We are planing a trip to Italy for 2009. Rome, Florence and Venice. probably 10-12 days. There will be 4 of us (cousins ages 37-39 at that time). None of us speak Italian. 2 of us have been to Europe before, 2 have not.
We have not traveled together before and I don't want to get to Rome and realized we really do have very different ideas of what is an acceptable hotel room and what is not, what is worth waiting an hour to see and what is not etc.
I'm worried I will feel solely responsable if any of my suggestions don't work out for the group including train travel and lugging our luggage all over by doing the independetn travel route.
Would it be easier to do a tour? With all trasfers included. I'd like to think I am more adventurous than that but I guess I am starting to chicken out.
Any advice and encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

Often, tour companies will place you in hotels outside the city (like in the suburbs of Rome - then it's up to you to take a bus into the city).

If I were you, I would book hotels based on recommendations on this board and/or guidebook recommendations. Get Karen Brown's Italy -- her recommendations are usually very good. Find centrally located hotels, so you can walk to the main attractions.

If the group wants to stick you with doing all the planning and making the arrangements, then they will just have to agree to go along with what you pick without complaining.

Also, odds are some of you will have differing interests--so split up and let everyone see whatever they want to see when they want to see it. You don't have to march in lockstep to the same places, at the same time, every day. Just agree to meet later at certain place (bar, cafe, plaza, etc.) at a certain time.

why would you wait till you got somewhere to find out the preferences in things like a hotel room? Why not sit down with them right now and discuss it? Don't put the pressure on yourself to make decisions, it should be a group discussion and you can do the admin work of making whatever reservations are required etc. You should also make it clear that having time for yourself is always acceptable and encouraged. It usually makes for a pleasant reunion at the end of the day.

I agree that the hotels used by tour companies are often not well located and can be charmless. It is not a way I would like to travel but I like to make my own decisions.

Hotel choices are really going to be controlled more by budget, IMO, than anything else. So, it might not be as large an issue as you think.

I am arranging a visit to the same three cities for 4 couples and we leave in 8 weeks. I have been before so have experience in the three cities and found that budget as well as some specific requirements (elevator, front desk, etc) really narrowed the options.

If I were going with just my husband I would have made different decisions but the hotels are fine and meet everyones needs. With your group of 4 it should be really easy. Figure out what style you prefer (B&B, apartment) and then go from there.

Make the big decisions together such as how you will all pay, what you will do if someone cancels. Have plenty of free time built in so there is time for all to focus on their personal stuff.

Good luck!

Hi PP,

You might be the planner, but you shouldn't be responsible for what is "acceptable".

You all have to get together and agree on hotels, itinerary, costs, etc.

R/F/V is about the easiest itinerary you could want to plan. I wouldn't want a tour.

Thanks for your replies.
I have sat down with them and we are in the process of narrowing things down.
In my previous visits to Portugal and Sicily I have stayed with family and in Ireland and London last year I stayed in 2 hostels and an apartment. So as long as the place is safe, easy to find and clean it works for me. We have set about $200 american per night for lodging, hoping all will be happy.
susan001, I didn't know that about tour hotels, thanks for the heads up.

I was on a tour a few years ago. All the hotels were in great central locations, and very nice. It was my first trip abroad and I was afraid to plan. Advantages: everything is taken care of. Disadvatages: other people on the trip seemed like they didn't want to experience the travel (people, customs, etc), I think they just wanted to brag about their trip when they got home. Also, sometimes we had to get up extremely early to get to the next place. I don't think I would do a tour again.

Hi Powerpuff,

I agree that the "big 3" is a super easy itinerary to plan. No reason to do a tour. As long as you do sit down and talk about everyone's specific requirements/likes/dislikes for lodging and how you will pay for same, you'll be fine.

It will be easy for you to stay in the same hotel, but all do whatever you like in each city. Walking in all 3 is super easy. Just have good maps for everyone, cell phones would be very helpful. Just do your research as to opening/closed days and hours for sites, any advance res needed for major sites, and tours the group would like to do as a group - and away you go!

Buon viaggio!

hi pp,

why not sugggest that each of you takes responsibility for one part of tour -

as there are 4 of you, if you do V/F/R, one for each city plus the 4th to do transport.

I would definitely look at an apartment in one place, probably Rome.

with 4 of you, you could think about booking guides eg in rome for the Forum [context is well thought of]; it gives some focus to the trip.
in Rome, you should pre-book the galeria borghese and the scavi tour, in Florence the uffizi and accademia, in venice, st. Marco and the secret tour of the doge's palace.

there are plenty of recommendations on this forum and on www.slowtravel.com for decent hotels and apartments.

Rick STeves books are also full of ideas for what to do in 1,3,5, days.

for 2009, you have plenty of time to plan - no need to panic!

good luck,

regards, ann

You know, if there are significant differences in budget and taste, you could even stay in different hotels. If everybody's responsible for their own hotel reservations, they can't complain to you.

But, if you are going to take on responsibility for planning, make sure the parameters are clear and everybody agrees to accept your decisions.

When I've rented a villa with other people, it required many planning meetings, all held at Italian restaurants (research).

Almost everybody on Fodor's is an independent traveler and we love to plan. But if you think this might affect your famiy relationships in the future, maybe a tour would be a better bet.

By the way, look into flying into Venice and out of Rome. You don't have many days and this will eliminate backtracking time and money.

When we go with others my wife and I usually do the "work" of planning. We really enjoy the planning stage. We generally bring our top choices (places to stay) printed out and have a discussion about them over dinner.
This way they feel like they are part of the solution.