I am helping to plan a family vacation for sometime in July or August. There will be 7 of us: parents, grandparents and three "kids" ages 19-28. We want relaxation, shopping, great beaches, and some sort of nightlife for the kids (unlike what we had in Jamaica last summer). My mom and grandma don't want to cook so renting a villa is out. We were looking at The Ritz on St. Thomas and would like something along those lines. Any suggestions?

Aruba is a great destination where your kids can roam at night fairly safely(that is using good judgement just like an adult of course). Aruba has great beaches with lots of activities and great food. We stayed at the Marriott. Some other good spots would be the Hyatt and the Radisson.
I am sure the Ritz is a nice hotel on St.Thomas. My parents stayed there a few years ago and liked it, but I think it is removed from other places. I also have read that Charlotte Amelie, the town is not safe to walk around at night(travel books say this repeatedly). Hopefully you can get some other suggestions as well.

I had another thought this morning. Bermuda. It does not have a great nightlife, but there is some. If you stay at one of the larger resorts, you can feel pampered and have the spa/golf, etc.. Elbow Beach or The fairmont southhampton Princess would be good. Your kids can hop on mopeds and go safely anywhere on the island. There are some night clubs downtown that my husband and I went to but we felt old (mid thirties at the time). So your kids would fit right in. There is also a fun pub called King Henry the VIII's that you can walk to from the Fairmont. The larger resorts will have nightly entertainment. We always went to see Jimmy Keys. He is a piano player/comedian. He can be a little dirty, but he is very funny. My parents liked him so he can't be too bad.
Public bus transportation is great, cheap and safe. The beaches are wonderful and you can go anywhere on the island via moped with your snorkle gear. The food is great also. Oh and the town is very cute for shopping/lunch out,etc... I have been to Bermuda several times and have enjoyed every visit. I was 12, 19, about 36 and again at 38,and 39 years old. It is one of the places I felt very safe roaming around. The island is british and it has kept many traditions. Such as afternoon tea is served almost everywhere. There is very little poverty on this island. So, have fun choosing.

Check out the Westin resort on St John usvi

st. thomas ritz is a gorgeous (very ritzy) resort. a very nice beach, which while not private is really for guests only. it is not so much "away from it all" but it is away from char. amalie. the east end has gorgeous beaches, several resorts, coral world/coki beach and no traffic jams. tony romano's and blue moon restaurant are nearby. red hook is the town (with a couple pubs)on that end and where you catch the ferry to st. john. it would not be difficult to taxi to char am (30 mins without cruiseship traffic)for the day to shop - which is not to be missed! there are so many stores you could do nothing but shop for days and all duty free!
bolongo beach resort which has iggies bar is about 10min drive.
i too have heard that char am is not to be wandered at night but i believe that nightspots themselves are safe, and there is really no reason to walk around in town at night anyway. and, if you stayed at the ritz the "kids" would taxi there & back.
st.john will have very little nightlife.
many villas come with a maid,cook and gardener. maybe mom and gran would like to watch others cook and clean??
if you do st. t check out www.newhorizonscharters.com they do a cigarette boat cruise every day to the baths, marina cay and 2 others with snorkeling, lunch and foxy's. its a super trip. book early. they go from sapphire beach resort just next to the ritz.