A Heavy Heart...

May 23rd, 2001, 10:27 AM
  #1  
Mom
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A Heavy Heart...

Some weeks ago I posed a question about where I should take my son, or two sons, for their High School Graduation present. You were all so responsive and supportive.
This morning my neighbors son, and good friend of my daughter, was killed at the brief age of 18, just days before his high school graduation. In the last couple of years car accidents have claimed the lives of 5 of my children's friends. All really great kids.
So, why am I writing this...to pass on a reminder how important it is to travel whenever you can, we do not know what may happen, and more importantly, hug your kids or loved ones today.
Godspeed to you all.
Mom
 
May 23rd, 2001, 10:33 AM
  #2  
Lisa
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I remember your post and thought it was wonderful. I am terribly sorry for you and especially your neighbor.

I think it is so important for us to let our loved ones know how special they are. Even when my mother knew she was dying, she could not say to her children that she loved them. Never once in my life did I hear that from her. I make sure I let my children know how much I love them and how important they are in my life in words and deed.
 
May 23rd, 2001, 10:34 AM
  #3  
s.fowler
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I am so sorry "Mom". Nothing can replace the loss of a unique person.

What I get from your experience is the need to remember is to instil in our children what good defensive driving is, when not to drive and with whom not to drive. I am not passing judgment on the specifics of what the circumstances are in those 5 deaths you mention. But keeping the above in mind means we are doing as much as we can to make sure that our children don't put themselves knowingly in a postion to become one of those statistics.
 
May 23rd, 2001, 10:43 AM
  #4  
Thyra
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Dear Mom,,, I am so SO sorry for everyone who knew this unique person. As a teenager I had a very close friend pass away through a car accident as well and I think one of the reasons I travel so much is that feeling that your time on this earth is so brief. We need to live life to the fullest every moment, how heart rending to put off until tomorrow things we could do today. How tragic when tomorrow does not arrive. Again, I am so sorry for this loss.
 
May 23rd, 2001, 10:50 AM
  #5  
Mel
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Mom: From one to another, you have my sincere sympathy because I know that watching your children's friends grow up they become a part of the family, so the neighbor's loss is your family's, as well. My daughter lost a good friend to a sudden heart attack on the morning of their prom day. Absolutely devestating for young people to be faced with mortality in such rude ways. I assume you're still taking your sons away after graduation? Timing couldn't be better for renewing your bond together and give space to the tragedy by leaving the area. Best of luck for an especially great trip.
 
May 23rd, 2001, 11:01 AM
  #6  
kam
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How very sad that it takes a tragedy to remind us how much we love our children. My son also lost friends during high school including one who was shot by a jealous teenager. This young man was attending a summer school for gifted science students when he was shot because the car he was riding in (he was a passenger) stopped to talk to a group of local girls. He was an only child. Other friends of my son were seriously hurt or killed in car accidents. A friend of ours lost a son to 30 bullets because he was invited to a graduation party and the murderer was not. At the time, this boy was a paraplegic, confined to a wheelchair after a car accident.These things should never happen. The children themselves just think they're invincible. God help them.
 
May 23rd, 2001, 11:03 AM
  #7  
Judy
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I am so sorry for you, life is so short and unpredictable !!
 
May 23rd, 2001, 11:09 AM
  #8  
Joan
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A year ago Easter my daughter, then 17, and away at school in Europe lost 2 friends, school-mates, in a train accident. The whole school was devastated. They were blessed with an inspired and caring assistant headmaster who took all that teenage new experience with grief and turned it into activity: fundraising for a memorial window in the school , stained glass and with the two kids names intertwined in the picture,in this case. For my daughter, it seemed to halp a lot to be able to 'concretize' the experience. I mention this only because I think it helped those kids deal with their first experience of senseless tragedy. This Easter,back home, my child asked to come to church with me and that was a first in many years. Later she went to visit the Mum of one of the kids who died and took a script from a play they had been in together and on which he had made notes. She said his Mum cried but seemed very happy to be able to talk about him to her, not everyone wanted to listen after 'such a long time' thinking she should be over it. You other Mothers reading this will be able to understand that mix of emotions best. My prayers and thoughts are with you and those grieving Mums.
 
May 23rd, 2001, 11:42 AM
  #9  
Kathy
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Oh, I am so sorry! A few days prior to our graduation, one of my classmates lost her little sister to a hit& run accident, and it affected our entire school. Please accept my sincere condolensces.

Life is so very short. Please hug the ones you love today & let them know they occupy a special place in your life. You are right to remind us to do what we can while we can with the ones we love.

May time ease your pain, and may all your memories be happy ones,
Kathy
 
May 23rd, 2001, 04:26 PM
  #10  
M&J
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Just today a younger mother shared that in
 
May 23rd, 2001, 04:32 PM
  #11  
Art
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I'm so sorry for your and your neighbor's loss. I can't imagine how I'd feel if I lost my son. Stay close to your children and let them know how much they are loved.
 
May 23rd, 2001, 04:52 PM
  #12  
Meg
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Mom - very sorry to hear the sad news. You and your son's friend's family are in all our thoughts.
 
May 24th, 2001, 06:16 AM
  #13  
jcabral
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Mom- your post brought tears. My own daughter is graduating and has sufferred through some terrible losses this year with family members' and friends' deaths. Talk to your children- it is essential they process such huge grief. It is sad that it takes such a tragedy to remind us of what precious gifts the people in our lives are.Your children will find ways to honor the memories of their friends- celebrate this with them. God bless.
 
May 24th, 2001, 06:39 AM
  #14  
janice
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Dear Mom,
My heart goes out to you in this time.
But I am cheered by the warm condolences you are receiving - embrace the people around you - no matter who they are - and share the love you have inside of you and you will be consoled.
My prayers are with you. - Janice
 
May 24th, 2001, 09:42 AM
  #15  
dan woodlief
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All my sympathies as well. I remember attending a lot of funerals when I was around 19-20 - lots of auto accidents mostly. I also witnessed what had to be one of the saddest things ever, when a car was hit by a train during a funeral procession. As a father of a two-year old myself, I realize more and more each day how precious our children are and how quickly the years do go by. There is nothing on this Earth to equal the the beauty of a child or the loss of a child, but I hope your neighbors can eventually find peace and go on with their lives.
 
May 24th, 2001, 09:58 AM
  #16  
Mom
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Thank you all for your kind words of comfort. The most horrible part of all this is having to tell your child they lost a friend. I have had to do this too many times. We even had a scare last year at this time when a policeman came to our door around 1:00 a.m. and told us our daughter was involved in a serious car accident and was being airlifted to a major city three hours away. It turned out that it was a case of mistaken identity. I can only imagine how all these parents must feel.
Thank you, again. Take care of those you love. Make every day count and seek joy in all things.
Mom
 

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