thursdaysd

"Personally I would not even recommend train travel for foreigners unless you are taking the "Palace on Wheels". "

And spending oceans of money. Provided you stick to 1AC or 2AC there is no reason for foreigners to avoid the trains. 2AC especially is an excellent way to meet Indians not employed in the tourist industry. (And if you are a backpacker you will probably take 3AC or sleeper class.)

I do agree that India is not as safe as it was when I traveled in 2001, or even 2010, which is why I recommended a car and driver for the OP. I would still expect train travel to be safe.

AnnJK

@thursdaysd, There are several budget airline options these days and when you factor in hours spent on train, flying is better especially if you are going from the North to the South. Within one region, road travel may be easier. Our family covered Delhi, Agra, Jaipur with a car and driver. Yes, agree that train travel gives you a cultural perspective that you would otherwise not see.

thursdaysd

From south to north or v.v. I would probably fly, although you have to add hours to the actual flight time. It saves sightseeing time to take a night train that leaves in the evening and arrives in the morning. Road travel is often NOT easier, or certainly not smoother, it depends on the state of the roads. I would prefer to forget the ones in rural Karnataka....

MmePerdu

This is the 2nd time recently I've heard a woman born in a country warn other women to not travel alone in their countries of origin. The other was an Egyptian woman no longer living here who told someone initially keen to join me on this trip that she shouldn't do it, and so she didn't. The assumption, presumably, is that a woman born into the culture in question would know all about such things. But I doubt the veracity of such an assumption and wonder if the opposite may not be true. I may be off base but wonder if rules of behavior learned in an Indian or Egyptian family aren't very much at play here, rather than the specific issue of safety. Also in the west questions of safety are brought up regularly to those of us who choose to set off on our own. Underlying all these warnings, it seems to me, is the old issue of expectations for women's behavior. After more than half a century of safely going where the spirit moved me, I know it well.

I'll add that I suspect most women of an adventurous nature who travel alone and safely continue to do it year after year also are equipped with a special radar that tells them what constitutes safe behavior in any given situation and we behave accordingly. Not everyone, of course, and this may be the source of some scary stories, incidents that most of us wouldn't experience. Two friends I took to Morocco with me on different occasions seemed to loose any good sense (if any) they had at home and went off with local men on adventures, seemingly with no sense of where they were. Fortunately nothing bad happened beyond one having to buy a new flight at considerable cost, having missed our flight while gallivanting.

Some of us are equippped for solo travel and some aren't in a variety of ways. I imagine most who aren't give it up and those who don't may run jnto trouble. In most cases I suspect it's judgement rather than culture at play.

gertie3751

Yes, agree MmeP. My central/south American students used to be horrified that I was setting off down there alone. And were amazed that I came back to tell the tale. Not once but lots of times. Like you, I think it is judgement/instinct that guides us. Not that I haven't had the odd scary moment though.

The other thing I find living in the US, is that Americans are fed a diet of fear (media, US Embassy websites, travel advisories) about the outside world, so generally fewer Americans set off travelling outside of American-organised tours or cruises. It doesn't seem to happen in Europe. This isn't written in stone, just my observation after 20+ years!!

annhig

Well what I have ended up doing may not come as big surprise to those who have been following the ups and downs of this thread, as both India and Egypt are off the agenda for now, and I am going to Italy to do a language course in Bologna.

I owe all of you a great deal of thanks and probably an apology as well except that I don't feel that I've been wasting your time; I'm pretty certain that I will get to India one day, just not next February, which you were all too tactful to tell me was rather too soon after the emotional upheavals I have been through.

As for Egypt, I should have loved that too, but the security situation worried me [probably more than it should] and I didn't feel that I had the energy to do a huge amount of research about it. Italy will be easy by myself - I will fly into Venice, which I know reasonably well, spend a few days there [in an area I've not stayed in before so that will be interesting] and then get the train to Bologna where I will join the language school for 2 weeks. Previously I've only been able to go for a week at a time so 2 will be a real luxury, and will give me the chance to see if I've been right when I felt that 2 weeks together was worth 3 separate ones. So there will be company and independence which is a combination I am familiar with and like. Suddenly I feel much calmer and more comfortable.

You have all been so patient and for that, and for all of the tips and suggestions, I thank you.

gertie3751

Great news! And what a good idea. A language course will give you focus, companions if you want them, not to mention the linguistic boost... though I gather you are well ahead of the field in that. And the FOOD.

Bologna is a good centre for looking at places like Ferrara, Mantua, Parma and especially Ravenna if you are interested in three-digit history!!

And it's not too far from home at the moment.
Keep us up-to-date.
xx

MmePerdu

At times like these anything you want to do is the right thing to do. Maybe it's always true but most especially now.

thursdaysd

Good for you for figuring out what you need right now. Agree with gertie about awesome Ravenna and I am rather fond of Ferrara.

Marija

Ann--I am in awe of your ability to focus on studying in Italy. I know that for me the culinary distractions would overwhelm the linguistic nuances.

Don't neglect to visit my favorite gelato shop in Bologna (though unfortunately based on old data)

http://www.lasorbetteria.it

Looking forward to reading about your Bologna adventure and someday your trip to India.

CaliforniaLady

Mazel tov, Ann, on making a wise decision. Enjoy your course, and please post a link on the Asia board should you have a trip report up on the Europe board.

Threads like this never go to waste. There will be other ladies in the future who will stumble across it and find it helpful. And of course, we all had fun chit chatting with you.

loncall

I am so pleased that you have been able to work through all the options to identify what you want to do for your next trip. Italy and an intensive language course sounds a great solution allowing you time to get more 'in tune' with your solo state whilst also offering an interest, a challenge and ready made set of classmates {and potential new friends} at the same time. And of course the foodie and wine opportunities will be great !

Happily India is not going to go anywhere and so you will have all the fun of it to enjoy at some future date when you feel the time is right.

annhig

You are all so kind. You're right, none of this will got to waste, and in the unlikely event that I don't ever get to go to India, perhaps someone else will be able to benefit from your accumulated wisdom. And it was fun chatting with you all.

Anyone with any ideas about good places to stay in Bologna is of course very welcome to continue the chat, but perhaps we should do that elsewhere along with a discussion of the food [thank you Marija for the gelateria details] and possible excursions. The language school does some [not sure what yet] but Ravenna is already at the top of my list.

Ciao for now!

CaliNurse

Yes, congratulations Annhig on making the right choice for you! You now have planning enjoyment focussing on the "where" not the "if."

Totally second this from Loncali:

"Happily India is not going to go anywhere and so you will have all the fun of it to enjoy at some future date when you feel the time is right."

blaire25

Can't say what works for you. Travelling alone gives an opportunity to meet new people. Travelling with a group means less worry about not knowing where you are going.

progol

Ann, I'm sorry to chime in so late on this thread but am glad that you found your solution!

I had been tossing the question back and forth and don't know if I would've wanted to travel solo just yet if it were me- but I also know that I would be reluctant to travel with a group. I have traveled on my own in my 20s and 30s, but having been married for nearly 30 years and used to traveling with a partner, it would be a difficult change to make after entering solo state again. I was going to suggest going to a location in India where there are group activities offered but also where you could choose what appealed.

However, I think your choice to do a language course is perfect! This is something that you're familiar with and give you a purpose and a focus and will be with others in a way that you can choose to be independent or not.

So glad to hear that you have made a good decision for yourself! And India will definitely not go away!

annhig

thanks, Calinurse, and Progol for your understanding and thoughtful responses. I am going to be on myself for some of the trip - the first few days in Venice [or Venice and Padua according to what I decide to do] I will be thrown back almost entirely on my own company [apart from any GTGs I can set up!] and then in Bologna I have decided to rent an apartment, so evenings I will be by myself at least some of the time. I looked at hotels, but you can be pretty lonely in a hotel room, and even the largest I can afford gets to be pretty small after a couple of days. [I've done that for work and i don't enjoy it that much]. And I think I'm too old for shared rooms in strange people's houses.

So I have found what looks like a very nice apartment right in the centre of Bologna - 10 mins walk from the station and another 10 from the language school - with plenty of restaurants and cafes in the vicinity. And I have it on "free cancellation terms" should I change my mind. [perhaps I need a hotel as a back up!]

<< Travelling alone gives an opportunity to meet new people. Travelling with a group means less worry about not knowing where you are going.>>

Blaire - thank you for your contribution; yes, we're all different, aren't we? with this plan, I'm hoping to get a little of both.

crosscheck

Hi Annhig,

Sorry I'm late to the party. My work has been insane and I haven't had time for real or vicarious travel, but I just discovered this thread and wanted to say hello.

Although India was one of my most remarkable trips ever, learning a language is even more transformative - and what better place to do that than Italy. Very envious of your decision.

Maybe we can meet up in India some day (if not Cuba - BTW, our nemesis seems to have left the room).

annhig

Maybe we can meet up in India some day (if not Cuba - BTW, our nemesis seems to have left the room).>>

great idea crosscheck - meeting up in India that is. I can't see me going back to Cuba - I feel that it would be too much like going back and too redolent of the wonderful time I had there with Bill.

as for our mutual friend, she reminds me of someone on the Europe board - so much great information to impart but unable to do so without lecturing or giving offence.

An update on my italian trip - in the end I went along with the school's suggestion that I stay with a local lady in a room in her apartment in the centre of Bologna. What swung it for me is that she is my age and interested in food and cooking and I will have access to her kitchen. And it will be an opportunity to practice my new-won language skills!

Lolazahra

This is foders.com at its very best. Fantastic thread full of useful information for anyone wanting to travel to India, great friendship and compassion for annhig and wonderful stories about travel from all over the world. annhig, I love that you have settled on a destination that will give you comfort and an ability to stretch yourself linguistically and allow you to enjoy your love of food and to meet new people! I love Italy as well. I completed a Master's degree a few years back in Human Development and Social Justice at an American university, but we had to do two 3 week stints in Rome as part of our studies over the two year program. I rented an apartment both times, brought my kids along, lived like an Italian and studied. It was heaven. Can't wait to read about your experience.