Where to travel in Canada?

Jun 19th, 2002, 08:28 AM
  #1  
George Burnett
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Where to travel in Canada?

I am an American and have never travelled in Canada before. Which Canadian state would you recommend. I have never been to the state of Toronto but I hear it is a nice sight. I have also heard that I you guys have a really nice and big Canadian mall in somewhere called Edmonton, but I forget which state that is in. Is the Edmonton mall within driving distance to Toronto (less than 5 hours one way). Thank you for your help.
 
Jun 19th, 2002, 08:49 AM
  #2  
Arent
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Obviously this troll has gone to the trouble of setting up a hotmail account in the name of George B. so I think rather than ignore this troll post I shall reply.

I suggest that you can easily drive from the state of Toronto to the big Canadian Mall, located in the state of Edmonton,(really Calgary is the state), in oh maybe 5 days or less. Depending of course on the covered wagons on the roads or if you get assaulted by Indians. Dont worry though about the Indians, no guns allowed here in Canada, at least the Indians dont bother to register them, and quite frankly they find scalping Americans way too easy and boring now. So with a few "feels" of your women folk and possibly a quick check of your valuables they will let you through. However, if you do get taken to a reservation, well, dont call the cops, because they dont respond in Indian territory. While you are reading up on Canada, which obviously you have been doing, check out words like OKA or something like that, it will give you a feel for Canada. If you decide not to travel from the state of Toronto to the big Canadian Mall, you can maybe just take day trips to fabulous other Canadian malls, like Scarborough, Yorkdale, Mississauga, etc. Also try the Toronto Zoo, sorta like a mall.
But to answer your first question, as to which Canadian state I recommend for a nice sight, I think I would choose the state of Northwest Terrritories. Maybe even a nice Canadian Mall up there, after all, the Inuit (maybe Eskimos to Americans)have to shop too! Be careful up there though, the whales in our lakes are big! They love to eat Americans as food.
Enjoy Canada.
 
Jun 19th, 2002, 09:02 AM
  #3  
xxx
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You have got to be kidding me.
 
Jun 19th, 2002, 09:31 AM
  #4  
welove
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Well, now look here, Arent, you forgot to tell George that everybody in Canada speaks French, not English, so he will have to bring along a French-English dictionary. Of course if he runs into some of those Indians you were talking about, he should bring along some trinkets to trade with them. This might be easier than shopping at the Canadian Mall. Otherwise I think the advice you have given is perfect - oh, yes, I forgot: the climate. It is always very cold and snowy up here. George should make sure that he is wearing a heavy, warm coat, ideally fur-lined, if he is planning to visit this summer.
 
Jun 19th, 2002, 10:54 AM
  #5  
Melissa
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Don't forget to bring lots of batteries if you want to do anything electrical. our power is shotty at best...some people have never even seen power
 
Jun 19th, 2002, 06:39 PM
  #6  
welove
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Yeah, and some people have seen entirely too much of it. Like the Prime Minister, for example.
 
Jun 19th, 2002, 07:06 PM
  #7  
Aren't
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Oh my gosh, I DID forget about the language and weather issues!!
Well, really, if you think about it, as George is American, I am assuming (probably incorrectly of course) that this fellow has travelled in his own country, and we all know that those Americans cant speak proper English anyway in half the backwater US towns, so George shouldnt have TOO much trouble. After all, how many states (the American ones) can you visit where you understand what the heck they are saying anyway? But yes a good French/English dictionary might help George out.

As to the weather, I was kinda hoping George was from one of those northern US states that actually gets more snow that most of our states do, and he might find our frigid weather balmy. But right you are, he should bring his sheepskin coat and boots. Maybe even a Davy Crockett hat and the Indians wont scalp him for sure.

Another place George can visit is the CN Tower. And George, CN stands for Canadian Nuts. Its an inside joke really but we will let you in on a very private secret. DO NOT Wear anything that would make you stand out as an American, and for Pete's sake DONT SPEAK, if you do the Canadian Nuts have this little game they play, well its a betting thing really: throw an American off the tower and time how fast he falls. So act like a Canadian, if you dress as we suggest you will fit right in, don't open your mouth, and you will be just fine.

One last pointer; while driving from state to state you will encounter lots of wildlife; bears, moose, deer etc. Bring lots of foof to feed them with. They are really quite tame. Just pull over, get out of your car slowly, friendly like, and feed them by hand. Amazing! This is the NORTH! We are a friendly bunch, including our animals (except for the whales)
Happy travels and all that stuff.
 
Jun 19th, 2002, 07:22 PM
  #8  
Aren't
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George,
One last thing I forgot to mention;
MONEY!

Yes, we use the paper stuff here too, but I have to warn you, we also have a lot of coins. Loonies and Twoonies. Kinda cute sounding dont ya think?!? Anyway, we have lots of coins, very heavy in the pockets, but when you walk down the street with your pockets jingling, you feel on top of the world! Now back to our bills, best of all are the colours! (Thats colors to you of course.) Anyway, there are these special stores, kinda like a Wallmart thing up here, but even better because they are so stupid they give you money back when you pay them, its called Canadian Tire money. This is also acceptable currency in our country, anywhere at all, and a darn good exhange rate to boot when you cash in your American green bills. You go right ahead and use it along with any other coloured Canadian money you receive while here. Most stores, restaurants etc, will smile knowingly when you pay with this money, knowing you are a WISE American who has been told where to shop upon arriving in Canada. They may even have a laugh or two with you about it. Once again, thats us, the friendly Canucks (slang for Canadians, rhymes with pucks)
 
Jun 20th, 2002, 12:17 AM
  #9  
canada
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I hope you idiots don't come this way! We need no more gun-loving, idiots like you trolls! We have no states and Toronto is a city, nicer than any place in the U.S. of course. Montreal tops that. But stay away, we don't want you since you are such a geek.
 
Jun 20th, 2002, 01:10 AM
  #10  
Garg
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How embarrassing...
 
Jun 20th, 2002, 06:01 AM
  #11  
welove
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I thought of a really good idea just in case George can't find a French-English dictionary in the USA anywhere. Those can be really hard to come by. So - Arent, perhaps you can comment on the wisdom of this - one thing that those of us who travel frequently in foreign countries have learned is that if you yell really, really loudly in English, and leave out words like "a" and "the", and speak slowly, what you say will magically sound exactly like the language that is spoken in the country you're visiting. This is a handy travel tip that experienced cosmopolitan people like George will be able to make good use of.
 
Jun 20th, 2002, 08:13 AM
  #12  
Melissa
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This is so funny!!!
 
Jun 23rd, 2002, 11:21 AM
  #13  
ds
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hearty harharhar!!!

Oh and George... be sure to post a trip report when you get back.
 
Jun 23rd, 2002, 04:23 PM
  #14  
welove
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Oh, my goodness. Such an outburst in response to other people having fun! I'll bet you're a joy to have around at the playground where you go to junior high school.
 
Jun 24th, 2002, 07:52 AM
  #15  
George Burnett
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I just got back from my trip to Canada. However, it was not like anyone of you made it seem. When I was in the state of Toronto, I didn't see any igloos or animals, although we Americans were under the impression that Canadians did live in igloos. Also, I could not believe all of those American stores that you have in the state of Toronto. Boy, you guys must be glad to have us around!
 
Jun 24th, 2002, 07:55 AM
  #16  
sillyquestion
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Really annoyed, it was written in fun and responded to in fun. Where or where is your sense of humour?
 
Jun 24th, 2002, 08:55 AM
  #17  
welove
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George, I think you're a bit confused. Those American stores that you saw, plus the lack of igloos and animals, are an indication that you were on the American side of the state of Toronto. If you had gone closer to the border (it's called Highway 401) you would have seen the flags flying, showing that you were crossing into the Canadian side of Toronto. Once you're on the Canadian side, that's where you see the igloos and the bears, moose, etc. The whales are in Lake Ontario but they're pretty far underwater so you can't really see them very well.
 
Jun 24th, 2002, 01:06 PM
  #18  
George Burnett
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One thing that I did not understand was why when I was at the border, I had to tell them that I had guns on me. When I was in Canada, particularly in the state of Toronto, I wanted to shoot some blacks, just like I do back home, but they would not let me take my guns with me. I could have hid them in my old beaten up pickup truck, but it wouldn't have worked.
 
Aug 12th, 2002, 06:23 PM
  #19  
natasha
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George needs to take his confederate flag--tie it nice and tight around his neck and then attach it to the back of his good ole pick up truck. Then I think it would be great of George to yell to his mother, who is also his sister, aunt, grandmother and daughter and ask her to drive full tilt dragging his yank ass behind. Happy Trails
 
Aug 13th, 2002, 06:00 PM
  #20  
sharon
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Dear George,
I think you don't understand that people get sensitive about the country they call home. You would have felt the same way if anyone started to insult the country you live in. In fact, people insult the U.S. all the time,don't they? Do you find it funny?
 

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