ethan26

Anyone have a funny story about dining in Paris. I thought I'd pick up a couple of do's and don'ts while I'm still on this side of the Atlantic. Thanks all.

bob_brown

I have one little story about a little restaurant in Paris just off of Boulevard Raspail southeast of the intersection with Boulevard Montparnasse. As I recall the name of the place was La Petit Leo.
The place was indeed small; a one waiter, one cook establishment. The meal was on the low side of fair to the extent I never would go back.
When we had finished eating, I gave the "addition" sign indicating I wanted to pay. The waiter brought the bill and I handed him credit card #1.
He soon came back waving his arms wildly and doing his best imitation of a motor that has blown a head gasket and all the coolant is spewing out.

I finally concluded that he was trying to convey to me that my credit card was no good. My girl friend (of 45 years) got the message and rose to go to the nearest ATM, about 100 yards away, for more money. When she stood up, the waiter blew another gasket and started leaking oil. I had remained seated during this whole episode, so I don't know what he thought my girl friend was doing unless he thought she was skipping out on the check.

Although he spoke no English and I speak few words of French, the waiter demonstated through body language that he was not keen on th idea of her leaving the premises.

I was getting a little concerned because this guy was giving signs of acute distress bordering on apoplexy. Naturally everybody in the dining room was staring at us trying to figure out what the duece was going on. Besides, I did not know if he took multi grade oil, or simply SAE 30. Suddenly I had a flash of semi genius. I pulled a few American Express checks out of my passport case and spread them on the table. That calmed him down a little; at least he quit spewing. Then the light really came on. I had a second credit card, an MC rather than a Visa. So I handed him that one.

He took credit card #2 to the back and did with it whatever he did with credit cards. Soon he returned, all smiles and contentment.

I never did figure out what was wrong with my first credit card because it is my primary card and I had used it earlier that day and I continued to use it successfully for the next several months until it expired and the bank sent me a new one. Perhaps the card was in English and their credit machine could not read it.

At any rate we got out without having to wash dishes and sweep the floor, or clean up the oil leak.

I know some people on this forum brand travelers checks as dinosaurs, but I was glad that time I had some. I always carry a few of them out of force of habit as a backup supply of emergency money. They came in handy that time without having to convert one. So I still take along a few checks just in case I find another leaky waiter.

You never know!!

Scarlett

First day in Paris, waiting for the hotel room to be available. Stop in at Cafe Deux Magots for coffee and trying to stay awake after all night flight.
We sat there a while, got up to leave, husband leaves money at table, we walk out. Halfway down the block - someone taps my husband on shoulder, it is the waiter..my husband had left too little ! I was embarrassed thinking they thought that we were just dead beats
But - my husband said something to the waiter-then gave him the correct amount, the waiter laughed and slapped him on the shoulder and went back to the cafe, where we would sit every afternoon of our visit (always paying the correct amount)

Joelleinitaly04

I was about 12 when I went with my mom on one of those 24 countries in 15 day tours. I don't remember much about Europe, but this I do - we were tired, and we went to a restaurant, I guess we didn't want much to eat and my Mom asked if we could just have some soup and the waiter had a fit, went on about stupid Americans and kicked us out. It could not have been a real fancy place because my Mom was cheap and didn't go into places like that, but I guess it was not the right place to order only soup.

Ryan

My now wife, then girlfriend, and I were having lunch at Jules Verne. As my French is really bad, I needed to sneak a peak at my Berlitz book to figure out a few menu items. As I'm "discreatly" looking down, one waiter says to the other "Hey look, he's got the book!" He then turns to me and says "Try page 28." Damned if he wasn't right.

cigalechanta

We were in the Regalade, the waiter brought our apertifs with a spritzer bottle for my husband. To my left sat a lawyer and his too thin too chic wife, he an assosiate of Caroline kennedy; to my left two beautifully dressed French couples. My husband picked up the bottle
for his drink and Voila! aimed the wrong way and squirted one of the French ladies. I Amazed to hear diners laughing, the waiter smiling. She was so very grascious and said not to worry, it's only water.

RachelG

My husband, 2 boys and I were in a very fancy restaurant in Paris. We had ordered a bottle of mineral water as well as a bottle of wine. The waiter made a big production of opening the mineral water, so my husband asked him for the lid, sniffed it, had him pour a small bit into the glass, looked at it very seriously, sniffed the water, and took a sip, slowly savouring it in his mouth. He then nodded to the waiter and told him it was acceptable, all this much to the amusement of our boys. The waiter looked at him very seriously and asked "Is monsieur a water expert?" I answered equally seriously "Oui". We almost fell out of our chairs trying not to laugh.

Natalia

After an all night flight to Paris, a local friend took us to a nice brasserie for a welcome dinner. After a wonderful meal, I was ready to just put my head on the table and take a nap, when I thought I felt something on my toes in my sandals. Yes, I did feel it, something was licking my toes, in my semi awake state I jumped up and looked under the table to look face to face with a little poodle, who wagged his tail and licked his chops. Both tables, mine and the dog owners, erupted in laughter.

elaine

Time: eons ago, first trip to Paris
Place: Boutique a Sandwich, a casual little place off the Champs Elysees where you could get sandwiches, and especially raclette (hot melted cheese scraped onto your plate, with side dishes). Long gone, I'm sorry to say.

Anyway, my companion, eager to show that his knowledge of French was as good as mine, called the waiter over to refill our soft drink glasses.
What he wanted to say, inelegantly but understandably, would have been
"Plus de Coke, s'il vous plait."
(More Coke, please.)
Instead he said "Il pleut de Coke, s'il vous plait."
(It's raining Coke, please.)

The waiter and I had a good laugh.

StCirq

In Bordeaux on a beautiful holiday Sunday morning I was sitting outside at the only place open -The Real McCoy - eating a version of a McSausage and Egg sandwich and home fries. Two gypsy women materialized out of nowhere (please no flames - you have two admit it would sound odd to call them two Rom women in an anecdote like this) and began circling my table with outstretched hands, begging mercilessly. I ignored them, then firmly said no, and then the shopowner came out and told them to disappear. They kept at it, so the shopowner went inside and called the police, at which point they swooped down over my plate, grabbed my half-eaten sandwich and handsful of the home fries, and rocketed off down the street whooping and eating my breakfast.

grandmere

My first time to Paris when I was in college, I was using my schoolgirl French and ordered "du the" (some tea) at a restaurant on the C-E. The waiter brought me "deux thes" (2 cups of tea); so much for my pronunciation of some of the subtle differences in the language!

bashful

our first visit to Paris (or Europe for that matter) was on a bus tour around Europe. We were on our own for the one evening in Paris and wanted to have a "nice" dinner. We had worked our nerve up to have frog's legs (when in Paree etc.)and asked for them. Also asked for a bottle of wine. I think the waiter could sense that we were terribly intimidated by the whole experience. He was not a nice man - either couldn't or wouldn't speak English and made us fumble, stutter etc. for everything. Well we got something in our meal and it sure wasn't frogs legs and the first and last time in our lives, we got a BAD bottle of wine..I mean the wine stunk and the cork stunk! We timidly tried to ask the waiter but he pretended he had no idea what we were talking about..totally ignored us. We ate the food (not good) without ever knowing what it was! and left the wine. We paid for it all because we were afraid not to and left with our tails between our legs! I'm more confident these days and wouldn't never, ever stand for that but back then, I was a fraidy cat!

Weadles

One summer night, we went to a very crowded and typical bistro near Notre Dame. We were enjoying the wonderful food, and toasting to a romantic evening in Paris, when something whizzed by us on the floor. "It's a mouse!" I said to my husband, and we toasted to that. Since others seemed to be really savoring their food, we beckoned the waiter quietly, and told him what had happened. With just a trace of a smirk on his face, he said, "Madame, that was no mouse. That was a cat!" A short time later, there was a shriek at the other end of the restaurant...

swalter518

My husband and I were in Paris in October 2001 after our entire family told us how crazy we were for going. We were eating at Fondue Berger near the Pantheon which we found on our honeymoon two years earlier and loved. We had a totally wonderful trip and we're enjoying dinner until we noticed a men in a Muslim headdress (think Arafat) pacing wildly while talking on a cell phone up and down the sidewalk in front of the restaurant (in the POURING rain). I didn't say anything to my husband for fear of sounding like the ugly,stereotyping American until he and the maitre d' stared arguing. As all our families' paranoia rose to the surface and we were ready to freak out, a delivery truck pulled up (further freaking out) and out came two men with giant wheels of cheese. It turned out the delivery order was late and he was coordinating the supply! Needless to say I felt foolish and embarassed but relieved.

Wendy

This is a great thread! LOL!

I had taken my mom to Paris and we were eating dinner at Chez Renee, we had eaten there earlier in the week and loved it.

They recognized us and sat us between their family doctor and family attorney. A party of 4 English (not sure if they were American, Australian, etc) came in and got quite upset that they had made a reservation and had to wait 5 mins. for the table to be set. Then they started going on and on about what a bad table it was. Finally Rene got really mad and told them to get out of his restaurant! To stop talking to his wife like a dog and to not bother paying for their aperatif's as he did not want their money! Then Rene yelled "You Americans are so rude!!!!"

My mom and I were mortified and really were trying to blend into the wall! Then Rene saw me and just looked so disheartened! He kept apologizing over and over! Then I was apologizing for the people and it was so sweet. They treated us to cheese and wonderful desserts on the house and just gushed over us then rest of the night.

Wendy >-

RonZ

Once in a restaurant one of us ordered a coke, and the waiter said "Ah, american champagne."

JeanneB

My friend and I went to the Louvre. She never passes by a restroom, so rather than wait in the hall I told her I would meet her in the little cafe downstairs.

I was digging into an omelet when she finally walked into the cafe. I looked at her quizzically and asked, "Why are your pants rolled up?"

(They were rolled up all the way to her knees with a huge "hem&quot

You should've seen the look on her face! SHOCK---the kind where you slap yourself on each side of your face!

She fumbled around with her pants legs while explaining to me that the floor had been wet in the restroom and she didn't know what it was....so she rolled up her pants. Then it hit her that she had walked THROUGH THE LOUVRE like that!!!!

We guffaw every time we recall this story.

JeanneB

Note: This was the same woman who, for the first two days in Paris, would tell people, "Je suis tres jolie!". I wasn't really paying attention.

Then I realized she was trying to say "I am very happy", NOT "I am very pretty". Ha Ha!

ed

Not unique to Paris but at first disquiteing and then funny.

We were eating dinner in a brassiere when a man sat down at the table next to us and started along animated conversatiom with the non-existent compannion across the table. After finishing his drink he stood wished us bon jour and left. The staff didn't seem to notice anything amiss.

Surfergirl

Short and sweet:
Our discovery that "Ris de veau" is NOT veal with rice!