was apart of four couples renting a villa in Tuscany, food was the problem too. Some wanted to spend time at a leisurely slow excellent lunch, others wanted to grab a slice of pizza on the go. There were two martyrs who would sit and order dessert and watch us eat.

It did cause hard feelings also because there were different budgets involved.

I would seriously think about that part and come to some mutual conclusion which everyone must get involved in making BEFORE the trip.

Good luck, it should make an interesting trip report, did you read Barb's report of traveling with friends last year?

Amy,

Sounds like you are going to have a lot of fun on your trip. One thing you might think about is the availability of restaurants on the section of waterway you will be cruising. Our last canal trip was in September on the upper Saone, and we found most of the restaurants close to teh river to be closed.

I had told the other couple on our trip that I came to France mostly to enjoy the food, and had no intention of cooking large evening meals aboard. Breakfast of pasteries and baggette fresh from the local bakery, lunch of baggette and the wonders from a French deli, but out to dinner in the evening.

Since the restaurants I had picked were mostly closed, we had a couple of hungry nights aboard, due to my lack of planning. Some hackles were raised as we shared the last crust of bread and split the pate four ways.

If you are planning on eating out, you may be disapointed in October, so plan on having enough emergency rations (wine, particularly) on board to prevent mutiny.

Have a wonderful trip!

There will be nine of you on the barge?

How many heads? One will break down within the first 2 days so I would recommend at least 3. The WC situation will be an issue.

And discuss room division and storage.

We have chartered sailboats (3 couples) in Turkey, Greece, Belize, Pacific NW. 2 week trips. I can tell you all that togetherness is wearing. But we had great times!

If you are planning this trip as a chance for 16 friends to get together, and oh-by-the-way let's do the get-together as a barge trip in France, it will be a success.

If you are planning this trip as a trip to France, and oh-by-the-way wouldn't it be 16 times the fun if we do it with our friends....the odds of disappointment start to get uncomfortably high. I'm in agreement with those who say that if each couple has their own plans before and/or after the barge trip, this will reduce a lot of the pressure on the barge trip to be anything more than a take-what-comes arrangement.