2 weeks in France next May
Aug 30th, 2015, 04:43 AM
#23
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,713
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Do some people think they will get some kind of notice when they have responses?
I do. I appreciate getting an answer...
It is something strange on forums : when you are harsh towards OP, you get heat form people saying basically 'if you don't like the post or the thread, don't bother, don't be harsh'.
And these people are right.
Now when you do answer, it is - in my case - to have a return, an acknowledgment from OP.
But some people say 'don't expect an answer, you fool'.
And they are right.
But then wy do I post ? to show off ? To have a conversation with regulars ?
If I cna't have fun or acknowledgment, then I'd better stay away, because it is the logival conclusion from the 2 behaviours : I can't expect anything and I can't have a rant (even an ironic one ?).
So, yes, be it - I have fought addiction (?) on other forums, I can disappear from this one too.
Is this the ony way ?
I do. I appreciate getting an answer...
It is something strange on forums : when you are harsh towards OP, you get heat form people saying basically 'if you don't like the post or the thread, don't bother, don't be harsh'.
And these people are right.
Now when you do answer, it is - in my case - to have a return, an acknowledgment from OP.
But some people say 'don't expect an answer, you fool'.
And they are right.
But then wy do I post ? to show off ? To have a conversation with regulars ?
If I cna't have fun or acknowledgment, then I'd better stay away, because it is the logival conclusion from the 2 behaviours : I can't expect anything and I can't have a rant (even an ironic one ?).
So, yes, be it - I have fought addiction (?) on other forums, I can disappear from this one too.
Is this the ony way ?
Aug 30th, 2015, 09:28 PM
#24
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 8,159
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I was thinking about this one.
I think we are tough on newbies, and we ought not to be.
I think that, just because we check in regularly is no reason to assume others will.
I think that, if Lynnr comes back now, she will be affronted, and will flee.
It's nice to be thanked, for sure. But it's nicer not to whinge if we're not
I think we are tough on newbies, and we ought not to be.
I think that, just because we check in regularly is no reason to assume others will.
I think that, if Lynnr comes back now, she will be affronted, and will flee.
It's nice to be thanked, for sure. But it's nicer not to whinge if we're not
Aug 30th, 2015, 09:52 PM
#25
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 23,118
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
"Is this the ony way ?"
No -- you can give your best advice in the hope that the OP -- or others -- find useful information in what you say, even if they never tell you. I like the way sheila put it: "It's nice to be thanked, for sure. But it's nicer not to whinge if we're not." JMO.
No -- you can give your best advice in the hope that the OP -- or others -- find useful information in what you say, even if they never tell you. I like the way sheila put it: "It's nice to be thanked, for sure. But it's nicer not to whinge if we're not." JMO.
Aug 31st, 2015, 10:51 AM
#27
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,466
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Giving free advice and wanting something in return is as arrogant as you can be.
Am I supposed to post a thanks if I read one of your old posts and it is helpful?
If I do, won't I get criticized as well for bringing up an ancient post?
If you EXPECT anything from a free site, you are sadly mistaken in how the world works. Get a job as a travel agent and your sage advice will be compensated.
Am I supposed to post a thanks if I read one of your old posts and it is helpful?
If I do, won't I get criticized as well for bringing up an ancient post?
If you EXPECT anything from a free site, you are sadly mistaken in how the world works. Get a job as a travel agent and your sage advice will be compensated.
Aug 31st, 2015, 12:54 PM
#30
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 12,018
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
If we get useful info from old posts, I don't think anyone expects a thank you. If the opportunity comes up, it is nice to mention it, but the OP may not even be reading it any more.
OTOH, it is nice if the OP, who starts a thread and asks for help, could respond as to whether the advice is going in the right direction. Otherwise, no point continuing with advice.
Things happen though. People get sick. There are accidents. Emergencies delay response. Plans change and people forget about their post.
Lynnr's trip is several months away. Maybe the whole plan fell through. Maybe she wants to be more focused before returning.
OTOH, it is nice if the OP, who starts a thread and asks for help, could respond as to whether the advice is going in the right direction. Otherwise, no point continuing with advice.
Things happen though. People get sick. There are accidents. Emergencies delay response. Plans change and people forget about their post.
Lynnr's trip is several months away. Maybe the whole plan fell through. Maybe she wants to be more focused before returning.
Aug 31st, 2015, 12:55 PM
#31
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 78,320
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
apersauder persauded me about this - nice to get thanks but not a prerequisite to giving out info simply because other people read these things besides the OP - stu you are boycotting them too - many more than the OP so a shortsighted take if you want to get them to e-mail you for your (excellent) itineraries.
Aug 31st, 2015, 01:54 PM
#32
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 16,434
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I'm certainly not going to spend a whole lot of time doing research for someone who either does not even come back to read my suggestions, or someone who reads them but is not grateful enough to offer a "thanks" or some sort of follow up.
When someone does me a favor, I always thank them. I receive "thanks" for about 90% of the itineraries I e-mail to people.
Stu Dudley
When someone does me a favor, I always thank them. I receive "thanks" for about 90% of the itineraries I e-mail to people.
Stu Dudley
Aug 31st, 2015, 01:57 PM
#33
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 12,018
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
PalenQ, that is a good point.
Stu, the first info I got from you was what I read on other posts where you gave advice. It was so helpful, I decided I wanted everything and you emailed me your itinerary for Provence. Such a wealth of info. Everybody owes you big time for creating it.
A long time ago, StCirq mentioned Aigues Morte in a TR or in a response. It caught my attention. We ended up including it on our trip. It wouldn't be for everyone, but I loved the whole area and owe StCirq.
Even when posters disagree with each other, conflicting opinions and descriptions can be useful for people sorting out their trips. Hearing the same place described as boring and dull by one person and beautiful and peaceful by another is useful.
So, keep posting, not just for the OP, but for others reading for ideas and to keep up to date on things.
Stu, the first info I got from you was what I read on other posts where you gave advice. It was so helpful, I decided I wanted everything and you emailed me your itinerary for Provence. Such a wealth of info. Everybody owes you big time for creating it.
A long time ago, StCirq mentioned Aigues Morte in a TR or in a response. It caught my attention. We ended up including it on our trip. It wouldn't be for everyone, but I loved the whole area and owe StCirq.
Even when posters disagree with each other, conflicting opinions and descriptions can be useful for people sorting out their trips. Hearing the same place described as boring and dull by one person and beautiful and peaceful by another is useful.
So, keep posting, not just for the OP, but for others reading for ideas and to keep up to date on things.
Aug 31st, 2015, 03:01 PM
#34
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 78,320
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
So, keep posting, not just for the OP, but for others reading for ideas and to keep up to date on things.>
Well yes - moi I usually read Stu's posts because I know he is an expert in every way. But I do not stop to thank him or everybody whose posts I read.
I think it is cutting off your nose to spite your face as the old adage goes. The more such an experienced poster posts we all learn - us the silent majority.
and yes if is rude for an OP not to give thanks or at least acknowledge the help on that we agree but please don't cut us off too - those along for the read - sometimes of places we've been and love to hear your take on them!
Well yes - moi I usually read Stu's posts because I know he is an expert in every way. But I do not stop to thank him or everybody whose posts I read.
I think it is cutting off your nose to spite your face as the old adage goes. The more such an experienced poster posts we all learn - us the silent majority.
and yes if is rude for an OP not to give thanks or at least acknowledge the help on that we agree but please don't cut us off too - those along for the read - sometimes of places we've been and love to hear your take on them!
Sep 1st, 2015, 06:21 AM
#35
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,466
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I've been on Fodor's for about 10 years. Frommers before that, but the spam on that site killed it for me. I'm amazed at the ownership that occurs in many simply by coming to this page regularly and offering (most of the time anyways) great advice. I regularly troll the pages simply reading for potential future use, even when I don't have a trip planned. For a regular reader, and a semi-regular poster, I know who is who here - there are certain names that I see and because of prior history of reading their posts that I simply skip.
Stu has regularly been one of the "good" posters here, because of the great advice he gives, and the free e-mails of itineraries he sends, I received one several years ago for the south of France but was unable to put a trip together with it for various other reasons. It had much great advice. The reason for my first post above was related to several personal friends requesting information for trips. I suggested that they come to this site and simply troll through the subjects they're interested in, and try to get a better idea what they wanted to do. All three of them came back and complained about the "dicks" that seemed to permeate this site. I took their word, (all three used the same word) to mean the arrogance we sometimes see here. The beginning of this thread had a few "careful, this is a newbie, don't scare them off" posts, which for "some" reason show up way too often here. EVERYONE sees it, and no one seems to stop doing it.
If my post above stops one or two from "doing" it, at the cost of being "unfriended" here by some of the better advice givers (travel advice anyway) then so be it. I would prefer the Fodor's site from pre-2008, which is the bellwether of when confrontation, arrogance and a general lack of decorum began, IMO.
This too I blame on Obama. He's to blame for everything wrong in the world anyways, so I'll jump on that bandwagon for effect.
Stu has regularly been one of the "good" posters here, because of the great advice he gives, and the free e-mails of itineraries he sends, I received one several years ago for the south of France but was unable to put a trip together with it for various other reasons. It had much great advice. The reason for my first post above was related to several personal friends requesting information for trips. I suggested that they come to this site and simply troll through the subjects they're interested in, and try to get a better idea what they wanted to do. All three of them came back and complained about the "dicks" that seemed to permeate this site. I took their word, (all three used the same word) to mean the arrogance we sometimes see here. The beginning of this thread had a few "careful, this is a newbie, don't scare them off" posts, which for "some" reason show up way too often here. EVERYONE sees it, and no one seems to stop doing it.
If my post above stops one or two from "doing" it, at the cost of being "unfriended" here by some of the better advice givers (travel advice anyway) then so be it. I would prefer the Fodor's site from pre-2008, which is the bellwether of when confrontation, arrogance and a general lack of decorum began, IMO.
This too I blame on Obama. He's to blame for everything wrong in the world anyways, so I'll jump on that bandwagon for effect.
Sep 1st, 2015, 12:23 PM
#36
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 78,320
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
All three of them came back and complained about the "dicks" that seemed to permeate this site.>
Yes been a constant problem with some Fodorgarchs - being downright rude to newbies who yes may ask too general a question or have unrealistic itineraries, etc.
First one gives a flippant remark then others try to top them in their rudeness or as they see it cleverness.
This happense a lot as apersauder's three dicks example attests to - too bad because Fodor's lives off I would think newbie posters who respond to banner ads, etc. Fodorgarchs I think rarely do anything like that. and Fodor's is hurt - I've been railing against this for years but have given up largely because it's like telling the Pope to convert to Judaism - falls on deaf ears. and then they start berating the messenger and forget the message.
Note - not referring to anyone in particular in this thread as I have not read all the responses but in general as apersauder told about his three friends who were scared away by such often blunt Fodorgarch comments.
Yes been a constant problem with some Fodorgarchs - being downright rude to newbies who yes may ask too general a question or have unrealistic itineraries, etc.
First one gives a flippant remark then others try to top them in their rudeness or as they see it cleverness.
This happense a lot as apersauder's three dicks example attests to - too bad because Fodor's lives off I would think newbie posters who respond to banner ads, etc. Fodorgarchs I think rarely do anything like that. and Fodor's is hurt - I've been railing against this for years but have given up largely because it's like telling the Pope to convert to Judaism - falls on deaf ears. and then they start berating the messenger and forget the message.
Note - not referring to anyone in particular in this thread as I have not read all the responses but in general as apersauder told about his three friends who were scared away by such often blunt Fodorgarch comments.
Sep 1st, 2015, 03:03 PM
#37
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,466
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I wish I would have remembered the "fodorgarch" term from other posts. It pretty much nails it on the head. Unfortunately, the term i used was by my friends, maybe I shouldn't have passed it through but beating around the bush is as bad as just burning it down.
I think the other aspect we as humans forget is our own egos. Lynn may have not been aware that many other people of Fodors check it regularly, sometimes two or three times each day (like myself) so we can often have difficulty seeing that others may simply not be returning quickly because they aren't just like us. When a thread blows up, like this one has, with many posts unrelated to the Original topic, when the OP does come back, they not only didn't get the advice they hoped for, but got a tongue lashing to boot.
I think the other aspect we as humans forget is our own egos. Lynn may have not been aware that many other people of Fodors check it regularly, sometimes two or three times each day (like myself) so we can often have difficulty seeing that others may simply not be returning quickly because they aren't just like us. When a thread blows up, like this one has, with many posts unrelated to the Original topic, when the OP does come back, they not only didn't get the advice they hoped for, but got a tongue lashing to boot.
