J.D. Miller

Someone suggested this for a topic in the "mom got out of prison" thread. So here, without further pussyfootin', is the best country song title ever:

"If I'd shot you when I wanted to, I'd be out by now."

elizabeth

I believe that was me!

Here are my favourites (although I think they're likely apocryphal:

"As you're leavin' me darlin', walk out the down backwards, so I think you're comin' in"

"While the sign may say "No Drivers" Jesus rides shotgun in my cab"

"Drop kick me Jesus through the goalposts of life"

elizabeth

Not nearly as funny when you have to correct your typos. Should have read:

"As you're leavin' me darlin', walk out the door backwards, so I think you're comin' in".

jdmiller

Must add one by my old songwritin' buddy from Smashville, W.T. Davidson:

"I'm not trying to drown my sorrows, I'm just teaching them to swim."

rusty pierson

Here are a few for this site:
"How can I miss you, darlin', If you Won't go Away"

"I liked you Better Before I knew You So Well" and that tried and true standby"I'm So Miserable Without you, It's almost Like Havin' You Here"

Sue

I've Got Tears in my Ears from Lyin' on my Back Cryin' over You.

And I'm really partial to "Wine, Women and Pink Elephants," which I heard at the tender age of 8 in the dentist's office in Galveston.

Bill

"She Got the Goldmine; I Got the Shaft"

"If I Told You You've Got a Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?"

rusty pierson

She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger;
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly;
She's Lookin Better After Every Beer;
I Never Went to Bed With An Ugly Woman, But I sure Woke Up With a Few.

brown I's

The old Jimmy Buffett hangover song (with background vocals by the Oak Ridge Boys):
"My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink and I Don't Love Jesus."

dan woodlief

Not quite as good as some of the above, but I will never forget the fairly recent hit song "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy."

jdmiller

Just remembered a great one, about a guy recently out of detox or maybe a mental hospital. Title:
"I Don't Remember Loving You."

007

Do I get bonus points for a travel song??

"Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone."