redhead68

I'm a single mom traveling from the US to Spain in two weeks with my 8 year old daughter. I had to fight with her dad for two months and even get lawyers involved before he would finally sign the consent form for her to get a passport. The State Department says that I also need a notarized letter of permission from him, since he won't be present. I've checked online and have seem some reports of people having to produce such a letter for entry into different countries, in addition to a passport. Has anyone here ever had to produce such a letter in order to gain entry with a child to any country? I've seen mixed reports on the internet and wondered if anyone here had any experience. Any advice would be appreciated.

ira

Hi red,

Others have posted about having to have a letter from the other parent giving permission to take the child out of the country.

Check with your lawyer.

Statia

We have always had a notarized letter from my DH's ex, as well as a passport, when we travel out of the country with his daughter.

The letter states consent to travel, as well as consent for medical decisions. We get it just to be on the safe side in case any questions were asked by authorities. We've never been asked for it, but I can see where it might be asked for from time to time.

redhead68

Yeah, my lawyer has been calling his lawyer and they haven't produced anything yet. My lawyers office keeps telling me they'll let me know when they hear something and I'm getting antsy now, since the trip is so close.

kismetchimera

I never had any problems taking my grandchildren out the country.
They even have a different last name.
My grandaughter was only seven years old the first time that I took her to Europe and since then she went back with me 3 times.
Two years ago I took her brother with me, he was only 9 years old.Nobody ever questioned me about me taking my grandchildren abroad.
My daughter is also a single parent and she had to have a notarized consent form from their father to apply for their passports.

Statia

redhead, as long as you and your daughter have the same last name on your passports and airline tickets, I wouldn't worry about it. I doubt you'll get asked for additional info by anyone. For all they know your husband is working and you are taking a trip alone with your daughter.

Barbara

redhead, you really need to have something in writing and especially in your case as your ex is apparently being difficult. You don't want to give him any excuse to have you arrested on trumped up charges upon your return to the US.

From personal experience, if I were you I would reconsider whether or not your trip is important enough to potentially cost thousands of dollars in attorney/court costs and even more hard feelings.

Your lawyer needs to stop calling and send paperwork to be signed. If your ex refuses to sign, you can go to a judge. But, if you have joint legal custody, you have to understand that if your ex won't give his permission, and he doesn't have to, you may be stuck.

WillTravel

Yes, they do ask for this, but not every time. You'll have to resolve it some way ahead of time - not worth the trouble otherwise.

Iregeo

Whether or not your last names are the same, you DO need a notorized letter from the child's non-travelling parent , in addition to a passport, to enable her to LEAVE the country. The rational for this rule (or law) is to prevent child kidnapping. Without such a letter, you run a very real risk of being denied permission to board the plane with her.

If your names are the same, I doubt you'd need a letter authorizing medical treatment. BUT, it couldn't hurt to have one.

tomboy

I realize it's not ethical, but if your ex hasn't signed as of the afternoon before departure, could you and a male of your acquaintance go to a notary, and your cousin sign your ex's name giving permission, hence getting such a document. The ex would never be the wiser, and you could destroy the document upon return. Maybe you could become a notary within the two weeks, and give yourself permission.

LoveItaly

Uhm tomboy, I use to be a Notary. A Notary will (or should) ask for I.D. before Notarizing a signature. If they do not they are then liable if problems arise in the future.

And personal I hardly think a trip is worthwhile getting in legal trouble over due to fraudulant paperwork.

IMHO Barbara has the best solution.
And Iregeo explained the need for the notorized letter correctly.

The best of luck to you redhead. I hope you get everything worked out.

jsmith

tomboy, that is the stupidest suggestion I have ever seen on this board. What you are suggesting is illegal.

The front page of our local paper today has a story titled: "Man charged in 1994 kidnapping of daughter". If found guilty of felony kidnapping of a minor by a relative, he could face a maximum state prison sentence of 5 years. BTW he took his daughter at age 8 to Jordan when he had permission to take his daughter to Chicago.

redhead68

Barbara, I've finally got the passport. It's already cost me...well, way too much, just to get that. This is a trip planned for my dad's 70th birthday. This is probably the only time he'll ever get to travel abroad with his grandchild. None of us have ever been to Europe and it's very important to me and my parents.

I'm not going to let my ex dictate my life. I have a right to travel with my child. If it costs me a few thousand, so be it. He's the one that's caused the hard feelings here by alleging that I will not return with my child. We've had an amicable relationship for the last 5 years before I asked him to sign for the passport. He has absolutely no basis for denying me the opportunity to travel abroad with my child, and I will get a court order if I have to.

I just found out that his lawyer's office has misunderstood what the letter was for. They thought I was asking for a letter so I could get the passport. Okay, I don't understand it either, but I think it's cleared up now. If I don't hear anything back by Monday I'll ask my lawyer to write the letter and send it over for him to sign.

redhead68

No, I'm not going to get someone to forge his signature. He knows I need this letter and I'm not going to risk him finding out and turning me in on that. No way.

mirela

Get the letter if possible.
My daughter travelled to Europe several times alone and/or with her grandparents without questions but the only time she had to fly only with my husband he was asked for a permission letter from me. The letter was required in order to be permitted to board the plane. Luckily we had it done.

Barbara

redhead, I'm glad to hear that you have had a good relationship with your ex except for this. Have you had an opportunity to talk to him yourself to explain to him the purpose of the trip? Perhaps the whole thing is a matter of him feeling you're trying to do whatever you want and not acknowledge his rights. I don't mean to suggest that that is what you are doing, but sometimes these roadblocks start because of seemingly insignificant things. Is it possible for you to talk to him directly, rather than through his lawyers? They have a way of making things much more complicated than they need to be. Got to justify those fees! For all you know, they may have told him you want to live in Spain!

You're right, you should be able to do all those things, but you have to try to get that amicable relationship back for your daughter's sake. Good luck.

redhead68

Yes Barbara. I asked him myself. He refused to talk about it and told me that I "might as well forget it" because he had no intention of signing. After several conversations where he wouldn't tell me what his concerns were, I decided to contact my lawyer. It came out, through our lawyers, that he was afraid I was going to Europe with my child and boyfriend, who happens to be Czech, and that I wasn't going to come back.

I explained to him *before* the involvement of the lawyers that the trip was for my parents, my daughter and myself. We had to sit down with a mediator and talk about his outrageous demands, most involving my boyfriend's passport and travel documents, oh and a $5million bond that he wanted me to purchase. He finally signed the consent form without any "strings attached." So I think what it boils down to, is that he's jealous or insecure or something that, after 5 years, I have a boyfriend. LOL!!

I know we need to be friendly with each other, but his behavior on this is makind it awfully hard. This one isn't going to blow over easily.

Thanks Barbara!

Barbara

You're most likely right. I hope it all works out well for you.

Statia

I feel for you redhead. Sounds like your ex and my DH's ex would make good mates. His ex also used to imply that we would take the child out of the country and never return with her, hence the reason we would request the notarized letter of authorization to travel. She made our annual overseas visits with the daughter very difficult, but thank goodness she would sign the letter of consent for us. Some people can just be so unreasonable.

I agree that it's probably best to have the letter if he is giving you this much grief, but unfortunately I can't offer any other suggestions on how to get it. Could your attorney perhaps have something notarized stating the situation and that your ex refused to grant consent? I guess that would mean it might be illegal to take the child out of the country, though, if you readily admit consent was not granted.

I would hate to think that he could cause you problems on your trip so I hope something gets worked out.

Keep the faith...it gets better down the road after some water passes under the bridge. After fourteen years of her hostility and vindictiveness we are finally on good terms with my DH's ex, so there is hope!

jsmith

This will probably be an unpopular view but I don't think ex-husband is being entirely unreasonable.

Since you have a Czech boyfriend I would want some assurance other than a promise that my daughter would return.