Does your partner share your passion?

Apr 8th, 2004, 04:56 AM
  #1  
Ivy
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Does your partner share your passion?

Mine loves the travel once we are there but gets really tired of my constant talking about it ahead of time, the planning, the daydreaming etc. . . I am constantly thinking about where to go, what to see, etc. . . I am sort of obsessed! But he doesn't share the obsession so he gets sick of hearing about it! Does your partner share your passion?
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Apr 8th, 2004, 05:04 AM
  #2  
 
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While my husband was living, he frequently reminded me of how lucky I was that he shared my joy of traveling (which we did a lot of in the last years) and do not regret any trip, ever. And I am a great pre-planner, can never leave things to luck so just go ahead (quietly, ha ha) and do your planning. I could never just let things come about. Now I am down to paying single suppliment on tours, however that works out quite well also. Have great trips. Halfpint.
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Apr 8th, 2004, 05:12 AM
  #3  
 
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Yes - sorta!

I, like Halfpint, had a husband who
loved the travel...as long as it
contained layers of culture.

While I am not obsessed, half of my
enjoyment is the pre-planning.
I was in charge of all the logistics &
he of cultural interests.

Twas a great relationship and if
I goofed (had to spend a few extra
days in Cyprus due to a miscalculation on my part) there was more we could see & do. Wish
I had made more errors!
Rhea is offline  
Apr 8th, 2004, 05:40 AM
  #4  
Ivy
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Ladies your posts have put it in perspecive for me: I am lucky to still have my hubby with me and be able to travel with him and share the joy of discovering new adventures. Thanks for the reality check. It sounds like your hubby's were delightful travel companions as well.
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Apr 8th, 2004, 05:48 AM
  #5  
 
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Unfortunately - no. My husband has no real interest in Europe. His idea of a vacation is beach, diving and the pool. Which is fine, as I'm lucky my work allows me to get to Europe several times per year. Perhaps in my next life...
celticdreams is offline  
Apr 8th, 2004, 06:01 AM
  #6  
 
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Ivy, my situation is exactly like yours! I am not in denial; I am obsessed!

The good side of this is that I make all the decisions as to where we go and which hotels to stay. Sometimes my enthusiasm spills over and he just rolls his eyes.

One solution for me is to take occasional trips by myself. I went to Edinburgh last month and had a wonderful time. Also I have a couple of friends who are as passionate about Europe as I am and we are happy to talk about our travel plans.

Yes, I am fortunate to have a husband who will travel and enjoys it once he is there.
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Apr 8th, 2004, 06:01 AM
  #7  
ira
 
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Hi Ivy,

Let's face it. There are people in this world who just don't understand the ineffable beauty of those things that arouse our passionate interests.

They are more to be pitied than censured.

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Apr 8th, 2004, 06:06 AM
  #8  
 
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Yes, and many hours are spent together, pre-trip, planning and dreaming- we are lucky .
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Apr 8th, 2004, 06:06 AM
  #9  
 
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Half & half

He enjoys some of the planning -- but the details are mine to "nail down" -- he loves being in Europe once he gets there -- but he is "the trans-atlantic passenger from hell" *lol* [while I have one drink, eat what passes for a meal and sack out -- he fiddles and fidgets for 8 to 10 hours.]

On the other hand yes -- I KNOW am fortunate that he is here to travel with me.
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Apr 8th, 2004, 07:15 AM
  #10  
 
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When I read your post, it was like taking the words out of my mouth. Yes, he loves it as much as I do, and he will go just about anywhere I suggest. BUT, I am not allowed to talk about any future trip except the next one we will go on...I always have one on the back burner. He also likes to relax, so I have to plan down time, usually by water, for some of it.
I am also lucky to still have my husband to travel with, but he is someone who could loose his life any day on his job, so we travel as much as we can afford, because you never know when things could change.
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Apr 8th, 2004, 07:44 AM
  #11  
 
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Hi Ivy, I spend a good hour
a day on this board trying to learn something about a destination that interests me and may interest my family. I do all the planning and when I've settled on a basic plan for a trip I explin it in simple detail to my wife.

She never looks at a guide book or a map.My wife packs for the children and herself. Many times at the airport I explain the final itinerary.

Wherever we go by now I know she and the kids need a few hours of shopping each day and a casual restaurant for lunch and dinner. The hotel could be 1 or 2 stars but location is vitally important.

Taking a guided tour one or two times also helps to break up the interplay between the family members.

It's become a tradition on the last day of the trip for my daughter to say she doesn't want to go home and have my son and wife agree.

Once we return no one rarely mentions the trip or the next one. Even though we watch Rick Steves nearly every night. This seems odd to me but I'll start planning the next trip, drop hints about it and look for indications that their happy about going on the trip.
To each his own!
==Mike
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Apr 8th, 2004, 07:57 AM
  #12  
 
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My husband hates travels, but I am free to go anywhere, anytime, for any price! I have 2 sons, the older one hates it, the younger one is like me, ready to take off any time. If my husband knows he's not going with me, he can listen to anything I say: planning, dreaming...
If we go somewhere together he doesn't want to hear about it: just make a decision and tell me when to leave. I hate to travel alone so usually I join a group or a tour.
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Apr 8th, 2004, 08:10 AM
  #13  
 
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I'm the obsessive planner in the family, so while my husband likes to travel and likes helping with decisons closer to the date, he doesn't understand why I do as much research as I do and so far in advance. For instance, we've decided to go to Paris for our 5 year anniversary--in 2.5 years! However, I keep shoving books in his face and sending him websites, and talking non-stop about the advantages of this arrondisement or that one and whether this hotel is better or that apartment etc. He doesn't understand why I ask him to concentrate on something that's so far in the future! I'm just lucky he pretends to listen at all! ;-)
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Apr 8th, 2004, 08:42 AM
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Yes - after we get there.

With the possible exception that he will listen to language tapes with me as we clean up after dinner, etc., or rent a video about the places or art we'll be seeing.

But his eyes just glaze over if I try to talk to him about more detailed planning stuff. I'm just thankful he lets me plan it, rather than insist on 'let's just wing it' which I would hate with, well, a passion.
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Apr 8th, 2004, 08:44 AM
  #15  
 
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Ivy,
In a word, no. My DW loves to travel w/ me but has NO interest in the planning process. The upside to this for me is that I get to choose locations and, to a certain extent, itineraries. I therefore do not bore/bother her with any details other than flight day/time/airport. If you need to talk ahead of time about planning, daydreaming, etc., try talking about it with someone else. Or do it here on this board!
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Apr 8th, 2004, 08:49 AM
  #16  
 
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I'm with PegS.
My hub really enjoys the trips when they happen but is happy to leave the planning to me. He does input on where we go and helps with decisions when I ask for his input but since I enjoy the planning and he doesn't it's basically my baby.
I'm also one who counts herself as very very lucky to have found someone who enjoys the same kinds of trips, is happy to let me plan them and who is such wonderful company every time.
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Apr 8th, 2004, 08:53 AM
  #17  
Ivy
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Thanks everyone! It is great to know so many people out there are just like me! Thank God for this board!!
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Apr 8th, 2004, 09:47 AM
  #18  
P_M
 
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My husband likes travelling to a point, but does not share my passion for it. He is just as happy to spend a week fishing as going to Europe. Since he doesn't like to eat fish, he throws them back, so the whole processs seems kinda pointless to me. For me, I can fish for maybe an hour before I get bored. So, I go to Europe once or twice a year and he goes fishing. However, after watching the final episode of "Sex in the City" he now wants to go to Paris in 2005. He hasn't been to Europe since 1997, but I think once he gets there he will enjoy it. I'm sure in 2006 he will go fishing, and I will be off on another grand European adventure!! Many of our friends do not understand this arrangement, but we are both happy to take seperate vacations, so why not?
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Apr 8th, 2004, 10:11 AM
  #19  
 
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PM, here is an explanation for friends who don't get it: tell them you should never take on a trip what you can't afford to lose. And it's not only about jewelry, it's about our husbands as well! We can't afford to lose them, can't we? This is how I usually explain why I'm alone.
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Apr 8th, 2004, 10:23 AM
  #20  
 
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Fortunately yes. My husband is a map nut and it gives him an excuse to by maps and learning the ins and outs of a new country or a specific city. We both love to read travel guides and learn about the culture and especially the food. I love hotel research so I usually bring him several hotel choices that we dicide on together, after we've identified the part of town we want to stay in. We've already started planning a vacation that we won't be taking until December!
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