French nationality

Old May 24th, 2012, 01:58 PM
  #161  
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Okay, now I have to add CopperandJade to the list of people trying to inspire me with hope. It's working.

"‘would I rather be unhappy, lonely and miserable in France, or, would I rather be unhappy, lonely and miserable in the US?"

LOL! I believe that this question answers itself.

"Someone above suggested you visit specific ‘expat’ forums. Good idea. Essentially, visit and post your question on any relevant forum."

Ahead of you there. I've already signed up with CouchSurfers (which I found as a link in an article about moving to Paris on a low budget), and I'm going to sign up at ExpatForum, just haven't had a chance yet.
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Old May 24th, 2012, 02:01 PM
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"(the bank owns it, but it pay it every month not to take it away (joke))."

Oh believe me I've been there.
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Old May 24th, 2012, 02:02 PM
  #163  
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"In addition to the housecarers.com website I listed above, here are other house-sitting websites."

Awesome. Thank you, FrenchMystique.
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Old May 24th, 2012, 02:05 PM
  #164  
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"Please don't take this the wrong way, but a month long visit to Paris (or anywhere foreign) is not likely to give you any serious example of what life is like there."

I don't take that the wrong way. It's not what you say, it's the way you say it. And you said it fine.

And yeah, I would definitely prefer to spend three months in Paris than one.
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Old May 24th, 2012, 02:08 PM
  #165  
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"I would suggest you spend ONE year in France, if you can get a VISA."

Right, I'd love to, but a lot of people here have given me very low odds of getting a long-term visa approved, with my income and no health insurance. If that's reality, then that's reality, but if it is reality, then what's the point of trying to get a long-term visa?
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Old May 24th, 2012, 02:15 PM
  #166  
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"Could you use your daughter's home as a return brief stopping point IF you want to return at the end of the year."

Unlikely. My daughter is 22 and living in her first apartment with two friends from college.
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Old May 24th, 2012, 02:20 PM
  #167  
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"You will also know that you have an end and if all goes pear shaped, you will be able to return home."

If all goes pear-shaped? Context tells me that this means if things go badly, but why is badly pear-shaped?
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Old May 24th, 2012, 04:44 PM
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Ok. Once again, I have not read all of the replies in laborious detail. But, my overwhelming feeling is that you, KITKAT, need to think. Thinking will mean just that, and not selecting out what you want to hear.


Examples:

KEROUAC: (you like his replies) He moved to France at the age of 20, with one French parent who registered him at the embassy. Thus, automatic citizenship and all of its’ eventual rewards. In addition to these automatic rewards… what one was does at the age of 20 is very different from what one does at 60. At that age, the world is before you, ‘que sera, sera’. You are not 20.


FRENCHMYSTIQUE: (you like his replies) He moved there far later in life, 40-50? and married a French citizen. Thus, many benefits were again, automatic…many, many roads were well paved in advance. Benefits that will be denied to you, benefits that will probably never be part of your reality. Your situation would be totally different.


YES, I appreciate the input of Kerouac and FMT, very much. Fabulous advice on many issues. But, you need to be realistic, for your own eventual well-being. Which leads me to….


ST. CIRQ: (you do NOT seem to like her replies) I do think that you should at Mimimum, listen to what she is saying. Throughout my history of reading this forum, her posts have been true, good and extremely helpful. In your situation, your OP , the difference is that what she is saying is FAR, FAR closer to your present reality than Kerouc’s or FrenchMystique’s.
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Old May 24th, 2012, 05:14 PM
  #169  
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"I have not read all of the replies in laborious detail. But, my overwhelming feeling is that you, KITKAT, need to think. Thinking will mean just that, and not selecting out what you want to hear."

CopperandJade,

I am unclear about your point in this comment, what you're trying to tell me.

I can't reply to anything you've said because I don't know what I'm replying to.

However, I am going to assume you mean well, and just leave it at that.
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Old May 24th, 2012, 06:03 PM
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To attempt to clarify:

Well, KitKat, I do mean well and my point is as stated above. To repeat,

’ my overwhelming feeling is that you, KITKAT, need to think. Thinking will mean just that, and not selecting out what you want to hear.’

I am concerned that you are simply not thinking about the information in this thread. Because you would love to live in France, (I certainly am sympatico with this), you seem to be resistant to some good and pragmatic advice.

To Repeat and be more specific:

You seem to be very influenced by Kerouac and FrenchMystique, but offended and resistant to St. Cirq.

Kerouac: is a French citizen by birth. You will never have his advantages.

FrenchMystique: is a French citizen by marriage. You will never have his advantages.

St. Cirq: is neither, but has become at part of French society in one sense. Her situation and her thoughts are most pragmatic and helpful for you. She has owned property and has lived here.

Therefore, with what you want to do…go and live in France at the age of 60, you are much closer to the thoughts of St. Cirq., than Kerouac or FMT. Given that you do NOT have a French parent (Kerouac) and you are NOT married to a French citizen(FMT), Indeed, their situations have many benefits. You will NEVER enjoy these benefits, unless you marry a French citizen. So, while I appreciate their comments of goodwill…it will never apply to you.

I think it’s a good idea to listen to other thoughts. More realistic, in your situation. St. Cirq’s comments and reality are closer to your own. As are many other thoughts in this thread. I don’t understand why you are at all upset by her remarks. I wish you well, but think that you should remain open .
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Old May 24th, 2012, 07:48 PM
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Hi, basingstoke. I'm mystified by your question about the skids. Yes, I've been paying property taxes (they are really minimal in the Périgord for 19 years), but I don't understand your question - is it that I have some advantage by virtue of having paid property taxes for something or other? If so the answer is no, none.
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Old May 24th, 2012, 08:05 PM
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And thank you, Copperand Jade. The OP is incensed because I present a realistic view of what's in store for her. I wasn't obnoxious in my replies, just realistic. And frankly, if she took umbrage at my remarks, I wonder how she'll deal with the average daily barrage from the local boulangerie in Paris. You have to have a thick skin to survive Paris, you know.
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Old May 24th, 2012, 08:42 PM
  #173  
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"I am concerned that you are simply not thinking about the information in this thread. Because you would love to live in France, (I certainly am sympatico with this), you seem to be resistant to some good and pragmatic advice."

It's not that I was unable to read what you wrote, CopperandJade, the problem is that I have no idea where you get this notion from.

To Repeat and be more specific:

You seem to be very influenced by Kerouac and FrenchMystique, but offended and resistant to St. Cirq.

Kerouac: is a French citizen by birth. You will never have his advantages.

FrenchMystique: is a French citizen by marriage. You will never have his advantages.

St. Cirq: is neither, but has become at part of French society in one sense. Her situation and her thoughts are most pragmatic and helpful for you. She has owned property and has lived here."

CopperandJade, I do appreciate your giving me this information about the details of the circumstances of some of the people who have replied to me. You probably know their circumstances much better than I do, as you have been here longer. I appreciate that you are trying to let me know which people here are giving me helpful advice, and which aren't. And I understand your point, that St. Cirq's experience and circumstances make her the best person to advise me.

I think that's what you're saying. You're trying to tell me who I should listen to and who I shouldn't. And I understand that you think I've decided to follow people's advice based on whether I like them or not. I understand that you believe when I thank someone for trying to help me, it means I've decided to take their advice over someone else's.

My response is that your interpretation of my behavior is mistaken. I find it inexplicable that you are saying these things, because I have no clue how your interpretation connects to what I've said and what others here have said.

But if this is how you see it, I realize you're trying to help me, and I thank you for that.
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Old May 24th, 2012, 08:44 PM
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"You have to have a thick skin to survive Paris, you know."

This actually might explain your communication style, StCirq.
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Old May 24th, 2012, 08:55 PM
  #175  
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"St. Cirq: is neither, but has become at part of French society in one sense. Her situation and her thoughts are most pragmatic and helpful for you."

This is valuable information, CopperandJade. If you tell me StCirq's situation and thoughts are most pragmatic and helpful for me, then I have an obligation to take that seriously. I don't know how long you've been here, but certainly longer than I have, and I think you're probably right that you know much better than I do which people's advice is helpful and pragmatic for me, and which isn't.

I'm just wondering: Can you take a look at all the other people here who have given me advice and suggestions (because there are a lot you didn't mention), and tell me which ones I should listen to and which I shouldn't? Because that could save me a lot of time.

Thanks, CandJ. I appreciate it.
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Old May 24th, 2012, 09:07 PM
  #176  
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"FrenchMystique: is a French citizen by marriage. You will never have his advantages."

That might not be true, because as FrenchMystique told me, I could always marry Kerouac. Of course, FM might not be a person worth listening to; he's one of the people you didn't mention. So you'll have to let me know, after you complete your evaluation of the remaining participants' advice to me. ;-)
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Old May 24th, 2012, 09:08 PM
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Ooops, sorry, you did mention him -- obviously! So I guess that means I'm not marrying Kerouac. FeminineMystique's advice is no good for me.

It's saving me a lot of work to have you around, CandJ!
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Old May 24th, 2012, 09:25 PM
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katkat:

No, I’m not telling you who to listen to.

No, I’m not giving ‘top secret’ info on various posters. All that I said was well known.

I was only trying to suggest that you consider listening to people who might be closer to your own situation, and have had experience, rather than those who come from more advantageous situations…which is certainly not yours. ‘ Advantageous’ meaning they are French citizens or married to French citizens.

Anyway, ( now leaving any further discussion, life is short!), I think I understand that you spent 3 weeks in France in 1978 and now you want to move there for the rest of your life.
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Old May 24th, 2012, 09:47 PM
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I feel compelled to add my experiences here, though I’m not sure that katkat will listen. I, too, think your plan is unrealistic and very ill-advised at this time.

I was burning with the desire to live in Europe (my preferences were Switzerland or Germany), and I was certain that the joy and buzz and beauty of living there would far out-weigh any problems of daily life. I burned with this desire for 40 years, starting in 1968 when my family moved to Florida, until 2008 when I finally made it happen; in the meantime I did manage to live in Paris for one year and in Germany for three years with the military.

When it came time to make the move, I had a LOT more resources than you seem to have. I had my military health coverage that works worldwide, and I had my pension, which gives me a basic standard of living.

Before I moved, I spent one month living in Germany and two months living in Switzerland, just as a pre-taste to see what it might be really like to live there.

And then I moved. I can tell you that it was hell, utter hell. I was wholly unprepared for the different way of life – it is far different trying to get things fixed in your apartment on a Bavarian work schedule than it is just trying to get a hotel reservation or directions to a restaurant!! I had ear-bleeds for about the first two months because the stress was so high. I quit, actually quit, a few times every week. I wrote a friend and posed the question if I might live in her basement in New York while I recovered from the financial disaster of the move. (She elegantly and politely refused, thank God.)

I did trudge on through the problems and the bureaucracy. I love my life now and love all the benefits of living in Bavaria. But I have to say. I would kill for some actual closet space and a utility room. I still day-dream about moving back to the US and into a spacious townhouse.

I would say that you are simply not prepared financially or ready (language, customs, habits) to make the move and to survive it. I really think you should slow down and make some interim plan – find a vacation home in Paris that you can afford and live there for two months. See how that fits. Then plan from there. Extend it. Do that twice a year. Make contacts and friends in Paris. Move slowly.

Anyway. Good luck to you!

s
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Old May 24th, 2012, 10:04 PM
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Let me give you some basic information on how I made my move.

I sold my condo (which you don’t have to do). I put all my things in storage. In fact, I had the moving company put all my things into shipping crates, so that all they had to do was put the crates on a boat. The storage cost me about $100/month, so you need to add that into your expenses.

I rented an apartment, much cheaper than I could afford. Then I did the paperwork and bureaucracy to get approval to live in Germany. I’m not sure how the process works in France, but you need to know how it works before you begin, obviously.

Then I went to Ikea and bought a bed and a closet and a set of drawers. I went to a local electronics store and bought the cheapest tv and washer and drier in the store. I got a free couch from a new friend I had made, and I used large cardboard boxes as dining table/desk. I bought the cheapest set of sheets, towels, dishes and glasses I could find – Ikea is a great source for this stuff, as are the classified ads once you can manage in French. In my mind, this was all throw-away stuff that I could afford to lose if I decided to abandon my plan.

I had my friends mail me four big boxes of clothes – which I eventually had to retrieve from the customs office.

It was only after that first year that I decided to make the move permanent. I suggest you find a way to do something like this, some way that you can minimize the risk.


s
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