Bongo was very sheepish the next day. We decided on manly silence.

I’d already forgiven him, anyway. He’d just gone a bit too far.

It was all for the love of a wife he’d barely seen - and that baby in Bihar.

The End.

Forgive me.

Dogster must tell all. Anthropology.

Wonderful as ever Dogster - I've caught up on the cruise too but there is still a few bits I've yet to finish!!!! I'm going to take that bottle of dog-slayer now - its needed.

Fraid there's nothing worthy of a trip report from me this time - a couple of weeks in Phuket with the roo buster getting a dose of food poisoning bad enough to need antibiotics - first time in more than 20 years of Thailand and South East Asia. Then a great week of good food/coffee etc in Vientiane - I like that town, and a week in wonderful Bangkok. Don't know why we go to Phuket - each time we've stopped we think the same - its just not Thailand and now its getting more and more like Bali! My only excuse is the plane stops there so might as well get off and see if its got any better.

Yucck! Fortunately I haven't had breakfast yet. Another tale that obviously needed to be told to your adoring fans. I look forward to some interesting reactions to this one from those brave enough to read it to the end.

lol Sorry Craig. I did warn you. Next time you see the word 'horrible' you'll know I mean it. Argh-h-h-h. It'll be a while before the next story, so I thought I'd leave you on a high.

I can see you now as the Godfather of Baby Bongo of Bihar.

What's REALLY horrible is that it'll be a while before the next story! Do reconsider.

We all know you're a straight shooter, so we are not horrified or surprised at the predicaments you encounter. Carry on!

How revolting dogster. You are a brave man to share such a sordid encounter. Just goes to show, no matter how astute the traveler, he will somehow get sucked into the vortex of Colaba and Mumbai. It is inevitable. Now pardon me while I continue to be grossed out.

Ahhh, trav: indeed - it was the single low point of my travels to India : period. Which is why I felt inclined to write about it. It's a singular moment of disgustingness that I walked straight into with my eyes wide shut. lol lol lol .I can conjure it up right now.

I'll try and conjure romance out of a day trip to Elephanta Island next time. Or a visit to the museum.

But secretly, just between you and me, I reckon I'm not the first traveler to have such sordid encounters. lol. It's just that most have the great good sense not to write about them.

In fact, I CAN write about them, 'cos I don't DO 'em.[in the Biblical sense] I just get as close as I can - then run screaming. Most of my stories are exactly that, if you stop to think about it. One thing leads to another and another - before you know it... he-e-e-ere's Bingo! Really, they are as much stories about my own idiocy as the venality of others.

I'd just relax and laugh at my folly, it's easier.

Dogster, I love your attitude and your willingness to venture right to the very edge. That is great travel IMHO. You are providing a great service to your readers, who aren't nearly as courageous! And, yes, I suspect more than one reader will see him/herself in these stories ~ and are too ashamed to admit it publicly (or at least semi-publicly on Fodors). I am laughing as I conjure up the vision of you getting right up to the do-or-die moment and then running screaming. Your telling of your not-so-good sense follies, but even more, the admission of your vulnerability (and yes, maybe a bit of idiocy), is so refreshing. Not only is it entertaining (being an entertainer is a large part of the charm of your persona I surmise), but it demonstrates the benefits of humility. As always, thanks!

'being an entertainer is a large part of the charm of your persona I surmise...'

No-o-o-o. I neither entertain - nor charm. Trust me. I let them entertain me.

But your words are kind and, as always, acute, trav. I'm still waiting to discover the benefits of humility... life has certainly done its best to remind me of my place in the cosmic scheme of things. Humble would be an appropriate word if it wasn't so overstated. Insignificant would be better.

You are not insignificant my friend ~ no more than any of us. You are loved (you really ARE) ~ that is a benefit of humility. And, though you say you neither entertain nor charm, you certainly charm and entertain us (I suspect you also do in your real life, because you are so good at it).

The miscommunications across cultures is often the source of merriment... and of humiliation. And there are few things that lend themselves more to miscommunication than sexual signals - even between people of the same language and same culture.

It was brave of you to write about the incident.

Dogster,
Another great story and wonderful descriptions.
"I thought at the time he may have been slightly retarded, but he was just naturally stupid."

Hope you had some nasty Listerine in your room.

Wow! You are right...few of us write about our "unusual" experiences during travel but even grandmothers have had some interesting experiences. We just do not have the writer's skill to tell the experience with style. So glad you do. But I do hope HORRIBLE will not happen again.

oh, elainee - I hope HORRIBLE will not happen again, too. Very much indeed.

Well, here was I hoping that my Bongo adventure might make you laugh - all I've accomplished is a rash of revulsion right across North America. lol. Oh well. Back to the drawing board...

I am sorry to repeat myself and others; get published. So many readers are missing out on this. It's trully awesome reading.

I have already given a printout to my colleague at work. I know he will love your wit and style and it's something for him to read when he departs for Wales (GB welsh bit that is).

A fan I am.

Not as revolting as the story regarding the children...I was expecting much worse.

lol, moremiles: I've had a lot of revolting things happen to me in India, I realise. Really, a lot. It's all my own stupid fault. But then, I'm IN India for long periods; three months at stretch. Something weird is bound to happen. Law of averages.

And thank you, Marge. Both your comments have been really kind. Just click on my name and go to Trip Reports - you can read Doggy tails till you drop.

Next I will write a beautiful love story, starring Dogster and a bevy of Bollywood beauties. It will be a break from tradition; this essay will be pure fiction.

I finally found time this morning to read the latest Dogster tail. I LOL'd numerous times and you can count me as one of your fans that didn't get revolted during the Bingo encounter. After reading your other stories it just seems like another typical Dogster-style misadventure. And I say "typical" with the greatest respect for your quest for anthropological discovery!

As always, loved the vivid descriptions like "I felt like an old prosciutto hung out to dry" and "Poking out of the clam was a vast purple slug." Fabulous.

When I read this story I found myself thinking it might make an even better movie than a book. Would love to see a Dogster story on the big screen! Who would play you? I imagine you as a Michael Caine or a skinny Tom Wilkinson. Am I way off?