Was there anything you did on your trip to Europe that you look at upon as a funny blunder? Perhaps not looking the "right" way when crossing the street, or asking for the wrong menu item due to translation problems?

What were some funny blunders you made that you can still laugh about today?

For me, I will say that not looking in the right direction caused a few locals to yell at me and helped me to avoid being hit by a bus. Serious and dangerous, yes. But still funny!

Hi
I've had a couple of blunders that come to mind. The first one was years ago. Got lost leaving the Netherlands and even with a map we had difficulty, when we finally found our bearings we were on the course of a grand prix race that fortunatly was not yet running in Belguim. It was fun to see the grandstands etc. Got lost another time in Slovakia, back when the road numbers were being changed after the commie gov't. fell. We drove past a very heavily armed intersection, where we saw tractor trailers with what looked like dirt, covered going by. We went past this intersection several being looked at after the 2nd time. Realized that even though the map was current, the govt. added another diget to the road number changing it. Learned the importance of current maps.

My wife left a small bottle of lotion sitting on top of the toilet in our Venice apartment. Of course, as soon as I flushed the toilet, the lotion fell right into it and was small enough to block the pipe but not small enough to get flushed all the way down...

Of course this was 6:00pm on a Friday night and I'm trying to figure out just how much a night call from a Venitian plumber would be and what year would I be able to pay off the bill...

Long story short, we bought the Italian version of Playtex Living Gloves and my wife's hands were small enough to pull the bottle out.

Well, at the time I died of embarrassment but now I guess it's hilarious--my first trip to Paris, I arrived and my hotel room wasn't ready. So I just walked around the neighborhood to kill time until it was. I hadn't slept much and was totally out of it. I went into a shop and tried on some clothes. But what I failed to notice was that when I was getting dressed again, the back of my skirt got tucked into my tights. Thankfully, I had a long sweater on that covered my butt, and at first I had put on a light coat.

Well, there I was walking down the street, I got warm and took off my jacket. No idea my skirt was tucked in my tights. (Thank GOODNESS for that long sweater) A car passing by actually STOPPED and this woman started telling me something. My French is ok but she was talking very fast. I caught 'jupe' (skirt). OMIGOD! MY SKIRT TUCKED IS IN MY TIGHTS!!! I AM WALKING THROUGH PARIS LIKE THIS!

I died, and then discreetly untucked my skirt. Merci, merci to that nice lady who stopped me from looking stupid beyond a block or so.

You don't get much more gauche than that.

cadillac, I'm really sorry that it will perhaps make things worse for you, but I have to tell you that
1. 6 p.m. is a regular working time for Italian craftsmen, and it's no problem to get them working till 9 p.m., either;
2. they're working on Saturdays, as well, at least before noon, and
3. they are actually cheap, even in Venice.
Sorry!

...maybe I should have written (just to make things really clear) that they're working till 9 p.m. and on Saturday mornings WITHOUT any extra charges...

Assuming you're American - don't you drive on the same side of the road as most of Europe, i.e. except the UK ?

Asking what time masses were held at St. Patrick's Cathedral in Dublin.

Oh, and asking where the Bastille was (the actual building, you know, off with their heads and all that) in Paris.

...other than misnaming buildings...

Getting a handful of metal change back from a 20E bill... I momentarily forgot that there are 1Euro coins, 2 Euro coins...
At first, all my pea-brain registered was I was being ripped-off.

Shopping for perfume at Hermes in Paris. Halfway through the word, I lost my nerve and pronounced the last syllable in American manner. "Par - fume." Instant French language sneer. Besides, I was wearing non-pointy walking shoes.

I have a million, particularly from my exchange year in Spain when I spent the first 2 months walking around like a comedy variety show participant.

Let's see, though. . . by country:

Paris, France- I had an interview at Christie's Paris and wanted to be sure I was on time so the night before I told my cousin (who lives on Rivoli) that I was going to do a test run and would meet her at a restaurant at 8. I left and caught the metro, got off and started huffing it up a hill that, according to the map, would take up all the way up to Christie's. I kept going and still, no Christie's. So, I started asking around and showing the address. After 3 people, a woman finally said (in French) you are standing right in front of it. I turned around and sure enough, there was a tres petit sign that said "Christie's Paris."

Alicante, Spain: I spoke almost no Spanish when I arrived, so going downtown (Alicante) was a challenge. The first time I went alone, this old homeless woman came up to me with her hand cupped in the "gimme gesture" and was saying "una limosna, por favor" (an offering, please). Well, we were outside of a cafe and inside on the counter they had one of those huge lemon slushie machines (limon granizado. . . a constant in Alicante bars though at the time I did now know that). I thought that "limosna" meant "something with lemon" so I kept pointing into the bar and saying "alli" (there). Finally, i went inside and told the bartender "ella quiere limosna" (she wants an offering. . . thinking I was saying "she wants lemonade&quot and he said "well, then, give her one." I was so confused that I just left out the other door and headed home. My Spanish didn't get good enough for me to realize my mistake for a few months, then I retroactively felt like a dork.

Oslo, Norway- had to change clothes at the train station and had no kroner left for the bathroom so I slipped in after a girl left. I got locked in and as it was late, no one was there to let me out for quite a while. I made my train with 2 minutes to spare and the guard was yelling at me all the way to the platform.

London, England- on my last night I got terribly sick (stomach flu and high fever) but the next day I still got my suitcase and took the subway to the airport for my flight back to Madrid. I could not stand up straight, but when i got to the ticket counter, I straightened up and acted like things were just peachy. He took one look and asked if i was OK to fly and I said "Oh yes. Hahaha. Don't be silly!" While he was doing the seat assignment, I got nauseous and said "excuse me" and walked over to the trash can and vomited. Then i went back and said "Sorry," and leaned in. "You see, I'm pregnant." It was a good save, but he told all the flight attendants and as I was young (18) they all felt the need to tell me their mommy stories during the flight. Have you ever tried to keep up a ridiculous lie while on a plane with the stomach flu?

Several: I thought I was ordering roasted veal when in fact a plate of little calf kidneys came out.
I also introduced my three daughters as my three wives, and I was attempting to tell a waiter that everyone at my table liked (soccer) football. My daughter, who understands some French but was intimidated to say much, blurts out:
"Dad, you just said, 'I love you, you good football, you!" With that, the three daughters and the waiter laughed until their eyes started to water. (Is there a laugh in the human experience more pure and sincere than a duaghter laughing at her dad when he embarrasses himself?) Lastly, we were in a small suburban train station and all four ladies needed a potty break. My wife claimed that there appeared to be a malfunction in the coin operated W. C. which might allow for everyone to use the WC without any expenditure of cash, but that this would require a system of alternating lookouts and doorguards. At one point, daughter #2 was using the facility while #3 was guarding, when the door suddenly latched, the lights went out and water started to spray everywhere in the WC! #2 screamed holy terror from within, and the rest of us screamed from without to #3 "put the money in! put the money in!" she finally did and #2 was released from her aquatic torture chamber, composure completely shaken! Now she had to, to coin the expression, "get back in the saddle" as she still had "unfinished business."
We reasurred her we had plenty of coins at the ready to rescue her if the incidient occurred again, which happily, it did not. All told, 4 potty breaks for 0.50e.

Docdan -- so much good stuff in there, but I have to tell you I am in tears giggling about "I love you, you good football, you!" I'm at work and trying to avoid explaining what is so funny.

That story reminds me of several in David Sedaris' book Me Talk Pretty One Day. Since Easter is approaching, I'll have to take out my copy and re-read the one about his French class's discussion of it.

Language blunder that earned a scolding: train from Boulogne to Paris, young man working his way down aisle selling snacks. I addressed him, to get his attention, as "garcon." Apparently they don't like that, despite phrase book.

Yes, I am amazed by the number of books that still says that, "Garcon" is an appropriate address. Along the same lines, we learned that one does not say, "un moment" but rather say, "un instant" when you need a bit more time to look at a menu. The former confers a sense that "You are bothering me." That one really took me by surprize.

stokebailey-
Garçon means boy, and not many people want to be called that. Try monsieur.

Laclaire-
Terrible fever with stomach flu...today they are certainly trying to prevent contagious sicknesses from being cross pollinated on airplanes...I am surprised they fell for your pregnancy rap, and people, is it not possible to avoid contaminating everyone on the plan with your horrible flus? Yes, yes, I understand the issue of getting back to work, etc...however, with bird flu and such, be prepared soon to submit to temperature checks, as I have read that this may happen if bird flu gets difficult to control...glad I did not fly next to you on the airplane, but let me thank you for spreading your terrible flu...

docdan, funny stories, but ironical, you ladies got what you deserved with the spraying/cleaning function of the toilet...I hope that cheating on a couple of coins was worth it...sheesh!

I was in Provence and got out of the car to stretch my legs, not realizing my husband parked beside an irrigation ditch that high grass concealed. Well, I fell in, ruining my armani jacket and linen pants. Soaking wet, I crossed the road to dry off in the sun in front of a beautiful gate. I hear a loud noise to see the gardner inside the gate approach. Seeing me all wet he laughed and waved a goodbye and drove off.
The foul smell in the clothes didn't wash out so I discarded my Filene's basement bargains.

A few years ago my husband, daughter and I were in Firenze dining in a cafe. My daughter was having a slice of pizza and needed a napkin. So, I looked in my language book (maybe Berlitz) and went in to the cafe with my daughter to ask the woman for a napkin (using the word- assorbenti)...she looked at me like I was crazy, I asked again...finally she pointed downwward and smiled and I immediatly realized I was asking for the wrong kind of napkin. Oh my, I waa embarrassed but we all laughted and now it is a joke that lives on.