Midway through our stay in Hanoi, we were caught in the devastating floods in late October/early November so I am sure that this affected our perception of Vietnam. To summarize, we didn't love it. We had many of the same reactions as NYWoman. It was the only place in SEAsia we ever felt uncomfortable, between the touts and the lack of infrastructure (and also, like NYWoman, I have been to Mumbai).
We stayed at the Sofitel Metropole which was our least favorite of all our hotels in 5+ weeks. The opera wing was full of very loud tour groups. After the first day, we had breakfast in the french restaurant in the old wing because the breakfast room was so noisy. I found the service in the hotel very unhelpful- here are two examples. I told the reception that I wanted to go to the Mausoleum, would they please help us get a taxi. Why couldn't they have told me it was closed that day? Second, I asked the concerige to reconfirm our flight. They wouldn't do it, no need to on Vietnam Air, they said. Well, it worked out OK, but later in our trip one of our flight times changed by 2 1/2 hours!! What if that had been the case in Vietnam?
We did eat fantastically well, although there were 2 "incidents" that were unpleasant. At Highway 4, they tried to charge us 50% more than the going exchange rate (and it was the only meal in 5 + weeks in Asia that DH and I both got sick). Also, we got suckered at Cha Ca La Voung and went to the wrong one. But every other meal was really fantastic: the Vietnamese restaurant in the Sofitel, Club Opera, Wild Rice, Biennpo, ice cream at Fanny's.
We loved the Fine Arts Museum, there was hardly anyone there and we bought some lovely things at the museum shop. We had a really terrific time with the two young women from HelloHanoi who took us to the prison and the Temple of Literature. I highly recommend the organization if you can get a reservation with them. But we missed some of the other things we had been looking forward to, including the water puppets (which were sold out during the time slots we could go) mainly because of the flooding. One night we couldn't even cross the street for dinner.
We did an overnight on the Jasmine Junk on Halong Bay, which was one of the highlights of our trip and certainly the best part of our week in Vietnam. It is a lovely boat, the excursions were fun, interesting people, great food (including fresh fish from the fishing village).
Except for food at the less fancy restaurants, I found Vietnam pricey for the quality and service compared with other places we have travelled in Southeast Asia. We're not sorry we went- -but it was our least favorite country in Asia.

Thanks DC its interesting that more people are saying what you and NY are these days. Perhaps its just got to that point in time when there are now too many tourists and service etc hasn't caught up. That space where they are now more interested in just the money and not giving anything for it. Hopefully it will get over that soon.

Such a shame about the floods too - bad for your holiday and dreadful for the locals.

I've been deciding between Hanoi, Kathmandu or just back to Lao (yet again) Think maybe with these reports I might go with Kathmandu!

Thanks again.
Mary

thanks for this update....i liked our time in vietnam, but i was not in love with it like i have been with other SE Asia places... we were there about 5 years ago and thought they were just building the infasturcture.....sounds like it is built and now collapsing...

DC - sorry to hear your Vietnam visit was less than perfect. Did you have a Club room at the Metropole or just a regular one in the Opera Wing? Also, at which branch of Highway 4 did you dine? Lastly, we are considering using Hello Hanoi - how far in advance did you contact them?

Craig, we stayed in a room in the opera wing and it was OK size-wise. Be sure that your room faces the interior of the hotel, not the street side because of the noise. We ate at the Highway 4 branch that was not too far from the hotel...the upstairs room has seating with low tables and you put your legs under the table or sit crosslegged. This was uncomfortable for us but many people don't mind it. Most of the dishes we ordered were very tasty. We ordered a couple of their special alcohols. One was called "5 times in one night" and I thought it would be funny for us to order it. I didn't realize it meant 5 times in one night to rush to the bathroom.
I contacted Hello Hanoi about 6 weeks in advance. But they told me that they cannot keep up with the demand, so book early and give them some alternative times. The 2 young women we went with go have classes and we had to reschedule from our original times so that they wouldn't have to miss school.
Mary, if I had to redo the trip in retrospect I would have skipped Vietnam and redistributed the time to Malaysia and maybe a couple of extra days in Hong Kong. However, it is a place that we always felt we HAD to visit because of the importance of the country during our formative years. And it isn't as if it was terrible....just compared to every other place we have been in Asia, it wasn't "great".